#reflection paper

[plutondayasamakisterdimm]

29.10.2024 - 2.30 AM

Reflection paper (değerlendirme makalesi) - yazıldı ve gönderildi!

[princelyharry]

Journal 2- Who Am I?

I am not the kind of person who is confident to write something about herself. I am a mystery of my own self and I like to keep it that way. So, I just decided to tell you about this, anyway this is also a part of who I am today.

I do have a hard time finding myself, but after a series of silent questions while listening to Harry Styles’ music late at night I now have something to share.

This year I found myself liking and loving a lot of new and old things. Yes, I just go over my previous stuff and get obsessed over at it again.

I’m starting to love reading again. I’m not into the genre of romance now but instead, I tried reading horror novels especially the works of Stephen King and I’m falling in love with one of his New Times Bestselling Novels entitled IT. Also, my ultimate favorite for the Young Adult/Romance genre is Jennifer Niven’s All The Bright Places and for the Young Adult/Bildungsroman genre is Benjamin Alire Sáenz’s Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. I won’t discuss why they are my ultimate favorites but if you read these books you’ll understand why I fell in love with them. I started reading novels when I was in 7th grade and I always tell everyone that reading books helped me survive high school.

Then last December 2020, I became addicted in collecting Funko Pops. In case you don’t know, they are a collection of pop culture characters. They are cute vinyl/bobbleheads figurines. I started collecting the Pop Rocks, specifically the PRINCE line and in less than a week, I completed all the 3 PRINCE Funko Pops. Two weeks ago, I bought a Pennywise Funko Pop just to pair with my IT novel.

Currently I am binge-watching some One Direction concert films and listening to their songs. Oh, how I miss them! I remember enjoying a lot of their merchandises which I begged my mom to buy. When they had concert here in the Philippines last March 2015, I was sad because I wasn’t able to go. I was really hoping I’d get tickets for their concert on my graduation. But luckily, the next year I had a good opportunity to convince my parents to let me go to the 5 Seconds Of Summer concert. It was the best day of my life!

I am forever grateful for these things and people who made me happy and somehow became my inspiration to study harder.

[milokastudies]

7/12/2018 ~ Studying NT and writing reflection papers

Finals are in TWO DAYS.

I know I’m supposed to be super motivated around this time, but I’m so tired Y'all. The grind doesn’t stop though so let’s keep going. Also, I love it when I'm the only person in this section of the library.  

7 days left until Christmas Break.🎄

[project-ces-sds-blog]

I’ve Cracked the Code on My Media Consumption and Lack Thereof

Call it depression, call it whatever.

But I’ve realized exactly why I am unable to consume a lot of entertainment media since the start of last year. 

Something really broke me in 2017, and it shows via my severe lack of creative content on my artblog. It’s because I was unable to make or enjoy anything.

 I couldn’t even listen to my favorite music without feeling indifferent or annoyed at the time.

2018 is when I seemingly flipped a complete 180 in comparison, ever since I started to focus on original content. Most especially when it came to writing.

I’m learning a lot of new things, and the biggest thing I’ve learned is that there is a distinction between “art” and “craft.” I did not know that there was a difference between the two, nor did I know that the differences are worth thinking about.

But since I’ve been made aware between the difference on “craft” and “art” towards writing, I’ve been given some very interesting feedback towards my original work. So far, the state of the content I write is “pure entertainment.”

And now, I’m in the process of learning about the differences between writing “pure entertainment” and “writing for emotional impact.” Prior, I thought just having reactions--any kind of reaction--towards works ARE what defines “an emotional impact.”

I have since learned that the difference between an amateur storyteller and a professional storyteller is whether or not you can curate a SPECIFIC emotional reaction. The more specific you are in your handling of the “craft” can determine whether or not your “art” can garner a SPECIFIC emotional impact. 

And as of now, I realize that this is exactly why I’ve been unable to consume any kind of entertainment. It’s due in part that I am also seeking to feel specific emotions.

I can only, personally react to certain things if they have a specific emotional impact. I can’t indulge myself in mindless entertainment anymore. It has stopped working for me for awhile now.

My hopes for myself is that, not only may I be able to write for a specific emotional impact, but I can start to find media that can instill specific emotions within me that I can use to heal right now. 

[project-ces-sds-blog]

“SOW DON’T SING”-FEEDBACK/Rewriting Draft 5 Reflection Paper

“Luca is mood” is a reaction I’ve actually received early on, and it continues to prove itself true because holy hell. I’ve been face-palming for two weeks and then some.

You’re probably wondering where the reflection papers for drafts 2, 3, and 4 are considering I only wrote essays on the first draft and the thoughts preceding it’s feedback.

