#reiiids.

[trueblu3-a]

SENDER REACHES FORWARD TO BRUSH A STRAND OF RECEIVER'S HAIR FROM THEIR EYES.

you're so focused on your notes written before you:   a case you've poured your whole self into   (   you've only been back for two cases   &   already one has seeped into your chest;   you must constantly remind yourself that you did pass the psych evaluation,   you did or you wouldn't be here...   yet you're still worried you're back too soon   ).   the world around you disappears,   piecing together the missing details in an act of desperation to paint a clear picture.   if you can't do it,   then what happens to the next woman?   the one who's only got,   what,   20 hours left?

the voice in your head is warning you:   don't push yourself over the ledge,   breathe,   listen to your team with the same desperation that you're listening to your fears.   (   a hair falls in your face,   you blow it back with pursed lips,   it falls again   ).   " fuck. "   there's no active effort on your side,   your fingers frozen on the yellow notepad instead of moving to push the strands from your eyes   &   back behind your ear.

it's starting to swallow you whole again,   &   you're letting it   (   you shake your head to move the hair away,   it falls right back   ).   " my god. "

the next thing you know,   a hand is in your gaze,   you jump:   a shock through your system.   chin snaps up   &   brown eyes go wide.   @reiiids stands before you,   his slender fingers paused at your hairline for a moment,   waiting for your non verbal permission.   nothing spills from your parted lips,   pulled back so quickly to the world around you that you don't know what to do.   his motion resumes,   gently   &   carefully tucking the brown curl back behind your ear.   " thank you. "   you feel like a human again   &   gently smile.   " i think i need a break. "

[h0bbs-a]

" IN GENERAL,   IT'S BETTER TO LISTEN THAN TO SPEAK. "

if there is one thing you know to be true:   it is the words coming from @reiiids mouth.   you had learned,   years ago after your father...   that to listen,   to see,   to observe,   was the best thing you could do for yourself.   in theory:   you have lived three lives,   maybe four if you cut down to the details of who you've been,   or who you're trying to be.   in each of these lives,   lied different stakes,   different games you had to play to try   &   fit into each role that was designated for you   (   not by you   ).   " of course. "   those lessons gave you something you hold dearly,   something your new coworkers admire without question   (   you could not answer where you learned such good listening skills,   such great observations   &   the ability to pick apart any case   &   build the profile back up with little 'experience' before now   ).   " isn't that the whole point of our job? "   a brow raises,   teasing,   as if his point were obvious.   " imagine how little we'd get done if we just talked over everyone all the time. "