Baby Blackgaard
Chapter 2
"Edwin, I'm so glad you gave Mr. Shakespeare a few days off. After all, everyone needs a vacation sometimes.”
“Oooohhh, Mumzy, I’m a fair man. Far be it from me to overwork the fellow!”
Ronald Edwin Blackgaard felt on top of the world. The tall, angular man with black and white hair walked up the steps of his nephew’s front porch with a shorter woman with a wrinkled face and hair more white than black. With his mother to his right and his nephew and nieces inside the house, the middle aged actor had been in a good mood all day. He kept a watchful eye of the English countryside around him, straightened his silk tie and opened the front door for his elderly mother.
The house was small, modest and reminded Edwin of a woodland cottage. It held a finely decorated guest room with red walls, a full sized bed, and a small desk and vanity. Some might’ve viewed it as simple, but Yvette, its current resident, thought it suited her perfectly. Lara and Regis Blackgaard II (or ‘Reggie’ as he preferred) slept in a blue painted room with a couple of dressers, a closet, and a crème colored bed spread from Lara’s mother. Next to it was Nina’s bassinet, even though soon, she would be old enough to sleep by herself in a pink bedroom between her parents’ room and the laundry room. Completing the house was the washroom across the hall that everyone used. Meanwhile, Reggie was currently bent over in this laundry room, as he took clean clothes out of the dryer and placed wet clothes in their place.
Edwin put his head through the front door. He immediately searched for the reason why he was there in the first place: a tiny three week old girl in pink laying in her rocker was awake and shaking her little ringing kitty toy. Upon seeing her, he entered with a grand, clear voice.
“Hark, we have returned with provisions!”
He and mother Yvette were greeted by a young, brunette woman in a stained, oversized sweater and messy bun. “Oh good, j-just put the groceries in the counter. I’m still sanitizing these bottles,” she replied breathing in relief. Lara Blackgaard nee’ Le Roque rubbed her temples with one hand and put her baby’s clean bottles and nipples in a white basket with the other. “A-Actually, Uncle Edwin, please help Mother put them away.” Edwin had just placed the heavy bags on the counter as she stated her request. “Perhaps, I should’ve asked Shakespeare to come after all. He has such a talent for heavy lifting,” he mourned. Yvette giggled. “Oh come now, Eddie, darling, this kind of work is good for the muscles.”
“The muscles?” Edwin asked.
“The muscles?” Lara repeated.
“The muscles,” she confirmed. “Lara, has Nina had a bottle recently?” “Thirty minutes ago; the child eats like its her job.” “Lara, dear, it is her job,” Yvette said with a smile. “Oh…yeah…” “Any fussing?” “Well, she was most displeased during Skin-to-Skin, but a little shushing and rocking helped.” “Rocking typically does. Edwin simply loved being rocked when he was little.” “Mother…” Edwin groaned with a blush. To take his mind off the conversation, he looked over at his youngest niece. Once he’d finished the task he’d been given, he just had to slip away and over to her to pick her up. “Now, my little Titania,” he started. Though he didn’t always work well with children as an actor, Edwin took very well to Nina. “Did you have sweet dreams?” he asked as Nina mumbled. “Well of course you did! Now how does Mercutio’s monologue from Act 1 Scene 4 go again? Oh yes!” “Oh boy, here we go again,” Lara thought to herself.
“O, then, I see Queen Mab hath been with you. She is the fairies’ midwife, and she comes in shape no bigger than an agate-stone. On the fore-finger of an alderman drawn with a team of little atomies, athwart men’s noses as they lie asleep,” Edwin recited dramatically. Nina’s eyes were drawn to his vandyke beard, as he acted away.
“Her wagon-spokes made of long spinners’ legs, the cover of the wings of grasshoppers, the traces of the smallest spider’s web, thecollars of the moonshine’s watery beam-OW!” For the second time that day, the infant grabbed his vandyke beard and gave it a mild tug. Nina smiled from ear to ear and kicked her feet at her funny Uncle Eddie. “Oh, sweetie, don’t pull on him like that,” Yvette gently told her as she took her from Edwin. Nina remained restless until Yvette placed her in a big round pillow on the largest sofa in the living room and sat alongside her as she attempted to mumble some more.
