#relationshios

[infjinstinct]

Are you afraid of commitment?

No, I’m conscious of how devoted I can be, and knowing the capacity I have to love someone entirely and in a way that is unwavering - is something worth protecting and being patient for.

However, I do see this as an interesting question because a fear of commitment isn’t necessarily out of a fear of being “pinned down” it can very well be rooted in a fear of abandonment. 

[actuallyschizoid]

Do you long to be loved? Like I don't want to be close to people (& I don't see myself getting to the point where someone would actually love me) but in theory it would feel good. Like love without the people thing??

Nah, I don’t think so. I personally kinda dislike the whole concept of being loved and/or loving. Probably because I know I can care about people (or pets) when they stick around for long enough (like, a few years). And I don’t like myself in that state. So I just rather avoid staying near other living creatures for that long, minimizing the risks of getting attached to them. 

Also not quite sure how are you planning to love or be loved without being emotionally intimate with them. Since that’s pretty much the whole point of this love thingy. 

As of right now, I still have two people on this planed whom I care about — which are my parents. There is nothing special about them, it’s just happened so that they were in close proximity from me through my whole life, including pre-manifestation when it was much easier for me to get emotionally involved.

Same happened to pets which lived with us for 10+ years, but all of those are dead now. E.g. two new cats my mother brought I’m not even closely attached to as I was to my old cat. I’m mostly friendly with them, and I won’t do things like tossing them on streets or anything, but loving them... nah, that doesn’t work. So far. 

And hopefully it’ll stay this way, because last thing I need in my life is new couple of long-living creatures who will be stuck on my neck for a good chunk of my life and I won’t be able to do anything about them. Because love can’t really be controlled on conscious level, unfortunately. 

And since you can’t unlove at will, why would you ever bother to? What else it would bring you besides unwanted pain in the ass and extra expenses in your life? If you’re a schizoid and expect this to feel good while nothing else really does — sadly, that’s unlikely to be any different. 

You might end up just feeling bad from being forced to do things for other people by your own brain, being exhausted and lacking stuff you could do for yourself with all that energy, but gaining next to nothing in return. 

At best you get that temporary removal of feeling bad from ignoring needs of whoever you care about. To me that sounds surprisingly close to how long-using drug addicts describe their addiction. At some point it no longer makes them feel good to use whatever shit they’re on (at least not in same doze) — it just that without it they’re gonna feel horrible and there is no choice but to use it again and again.

That might be somewhat justified by the fact that the good feels from love are also endorphin-based, so it might be just chemistry thing. So why exactly would I (or you, for that matter) want to get myself addicted to that willingly? 

I never was a fan of any shit that causes uncontrollable addiction. I don’t smoke and never tried to. I don’t drink at all — not even beer, nothing that has non-zero alcohol in it (unless it’s prescribed to me for medical reasons). I don’t even know how alcohol tastes. And of course I never tried any kind of addictive illegal drug shit. I treat love the same way and chose to stay the fuck away from it as long as I have a chance to.

But of course that’s up to each one’s choice what to do with their life and what kind of shit to use to boost their endorphin levels. If you find that to be worth it, then sure. It might be worth a shot, and maybe it’ll actually be good for you. If not, at least it’s not a bad thing to think about in theory. 

[discord]

[abigayle12000]

[preacherman316]

Four Ways You Can Be A Blessing

In an old Peanuts cartoon Lucy marched in and demanded that her brother, Linus, change television channels. “What makes you think you can walk right in here and take over? asks Linus. “These five fingers,” says Lucy. “Individually they’re nothing but when I curl them together like this into a single fist they form a weapon that is terrible to behold.”Continue reading

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[poeminthesky]

My Friend

Love, love, you tell me you love me

And I love you too. I do.

It was after tonight, when we spoke until dawn

That the work had been done.

I was happy, I was over the moon

to talk at large with you. And still I cried

in the dark lonely room

when the phone disconnected and

I was left to think about how much I hate you.

 I’m grieving when I say it, I am struck

every time I do.

There’s no one closer to me than you

Yet I cry as dry as burnt sand

When I think about what you said

When I told you my plans.

 But I’m sensitive, truly yes I am.

I really am, I flinch at the slightest

And I ache at the touch of a hand.

I am the charged, convicted with your crime

And it makes me so happy that my sight, unbarbed

still sees you as my friend.

[skinnypineappleprincess]

Does anyone go through this too?

So I am obese and gross and ugly.. and I felt insecure ever since I gained weight after being rejected for so long. My boyfriend rejected me sexually for 2+ years and I slowly started gaining weight from eating my feelings. I always wanted him to be more affectionate.. we moved in together last week and ever since then he’s been more affectionate. Great right?! Like yay you want sex finally! I’ll go shave rn and get some cute ass lingerie. But... now I feel even more insecure. I gained all of my weight back since I started losing back in August.

I just feel too fat and gross to be loved I guess... is anyone dealing with this?

[theradicalragamuffin]

It's not that complicated one of y'all is just lying and/or delusional ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[jamericanspice]

The flower #relationshios