#regrage

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i am about five seconds from RIPPING MY JAW OFF MY FACE OH MY GOD IT HURTS

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Hey, Doctor Who, look, I know you're a science fiction show and you do science fictiony things and sometimes that means you do things that our science says is impossible and that's okay but just so you know if you can't get oxygen to your brain, as in you're dead or drowning or otherwise incapable of breathing, you're not going to get up again just fine.

In fact:

3 minutes without oxygen leaves you with mild/moderate brain damage.

4 to 5 and you might be lucky if you can stand.

6 minutes or more and you're completely and utterly fucked.

Could you at least handwave this with something like "oh when we restart everyone's hearts, we'll send out some kind of brain tissue reconstructive signal too" it wouldn't be that hard.

[skiesovergideon]

reg: from 0 to hulk in approximately -50 seconds

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I AM FULL OF RAGE :|

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE

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FUCKING HELL

No, I don't want to have lunch with you. I'm glad you're doing well, it's nice you're in town. But I am nothaving lunch with you because all you want is the reminder that I am not my sister and FUCK YOU I THINK THAT EVERY TIME I LOOK IN A MIRROR.

No one knows that better than me.

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i sometimes wonder if people pay any attention to the things that come out of their mouths. i sometimes wonder why it is not socially acceptable to punch these people in the face.

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Today on Reg's Adventures in Fuck You Get out of My Lane:

I can't even guess what goes on in people's heads.

Event the first: I was alone in my lane, which was surprising considering how many people where at the pool. But I chugged along, doing my warm up, content. Until I hit the wall and started my flipturn. There was a burst of bubbles and a splooshing noise and halfway through my turn I let out the biggest "oh fucking hell" sigh ever. Popping up from my turn, right against the wall, I found myself looking at two boys. Splashing water at each other and giggling (and they couldn't have been more than seven). I wanted to be nice. For god's sake they're kids. But I just snapped. I pointed at the lifeguard and said, pretty loud, "Get these kids out of my lane right now. :|"

The kids were moved.

I was content again. Except that, you know, it's 105 degrees and the water is probably around 85 and the humidity is so high that it's hard to breathe so I'm crabby. But I'm swimming.

I hit the wall, done with my first build-up set, and this lady arrives seconds behind me. So I'm like "cool, okay, we're sharing," and I started to say "Hey, let's split the lane!" but she just trundled on. Fabulous. Someone who doesn't know what she's doing. But I can handle that. Except there was another dude at the other end of the pool and a fourth dude (who knew what was up) about to get in. So me and SwimDude are like "fuck our lives what is this" but were both prepared to be good sports.

Until I got to the other end of the pool. The guy, who had done a few laps at this point (maybe two :|) was vegging in the corner by the stairs. The woman (I think she might have been his wife I don't even know) was hanging onto the gutter idly kicking her feet.

And I pretty nearly lost it. I stopped, looked at the lifeguard, and said "This is not okay." The two people were surprised at this and started to defend themselves, and I cut them off with, "Look. I don't care if you're in this lane and swimming. I don't care if you're fast or slow. You can be in this lane if and only if you are swimming laps. As you are not swimming laps, please move so that me and SwimDude over here can." And the lady got her back up going on about how she's a paying member and blah blah and the lifeguard went "No, you really need to get out."

BUT THAT WASN'T ALL. Not five minutes later, some kid with fins (let me tell you how much I fucking hate kids with fins in my pool they're usually douchebags who want to race you and kick your goggles off your face) jumped in, cutting off SwimDude and eventually slowing me up. SwimDude and I are like "DSLFKJSDFKLJF" but quietly to each other. When I finally get to the other end of the pool, FinKid is sitting IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LANE ON THE GUTTER with his mother STANDING IN FRONT OF HIM and I just stopped and went "Wow, thank you so much for impeding my ability to do a flip turn could you please tell your child how awesome he is in the body of the pool?"

And it was mean and rude and I know that BUT OH MY GOD HOW HARD IS IT TO STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE LAP LANE? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

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One day I actually WILL turn into an uncontrollable, green rage monster