addicts aren't just addicted to the drug , the chemical , but the way it makes one feel. the lack of emotion , of pain and grief and loss. it allows them a moment where they're not doubled over clutching at their heart asking ' why '. maybe that was why she started in the first place. but then she saw the one thing that cut deeper than all others. right through her protective shield , through the mask she wore , until that pain was caged inside her , bouncing within a hollow ribcage. he , the one person she had left , the only person she had left , with her. with diyoza. should she have seen it coming ? had it been going on since they got there ? one of the only times she'd ventured outside since arriving there , only to stumble upon that. she'd turned on her heel the moment she saw it , clapped a hand over her mouth to mask the unintelligible sound that escaped as she hurried back to their makeshift hospital.
it wasn't until she was back inside that she began to completely unravel. pacing back and forth across the creaking wood floors , digging her finger nails into her scalp , hoping that maybe she'd wake up. that the last person on her side hadn't holed up with their enemy. that's where he finds her , talking to herself , making vain attempts to convince herself it wasn't real when the door creaks open. she shrinks further away , deeper into the room , ❛ what are you . . . what was that !? is this your way of telling me it's over ? ❜ / @redempticnarc