“Is everything alright out there,” Reggie called from the laundry room. “We’re fine, love. Uncle Edwin was just quoting Romeo and Juliet,” Lara replied. “Another day in Paradise,” he said with a laugh. Reggie Blackgaard looked similar to his father and uncle. He was tall, lean, and even shared their forehead’s shape. His eyes, though dark like Regis and Edwin’s, were soft and lively like the latter’s. Like his mother however, his nose was small and his face was ovular, features his father noticed right away once he came along. He carried the basket over to the living room, and settled it right in front of the larger sofa. “Hello, pretty girl, you’re very alert today,” he said in a soft voice. As he sat down in front of the largest sofa, he peeked his head over her pillow and greeted the little baby as she looked at him. Without a care in the world, Nina practiced more of the funny sounds she’d been making with her mouth. Reggie gently wiped her drool from her lips, as his eyes gently traveled over to her musical toy. Her plush kitten rang as he looked at it and thought of his father. “He too got a cat from Grandmum, didn’t he?” he thought.
“Grandmum?” He asked aloud. “Yes, Reggie?” “When did my father say he’d be in again?” Edwin stopped rubbing his chin where Nina had tugged on him and looked away. “Later today, dear. Why?” Yvette asked. Lara stared at Edwin, the concern on his face appearing evident. “Umm, Uncle, did you say your flight was leaving tonight or this afternoon?” she asked. Edwin smiled at her. “Oh, tonight, but there are many things I need to get in town before I go. I shudder to think of what I might do if I don’t have…uh-water on the plane. Yes!” he insisted. “But, Eddie, love, don’t planes come with water prepared?” Yvette asked as Lara sat down to help Reggie fold laundry. “Y-Yes but there are other things of course.”
“Other things?” Reggie asked.
“Other things?” Lara asked.
“Other things,” Edwin confirmed
Yvette frowned. “Can’t you be here when Regis gets here? Just for a little while?” “Mumzy, you know how I feel about Regis,” Edwin pleaded. “I know, but I asked both of you to set things aside for the baby’s sake; at least for today.” “And yours, dear?“ Edwin asked bluntly. “Well…yes,” Yvette admitted. “Mother, Regis is positively fiendish. I’ve seen the way he conducts business and speaks to his employees. He’s not the man you think he is!” the actor complained. “Uncle Edwin is right, Grandmum,” Lara said. “And I don’t want his bad ideas to get into the baby’s head.” Yvette looked down and balled her hands into fists. “He’s not…always like that. He can be a good man,” she reasoned. “Even so, Grandmum, we can’t tolerate bad behavior, especially not around Nina,” Reggie said, as he looked over at her. He couldn’t help but smile at her.
No one heard the sounds of Italian loafers walking up the steps to the house and the tapping of a walking cane…
Yvette hummed. “My oldest is a…highly opinionated man, but…grandparents are an important part of a child’s life. I’m sure Regis will welcome her warmly…We could certainly give him a chance to hold her, and love her, can’t we?…Maybe…today won’t be so bad.”
No one heard the front door open either…
“Then, we must be VERY vigilant!” Edwin declared with bravado.
“Vigilant?” Reggie asked.
“Vigilant?” Yvette asked.
“Vigilant??” Lara returned.
“Right! I know Regis,” Edwin continued. “He’d would much sooner sell her to Archie Haggler’s Carnival if the right price could be arranged!” Lara’s anxiety rose as she took the baby into her arms. “Oh, Uncle, don’t say things like that,” she pleaded.
“I mean really, Edwin. Give me some credit.”
Everyone whipped around and there standing in the front doorway was Dr. Regis Blackgaard himself. The middle aged gentleman stood there in his long coat, three-piece suit, and a cat-sized carrying case in one hand. In the other hand was his long, black walking cane, complete with a gold knob on top. The warmth of Reggie Blackgaard’s English cottage was lost amid the worry in Lara, and the sense of dread in Edwin. The former stiffened herself, to rid herself of any slouching. Edwin could practically feel his mood change from cozy and content to apprehensive and paranoid. “Far be it from me to be so barbaric towards my family,” he said with a grin.
Yvette was the first to step forward.
