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Surely one of the most satisfying events in my life of late... 😁 #satisfyingsounds #asmr #wip #removingbarriers #revealingsound #heypresto #andtherewehaveit #anartistslife #framingart #preppinglikeaboss #artposters #posterframes #coolvids #funtimes #lifeisforliving #satisfyingvideos #iamanartist #anthonyhodgsonart https://www.instagram.com/p/CWlweeWDK4K/?utm_medium=tumblr
Quotes of the day 📝 #quote #quoteoftheday #rising #removingbarriers
Count Your Joys.
I'm not good at keeping up with blogs. Since I'm on summer break, I happen to have a little more time to catch you all up with what I have been up to lately. First, I finished my first semester as a full time student in grad school in May. At the end of the semester, I realized I wasn't called to be a pastor as a role but that I have a gift of pastoring. I wasn't looking forward to the classes offered in the Master of Divinity program, so after talking to a couple of mentors I realized I needed to switch over to the Master of Christian Leadership and tie in the Spiritual Director program. Currently, I am aiming to become a certified spiritual director and eventually become a pastor of spiritual formation. Not entirely sure yet, but it's definitely a possibility in my bright future. I still aim to invest in the music community and eventually to all age groups and various people groups. The Master of Christian Leadership will help me experience more of a non-profit setting instead of only a local church setting. It gives me more options and demographics to explore my spiritual director-ness. I'm really excited! Seminary so far has taught me how to be more deliberative in my decisions, created a firm confidence in myself and my abilities, calling, strengths, etc. and to not be ashamed of myself. It's only going up from here. Secondly, I started working at Coffea Roasterie close to three months ago. Personally, this coffee shop has been a lifeline for me for the past year. This is a place where I struggled with my questions, brokenness, and loneliness. Out of my darkness birthed a community of new friends and coworkers. I seriously enjoy working at Coffea. I'm being challenged to learn, to grow, and to move on and it's what I needed at the time they hired me on. I also decided to chop off my hair. Again. When I was engaged, I was aiming to grow out my hair long and beautiful for the wedding day. I wanted flowers in my hair. After the break up, I struggled whether I should cut my hair or not because it took me already four years to grow it out. I was on a roll with growing it long, but I did not feel like myself. I felt like I kept attaching my hair to him. To please him. I was no longer needed to try and please him anymore, so I gave myself permission to cut off the old and welcome the real me in. I am a short cut, wild hair, kind of girl. Always have, always will be. I buzzed off 14 inches of my hair, and my hair stylist donated the hair to Pantene. I know I am not the only girl who has experienced chopping their hair off fresh out of a break up. I waited ten months to realize I had the courage to do it all along. It's been over a year. I spent the last year becoming a person he would not recognize; the real me. I spent a whole year searching my heart, my motives, my poor decisions, my humanness, habits that were hurting people around me and getting rid of them. I conquered so much in the past year, I don't even recognize who I am sometimes. I spent over a year as a single woman to allow myself time to heal. I didn't date, I didn't "talk" to guys, I didn't hook up. I still don't do those things. I respect myself too much that I don't want to contribute to the world's hook up culture. I spent a whole year learning about forgiveness, and I forgive him. I dedicated to make myself available for God to transform, mend, renew, and reveal my true self. Seminary has helped with that process, but going to church and serving at The Ransom has accelerated that process to a deeper level. If you have never been to a church that knows real love, does not condemn, extends the fruit of the Spirit, desires the Word of God, and does not sugarcoat the truth. I hope you find and experience a church like The Ransom Church. I hope you don't give up on hope for the church. The remnant still exists. God's heart for his bride still exists. The Ransom Church has become another family, another lifeline, and a place for me to struggle and wrestle with my humanness yet mysteriously praise God. I am forever thankful for this church. I spent a whole year becoming and accepting who I am and not being ashamed of it. I chopped off my hair, lost weight, I live a sober and clean lifestyle, I allow myself to feel pain and not numb it anymore. Through struggling and feeling those difficult emotions, I am able to experience that Kingdom joy now. God is so good. His love is so deep and wide. I don't need to live in fear anymore. I spent a whole year letting my Abba Father remove those barriers. Allow Him to remove your's.
My hope is in Jesus. "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 ESV #removingbarriers
"You delight in showing mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment."
