#regrethisfuture

[newcontinent]

bought a new outfit today on a whim

[disengaged]

la vie lente 💕 he/him

[awsugar]

regrethisfuture replied to your photo

@greasybreadsticks what about every time frank has said hes straight tho? lmfao? your arms must hurt real bad

hi! just curious you wanna give me literally any single receipt of frank saying the words 'i'm straight'? thanks xx

[kldslnthedark]

coffee shop soundtrack

So this song’s meaning has actually been pretty much agreed upon (and confirmed, I’m pretty sure, by Alex himself) that it’s about Alex’s affair with an older woman. They would meet at coffee shops, hence the title. But let’s get into the lyrics specifically. (under the cut!)

“Don’t get me wrong, I know you’ve got your life in place, I’ve yet to take the hint. Someday I’m sure I’ll get the picture and stop waiting up.” Alex knows about her life outside of him, I’m pretty sure she was married and had a job and all that. I suspect that maybe he wanted more from her but knew that it was never going to happen and would settle for what he was getting.

“When it all comes down to a sunrise on the East Side, will you be there to carry home the remains of my wasted youth? This wasted time on you has left me shaking in waiting for something more.” This is obviously Alex admitting to the situation and to exactly how wrong it was. I get somewhat of a taunting kind of vibe to it, like he is purposely dangling his youth in her face and calling her out, but also calling himself no better because he is getting what he wants from the relationship, just like her. He’s lost the child-like naivety of wanting something to last with this woman and is now using her like she’s used him.

“I’ve yet to break a sweat, I’ll make your past regret its future. Here’s to you.” Idk about you guys, but I sense hostility here. This lyric has always stood out to me, mostly because I really admire how put together that line is. I mean, c’mon, I’ll make your past regret its future? That’s some heavy crap right there. I don’t really know how to interpret it, not well at least. I’d take it as some sort of bitterness? Like, “you want this and I bet you never thought you’d see yourself wanting this. I’m just something you’ll regret ever enjoying.” 

“Make all of my decisions for me, I’ve never taken the fall for deceit. We’ll keep a secret if you keep me guessing, the taste of your lips says we shouldn’t have met like this.” Again, he’s dangling his youth in front her. He knows that no matter how this ends, he’ll never see the fault for it and that it’ll all come crashing down on her, the adult. The adult with the big life and things to lose. Everything they’re doing has to be calculated by her and he’s accepting being told how to act around her because he just wants to know what will happen next. He probably wishes things were different because he does feel himself loving how this is making him feel. 

“The flavor of your lips is enough to keep me pressing for more than just a moment of truth between the lies told to pull ourselves away from the lives we leave back.” This is bringing excitement to both their lives. This little secret of theirs and no one else’s, a double life just for them. The rush, the feelings, the getaway from that gnawing of desire for something more; that’s what makes the risk so worth it. Makes the wrongness and the tightening in his stomach that lets him know what he’s doing could lead to so much shit worth it. 

The flavor of your lips is enough to keep me here. 

Overall, I think this song is kind of an acceptance of what happened and how Alex knew what he was doing was bad, but just didn’t care, or ignored caring because the sex was good and the thrill was fun. Do I sense some underlying feelings in the beginning? Yes. Do I think those feelings morphed into something more corrupted and hardened to just using each other for whatever they desired? Also yes. And do I think a lot of this song is inspired by loss of innocence and that maybe this was something that had sped Alex’s process of growing up, resulting in some bitterness at losing time just being a kid to the stress of this relationship (that I also think was just based on using each other)? You bet. 

[qcrip]

Candy King

Photos by Oscar Alexander [ facebook | instagram ]

( he / him )

[image caption: 6 photos of me, a nonbinary indian wheelchair user with blue pink and white short curly hair wearing a black bodysuit with a rainbow drip print, black and white wedges, a candy bracelet and blue lipstick. In the first two i am also wearing a black fluffy jacket (1) me holding a lollipop near my mouth (2) me holding a rainbow candy strip in my mouth with others around me (3) close up of me biting a red gumball (4) me biting a ball of cotton candy (5) me holding blue tulle close to my face and looking at the camera (6) me wearing a black hat and surrounded by blue tulle]

[newcontinent]

shout out to my friends for two of my favourite photos of me ever taken. (also spot that sticker? please make sure to vote the tories out guys)

[image desc: two photos of me, a white trans man with a blue, pink, and white mohawk, a nose ring, and blue, yellow, and pink glitter around my eyes, wearing a pastel rainbow striped mesh shirt, turquoise shorts, fishnet tights, floral print docs, and a sleeveless denim jacket with patches on it. in (1) i am carrying a stonewall tote bag and leaning my head down to show the colours of my hair. in (2) i am wearing a purple sweater under my jacket and i am in front of a rainbow flag. there is a sticker on my jacket reading "Vote Labour"]

[newcontinent]

hi welcome to chilis (or, best zack pics of summer 2k17)

[newcontinent]

feb 2016 -> apr 2016 -> jun/jul 2017

i won’t forget the good times 💕