“Regis,” she said, embracing him. Dr. Blackgaard, though usually resistant to intimate touch, tolerated her kissing him and holding his face in her hands. “Are you alright? You’re not tired, are you?” Regis kept a civil tone. “Mother, please, I’m fine. I’m always fine when I see you,” he said. Edwin resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and perhaps hide while he still could. “I see your hip is functioning well,” the doctor said, curving an eyebrow. “Yes, dear, it is,” Yvette replied, albeit rather awkwardly. “Um…Edwin-Edwin! Come here!”
Edwin nibbled his lip, as Lara and Reggie coupled together. “Lara, give me Nina. We can finish the basket later,” the young man whispered. “Good idea,” she replied. “Oh, Edwin, don’t be so shy. Come and say ‘hello’,” Regis requested in an oily tone. He quickly caught Lara as she slipped behind Yvette and Edwin. Once Lara hurried into her bedroom and put the basket on the bed, she took a breath. Just being in the same room as her father-in-law was enough to shake her, she realized…
“Ah, both of my boys under one roof,” Yvette mused as she looked at Edwin and Regis with love. “My heart is happy…Oh, I MUST get a photo!” “M-Mother, I-“ Edwin stammered. “Here! Let me help you,” he said, as he quickly stepped away from his brother. Regis could sense how determined he was to leave his side. He couldn’t help but feel amused. “A scenery-chewing ham and a coward,” he thought. No matter, he figured. His brother’s temporary leave gave him a chance to look ahead of him.
The first thing he saw was her.
“So,” he began, as he started a little trek over to her and her father. “Where is this granddaughter, I’ve heard so much about?” he asked, as if he couldn’t already see her. Every few seconds, Edwin took a quick glance at the three Blackgaards, just in case. Lara also kept a close eye as she made her way back to the living room. “Um, sir, th-this is-“
“Our daughter, Nina Marie,” Reggie finished for her as she trembled. “Say ‘hello’ to your grandfather, Nina. Isn’t she beautiful, Father?” He asked nervously.
Grandfather and granddaughter studied each other for what felt like an eternity. Regis seemed to analyze her, as if trying to find some kind of flaw. And then they were there again…those feelings he had; the fondness he felt when he first saw her picture. Nina recognized his vandyke beard and held out her arms. She beamed from ear to ear as she waited for him to pick her up. Edwin and Yvette were just returning as he placed his cane and mewling carrying case at the side and took her in his arms.
Edwin’s heart rate increased. His eyes hurried to the front door and returned to the unlikely pair. Back and forth, back and forth, they traveled as he watched Nina wriggle around in his arms. Without warning, Yvette held up her camera. “Oh this is just perfect! Smile!!” she replied and she clicked the camera. Regis blinked at the flash. “Mother, good grief!” He barked at her. His sudden, sharp tone startled Nina, who noticed Edwin standing to the side.
“Eh??” she squeaked. She looked to her right at Edwin, and then to the left at Regis; then back and forth again. The poor baby moaned in confusion. “Oh, poor thing, she must think she’s seeing two Edwins!” Yvette said. Regis wrinkled his nose. “Two Edwins, what a thought,” he laughed. Edwin glared at him.
“Regis, be nice to your brother,” Yvette replied, as she looked back at Nina. “Grandfather sure is funny, isn’t he, baby?” she asked cheerfully. Regis curved an eyebrow at her. “And you’re just the smartest little girl!” she continued. Nina didn’t fuss for long however. There was still the matter of Regis’s own vandyke beard. The baby reached for it, only for the doctor to take her hand before contact. Yvette noticed that he didn’t even have to look to catch it. Nevertheless, she tried to maneuver her hand out of his, but couldn’t.
“Rethink that move, Little One,” he finally said in a firm voice. Nina stopped and blinked. Uncle Eddie was loud, dramatic, and amusing to her. This one was serious and maybe a little scary. Reggie and Lara’s muscles tightened as they stared deep into each other. Edwin covered his mouth with his hand in fear. The silence was terrible until the small girl broke it herself
“Ppbt,” she mustered. Regis pulled his head back a little as she stuck her little tongue out for all to see. Edwin looked away and stifled his giggles. Lara and Reggie huddled together, expecting the worst, while Regis shot a deadly look at his brother. The actor’s face fell.
“Precious little thing, isn’t she?” Regis managed to say with a strained smile and a displeasure in his eyes.
