Recovering/Therapy/Personal
today my therapist told me that despite all the exams I may or may not pass (and more or less brilliantly) growing up in my environment would have 99% led anyone to a depressive lifestyle, with no motivation and basically laying in bed 24/7 and giving up on everything.
He told me he really doesn't know what he himself would have done being in my shoes.
He told me to practice a bit of "mindfulness exercise" and to try and achieve mindfulness of what I've done, building my life from scratch while struggling against my parents and at the same time helping them with their lives, committing to a career and succeeding in my internship and studies, building strong and meaningful relationships, while a few years ago I was sitting in the toilet on the floor bleeding and wondering why no one would help me or at least acknowledge my suffering.
Sometimes I feel as if I'm living someone else's life. I told him this is why I fail to bathe in content for what I achieve. And he told me something interesting: yes, of course you're living someone else's life. It's the future you's life. It's the person you want to (and will) become's life.