#relationship troubles

[inkblotinlovewithfresh]

“Drysdale doesn’t deserve Washford” this “Drysdale is toxic” that

SHUT UP IN THIS ESSAY I WILL

I’ve seen so many people say that they think that Drysdale and Washford’s relationship is toxic and that they shouldn’t be together and i think this is not correct. BOTH Drysdale AND Washford are shown to be terribly sad about splitting, even if they still feel some lingering resentment from it. They both love and care for each other deeply, but they show it in different ways. Drysdale repeatedly tells the player that he is NOT a words person, he doesn’t spend the time to make his words nice and pretty when it’s not necessary, and sometimes finds it exasperating when Washford goes on. WASHFORD on the other hand IS a words person! This is one of the ways they had such a strong miscommunication!!! They didn’t go to each other trying to understand what the other needed from them!!!

Drysdale is shown to put on a front even in his distress, so we can infer that he probably tried making a joke out of the entire situation when Washford brought it up. Washford is very open with his feelings, and most likely misinterpreted what Drysdale was saying. He took it to heart immediately, because why would anyone say something they don’t mean with their entire being?

After reconnecting and knowing now that they needed to adjust and rework themselves for each other, there is NO MORE miscommunication. They both understand they made mistakes, and that the other did too, but they forgive each other AND themselves and are able to push past the quarrel and find peace

Moral of the story

WAS Drysdale incredibly inconsiderate for changing the routine, flirting with Dirk, and failing to do his job without considering Washfords feelings on the matter and getting him sick? Yes, obviously. and he OBVIOUSLY feels bad about it when the player brings it up. He regrets it.

was WASHFORD also a little melodramatic with the entire situation, and instead of assuming Drysdale had outright betrayed him he should’ve tried to sit down and have a proper conversation? Also yes. Washford has a tendency to overdramatize things, even taking something as simple as someone not liking what he likes as much as him to heart.

They both made mistakes and overcame them!!! they are in love and it’s beautiful!!!!

[actuallyathena05]

A Bird in A Cage

i say this,

you say that,

i think it’s the end of it all,

but now im crying in my bed over your call,

i tell you what’s wrong,

in the hopes that we’ll fix it,

then you just stop.

then you just ignore me,

even when i say goodnight only,

i don’t want to say goodbyes,

i want to make it work,

but in the end can’t you see what this is doing to my self worth?

intro

[unrankedmoone]

All I can think about rn is the absolute chaos in the next book because of the separation of tairn and sgaeyl--I'm not okay

[problem-folf]

So fyi this is an explanation for those who are in the zen den discord and who are concerned

Also idfc if you stay friends with mebo as people can have more than one fucking friend

But if you say

“You’re a bad person”

Or

“You hurt him”

You will be blocked instantly.

I am not going to tolerate anything rude.

Explanation under cut

So i broke up with mebo

Our relationship was taking a toll on my mental and physical health

I have been struggling to sleep more than i already did

I was being clinged to and doted on so much i couldn’t take it anymore

I was even closer to ending it all

After the hospital turned me away

I do not care if i hurt his feelings

I should not be pressured to stay in a relationship with someone who was ruining me

I have blocked him on all my platforms

No i am not pressuring you guys to do the same

Please do not feel pressured to stay friends with me either

I don’t want to get into any drama.

[luckythewitch]

I’m noticing some patterns with terrible people/situationships my friends have in their lives that I feel everyone should take notice of and learn so… Let’s go over this one last time…

No, that person doesn’t feel guilt for hurting you, they feel bad because you called them out and it made them uncomfortable.

No, just because they said they’d change doesn’t mean they actually will (unless they show it, it’s nothing but empty promises)

No, that person doesn’t want YOU back, that person wants their POSITION back.

No, just because that person bought you some gift or is lovebombing you instead of taking real responsibility for their actions doesn’t mean you need to feel guilty for still being mad at them.

And no, just because they’re your family, a close friend, or someone you had good times with, doesn’t mean you have to forgive them. If you have the option, you can leave.

If you see a pattern, break the cycle, do it for yourself and yourself only. The pain won’t go away overnight, but you WILL move on eventually. And please know this: you are NOT alone <3

[the-healing-mindset]

You beg and plead this person to do better. Not only for the sake of your connection to them, but also for their own sake. You feel the tension from each one of their intense emotional states. You find yourself struggling to keep yourself away from old, unhealthy habits.

