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@the-healing-mindset
It's very easy for the negative traits to keep hold in our lives. More often than not, they're easy to hang on to. They usually don't require much of us to maintain.
However, holding on to those traits closely will end up costing us more in the long run than dedicating a little effort toward the higher ideals and perspectives.
A common theme I have been seeing recently is reaping the benefits of your past actions and investments.
Daily intentional action that leads to hidden growth and a positive impact in the future.
Whether for yourself or for others.
The seeds you planted then are allowing you to continue planting new seeds that will further assist you in building upon the foundation that you have established.
It's easy to feel like you missed out while you were busy planting those seeds. Missed opportunities. Missed connections.
Though it can be difficult to believe, if you had gotten those things back then, they would have taken you off your path. You wouldn't have had the time to build the assurances that you are currently relying on to propel you further.
Now, you are reaching a space that will allow you to effortlessly handle these newfound opportunities. Of course, this will still require daily effort and attention, but you are likely already aware of this.
It may be hard to believe, but you have arrived to some extent. Remember the days when you were trying to put together the life that you have now. You never thought you would make it, right?
But as you continued doing the small tasks daily to get you here, the life you were working toward built up around you without you even realizing it. All of a sudden, you were living it.
Take this as encouragement that the life you want is not totally out of reach. You're working toward it. In due time, you will arrive.
You were brave. You put your heart on the line. I know. It hurts what they did. It hurts how they treated you. It hurts that the routines, familiar patterns, and shared spaces are no longer present in your life.
As hard as it is to believe right now, life does go on.
They may have been part of your life for a while, but they were not there from the beginning. You existed well before them and you can exist fully and independently after them.
I know those scars are present. I know they hurt. They will heal. You will heal. You will be stronger going forward.
This was something that I had to learn the hard way.
We may find ourselves wanting to be open and charitable when someone approaches us with this kind of behavior.
We see innocence.
We see someone who may never have had anyone to show them grace.
We see someone who needs closness and compassion
We see ourselves as a person who can provide each of those things.
This is just something that exists within us. The kindness. The willingness and the ability to show up.
However, energy vampires exist. They will come into your life telling you everything listed in the graphic above. "I'm not good enough for you." "You deserve better." "I know I'm going to hurt you..."
Sure, there are some people who genuinely do have these fears, which can stem from a true lack of confidence in themselves, or from past trauma.
However, if you have been in the vicinity of a person for quite some time and have done what you could to reassure them of their desirability yet, they aren't working on working on themselves and continue to say the above phrases on a more regular basis instead of less often, they never give a reason for why they feel the way they do, and they seem like they are trying to convince you that they should not be in your life, allow this to catch your attention.
Observe their other patterns and behaviors. Get curious about them.
More than likely, they are hiding something that is going to hurt you extremely deeply when you do finally see what it is.
They are acting this way to gain leverage over you. That way, when you do find out and react in a way that is likely justified, they then can hold your reaction to their obvious wrongdoing over your head.
Be aware early on that people like this exist. They only want to control the narrative of the connection, making themselves look like the innocent victim and you like the villain.
It's okay to have some faith in yourself. You can do it. Whatever it happens to be. Setbacks do happen. Hardship comes about. But you can get through it.
When Repair Becomes Impossible...
It can be difficult to give up.
You don't want to abandon your efforts.
"What if they actually do change this time?" you ask yourself.
Even after countless times of seeing that they haven't changed.
In fact, in the time that you have been trying to convince yourself, they have only gotten worse.
Yet you hang on. Hoping... Keeping the faith.
However... This is a large disservice you yourself.
How? You're keeping yourself stuck in a cycle where you are teaching them that they don't have to do anything differently to keep the connection alive.
You are teaching them that you will fill in the gaps for their shortcomings. That you will always forgive their "mistakes" that they keep making, claiming to realize and apologizing for, only for them to come back and do the same thing again.
You've likely realized something else as well.
The fact that when you "mess up", there's no way to recover or repair.
You try every tool in the book, yet, your efforts are always thrown right back in your face.
You notice yourself giving more and more. Trying to bridge the gap between yourself, the issue, and them not being willing to meet you where it counts.
The dynamic may go something like this:
A conflict happens.
You attempt to understand and repair.
The repair attempt itself becomes another source of conflict.
You attempt to repair this new conflict.
This repair becomes another conflict.
The original issue is now buried under layers of new damage.
A dynamic like this is not only damaging and draining, you may find yourself being pushed into fight or flight mode when you can't get through to the person and they continue to make even the most well-crafted repair attempts into weapons.
This is when repair becomes impossible.
Though it can be extremely difficult, this is a dynamic that you must separate yourself from. No kind of healthy connection can form when one person is continuously wanting to drown everyone else in chaos.
Whether this takes place in a friendship, business connection, or an intimate relationship - you must find your way out of that environment because it will cause you way more damage than is immediately noticeable.
Always make sure that you are giving yourself the best possible opportunity to succeed. Everything that is within your reach to take care of, see that you are doing so. That way, when life opens new doors for you, you can more easily choose the direction you want to go in.
Step into your purpose. You can live for you.
Free yourself from the weight of your bad choices and habits. That happens in life sometimes, so don't hold it against yourself. Instead, learn from that, allow the mistakes to guide you through your future, and look forward with positivity and optimism knowing that you will give yourself the best possible opportunity to succeed.
Admittedly, I have been here before. Still recovering from it, actually.
Being in a dynamic like this can feel exciting. Fun. Rewarding.
In reality, it is dangerous. Draining. Painful.
The person who is controlling the dynamic may seem safe and loving most of the time, but in reality, they are constantly chaotic. Even the "good" times are part of that chaos.
If becomes addictive. You find yourself on a roller-coaster with them. Chasing highs, wanting to escape the lows. The thing is, safe relationships do not operate this way.
You're able to regulate, return to center, and most importantly, feel safe in the connection that you are building.
It can be tough to face why we end up choosing people who put us on this path, but facing this will allow us to spot this kind of dynamic much sooner and set boundaries. Ultimately, the boundary may need to be ending the connection altogether.
Sometimes, it is easy to get in our own way because we want to fix things that will eventually work themselves out.
It can be better just to let some things be as they are, which will save you a good bit of trouble along your journey.
Manifesting... When we see people mention the word, it is mostly associated with imagery of posh opulence and luxury. Manifesting a highly lavish lifestyle.
However, what about the small manifestations you achieve for yourself daily?
Not everything you do for yourself has to be something that's an extraordinary achievement. Trying to live up to that at all times can be exhausting.
Keep in mind that sometimes, the work you are doing is more about the next moment than it is about the present moment.
Of course, the present also has things that need tending to, but those are things that you can manage.
You've done so before. This is well within reach for you. You don't have to wonder whether you are capable or worthy. You are. Just take the small daily steps. Care for yourself. Ground yourself. You have every bit of what it takes to take yourself to the next steps.
Trust and believe...
These can be two of the most difficult things to do. Especially when it comes to yourself. Believing that better is out there and that it is waiting for you can also be a very difficult thing to keep in mind. You've got what it takes, however. You're already on the path. You've been on the path for a while. Don't think that you aren't capable of forging this path for yourself. You are. Just take the most basic steps. Day by day. You're getting there.
Stay close to you. Who you are matters. What you have matters. You define the lifestyle you want. Live it.
Allow others to fall in where they may. If they do in the first place. You don't have to depend on them for your life to look the way you want it to look.
You are whole just as you are. Believe it. Live it.