…
In time, Sasha had been allowed out of her carrying case to stretch her legs. One of the first things she did was leap up onto the largest sofa and look over at the little, pink creature laying in her pillow. The baby smiled as her whiskers tickled her cheek as she sniffed her. Sasha’s ears twitched at the smell of lavender-laced baby soap, rather than the cologne she had associated with her owner. Lara sat on the opposite end, looking cautiously at the kitten. “Don’t swipe…no, no, don’t swipe at her,” she’d say as Sasha attempted to shoot her paw out at Nina. The infant didn’t seem to mind, as the cat looked like her ringing plush.
Edwin stayed clear of the creature, as he and Reggie sat at the table together, in their respective bundles of nerves. Reggie’s leg bounced up and down, as his cup of tea sat in his hands. He’d barely sipped an ounce of it. “I wonder what’s going on in there. They’ve been talking for ten minutes,” he mused. “No doubt, he’s probably lecturing her about something. He’s always been too hard on Mumzy,” Edwin replied. “Not so loud, Edwin! He’ll hear you,” Lara warned softly. “Oh, I know it,” the young man said.
The closed door of the guest room stood still as two voices muffled along the walls. On the other side stood Regis, towering over his wrinkled mother, while she kept herself poised with low, humble shoulders. “I understand, son, but I’m trying as hard as I can. At least I’ve got some of it paid off,” she said. “Oh I know, Mumzy, I know. But I also know how forgetful you can be, and I’d hate for it to slip your mind,” Regis replied in a overly pleasant tone. “Besides, my associates and myself have great plans for the future, and I can’t keep putting money down for your health problems, my dear.” “It is a symptom of aging, Regis. Problems like these can come up, you know,” she tried to reason. “I am sorry about your problems, Mother, but they are. Your. Problems.” His tone was hardening, and Yvette lowered her head a little further. “But-“ "Mother-" Regis interrupted, as he curved an eyebrow at her. "When Edwin and I were boys, was it not you who taught us to honor our commitments? Was it not you who taught us responsibility? If I were you, I'd work as quickly as I could to pay back my benefactor. I've given you ample time to earn the funds and pay me back. Do we understand each other?" He practically hovered over the old woman, who stood there clutching her long skirts. The smile he gave her seemed pleasant enough, but the shadow he appeared to cast over her filled her with a familiar sense of distress. The distress that she felt as he threw temper tantrums as a small boy, talked her into rash decisions, and offered her far too good propositions that always came with a catch, sprang abundantly in her. Nevertheless, she took a breath. "Of course, Regis; I will work harder and more quickly..." Regis swept her hair from her face. "Thank you, Mother. I'm glad we understand each other..."
“Yes…” Yvette looked away for a moment. “Regis…might I…ask you a question?“
“What is it?” he asked, almost annoyed. Yvette swallowed a lump in her throat.
“…Edwin’s not going to be able to come with us to church in the morning. Would you…I mean, if you’re not too busy-“ She froze, suddenly feeling tongue-tied. “Th-The one we’re going to is warm and healthy. And-And you, me, and Edwin haven’t been together as a family since you two left for college. And Lara and Reggie have already scheduled Nina’s Baby Dedication. There are few memories more precious than getting to go to church with your grandparents. Please, son, go with little Nina. It’ll be a treasured memory in our family. Please…,” Yvette almost begged. Regis turned away and rubbed his temple. Then a thought occurred to him. “I suppose it was Lara’s idea? To schedule a…how did you put it?”
“A Baby Dedication; it’s when parents promise to raise their children in The Ways of The Lord. I dedicated you and Edwin and Nora when her time came…of course you were all too little to remember.”
Regis was silent for a moment.
“Ah, yes…Well, Mother, I’m afraid I won’t go. I’m on a tightly booked schedule. And you spend so much time there already. I certainly hope you’re not letting it take up too much of it…There are other responsibilities, you know. I believe we spoke of one of them just now…” he said very matter-of-factly.
“But, son, church doesn’t take up too much time. And I know you…very firmly left the faith a long time ago, but…for old time’s sake, I wish you’d come with me and the family,” she replied earnestly.
“‘Left’? Is that how you remember it?” Blackgaard asked her plainly. “I don’t think I was ever truly in it to begin with…I’ve had no interest in it, not for a long time.“ His tone lowered and darkened. “And quite frankly, I don’t appreciate my family’s attempts to fill my granddaughter’s head with the same clutter you filled me and my brother with. I can’t blame Edwin for expressing doubt himself once we left Secondary School. I would prefer you not ask me again. Understand?”
