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decided to move blogs! I will try to refollow my mutuals, but if I miss you or we're not mutuals but you would like to keep following me, please like or reply to this (or dm me)

#didn't want to do it this way but so many of my mutuals are from ages ago & are inactive #and i don't want to openly post my new url for personal reasons #my queue will keep posting for a little bit and i will check notes for this post but i do not intend to stay active here beyond that #it's been a good run though and i won't be deleting #i'm still fond of this old thing #regalia;

when i was 15 and in the months-long pits of my first acute episode everyone i saw refused to diagnose me with schizophrenia because i was "too young," but the same people were perfectly willing to prescribe me antipsychotics that had not been approved for minors. and to this day i do not have a clinical diagnosis

#like. not to sound psychotic or anything but i do not trust any of them anymore #regalia;#psychosis #i use that tag on my blog but... it is a symptom. i am completely certain that i do not fit the criteria of any other psychotic disorder #besides schizophrenia #but the number of bad experiences i have had & the number of dangerous ones i have barely avoided is so high that #i'm not willing to go through more of that just for... what? a line on my sheet that will further endanger me in the future?#extremely strong meds for something i've coped with alone for over 6 years?#even trying to talk to a regular therapist is so overwhelmingly awful that i won't do it anymore #mental health services are so inaccessible and even outright dangerous to people with stigmatized disorders #and if i say i refuse to endanger myself like that it just comes off as a symptom of my disorder instead of informed by actual trauma

i need to refill my queue but i'm pretty busy for the next couple weeks so it might take a while

#regalia;#my partner is visiting for a week and a half 🎉#and i have family stuff bracketing that whole visit & queuing takes a while bc i do it from my likes #'why don't you just queue from your dash' i don't like tagging the posts.........

fell into a pit of depression some three months ago and ever since then even looking at my thesis has made me want to drop out of college even though it's literally the only requirement i have left. i am sisyphus and my research is the fucking boulder

#regalia;#it's awful bc i really do care about my topic it's just like.#i want to delete it and forget it forever.

this semester looks even more busy than last; i might not have time to queue anything for a while

#regalia;

you can't tell me he isn't trans. it's not possible. i have eyes

#I'M TRANS SO I KNOW #regalia;#hxh #kurapika #hi all i do is look at character galleries on fandom wikis (and read anna karenina)#i'm on my phone or else i'd change the formatting....

m!byleth: standing normally f!byleth, apparently, knock-kneed wonder: who needs to 'balance' on their 'feet' when i can stand on my toes and pop my chest

#ik byleth's outfit differences have been talked to death but. what is this.#regalia;#everything i see about byleth miraculously makes me like them less and less

my queue isn’t full but it’ll last a while anyways,, sorry i have these periods where i go blank for a while i’m just busy

#regalia;#on another note i'm going back to the us for the holidays this week!#the france transport strikes are the real deal it's always honking and sirens

#regalia;

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