Description: Remus is an age and pet regressor, but because of his intrusive thoughts, icky things commonly fill his head and make him think he's not a regressor.
In this, Janus aka his Moddy ends up slowly helping the smol away from the intrusive thoughts.
Not exactly a series in order but I will be doing more with this same concept.
Janus is a wonderful enby with
vitiligo that uses they/them
This stuff doesn't come up really but I
Tw: mentions of k!nk things, intrusive thoughts, impure regression
Thoughts that held themselves like a dark gooey slime squirmed all throughout his head. Squishy squishy squishy icky thoughts. Black tar that covered and stuck to everything he did. All his movements, all his thoughts, every breath that left his lips. 'Lips that he could be using to-' no no no no! The green haired boy covered his ears. As if that would stop the rampant icky thoughts and ideas that ran through his head. Even though it wouldn't logically, it was all the little Duke could think about doing. Even if this had happened over and over when he had regressed. Whether that was involuntary or voluntary, nine times out of ten his intrusive thoughts would get increasingly louder and more on the adult icky side.
He didn't mind thoughts about blood or gore, that was just simple things. Those things just didn't bother him usually, even when he regressed. More dramatically violent thoughts for some reason just didn't seem so destructive to his mental state. It didn't haunt him or tear him apart like the gooey thoughts. The black icky darkness that he always had a hard time escaping. He had gotten quite sick before due to the thoughts filling his brain. Or even sometimes pushing him out of regression so he could do other icky things.
A sob escaped his mouth as he started to pull at his green and silver hair. As if yanking on it would pull away the icky sort of thoughts out. What if he was faking being a regressor? What if he wasn't a regressor and..and he was one of those icky kinds of littles? What if, that's what he was doing! He didn't like these thoughts...but but if he was having these kind of thoughts then that must be it! That must be-
"Remus?" A voice spoke from the entrance of his bedroom doorway. A figure dressed in what can be described as a casual Gothic ouji look stood at the door. Having easily been able to pick up on the crying from the other room. Either someone had stubbed their toe, which they totally wouldn't have laughed at them for, or something had happened to a regressed Remus. Re regressing alone was usually a recipe for disaster for multiple reasons. Sometimes it was a plotting smol causing chaos. A tiny octo tearing up something that he wasn't supposed to. Or in this case, overwhelming unwanted thoughts.
The smol one in question quickly started to rub his eyes of all the tears that were blurring his vision. His knees brought up to his chest as he had stuffed himself in the corner of his bedroom. Hoping he would have been able to make himself tiny and hide from these icky thoughts. But it seemed that the thoughts were too good at hide and seek and found him everytime he tried to hide! "I-tried to h-hide cause cause. Hnng im just Icky!" Remus tried to explain before he ended up in even more tears from before.
"You are not icky my little Morningstar." Janus was quick but soft to assure the crying baby. Their 'carer mode' quickly kicking in at seeing the small one cry over his own thoughts. Gently but quickly moving over to the regressed one on the floor. Not wanting to add to the overwhelming feeling Remus was feeling, but knowing he needed to be close enough to the smol to help them.
"Those thoughts in your head do not make you icky. Moddy knows that it isn't fun at all to have all those things in your head, but that doesn't make you icky." They kept their voice soft and steady as they spoke. Carefully holding out gloved hands for the other to take if he wanted to.
"F-feels icky icky icky." Remus sniffled trying to look up at the big person without tears blocking his vision. "Don't don't wanna be icky! I'm already icky when not a baby! I don't wanna be icky baby too!" His emotions shifted between self anger, fear, and sadness. He was scared of all these thoughts he felt in his head. Sad that his smolspace was tainted by icky things and emotions he couldn't control. Angry at himself and the universe for not letting him have something that wasn't icky.
"Baby you are not always icky, you're just very open and extra." Janus did agree that Remus tended to be rather talkative about that sort of stuff when he was in his big headspace, but they didn't consider it any different from his brother going on and on about romantic things. That and saying anything about the other being icky right now wouldn't help the situation right now.
The smol one gently reached out with one of his hands to touch the soft gloves that Jan always wore. Feeling the comforting texture that he liked to feel. It was smooth and soft against his hand, not a texture he touched the most often but still one that he really liked. It usually meant he was safe and things would be okay. It's a texture he associated with moddy a lot since they always wore gloves. Touching things with their actual hands could become too much for them a lot of the time. So a lot of the time they wore gloves over their hands to keep them away from touching anything bad.
"Is there anything Moddy can do to help their very not icky Morningstar?" Janus asked as Remus started to get more and more distracted by feeling their gloves, textures always seemed to be an easy place to start getting them away from unwanted sort of thoughts. Textures simply had a way of conveying messages and feelings that words couldn't. Of course unwanted textures weren't good to feel, but figuring out textures that the little ones liked wasn't too hard to figure out after a while. This baby certainly liked the material their gloves were made of.
"Would you like moddy to hold you?" That question seemed to pull Remus out of feeling the fabric of the gloves, instantly making grabby hands up at Janus with wide eyes. It was as if the other had said some sort of magic sentence. Like when you asked a dog if they wanted to go on walkies. Which is something that happened commonly when Roman happened to be in animal space. Unless you wanted him to have zoomies inside. Which rarely ended well.
Janus couldn't help but chuckle softly at the small baby demanding uppies with an adorable little bounce. "Well how can I say no to such an adorable and valid baby boy, hm?" Carefully picking up the little one in their arms. Not wanting to accidentally drop him, in moments they were rather thankful that Remus was relatively short and small compared to them. Otherwise he wasn't sure he would be able to pick the other up.
Remus gave a happy giggle as he was picked up, grabbing onto moddy's caplet once he was picked up. This was another texture he really liked to feel. Moddy really had the best touchy feely stuff. It made his fingers feel nice and happy! Like they were dancing to a really awesome song! "Touchy touchy touch touch!" He made another happy giggle as moddy messed around with his hair the way he liked. And...liking his hair being played with was okay! It wasn't icky! "No icky icky." He smiled proudly at being able to say it wasn't icky without anyone else having to say it. Usually he needed help but this time he did it himself!
"Thats very very true baby, not icky at all. Very good little one." Janus said with a smile at the regressed baby in their arms coming to the conclusion by himself. There was still a long way to go before Remus was fully able to get through the intrusive thoughts, but every pinch of progress was a success. It was slow yes, but that was okay. It was much better than the other being stuck in these thoughts or stuck in the horrible things of the past. "I'm very proud of you, now how about we go watch some cartoons in moddy's room?"
"Mhm mhm mhm! Wanna watch the one with the monsters at the school!"
"Oh really? Well I think that sounds like a plan then."