Yvette’s face fell as she observed her son’s lecture, unable to recall the last time she’d seen any true warmth in his voice. “…I will not force you to go, Regis. You and Edwin are grown men…but…if you change your-“ Regis curved an eyebrow at her.
She said nothing more.
…
Yvette had long been allowed to sit down in a chair in the kitchen, and think, once it was Reggie and Lara’s turn to be talked to by Regis.
“And that’s all that happened…” Yvette whispered to Edwin. “I see,” he replied in a forlorn tone. The actor looked at his Mother with great pity. Though he didn’t really know what to believe as far as faith and church were concerned, he certainly had no issue with those who participated in such things. It’s a shame, he thought, that he couldn’t say the same for Regis…
“Edwin, didn’t you want to leave to take care of a few things?” Yvette whispered, sounding a little down. Edwin debated it in his mind. “…No. My flight doesn’t depart for several hours.” He felt a sickly feeling in his stomach as he heard brief snippets of Lara and Reggie trying to speak to the doctor. “I…” he started again, silently cursing himself for even thinking about leaving his family alone with him. He shook his head subtly. “No,” he thought. To leave now would be unforgivable, to him anyway.
Lara and Reggie stood still in the living room, while Regis paced about. Sasha followed him around while occasionally tapping at his shoes.
“I mean really, Lara,” Regis began. Lara fixed her posture. “Yes, sir?” she asked, unable to recall any time she’d called him anything else. “I really wish you’d told me before scheduling this…’Baby Dedication’, yes?”
“Yes, sir,” she repeated.
“Yes…children have too much order in their lives already. In four years, my little Nina will be in school. And no doubt she’ll have plenty to do at…home already,” he continued, as he looked over at a drying laundry line outside. “Must you give her even more work to do with all this ‘church’ business? All it’ll do is keep her from more important things; Her studies, her future, things of that nature.”
Reggie’s eyebrows furrowed. “Father, I’m sorry you disagree, but as her parents, we will raise her, as we see fit. And she’ll still have time for all sorts of other things!”
“You’re starting to sound like Mother,” Dr. Blackgaard said to his son. He stood there in thoughtful silence. “…The old ways of thinking that they teach are a hindrance in our modern world. They speak of loving your enemies and putting others before themselves. Today’s world doesn’t work that way. If you want anything here, you can’t afford to waste time thinking so often of those who don’t understand you…and that’s on a good day. I’ve encountered enough enemies to know what they could and couldn’t do on a bad one. Nina-all of you in fact-would be much more free operating by your own rules, your own boundaries. I have done as much, and I’m on the brink of a grand breakthrough, that’ll likely change the world,” he rose his hand in the air in insistence on his point. “But if you insist on committing to this set of morals, don’t be surprised when it leaves you with nothing but disappointment.”
Reggie was silent. So was Lara. The latter looked at the former, and swallowed a lump in her throat. “Sir,” she managed to say with a sliver of courage. “I know we don’t see eye-to-eye on certain things, but…we’re doing what we believe is right. And-And we have hope in The Lord, and He loves us and…”-Dr. Blackgaard’s agitated face spoke volumes-“…you too, sir.” The silence was deafening. Dr. Blackgaard looked away.
“My dear, if you knew half of the things I’ve done, you’d know that isn’t true. Besides…” The man suddenly smiled, but just barely. “At this point in my life, I’ve never felt freer.” Lara shrank as her anxiety rose. His piercing eyes filled her with terror, and once again, without thinking, she spoke. “I understand…” Reggie stepped up from behind and took her shoulders into his hands, trying hard not to scowl at Dr. Blackgaard. His father stepped away.
The moment was broken from Nina’s pitiful cries coming from the kitchen. “Lara, my dear, why don’t you go see what Nina needs? I’d like a moment alone with Regis.” As soon as Lara left the kitchen, Dr. Blackgaard put a hand in Reggie’s shoulder. “Your wife is certainly amusing. She’s usually so fragile in my presence. It’s just a shame she’s roped you into her way of thinking.”
