FIRST POST (FUCK OFF)
Hi, and welcome to Relationshit Goals. This is a blog formed as a platform for me to expose and attack all of the bullshit between men and women, and all of the bullshit specific to men only or women only. This will include calling out all of the bullshit games we play, all the double standards we exhibit, all of the hypocrisy we employ, all of the lies we tell, and everything in between. Let's face it -- you can't get away from this shit. Even if you have the "perfect relationship," you and your partner pull bullshit moves on each other at one point or another. This isn't a "man problem," and it's not a "woman problem." It's an "everyone problem."
WHAT THIS BLOG IS NOT:
*A SOCIAL JUSTICE BLOG. I am NOT here to "stick up for marginalized groups." I may be all for women's equality, but nearly ALL of you piss me off sometimes (as I am CERTAIN that ALL men piss women off sometimes). (To be fair, nearly all of men piss me off from time to time, too, given their behavior.) Even though I recognize the fact that women have been marginalized by our patriarchal society for millenia, that doesn't mean they're "safe" or "off limits" here. Oh, no no no. If we're equal, we're equal. I will write about things that piss me off. I don't give one single, shriveled fuck what group those things belong to.
*A FREE SPEECH PLATFORM. Most of you don't even know what "free speech" is, what it entails, when it is limited, when it is applicable, or the consequences of it. Most people think that when they're told to kindly shut the fuck up, they're being "censored." Bob Smith disagrees with Suzie Brown's opinion (which Suzie posted on her own Facebook page), and firebombs her post with all kinds of hateful rhetoric. Not wanting to put up with all this shit, Suzie deletes his comments and blocks him. So Bob, using his freedom of speech to its fullest extent, gets on his own Facebook page and begins blubbering that he's being "censored" and that his "freedom of speech" is being violated. (To reiterate: he is using his uncensored freedom of speech to cry that he is being censored and his freedom of speech violated.) So, to remove any confusion, this is not a free speech platform. I'll argue with some people, but deal with morons as I see fit. Welcome to hell, bitches!
*A SEXUALLY AROUSING BLOG. I know a lot of "relationship goals" blogs are sexy GIFs and steamy lines about erotic encounters. The title, "Relationshit Goals," should be an indicator that this is not... that.
*MEANT TO BE TAKEN TOO SERIOUSLY. Like... fuck off. I'm pretty well sick of everyone in this world. If you're offended, please relocate yourself to the nearest street construction site and find a parking cone. Remove your pantaloons and undergarments. Do not apply lubricants to your anal sphincter; rather, we want penetration to accrue as much friction as possible. Begin to lower your buttocks, and allow the tip of the parking cone to penetrate your butthole. Then, with a series of back-and-forth twists, lower your body towards the ground until the cheeks of your posterior touch the concrete, resulting in full anal insertion of the parking cone. (Translation: Go fuck yourself.)
*A PLACE TO FUCK YOURSELF. If, as mentioned above, the "go fuck yourself" comment is applicable, kindly do so elsewhere.
*A TOMATO. This blog is literally NOT a tomato, so if you were looking for tomatoes or tomato products, go to Wal-Mart. There are no tomatoes here for you.
WHAT THIS BLOG IS:
*A BLOG. I write things and make things. I steal pictures off of the internet, make them into memes or meme-style cartoons, and then write about them. If I steal anything else that I feel needs credit, I'll either link back or mention it. The pictures with "#relationshit" are made by me (with stolen internet pictures) because I'm cool like that. ANYTHING written that does not have an otherwise listed source (even if source is "unknown" or "anonymous") that isn't OBVIOUSLY stolen (like a common quote or axiom) is written by me.
*A TOMTO. Ok, I lied. This blog is a tomato. Fuck off.
One general word of advice: just enjoy life. Don't take shit too seriously. That's why the world is the way that it is: too many fucktards taking things WAY too seriously. Go get laid. That might solve a thing or two.