You can't keep yourself in this prison, however. Yes, we want to be optimistic and believe that we can "love" the other person into doing better for themselves, but we cannot do this at the expense of our own mental, physical, and emotional health. As sad as it may be, if a person is impacting us in such a way that our own healing is being disrupted, we must distance ourselves from that person.

[libraryledge]

Sorry, I'm Here for Someone Else (A Bikeriders Story Inspired By Benson Boone's Lyrics)

A/N: It's been a bit since I've posted a Bikeriders story. Thank you for the request for this songfic. This story is about Benny running into you, an ex-lover, leading his old feelings to resurface. Enjoy!

Benny's POV:

I was there on a date. Well, it was supposed to be a date, but honestly, it was beginning to feel more like an obligation. I was seeing this girl that I met on one of my many cross country trips on my motorcycle. She was this pretty little thing who immediately took an interest in me when we met at a local pub. We spent the night chatting and bonding over our dismal love lives. Things seemingly went well as we met up a few more times after that. However, she suddenly became distant, and I quickly picked up that she liked the idea of being with a biker more than she liked the idea of me. 

That’s how I ended up here, in a diner, waiting for her to arrive. She was running late for dinner because she was on the south side of town. Our date clearly wasn’t serious enough for her to come on time. This was just one of the many subtle signs that things between us were off balance. Like when I called her at home, she left the phone a little bitter, and I shrugged it off because it was cool for now. We were far from perfect for each other, but we were working it out. I suppose. 

I looked out the window as I sat slumped over at a booth. The view outside was nostalgic because it reminded me of my hometown and the people I used to know who were now a distant memory, or so I thought.

A girl in a waitress uniform, with her hair up in a bun, picks up a platter from the kitchen and heads in my direction. It was you. Suddenly, I was waiting at the diner looking traumatized because you walked up to my table with an order of fries. 

Your eyebrows raised as you asked, “Benny?”

I didn’t know how to respond because I knew you. In fact, I used to love you. You were my first love in high school, but after we broke up, and I became a freewheeling bike rider, I assumed that we’d never see each other again. Clearly, what they say about assumptions is true because there you were, smiling warmly at me.

“Hi!” I said, perhaps a bit too eagerly, because you chuckled. 

Gosh, I loved that sound! However, I dispelled that thought from my head because I needed to focus my attention towards awaiting my date as I internally reminded myself, “I’m here for someone else!”

Instead, I said the stupidest thing imaginable: “It’s good to see your face!”

That only made your smile grow wider, as you replied, “It’s nice to see that you’re still as unfiltered as ever.”

I felt my cheeks grow warm as I quickly added, “Yeah, well old habits die hard,” 

As I looked at her, I believed that more than ever.

“What I really meant was uh… I hope you’re doing well," I added, quickly.

“It’s nice to see you too. Are you waiting for someone?” you asked with an unwavering smile.

“Um…yeah. I’m sorry. I'm here with someone else.” I replied.

You raised an eyebrow as you studied the obviously empty space in front of me.

“Really?” you asked, leaning in close enough to make my heart race with the scent of your floral perfume. “Do they know that?”

I grinned awkwardly. “She’s on her way. My um...date has the habit of running late.”

“Mmm.” you say, as you place the basket of fries on the table. “Here. They’re on the house. I’m still not convinced that you're on a date, but in case you are, you won’t starve to death until she shows up.”

As you walked off, I felt a pang of sadness and wished that you could stay, so we would talk at the bar all by ourselves. Like old times, when we chatted about our futures without a care in the world, but now things were different because I was there with someone else. 

What happened next was unbelievable. My date finally walked into the restaurant. I had the urge to get up and pretend that I never arrived. I didn’t want to ditch her, and I hated to say it, but I knew it: mentally, I was already gone because my mind was somewhere else. In the diner's kitchen to be specific. With you.

My conscience told me Benny, don’t do it. Benny, don’t do it, but I needed to go. It wasn’t personal, and I knew that she would eventually understand. After all, she didn’t seem too keen on meeting up with me in the first place.