Reggie’s lip curled in frustration. “I saw it…that smile, and that tone? Was that really necessary?” He asked in disdain. Dr. Blackgaard hummed. “Can’t you see she’s afraid of you? Look, you don’t have to agree with us, but your intimidating her is not going to bode well with me. And I’d prefer it if you stopped it,” Reggie insisted.
“You can’t blame me, Regis,” Dr. Blackgaard replied. “I only want what’s best for the family.” Reggie glowered at him. “…Sometimes, I wonder. Aunt Nora didn’t seem to think so...” In a momentary fit of anger, the doctor took his shoulder. “You listen well, boy. I don’t want to hear any more disrespect coming out of you, do you hear? I’ve never tolerated it, and that won’t change anytime soon. And if I were you, I’d advise your wife to mind her words. I will not be spoken to like some wandering soul, looking for meaning. I found that on my own, and I don’t need help from her.”
“Even so, she’s the mother of your grandchild-“
“Don’t argue, Regis. I taught you better than that. And as for the child, I hope you don’t start adopting such an unruly tone with me in front of her. Is that clear?”
Reggie was silent.
“Is…that clear?” The doctor said.
“…it’s clear.”
“Good…Now, have you been investigating the organizations I sent you?”
“…Yes…each of them have their own agendas and locations. The one in Geneva-the Red Scorpion-seems to be the most promising.”
“Ah, yes, I’ve heard of them.”
“Their ambitions are global. If you insist on rubbing elbows with any of these groups, they would be likely be the most beneficial to you…Their leader, Mustafa Asghar, is-I’m told-cold and calculating; reaching him won’t be easy.”
Dr. Blackgaard smiled. “You worry too much, son.….I expect a full report on Red Scorpion on Monday, first thing. Fax it to our location in Chicago, and I’ll handle the rest.”
“Yes, Father…”
“Oh and Regis?”
“Yes?“
The doctor smirked at the young man, who felt a chill run down his spine. “You’ve had such a moral turn-around in recent years…you won’t let this deter you from our…special project, will you?”
“…No, sir. It won’t.”
“Excellent.”
Nina sneezed from the living room. “Well, I’m not going to keep the poor girl waiting any longer. I simply must go check on my little treasure. Ta!” Dr. Blackgaard left the room with a stride that infuriated his own son…
…
Nina reminded Dr. Blackgaard of Sasha. As the kitten stepped carefully onto his lap, the baby rested on the side of his chest. His low tones and warm touch, plus the mild sucking of her pacifier lulled her to sleep. She couldn’t even begin to comprehend her grandfather’s lectures. All she cared about was how comfortable she was in Grandpa’s arms. Sasha tried to reach for her feet, which were so small, they barely fit into her onesie’s footies. As Sasha often did with his anger, Dr. Blackgaard found himself feeling calm as he held the helpless little infant. He checked his watch and scooped Sasha into his hand, as he stood up.
“I’m afraid I must be off. I’m expecting another report from an old friend of mine in America. Someone take her,” he finally said. In a state of relief, Edwin quickly fetched her from him, partially afraid he’d change his mind and steal her away. “And speaking of reports, I expect to see yours on Monday morning. Understand?” Regis asked his son.
“Yes,” Reggie replied rather curtly. Edwin observed his brother cautiously as he called for Sasha. The kitten was eased into her carrying case, which Dr. Blackgaard zipped up carefully before picking it up. “And another thing, all of you think about what I said, especially you two,” he said, shooting a glance at Lara and Reggie. Lara rubbed her neck nervously.
“Mother,” he said as Yvette kissed him one more time. “Edwin,” he said as the actor kept a sharp eye on him. Regis looked down at the baby. He held her little chin in his hand and studied her one last time.
“Good show.”
Then he left.
As he walked along the drive way to his shining car, Edwin warily stepped towards the windows at the front of the cottage. He stared until Regis had driven away and was out of sight.
“He’s gone!”
“Oh thank God!” Reggie cried as he and Lara plopped onto the sofa. Yvette said nothing. She only stood there and sighed. “Oh Lord,” she thought. “Rescue my son, and forgive him…and me too.”
…
Note: Nina’s a simple baby with simple pleasures. If she sees a Blackgaard Beard, she tugs it! Also, pardon me while I input a headcanon of mine, in which Edwin is agnostic at this point in the Blackgaard Chronicles. He’s not sure about God or His existence at the moment. But he’s cool with those who do believe in Him.