Not what these doodles are for but hold on their height difference is frying me. I didn't even really make Ren short on purpose Toshinori is just genuinely so fucking tall man
what if I'm thinking Rennori angst huh. then what. huh!!
[Sorry if I lured u in with fluff as I'm always holding the baseball bat of angst. I like hurting my character's feelings]
lol anyways I do think there's a lot of angst potential with them. in general like. Ok so this was supposed to be general thoughts then got real specific about certain things so. Long post under the cut!
Toshinori obviously has a lot of trauma in his life. His parents were killed, his master was killed, he was physically torn apart in his battle with All For One. Frankly the strongest part of him is how positively he carries himself despite all of that tbh.
But that doesn't just go away yeah? I make a point of it in Ren's fanfic to talk about what Ren can sense there with his quirk- there's the glowing positivity that radiates from Toshinori, but Ren can also sense the fears lurking beneath. As Toshinori repeats frequently to himself and others, he smiles to hide the fear he feels and to make others feel at ease- something he learned from Shimura.
At first, Ren doesn't really want to bring it up. I mean, especially while their acquaintances, bothers him a bit more when they're friends, and probably comes to a point just before Ren finds out he's All Might. He can sense the negative emotions twisting further and further as Toshinori has to worry about the loss of his quirk, and the threats to his students. Ren doesn't know about the why, but he knows how Toshinori feels. He very much gets torn between wanting to help and wanting to respect Toshinori's privacy.
The timing is still a little fuzzy for me, but sometime between the students going to summer camp -> Bakugo getting taken by the league of villains -> Toshinori working to save him [probably before Bakugo is taken] Toshinori tries to distance himself from Ren. Its probably mostly the growing fear of Toshinori realizing All For One isn't dead. Ren's not a hero, he's never even liked heroes. He has no way of defending himself, and Toshinori [who has started to develop feelings for Ren by this point] won't be able to protect him. He can't be around him all the time- and he knows he's losing One For All.
Of course, Toshinori can't explain any of this to Ren. Like at all. So to Ren [who can sense Toshinori's growing anxiety- and his growing feelings for Ren-] basically just gets rejected with no reason other then "its for your safety" when Toshinori tells him he doesn't want to spend time with him anymore. For Ren who's been super lonely at this point in his life, and who has started to fall in love with him, this probably hurts. A lot. Its at this point where Ren tries to call him out- tries to convince Toshinori to tell him what he's so afraid of- but Toshinori ignores him and leaves.
Ren, historically, is usually the first person to push others away. He's avoided family to not hurt them. He breaks up with people when he can sense they no longer love him. He isn't usually on the receiving end of that. It probably breaks him a little bit. He would pretend its fine, he can reach out to other friends. He'd already told himself years ago he wasn't meant to have another relationship. That things never work out for him. He wouldn't let this hurt him.
Yeah, it hurts him. Guy probably cries his eyes out. Gets a deep blue aura surrounding him for days. He probably tries texting Toshinori a few times- at first, begging him to talk to him, then trying to pretend it hadn't happened with "heys" and "how are you"s but never getting a response.
Toshinori can't bring himself to just block Ren. Firstly, because there's a part of him that wants to apologize and just go back to how things were. He wants to continue to spend time with Ren, and talk to him, and know what's going on in his life. But he can't. But what if something happens? What if Ren gets into danger and tries to call him? So he doesn't block him.
I think Toshinori has probably had a nightmare or two about AFO finding out about Ren. And what he would do to Ren if he found out about him. MHA very much makes a visual point on how AFO kills people so the imagery is probably very similar.
[Camino incident stuff which I've already scripted at length a couple of times happens after all of this]
After the Camino incident, Toshinori tells Ren about how he can't use his quirk anymore. [Ren also explains that he can read emotions] He confides that he's scared he won't be able to protect him if their seen together. Ren tries to point out that Toshinori arrested AFO, but Toshinori's emotions tell Ren that he's not the only threat.
Ren tells Toshinori its a risk he's willing to take to continue spending time with him, but also sees right away that its very much not a risk Toshinori is willing to take.
Toshinori tries to convince Ren how bad things can get. He tells him about his teacher. About other heroes's friends, families, and partners that have been hurt before. He shows him his scar. Ren is getting visibly upset, which Toshinori tries to take as a "see, I told you its not worth it" but Ren essentially yells at him that the reason he's upset is because Toshinori is trying not to give him a choice. Ren tells him he is scared- but he's more scared of being alone again and losing such an important friend because Ren's weak. Ren's had a whole life of people telling him he needed to be strong, to be a hero, to be able to control his quirk- and now he's got another person- someone who he respects and loves a lot- trying to take away his choices and tell him what he should do with his feelings. Toshinori backs down at this point.
The two end up compromising. Ren doesn't want to give up their friendship [andcoughfeelingstheywon'tadmit] Toshinori promises he'll talk to him over the phone and text, and try to visit him in secret at his house. Neither of them really like this but it's the best they've got.
More.........eventually....! just keep thinking on this arc lately haha