First, forgive the people that have hurt you. Then pray for them. Not only pray– but speak well of them so that the anger no longer stirs up in you. And then wait for God to change your heart and feelings. Just wait…
Removing Barriers: The Vision
I have already faced a couple of stigmas and wide-eyed moments from sharing to people that I am on a journey to becoming a pastor. People either think I am Lutheran and becoming a priestess, or they are very surprised to hear that a young woman like me wants to be a pastor. Think about it, how many girls, such as myself, do you see entering into the realm of pastorhood? (Is "pastorhood" even a word?) If you know a few already, please let me know! I'd love to talk to them and see how they have figured out this whole thing! I'm sure there are some in hiding (it's time to come out, ladies!) I thought I would share in this blog my vision for ministry and why I want to be a pastor and hopefully answer some questions that might be going through your mind. 1. I have a huge heart and passion for the hardcore/metal community. I love music in general. It is a part of me. I just started to engage with hardcore and metal music when I was in high school, and I am still learning so much more about it! I love what the community stands for. I hope, as a pastor, I can provide a ministry where bands have a resource to receive help. Whether that be they need food and water, or their van broke down in the middle of their tour, or they need someone to pray for them or seek spiritual guidance. I hope to provide a ministry that believes so much in this community that a church gives offerings towards it to help fund the bands that are trying to make it. I hope to provide a church for bands to come to after tour and share their whole experience to the congregation as a testament to what God did. I don't know entirely what this ministry will look like or what it will become, but I am excited to serve this community whatever that may look like. I love you, community. I believe in you. 2. I hope to start a safe house for those who were sexually abused. Again, I don't know what this will look like. It could be a safe house that helps women and men gain back their lives and transfer out into society safely and have a reliable resource to lean back on. Still praying into this one. All I know is that I am very passionate about this subject. 3. I hope to start a ministry that helps with the homeless, or partner with ministries that are investing in the homeless already. I have wanted to do this since I was 16-years-old. I have helped in minor forms, but I hope to make this incredibly active. Whether that means the church or ministry I will be a part of voluntary gives up their livelihood just to join the homeless community and share in fellowship with them. It's time to be the church and not just talk about it. I hope to remove barriers, material ones as well, to get to that point of surrender. They need our help and they need to know they are valued. These three areas are just the beginning. I know that I am passionate about these areas, and it will have to take continual prayer and patience and remaining in God's Word to see these come to life. It's going to be a long road, but I hope to be relational to others because God has been relational to me. I hope to see these become real life and not remain in a blog post. It will take time, but I know there will be great reward among the wait. Some people have already asked me questions such as, "Aren't you worried about not making enough money?" or, "Isn't it against the Bible for females to become pastors?" To be honest, money does cross my mind and I realize I will probably not make as much as others do, and I am okay with that. I would rather be broke and do what I love than be rich and do nothing. I have an insane desire and passion to invest in other ministries or even in my friends' talents and abilities. I would rather give you money than keep it. I already know in the future I will have to hire someone who manages money incredibly well because that is not my expertise! I really suck at finances. That could be another barrier that needs to be removed. For the most part, I am not worried. God will provide, He promises that. As for what the Bible says about female pastors, I will try and make this short for now. My interpretation of what the Apostle Paul shares about women being pastors is that he spoke directly to that culture at that time. That was during a time where the church just started and people were figuring out their part on the body of Christ. The church has existed for quite some time now. I do declare that I am a feminist, but I am not a raging-man-hating-militant feminist. I believe in equality. I believe that the men in the Bible that were pastors have so much wisdom to share that women may gain as well. I want to learn so much from male pastors; I am open to their insight. We all need each other and we all obtain gifts that are crucial for the body of Christ. I don't think it is wrong for females to become pastors in today's culture, especially since we have the freedom and resources to do so. I fully intend to rely on male and female figures for wisdom. God created male and female in His likeness; why can't females be pastors too? And we don't need to be Lutheran to become one either. I'm not slamming that denomination; I'm just saying that God cannot be limited. If He called you to it, He will see you through it. I am ready for the adversity, the backlash, and the hate coming from people who do not understand yet. It really isn't their business to understand, it is their business to love. I already receive the adversity and I am thankful for it, because I have faced enough adversity in my life that has brought me to this place of becoming a pastor. I am truly called to this. I can't be easily offended when this sort of thing ruffles people's feathers. I will still love you! I will shake off the hate, but I will not shake you away from my life. I need some sort of struggle to rejoice in. So just for when it happens, I owe you a huge THANK YOU. I will wrap this blog up, but for now feel free to ask me questions or share any words of affirmation. Share this with your friends or family. I am open to hearing anything. Thank you for taking the time to read this! Much love, Lauren
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