Mar 9, 2021
I look for him—my fiancé—Usually when I’m home alone.
I’m binge watching tv and I turn my head to look at my cats and my eyes are pulled further to the hallway or the bathroom. And I think I’m going to see him there.
I keep his favorite candy in the freezer the way he did because sometimes I pretend he’s going to come back and he’s going to need it.
Today I said his name for myself to hear and it felt so strange. I should be saying it every single day if he were still alive.
Pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice. And sometimes it’s all incomprehensible.