#repdreams

[apiasfrepresent]

May 8/ where I’m from

By: Charity Phillip, APIASF Scholar

“No matter where you end up in life; never forget where you came from.”

#LoveYourRoots

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By: Jean Abac, APIASF Scholar

Celebrating the accomplishment from the recent sixteen weeks brought a newer light to the upcoming adventures ahead. I had no idea how challenging nursing school could possibly be until I completed this past semester’s requirements ending at 10:59 AM after hitting the “Submit” button for our electronic Final Exam this morning.

I will never forget how one of my professors always told my classmates and I, “nursing school is supposed to be hard, you’re dealing with people’s lives.”

In the past few months, many things had to be put on hold. As if a “Pause” button on everything else unarguably less important than learning how to be in charge of another’s well-being at a hospital’s bedside has been automatically pressed. Excuses, complaints, and tantrums had no seats to our grand performances as student nurses. We were fully booked, show after show, week after week. A marathon for the brains, body, and heart, nursing school has taught me to be even more grateful for being granted the power to make an impact on other people’s lives.

[apiasfrepresent]

Being different is cool

By: Anonymous

Being different was not an easy concept for me to grasp upon recalling my memories of high school and early adulthood. Whether it’s the color of my clothing; the way I parted my hair; the way I walked; the way I spoke tinged with an accent of mother-tongue’s dialect; the way I ate with a fork and a spoon simultaneously during nutrition and lunch; my separation from the word “cool” since I only knew it used for the temperature; or the way certain words spoken to me seem to just fly over my head as I feared the truth of my foreign ears not understanding what classmates just said; being different at the time felt like a disconnect, a dead end, a death of the possibility of being a part of something greater and larger than myself.

Emigrating from the Philippines at fifteen years old, I was horrified with the stigma I was bestowed upon in high school labeled with a capital F-O-B; FOB, pronounced /fɑːb/; or fresh off the boat. I despised this term. I felt so ashamed carrying it with me every day, day in and day out. From the moment I leave the doorsteps of our home, to my daily walks to the bus stop, to my bus rides filled with the reminder of how I am different as I saw everyone carrying other things with them (I was born here, I am an American citizen, I am part of a community, I am an individual thinking freely on my own), and up to my first seatings in first period synchronized to the bell ringing cringing my stomach, I felt burdened by this dilemma of being different as a resident of my new home country.

Fast-forward nine years later, after going through a great deal of assimilation and learning, I now find myself so grateful for being different. Knowing two languages is better than one. I am no longer limited to my choice of utensils—chopsticks, knives and forks, handle-less miso soup bowls, forks alone, spoons alone, hands—what a variety! Mother-tongue’s accent can be hidden or manifest—now it is a matter of “to speak or not to speak” with it. Saying “cool” has never been so liberating whether pertaining to the weather or trying to be nonchalant. And whether I catch what the speaker just said or not, I acquainted myself and became friends with honesty as I can now communicate: “I’m sorry. I did not quite get that. May I ask for you to repeat what you just said?” All the time I spent mourning a hypothetical death from feeling disconnected was remedied by simply learning that adaptation is all about learning. Hard work was also necessary in knowing the various tools (such as language) that one may use in being her own person in a new environment.

Today, reconnecting with old hurtful memories of culture shock has been a wonderful experience. I represent all the immigrants that come to this country who have gone through this process of cultural assimilation for adaptation and as a bonus, personal amelioration. Education is truly the key to freedom. I am happy to say that I was once fresh off the boat and at the same time say: I am Asian American, I am part of a community, and I am individual thinking freely on my own.

[apiasfrepresent]

Dreams as Energy

By: Andy Dinh, APIASF Scholar

With this being my first official submission, I’d first like to introduce myself. My name is Andy Dinh, a biomedical student at California State University: Sacramento. I am a recipient of the 2015 APIASF AANAPISI scholarship and I am a third year here at CSUS. In relation to my introduction, I’d like to share with you guys my dreams, how I use them to fuel my endeavors, and how this scholarship has fulfilled one of my dreams. 

I’ve learned that in order to accomplish your dreams, you’ve got to set deadlines. Each night before I fall asleep, I have a routine of closing my eyes and envisioning what I am looking forward to the next day. Even if I have an exam, a scary presentation, or lots of daunting errands to do, the one thing that motivates me to wake up in the morning is being able to look forward to something. Most of the time, that “something” can be as simple as getting to play basketball, or going to the gym; two things which I have a strong passion for. By incorporating these small positive points into my day, I find the motivation to resist snoozing my alarm and getting up with a refreshed mindset. As far as my huge dreams go, I have quite a few. To name a few, I want to graduate at the top of my class, get into dental school, and become the most healthy and fit dentist this generation has ever known. I understand that it may sound like a handful, but I’ve learned to utilize optimism and the “one day at a time” approach. You will have your up days and your down days, but just understand that your “down” days are where you truly grow. Growth isn’t catalyzed by comfortability, but by struggle. So when you feel down and out, just know that any efforts you take to move forward are contributing to your personal growth. Have a dream that you can be proud of and find positivity in each day. 

