#rena-librarian

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

A - I think you already know what needs to go in your letter, but I'm going to gently suggest that you try to say it all as succinctly as possible. If you hand over 12 pages, you know Crowley is likely to read half the first one and toss the rest aside. Maybe try to pare it down to one page (front and back, if you need it) at the most?

Aziraphale: I suppose you do make a good point, he does prefer for things to run a little shorter. He doesn’t appreciate books after all, and all of the best ones are at lea- Ah, I believe I may be going off on a tangent already. I’ll endeavour not to do that too much in the letter.

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

C - just be honest. And by that I mean "do not leave anything out" as much as I mean "do not lie." Anything that you've thought doesn't need to be mentioned in the letter, those are exactly the topics you should start with. (sorry if this sent twice, I got an error)

Crowley: I should start with the things that don’t need to be mentioned? So I should start with telling him my favourite wine and the name of the newspaper I saw in the bin on the way to visit him. Because I don’t think those things need mentioning in a letter. Is that what you mean?

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

Have either of you ever kept a pet, or would you, in the future?

( Anonymous said: Would either of you ever be interested in getting a pet? Like a turtle, maybe? )

Crowley: Like a human?

Aziraphale: Humans are not pets, dear.

Crowley: Why not? We’re about as different from them as they are from dogs.

Aziraphale: I don’t believe that’s the criteria for a pet. Personally I would not be interested in ‘keeping’ an animal as I much prefer to observe the Almighty’s creatures rather than interfere with their lives.

Crowley: Apparently shouting at animals to behave and grow better can be considered abuse, so I’m not going to either. My plants are enough trouble anyway.

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

Do you two have money stashed away (residual income from a long-ago investment, or something), or do you just miracle cash into existence as you need it?

Aziraphale: ...

Crowley: I think our last post answers that one for you. Don’t mind the angel, he’s just having a crisis over it.

Aziraphale: It can’t be a sin because sometimes the miracles we would be asked to perform for humans would be to ensure they ‘located’ the money that they required for their good deed!

Crowley: Oh wow, look at that, the whole system’s flawed. Who’d have thought it?

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

I looked up those Neruda sonnets and they're nice and all, but I'd like to hear Aziraphale's reaction to the song Angel With a Shotgun by The Cab :) (Sorry if this sends twice, I got an error the first time!)

Aziraphale: ... Well... those were... interesting lyrics.

Crowley: I liked it. I think.

Aziraphale: It’s not really my genre of music.

Crowley: And your only comment on the lyrics is ‘interesting’?

Aziraphale: ... Yes. An... unusual sort of tale painted there...

Crowley: ... Well good now that’s all clear as mud, next question? 

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

Crowley is lying, he was worried sick (and so were many of your readers, I was!). Is it possible to discorporate from worry? We were afraid that was going to happen to him. There was a lot of concern that Heaven may have come after you and he wouldn't have been able to help, too. You mean so much to so many of us, obviously especially to Crowley, don't let him get away with playing it off like it wasn't a big deal to him. (Read his solo posts, maybe...)

( Anonymous said: Aziraphale, please at least leave a note next time if you think you might be away for a while. I know Crowley’s trying to act like it was nothing but you frightened him out of his wits. Us too. There’s a reason he’s trying to stop you looking back at the posts from when you were away. He was borderline hysterical in some of them. )

Crowley: Don’t listen to them angel, they’re lying. Lying’s a sin, so you’ll only encourage them by responding.

Aziraphale: Perhaps... why aren’t you letting me look at the posts from when I was away, Crowley?

Crowley: Maybe I was insulting you in your absence. Not worth the risk of you looking, is it?

Aziraphale: =/ I’m more liable to believe you’re the one lying here actually...

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

Crowley, I had some errands to run this morning and I decided to walk like you. (We'll blame the black skinny jeans for the idea.) I don't know how you do it, my hips were sore after about fifteen minutes...but also I kept it up because everybody got out of my way and that was great. But no wonder you love the Bentley, saves you having to do that.

Crowley: It helps when you don’t have hips. Or at least, when you don’t need to have hips and can will what you do have to be more flexible and snake-like whenever you want.

Aziraphale: I have never noticed people get out of the way because of the walk. I always thought it was because of the scowl.

Crowley: I’d still pick the Bentley over walking anyway, it’s just a better way to travel.

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

Is there any way to track Aziraphale, like, with magic or his/your powers? A spell of some kind? Perhaps call up Anathema Device and see if she has any ideas, or if she could use her pendulum or something? If he can sense love, is there anything about him you can sense?

( Anonymous said: Have you checked in with Newt and Anathema recently?

Anonymous said: Out of interest, are you still in contact with Anathema, Adam, or Madame Tracy? Just a shot in the dark but maybe, if you are still in contact, one of them could help you find Aziraphale? )

Crowley: Book girl and her little boy toy? Not seen them in a while but it shouldn’t be hard to find them. As far as I know, Adam’s not got powers anymore, and bar that one time she was possessed, Madame Tracy was pretty much a fraud so doubt either of them would be helpful. I don’t know how much of book girl’s ‘witchy tricks’ actually work, but it can’t hurt to investigate. Not like I have many other options right now. I’ll go ask her.