// trigger warnings: eating disorders, self harm, relapse, emetophobia. //
meh now that i come to think of it i feel played and embarrassed over how triggered i felt to the point of relapsing into self harm, and thus how much i overreacted, when that video of vilde vomitting was released, and i haven’t even seen the video.
just there mere fact that i, along with others, instantly connected vilde making herself throw up to her eating disorder, and thus, feeling triggered after that, just goes to show how deeply harrowing something like that can be. that in our minds, we connectes both of those things together straight away, and the caption of that video only amplified that connection.
only to then have it be thrown back in our face with a “woops lol sorry it was just a video of vilde throwing up bc she was drunk at some party last week” … like???
lmao i can’t tell you how embarrassed and humiliated i felt for thinking that perhaps vilde had relapsed and that i was on my way to relapsing, almost as though skam was laughing in my face for thinking all those things like “haha! you thought!!! haha! overreacting like always!!!” … like, that really wasn’t a joke? eating disorders are not a joke. feeling triggered and relapsing and self harming is not a joke.
wow, man … wow. julie andem, wow. i really did play myself. you almost, almost, got me there! a pathetic lil sorry for the sake of drama doesn’t quite undo how i felt though.