I quickly ducked out of sight, and barely avoided being spotted by her as I made a run for it. My heart was racing because it felt good to see your face after all those years. I always hoped that you were doing well. Even though I was there for someone else, I wanted you to stay. We could talk over a drink at the bar all by ourselves. We could share what we’d been up to for the past few years. We could do anything at all, but all I knew was that I was still in love with you.

I was going out of my mind, and I couldn’t take it anymore. The next thing I knew, I was running for the kitchen doors. The chef shot me a dirty look as I ran past him towards you.

“Benny! What’s the matter?” you asked, staring at me in utter disbelief.

“I need to tell you something,” I said, out of breath.

You studied me with a mixture of surprise and amusement upon your face as you asked, “What? Did your date finally show up?”

I nodded, and took a second to catch my breath. “Yes."

“Oh?” you replied, raising an eyebrow. “I guess all that waiting paid off, but that still doesn’t explain why you barged through the kitchen.”

“Honestly, things between her and I were never going to work out. You were the one I should’ve waited for,” I said, feeling my face grow warm as I admitted it, especially since the entire diner staff was curiously watching the scene unfold.

“Me? Benny, we haven’t seen each other in years!” you said in bewilderment.

“I know, but all this time, I thought that I could move on, and be happy with someone else. It turns out I was wrong. You can’t be replaced. I don’t know if you’re seeing anyone or if I’ve made a fool of myself, but I can’t lose you again," I admitted, as I looked into your eyes, which were as mesmerizing as ever.

“Wow! That’s a lot to process,” you said with a nervous chuckle. “You’re right. That was a foolish thing to do, and it will probably get you banned from this diner for life.”

I squirmed, realizing that the chef was staring angrily at me, which made me want to run in the other direction and forget I’d made that impulsive decision.

“But, I am not seeing anyone at the moment, so if your heart can wait another 30 minutes until I’m done with my shift, then perhaps we can meet up at the bar across the street and discuss the matter further,” you replied with a playful look.

I grinned, not believing how she could still read my mind after all this time.

“I’d love that,” I replied earnestly.

“Good, now get out of here before you get me fired,” you said matter of factly.

I chuckled sheepishly and said, “Sorry.”

As you picked up a tray of milkshakes, I suddenly remembered that there was someone in the dining area that I didn’t want to face at the moment. 

“Uh…just one more question. Is there a door in the back that I can exit through?” I asked, cringing internally.

You rolled your eyes good-naturedly, and pointed to the staff exit. Then, you placed your hand on my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “You’re not going to run off again, are you?”

As I took in your close proximity, my heart skipped a beat, a definite sign that I’d learned from my mistakes of the past and was here to stay.

“No, not again. Not again,” I replied, and I meant it.

A/N: Thank you for reading! I'd love to hear what other songs and characters you want me to write about next. Check out my Masterlist for inspiration.

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

"Your partner is not your therapist!"

Just a little note: this is mainly in the context of male/female relationship, because that's what I usually hear it as, but this goes for any relationship

Anyway,

This is kind of a controversial topic. On one hand, I've seen posts from (some) women saying this, sometimes bringing up how it is emotional labor. On the other hand, I've seen pushback from (some) men because they feel it's unfair since there's this push to talk about their feelings and whatnot

Here are my thoughts:

There needs to be some balance. It's not one way 100%

I do believe there are some people out there who use this as an excuse not to be there for their significant other. They might even expect you to be there for them but can't be bothered to do the same because "it's not their job."

The fact of the matter is, you should be there for each other and you can't be unwilling to do that, especially if you expect it from them when you're feeling down or having a hard time

But we also need to acknowledge that there comes a point when it can be too much for one person to handle on their own. If person A is constantly venting to person B or coming to them with a problem, especially if they have past trauma or are dealing with mental health struggles, person B might start to feel a bit burnt out. This is especially true if person A doesn't reciprocate or person B just doesn't feel equipped to handle it

So here are some important questions to consider before immediately jumping to the conclusion that you're being used as a therapist:

Do you expect them to be there for you? If so, what makes them doing it different?

Are they there for you when you're having a hard time? If not, it's worth communicating about

Do they just want to complain about their problem(s) or do they want solution? Are they trying to work on it?