They don’t exist because the creation of the second, third, and fourth rewrites have been a clusterfuck. The battle was against technical online programs SNAFU that killed the whole script that I had to fix by hand in time for submission, which I did very poorly due to the rush. This resulted in wasted time and literal money.

The real kicker is that I have since found myself at a loss since the first draft, which ended up to be more tightly written than the succeeding drafts after it, despite the sucky first ending. At this point, I’m sure it’s safe to say it was because of a lot of conflicting feedback.

Sources at school convinced me that I didn’t need to dial myself back in the script anymore, and continue to beef up the writing.

The next thing I knew, I was given notes back from here saying:

“Alrighty, then,” I said to myself. “Let me fix that.” But then, I read the notes given further.

Thing is, my current problems with writing this dumb script paired with dumb feedback has led down the rabbit hole of headaches.

And I want to address it because it’s driving me insane. I was going to do this in a manner of a more eloquent essay, but I can’t stand beating around the bush. This feedback isn’t helping me.

He what?? He wants to what now his dad?

This is on page freakin 3, yo.

MAYBE....MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE...HIS DAD HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT....

HIS DAD ISN’T A CHARACTER HE’S A FRAMING DEVICE OH MY GOD.

THIS IS WHAT CREATES THE RIFT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Oh, for sure. I didn’t do my research. PSYCHE:

THAT IS LITERALLY HIS JOB. IT IS LITERALLY HIS JOB TO COUNSEL. IS RAISING MORALE A FOREIGN CONCEPT TO YOU? A SAD SOLDIER IS A SOLDIER THAT CAN LAND PEOPLE D E A D.

AND ABOUT HIM BEING A “LITTLE SAD”

HE IS FAILING.....BASIC TRAINING........WHAT ELSE.....WOULD A “DIP IN PERFORMANCE” MEAN?

“OH, BUT VAR,” YOU MAY SAY, “MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE YOU WROTE IT WEIRD AND NOT EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS THE MACHINATION OF THE US ARMY IS WHY FILM PROFESSIONALS WERE CONFUSED.”

THEN!

EXPLAIN!

THIS!

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUUUUUTTTTT????!!?!!?!

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:

Don’t take your confusion up with me, seeing how you view “animation” as a genre WHEN YOUR WEBSITE CLEARLY SAID:

The bias towards animation is real. It’s not made up. I’m crying.

Anyway, I rewrote this script with what little legitimate criticism I can salvage from these notes despite everything which has been my little circle of hell as of late.

Thankfully, I’m now fully aware and now engaged of what it takes to take screenwriting seriously. I’m also armed with some invaluable texts I can use for educational bolstering. The next feedback competition/session is nigh, and I’m willing to fork over the steep price. 

Draft 5 is complete and I have 3 more days until the deadline. So, what will happen next?

[project-ces-sds-blog]

“SOW DON’T SING”-Beta Reads First Draft Impressions Reflection Paper

First draft reflection paper HERE.

Last Thursday I received my feedback for the first draft of “Sow Don’t Sing,” so today’s reflection paper will be in accordance to organizing my thoughts on what has been said about it and how I’ll move forward with the second rewrite.

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE STORY DISCUSSED BELOW!

I’m still pretty stunned how the feedback overall has been mostly positive. I’ve never considered myself an adequate writer because of some hiccups and negative experiences back in elementary school where my enthusiasm for writing was squashed...so this is really great for me to know that I have some footing.

She also said she “can’t wait to see where this project will end up??” and that I “could send her the next drafts of the scripts in full so that she could read the whole thing comprehensively??” Cries??? I’m so thankful for her support.

My prof who did the read likes to repeatedly mention that I have “an ear for natural dialogue” (for the most part) and that I’ve “clearly got something here,” which is the greatest thing I can hear right now since the role of the binders is ground zero for spit-balling ideas and accumulating the ones that seems to stick.

How well some parts in the script operate is directly proportionate to how much material has been tinkered/stored in the design works binders...good to know, since I’d be doing something REALLY wrong if the more I do, the worse it gets. Guess I’ll continue to hammer away in this particular writing process I’ve composed for myself. 

With the way things are turning out, I might only really be able to submit this script to screenwriting contests at the earliest in Fall 2019...I really hope it would be earlier or around this estimated time.

I sometimes forget about the roots of my influences of this story. It surprises me that my professor really wants to bolster the whole “Ole Lukøje” concept more in the film...I kinda held back since I was certain the idea was really, really stupid? Especially in practice lmao?? But I guess in context of the story it operated rather well...To think something I slapped on for trailer fodder became coherent...wow.