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By: Ishara Deniyage

The one thing everyone can count on to keep moving forward everyday is the power of dreams. Whether we see it as a dream or just a desire for something, we all have something that keeps us motivated. Whenever I feel defeated and overwhelmed at school, work, or financially, I just think to myself that everything now is temporary; later on in life everything will be in place and I will have nothing to worry about other than enjoying life. For me to be able to enjoy life, I will have to turn my dreams into reality. Ever since I started to see exotic and luxury cars on the internet or on the road, I have always been fascinated and wanted to learn more about them and eventually start to design my own cars. Now that I am pursuing my Bachelors degree in Mechanical Engineering, I understand that it is only a matter of time before I am able to start doing what I always wanted to do, design cars and other machinery. My ultimate goal is to create something that will enhance the lives of people all around the world. To be able to make a change and help better someone else’s life would mean that my ideas have made an impact and my career has been successful. I have come to accept that making my goals a reality will not be easy. There will be many obstacles in the way that will question my ability to succeed. However, by overcoming one challenge at a time, I hope to end up working my dream job. I have came too far to give up or give in to failure, once I finish my education one of the biggest obstacles will be out of the way. Then my next challenge will be finding the right job with the right company. I might not get my dream job at first, but by working hard and keeping my dreams in sight, I hope to one day be at that point in my life where I can enjoy everything. 

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My Dream

By: Anonymous

As of now I am on the brink of getting my short term goal and that is my BS in Criminal Justice.  My count down has come down to only 3 months left and I get what I was dream of my whole life.  After graduation I will go home hoping to work for the Marshall Islands government.  Here my future goal awaits me.  I have always wanted to make a difference and here I know I will when I focus on working hard and try to get into the top position where I will be my own boss.  Possibilities are necessary when you become that big Leader!!!!!

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Love to let go!

Saoimanu Sope | APIASF-NBCUniversal Scholar, 2014 | UC Santa Cruz |

“Saoi” is in her final year at UC Santa Cruz where she is studying Film Production and Community Studies. Following graduation, she has plans to further her knowledge and experience in youth counseling and/or psychological therapy for, primarily, urban youth. Until then, Saoi is in the process of wrapping up her senior capstone for Community Studies after having spent six months working in the Media, Arts and Culture Department of the RYSE Youth Center in Richmond, CA. 

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You may be thinking, “how could anyone love to ‘let go’?” It’s probably easy to make sense of this when it comes to the not so great experiences in our lives, but let me explain myself a bit further.

The idea of “letting go” has too often been associated with the understanding that if you're letting go of something, it must be because that something has caused you more harm than help. And let me just say that in some cases—probably more than both you and I have ever considered—that isn’t true at all. Letting go shouldn’t be seen as a way for us to rid ourselves of the negativity in our lives, but rather, a way for us to accept our experiences for what it was/is, and look forward to what is yet to come. When we feel comfortable with this practice of letting go, we are unconsciously preparing ourselves (emotionally and mentally) for whatever may come our way. We don’t get caught up in comparing the future to the past and we certainly don’t let what we’ve already been through, impact how we approach our future endeavors.

 Letting go may be hard to do when it comes to the good in our lives, but in doing so, we acknowledge that, as we’ve probably heard over and over again, life goes on. Now, don’t get me wrong… When I say “love to let go”, I’m not asking you to completely trash your happiest memories and forget about them. What I am saying, is that if you’re anything like me: someone that takes a million and one photos and posts everything on social media so that I have the pleasure of reliving that moment as much as I want (whether it be how beautifully my food fills my plate, the incredible view of the place I’m currently at or the amazing people that I’m sharing a space with at some crazy cool event), it may be relieving to let go of those memories so that you’re not constantly stuck on what “used to be”.

Loving to let go is something that we should all get comfortable with because let’s be honest, we’re all going to have to—if we haven’t done so already—let go of something or someone even when we absolutely don’t want to. Letting go is a part of life and it shouldn’t solely be seen as a good or bad thing, but rather an approach to life’s great and not so great experiences that we may or may not have anticipated. And there’s nothing wrong with that. So love. Let go. And prepare to do it again. 

[apiasfrepresent]

I keep my hand up as I go

By Jean Abac, APIASF Scholar

Up my hands go, wondering

where will I be tomorrow?

With much nervousness yet unfailing

I keep my hand up as I go.

Walking back, here I’m sitting–

where did the past winds blow?

With neither a thought nor a fretting

I keep my hand up as I go. 

Hurrying not, once a-stepping

where will I see the show?

With a breath held since a beginning

I keep my hand up not below.

A dream it must be, I am reaching

where does this river flow?

With a hollow core and an opening

I keep my hand up ‘til I go.