Redefining Values: The Key to Claiming Our Rightful Space in the World
Introduction - External Ideals, and Feelin Lost:
Much of our lives are shaped by values ingrained in us through cultural and familial systems. As we become aware of the beliefs that no longer serve us, we break free from them. This process can be challenging as these systems often fail to make space for new ways of thinking.
We often feel lost because we live within structures set by those who came before us. These structures often impose outdated ideals of what it means to be a "qualified" person. Soon enough, we notice the internal conflicts—we no longer resonate with the ideals taught to us. Instead, life, through our experiences, teaches us to tread our own path.
On Redefining Ideals:
A practical approach to navigating this shift is redefining what these ideals mean to us. With each redefinition, we regain control over external values, strengthening our connection to what matters to us. When our actions align with these redefined ideals, they feel significant and impactful. These actions reflect who we are at our core.
These redefinitions allow us to reclaim our meaning of life. We're no longer mere products of ideals that mean nothing to us. Rather, we become outcomes of values that resonate deeply with us, aligning with the blueprint of our natural selves. No longer in conflict with external ideals, we free ourselves from the need to internalize them. This liberation enables us to wholeheartedly dedicate ourselves to our purpose, vision, and mission.
As we redefine our values, we also begin to approach life differently. The linear ways of doing things lose their appeal. We find ourselves more willing to take chances, trust our instincts, and explore new avenues with curiosity and openness. Each step guided by our intuition becomes a testament to creating our intentional life.
Redefine, to Reclaim:
Here are a few practices to get started and reclaim your life.
1 Get Curious - Begin by observing how you interact with the world; and your general outlook. Explore your thoughts, routine, and general belief systems. Go out for a walk, listen to your favourite music or watch your favourite TV shows - pay attention to what resonates with you, and what doesn't. This exercise helps you identify elements that truly matter to you.
2 Journal your General Patterns - Reflect on the ideals that drive your day-to-day behaviours. What excites you? What drains you? What underlying beliefs influence your activities?
Note down the ideals that are important to you. Here are some prompts to get you started:
aspiration
success
kindness
compassion
future
happiness
intelligence
Feel free to expand this list with your own ideas.
3 Define The Ideals - Based on your experiences, define the terms you've listed. What do they mean to you personally? Identify which ones resonate with you and which don’t. To make this process visual, use different colours—mark the ones you connect with in one colour and those you don’t in another.
4 Redefine the Ideals - Revisit the ideals you didn’t resonate with. Now, redefine them in a way that aligns with your personal perspective. You can draw inspiration from books or quotes that explore human qualities but also trust your instincts. Consider how these redefined ideals can serve as a stronger foundation for your life.
5 Practice - Since we often operate on auto-pilot, it is easy to fall prey to old habits. Stay mindful of your day-to-day interactions, pause when needed, and embody your redefined ideas. This consistent awareness will help you integrate these changes into your life.
6 Rinse and Repeat - As you move through your days, continue to embody curiosity and question what you notice. Keep journaling your observations and reflect on what they mean to you. Redefine your ideals as needed, and keep practising.
Final Thoughts:
We are born into a world where the external structures, just sort of exist, and we're taught to adhere to it without questioning their relevance. These structures evolved through millennia, and often fail to serve individuals fairly. There are too many of us to fit neatly into one rigid framework. However, when we dare to take up space as our fullest self, the world adapts to accommodate our presence.
This is how we create and claim our space in the world. By owning who we are, we reshape the structures around us and contribute to a more inclusive, dynamic way of being.