tell me more about your red spy. please. he agonizes me
You have no idea how ill he makes me. It's so dire, okay.
Sylvain isn't even his name. He's not sure how his clone got memories tangled up in one of his first few false identities, but it's not his name. It never has been, just like the hundreds of other fake names he's used over the years. His clone just mistakenly thought it to be his real name, and thus made it a name of his own. It's as real to Sylvain as it needs to be, so it doesn't matter to him if it is or not. RED Spy knows it's not real.
RED Spy doesn't let himself have a "true" name. Whatever name that child in France had all those years ago has been long since burned with the rest of his familial attachments. Having an identity is a childish need. He can be René, Louis, Raphael, or Jacques. It doesn't matter to him.
He's nameless, and often faceless. Even who his teammates think he is, is just another facade. 'Spy' is another false identity, a bitter and cruel man who enjoys killing, enjoys what he does to others. Laughs about it as he stabs them in the back.
When he takes off his mask and looks in the mirror he doesn't know who is he anymore, and he hates the face that looks back at him. He would never let himself be so vulnerable and needy like his clone. He would never let people hurt him like that. Why is he so jealous seeing his clone's relationships? The trust that he can't let himself have?
Spy hates the fact that he has a clone. That thing, running around with the face he despises so much, showing it to others. Sharing parts of his memories with others. Even... Being a better father than he let himself ever be.
BLU Spy tells his Scout the truth. RED Spy can't bring himself to. He's not supposed to have attachments like this. Not even with his own son. Everything that happened with Scout's mother was a mistake, an error on his part. She never knew him deeper than the fake identity he told her about, the lies he spun for her in bed. But then why... Does he miss her so much?
