#renfield posts

[vampirehuntersystemreblogs]

I don't like tumblr communities, and I never plan to join the Plural one. However, it disturbs me how baseline many of the questions I see from endo systems there are. Many are only answered with "I think I've heard of that," and other uncertainties.

"I don't experience switches," have you looked into PDID systems? "Is it possible to have sibling alters?" Internal relationships will vary, this is a documented phenomenom. Whether alters simply feel like siblings or are related insys, your internal structure is valid. "Do you ever forget you're a system only to redo syscovery days/weeks/months/years later?" Yes. We personally have had extensive experience with this, and I'm curious whether it's increased in prevalence with DID's online popularity. Regardless, CDDs are covert, you're not supposed to know you're a system. Denial and forgetting is part of the disorder.

I'm sure there's more examples, and I wish I could inform these confused plurals. A one word answer would suffice, giving them a term to google which might help them understand themselves. But would they listen? Medical terminology (ref PDID vs. median identities) is often rejected by those spheres, and in the end, you've got to do your own research when questioning a disorder.

[vampirehuntersystemreblogs]

We don't really like posting personal info here. But, we've got our first therapy appointment in years tomorrow, which we're super nervous about. I plan to discuss our symptoms and since we've stopped tracking specific alters recently anyways (it's a whole thing). Plus, I feel a lot like we've restarted our syscovery journey because we've become aware we switch and then later that we experience amnesia between switches (which is why we changed from questioning pdid to a cdd). As well as a shift in daily life roles amongst alters. So I want to go at this pretty objectively to approach our symptoms professionally and treat whatever answer we receive. We're petrified, of course, but we've been planning and saving to go on our own health insurance as an adult so our parents won't receive the information, since before we turned 17. So I think we can handle this. Any advice is appreciated, although I doubt anyone will see this. I just wanted to log/express this moment because it's an important part of our journey. Which we've been questioning approaching in therapy since our previous sessions at 15, if I recall correctly. I want to do this right, and we will, even if it takes time. We're going to get better.

[vampirehuntersystemreblogs]

Looking back at my old posts cuz I’m highly considering making this blog public again. But, have to make sure there’s nothing personal on it first. And I don’t remember writing like any of this istg.

I identify as pdid cuz I remember everything that’s happened bar trauma, and I know this cuz I keep strict track of my day for studying due to being a workaholic.

Yet even so I don’t remember posting these, I knew they existed I think, I just don’t know if I remembered. Idk it’s all blurry now. I swear I did post them, Ari, me, I posted them.

But, I don’t remember. I don’t think I remember. I can’t recall. It’s all idk. It’s just not there despite knowing it should be. I can’t remember the last time this happened if ever. I don’t like it :/

[vampirehuntersystemreblogs]

:P

[vampirehuntersystemreblogs]

Was writing a reply to a new ask, then recieved another one. So, I think I'll respond to these/any new notifications tomorrow, so I can properly respond because I'm tired haha.

Until then, I'm returning to private for the night as I'm not used to getting interactions here and don't want to risk being hate-brigaded while I sleep. Have a nice timezone everyone!

[vampirehuntersystemreblogs]

I don't think many of you know what system npcs are...

[vampirehuntersystemreblogs]

Co-Hosts Comparison

Ari: I've denied being a system my whole life. But I've met you throughout. I know all of you and no matter how hard I resist, I understand that you're real.

Tim: Well I don't really know anything about being plural to be honest. I've worked here for 6 months and I guess I'm expected to speak for y'all now like okay folks. Considering the limited time of my existence, if you'd like to call it that, I'm sure there's something going on up in my head. But honestly I have no clue who most of you here 'alters' are. So, why not find out with a professional, right?

[vampirehuntersystemreblogs]

Might be returning temporarily to this blog.

After years of accidental forced syscovery which lead to amnesia, denial and paranoia cuz we weren't ready for it. We've finally reached a year of confidence in our system and almost three of being aware of it. So I think I can have a space for us, without someone deleting everything.

We're pretty open/active as a collective in our part of the slenderverse community (@starielluvsinternethorror is our sv blog however won't be sharing the specific discord server atp as we're quite personal there and I'm trying to be more conscious of our different boundaries), but other than that we remain very closeted.

I plan to continue therapy asap and hopefully get medically recognised so we can stop questioning. But besides that how we've determined we're probably a system is our business alone. In coming back, I plan to be more private about our alter and other medical information, as well as avoid syscourse where possible.

I'm considering posting some comics, as we already enjoy making those for communication, but don't get your hopes up haha. We've also changed our system name from Mosaic/Solar System to Renfield/Vampire Hunter System and will therefore using #vhs-comments instead of #sun-talks from now on.