#self harm*

[ofalsehoods]

lotor, scars & altean regeneration.

i mentioned in a previous post that i hc alteans with significant regenerative abilities aka they can literally heal from almost anything short of cutting off their head or getting stabbed simultaneously in both their hearts. i’m gonna elaborate a little more on how this affects lotor.

lotor did have significant altean regeneration prior to his exile. however, it was not as strong as a full altean’s regenerative ability in one aspect. most alteans who have seen significant combat are scarless due to their complete regeneration ability. when lotor regenerates, however, there is usually a sign somewhere on his body that he has sustained a wound there.

for example, he has had both of his arms cut off and regrown (and for which alteans have designed temporary prosthetics), and there are jagged circles tracing around where the wound took place; moreover, the skin of his regenerated arms is slightly differently colored than the rest of his arms. he also has a jagged line running through the left side of his scalp where no hair grows; if you feel around at the back of his head he also has some bald and burn scarred patches where he was burned and the hair would not regrow. one time he also tried to burn the altean markings off his left leg; whereas on a normal altean the markings would have grown back as they were before, the marks on his leg grew back looking like lightning rather than traditional altean marks. he has scattered cuts from various weapons running through his skin in various places; from time to time he also has chipped and burned ridges on his back (though his ridges grow out and shed every 20 or so years, taking some of the scarred parts away with that).

galra see scars as brave and heroic, whereas alteans see them as singularly unattractive. because of this he has a love-hate relationship with his scars. he wants to love them because they tell his story, because as a galra he would never judge anyone for having scars, and because galra are constantly telling him that his scars are the only attractive thing about him. but he can also be very self-conscious of them because he knows that alteans are not “supposed” to look like this. it’s a struggle.

[ofalsehoods-archive]

i botched it. i ruined the most important interview of my life. i prepared for it for two weeks and it was still a fucking trainwreck. i want to die--i want to cut myself and bleed out or at least just give myself a few scars a punishment because there’s no other way i can deal with how badly this went. i failed myself and my mom who i don’t even love but it still hurts to fail her either way. i just really want to hurt myself right now because honestly that’s what i deserve. i’m already hurting myseslf for failing this badly, in a way. slashing myself up is nothing compared with that.

[usertoxicyaoi]

// trigger warnings: eating disorders, self harm, relapse, emetophobia. //

meh now that i come to think of it i feel played and embarrassed over how triggered i felt to the point of relapsing into self harm, and thus how much i overreacted, when that video of vilde vomitting was released, and i haven’t even seen the video.

just there mere fact that i, along with others, instantly connected vilde making herself throw up to her eating disorder, and thus, feeling triggered after that, just goes to show how deeply harrowing something like that can be. that in our minds, we connectes both of those things together straight away, and the caption of that video only amplified that connection.

only to then have it be thrown back in our face with a “woops lol sorry it was just a video of vilde throwing up bc she was drunk at some party last week” … like???

lmao i can’t tell you how embarrassed and humiliated i felt for thinking that perhaps vilde had relapsed and that i was on my way to relapsing, almost as though skam was laughing in my face for thinking all those things like “haha! you thought!!! haha! overreacting like always!!!” … like, that really wasn’t a joke? eating disorders are not a joke. feeling triggered and relapsing and self harming is not a joke.

wow, man … wow. julie andem, wow. i really did play myself. you almost, almost, got me there! a pathetic lil sorry for the sake of drama doesn’t quite undo how i felt though.

[myironlxng]

@bitx-me

“No. I c-can’t do shit ta her, and she’s got no problems killing kids, o-or torturing ya, or. Fuck. Please, ‘m begging ya, just... just stay away from her. I don’t care what ya do as long as ya stay away from her. Please. Just... j-just promise me.” He goes back to scratching his arm, not even noticing as it starts bleeding again.

[lovedreaming]

…OKAY BUT THERE’S A DARKER REASON WHY KYOGO WOULD HAVE GIVEN THEM EXTRA DURABILITY.

because let’s face it: geniuses aren’t the most stable people. in fact, they’re probably some of the least stable people ever–which is why the concept of the eccentric genius is even a thing. and these classical composers are not exactly the most stable, plus their lives were filled with tragedy: historical liszt and beethoven BOTH had suicidal ideation, tchaikovsky was SUSPECTED to have killed himself and who knows how the other classicaloids would react to remembering all the shitty things that went on in their pasts.

if any of them tried to harm themselves, THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO BECAUSE NON-SUPERNATURAL METHODS OF SUICIDE AND SELF HARM (stabbing/cutting, shooting, overdosing, hanging) WOULD HAVE NO EFFECT.

granted, this would make them harder to stop if they tried to harm others. but given their past lives, the danger they pose to themselves would be the main concern.

[cosmoscourge-a]

don’t self-harm by looking at traumatizing content don’t self-harm by looking at traumatizing content don’t self-harm by looking at traumatizing content

[reysonsmanymuses-archived]

     “I need to be recognized by that person.”