Beginning of the Red Year in 4E 5, the Fourth Era
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Beginning of the Red Year in 4E 5, the Fourth Era
This one is also available on my redbubble: anne-wild.redbubble.com
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2013 painted me Red... instead.
12.31.12 New Year
It should have been Orange. I decided on that day that Orange should start the new year. I even wore an orange shirt to prove my devotion. I wanted a bright and sunny 2013. I wanted to paint the year Orange! But my life went upside down. The year painted me instead. It painted me... Red.
02.14.13 Valentine's Day
Red is the color of the day when it all started. And it started with a serenade. It was just the simple kind of serenade, where a boy sings a song or two to the girl he loves inside a classroom in full view to their classmates who listen and giggle and take video footages. Yes! Exactly what happened.. to me.. on that very day.
They say you're lucky when you get serenaded. Even assume that you have found the one. But I wasn't hasty enough to believe. So I continued my Orange crusade.. to the day I reached 18.
02.18.13 @18
Red is the color of the event. An event that every girl is excited about. You get to dance with the 18 most important men in your life and be given gratitude and honor by the 18 most important women. The day when all the people you treasured during your 18 years of existence gather together to celebrate with you and be with you as you advance to the next level of the game, Adulthood.
It is generally related to the color Red, but the right color for me was Orange. I was all about orange... until summer.
03.27.13 Summer Love Story
2013 summer would have been orange hot. But on the 2nd day of that summer, I finally said the magic words. We were finally mutual. My life was becoming Red.
Brief Background:
We were classmates in 2nd year. First few days and I already felt something. Don't know what that was, but there was something. But he had another crush. So it stopped.. or didnt? We started communicating, and eventually developed a mutual feeling. He told me he liked me, but I was hesitant because I had known that he was also making a move on another girl. So I held back. We remained friends, but he pursued me. I cant remember the exact day he started taking chances, but I do remember the very first time he told me he loved me. Oct. 17, 2012. I did save it on the phone that I lost in the same year. A girl always saves the first.. or at least try to save. He is not the first to make a move on me, but he is the first to catch me off guard. After that confession, I was still hesitant. I shouldnt like him just because he liked me, so I had to make sure. But after months of holding back, on March 27, 2013, I finally had the grasp of courage and told him three words.
It was a perfect Summer, I thought. It was sweet... at first. We were all about each other, you'd thought it will never end. But it did.
Only few weeks passed and he started getting cold. Sending text messages only to say Good night. I considered the fact that it was summer, so maybe he had a "Summer Bucket List" that he wanted to do, but it was getting worse. No text messages at all! For ONE WHOLE MONTH. A sudden end. A sudden kill. I didnt even get the chance to know why! Where did it go wrong? Where did it go wrong! I was in constant need for an answer. But it was never given. Justice was never served.
It was a perfect Summer, I thought. But I guess my thoughts betrayed me. My summer was all about him. But he was all about him, too.
Summer love story. It was Red, but it ended. Summer ended. But the love story? Well.. he came back.
06.2013
Juniors. I am a Proud Junior- a blazing fire junior. We are THE CHAMPIONS., and we have the most amazing Representative. \m/ I am a part of the Third Year Accountancy Student Executive Council (TASEC), and it was the only thing that motivated me at the start of the school year. But 3Bee happened..
3B- Blessing in disguise
I was greatly disappointed the moment I saw the list of students in each section. We were resectioned! At that time, I already had developed fondness to our section, so I was happy I remained in Sec B. But some friends were dispersed. Worse, HE! was in Sec A.
Truth is, I really prayed that we remain classmates, maybe until we graduate. A chance to get closer. But it didnt happen. So alright, accept the things you cannot change.
But 3Bee is a blessing in disguise. Just for about two or three months, we became a family. It felt good and I had somehow forgotten that my heart was ever broken. But my heart did not totally forgot.
Oh my stupid heart. Killing all the joy that I tried so hard to contain, and replacing it with memories I tried even harder to erase. And it didn't help that we were actually communicating.. constantly.
Yes. He did come back. Days before classes started, he started sending me messages. As if nothing happened. Ha ha. And as dumb as I'll ever be, I gave in. He would tell me he missed me, and I would answer him the same. He asked for another chance, and I willingly accepted him, only to be withdrawn.. again. But DUMB girl is DUMB, I let my heart take over. So one fateful night..
July 28, 2013
"Can u be my girlfriend?"
"Are you sure?"
"Again. Can u be my girlfriend?"
"Yes."
"Then, ur my girlfriend. July 28, 2013. Im urs, ur mine."
(Not the exact messages but close enough)
It was official.. and so sudden. He was on the verge of walking out of my life and minutes later... we were on? I can only laugh.
In a relationship
It was something NEW to me. Well, I had my first but that was just a result of "Peer pressure" and it was during summer, only a month, then we're off.
But this one's different. This one's dangerous but beautiful.
In the first months of being together, we were awkward. I WAS AWKWARD. I was ignoring him. I couldnt even look at him in the eye. I kept saying, "Im sorry. Im not used to this all." Our friends would tease us and I would get embarassed so I would walk away and leave. I knew that hurt him. So in the following months, I took the action. I did everything a girlfriend must do, not out of obligation but out of love. I wanted our relationship to work.
But life has no meaning if it's not a mess, right?
For the following months, it was normal. Constant communication via text messaging and going out on a date every so often. It was everything I dreamed of, it was perfect.
But nothing's perfect.. and permanent. "People change, feelings fade."
It was ruined. I didnt know why and how it got ruined or what and who ruined it, but I know it was already ruined.
He was getting cold again. He had no time and effort to give. He gave me reasons to overthink. So I started seeking attention, demanding for time. I began to doubt. I began to ask a lot of questions, letting out emotions, that made him feel suffocated. I was in pain.. every night!
My distractor?
3Bee :)
No resectioning for the 2nd Semester. A great news! It gave us the opportunity to bond more. We became closer. We were like brothers and sisters. Everybody laughs at the same joke. Everybody cooperates, contributes, and participates. We even championed a carolling contest. And successfully conducted an Outreach Program as a result of all our efforts in carolling to different houses and selling our home-made munchkins. Our Christmas Party was the best Party to date!
I found happiness... in the day. But at night, still, I was in pain.
Up until now. 2014.
Redlining. #redyear #spring