That said, I must not forget about my roots of influence. The better ideas here came directly from anime lol... (Bungaku Shoujo, Detective Conan, and Haibane Renmei, anything Yamada Naoko directs, are all subtly, but directly influenced in this mess--just not in the way you’d think.)

APPARENTLY THE BEST SCENE I WROTE IN THIS THING IS THE SEX SCENE???? THAT’S PROBABLY THE STRONGEST PART??? LMAO HOW DID I END UP HERE???

Probably the most profound question my prof asked me was “what kind of story are you trying to tell?” and that “I should have that question posted on a sticky note and slap it on my PC as I write.” This was less negative criticism, and more of a response towards my asking of her on “whether or not Ramon should live in the end.” However it’s good to reflect on that since for a hot second when I honestly blanked out and forgot at the time she asked. 

I remember now though--this story is my life and how I view the world personally. But I must not forget my transition between thinking “like a child” and thinking “like an adult.” It started with a dream I had, where I was among dilapidated ruins of a cityscape--with the dust and acrid smell of chipped concrete filled the air--but the clouds above emitted a strong but gentle, golden light onto the gray from down below. That very specific feeling of listlessness is what I wish to properly convey. I’m creating a story that just drips and oozes with that emotion--painful, but poignant and glimmering with a golden sheen but the very end. I should never forget that.

A similar body of work that had deeply influenced the emotional confine of this project would have to be @rapparu33​ ‘s film “カナメヲ,” which they have mentioned on twitter that it was an idea stemmed from a dream. I’m glad to be on a similar path here. 

Okay, so goals for the second draft:

I’ve been told that the first couple of pages are rapid-firing information that is difficult to grasp all at once which was the intended purpose haha since I’ve heard that “if you don’t impress on the first page script readers will throw it out.” My prof complimented me on listening to that but gave me the relief that for the purposes of this story, I won’t have to do that. (Thank God.)

I’ll be able to slow down the start and give more time for the audience to chew on Ondine and Camille.

I didn’t realize that I was caught up in the fascination with Bentley because of novelty. Since he’s technically the newest addition to the cast and the last to be added to this ensemble, I was just distracted by how shiny and new he was. Now that he’s taken time to simmer in my head, I can think about him a lot more prospectively.

My prof said his dialogue is probably the weakest/clunkiest part of the army segment and that “he spiels like every self-help book I’ve ever read, ever.” That hit it hard on the nail--that is exactly what I did. I tried very hard to write this sort of “infallible mentor figure” but since I’ve never had that sort of figure in my life, it was very hard to write. I ended up writing what I wanted to hear instead of something more genuine. 

I need to make a list of diction....

Bentley will now take a different turn in this second rewrite in the hopes of him coming off more organic--and I’ve figured out how. I’ll have to write his backstory and just focus on him and Susan before I can attempt to rewrite his bits.

Bentley and Luca will now hug in the story because I am Satan.

Jimmy and Luca will also hug to balance them out because I am still Satan.

Speaking of Jimmy, I want to give more focus on their friendship--so I hope I’ll be able to add in more characterization--hopefully to also mention that Luca played violin for a time.

Ramon will indeed live in this draft since I have found a way to alleviate some of the burden of Isidore’s role around the ending.

Ramon will also spit less fire this time around, and will visually drop his affections towards Nelson more.

As I’ve tinkered with Ramon, Virgil ended up being much more fleshed out than I could have ever anticipated despite being a one-note character. Dang. Go me.

I somehow added a third instance where Luca tries to kill himself. Go me again, lol.

Wondering if a fake-out kiss between Luca and Nelson is possible...lol...

I’ll really have to focus that around the end it’s less about Luca “embracing his darkness” and more along the lines of “accepting a suicide mission where he will die as Ole Lukøje and not as Luca Russo.

Luca lost in his reverie when he speaks to a wounded but alive Ramon at the end is probably my newest favorite scene since the visuals are a la Haibane Renmei (hello Reki) so I can’t wait to sketch it out and really explore that idea. It also a reference to that one scene in Breaking Bad’s “The Fly,” I guess. At least, that’s what I’m going for. 

Also wondering whether or not Luca will be killed off this time around. The ending where he lives is giving me trouble, and it’d be easier to kill him off. As much as possible...I want a happy ending. It’ll be quite a ways away before I can accomplish that, though.

I feel that the more I start to focus on “Cogito Ergo Sum,” the better off “Sow Don’t Sing” will also eventually be. At this point in time however, I’m very intimidated about Project-CES, but hopefully I can forgo that fear in the nearest future. 

[cybermaster13]

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