#repsond

[foulserpent]

so the pink blog got a callout post, deleetd, and came back while i was asleep

[isthemedia]

@deathbyateacupsaid: Someone finding Mic’s obsession stash/room of articles and stuff about Eraserhead would be a lot of fun I think!

Ooooooh that COULD be fun! 

[idblowluke]

im so bored holy shit, should i do something? ships, video ships, anon time selfies or wut. pls help im struggling ?

[i-declare-the-poland-rule]

Rant- Do not Read Unless you feel like it

I'm kind of sick of giving people second chances. 

I'm usually a nice person, who is laid back but likes to get things done. But I've been under a ton of stress the last few years, with my grandparents repeatedly going into the hospital, my mom's job refusing to pay her and her getting a injury, as well as attempting to keep my grades up while trying to maintain a social life. 

Last year, I decided there was not that high of a priority in my social life, as I had just begun high school and needed a scholarship. So I didn't go out as much. At times, I did want to go to things, but I had other important things to do (doctor visits, dentist, etc) and I couldn't go out with my friends much. 

During the second term, my life calmed down a bit, and I could actually do things I wanted again. However, I noticed that my friends didn't really talk to me about plans that much. In fact, I drifted away from most of them because they believed I was  ' to serious about school' and constantly was yelled at because I was to serious yet it was only my first year. 

I made a really awesome friend, aside from this group of 'friends' that I was previously hanging out with, and I eventually only really talked to her. 

Though my friend still talked to me (from the group) I noticed that I wasn't really being invited to anything, because I was too busy to go during the first half of the year, this person decided I could not go anywhere after that. 

This person, decided that they would only invite me to things other people could go to, so I was always last choice. And I noticed this pretty quickly.

I had re-made this person a friend in previous years, and we go really close right before going into highscool, so that was my second chance to them. 

After I noticed that this person wasn't inviting me anywhere, I started to develop almost like a depression disorder that is constantly on and off. I also developed anxiety, and I do have anxiety attacks frequently, especially when I am stressed. I will often have to do activities to keep my mind from truly 'thinking' .

Because of this, I decided that it was not in my best interest to continue talking to these people, and almost completely isolated myself from them to save myself from hurt. 

I slowly re-opened up to the person in the group, who I was talking about before, who you can consider almost like a median between them and their friends. They are constantly inviting people to places, and its not like i didn't know they were, despite however much they tried. I always knew. 

This year, I tried not to mind that as much. I just ignored that and focused on attempting to be nice to the person, so this was their third chance. 

Everyone knows that Comicon was this year, though I had completely forgotten about it until the 2nd day in. Usually, this person would ask me if I was going to it, or as normal invite me. However, they did not mention a sole word, and I found out from one of their friends that them and the person along with many other people planned to go to the con. 

I let this go, with some hurt, because I had totally forgotten about the con anyway. But suddenly this person started telling me about events that they went to, and how fun they were, and never mentioned a single one to me. 

In fact, during my first year I was scarcely invited places, only when people couldn't make it, and during the summer, only when they wanted me to go or no one could make it. 

Though know I was giving this person a third chance, I was starting to become weary about everything. My moral as a person is to be in the very least honest and truthful, but this person is not. 

They have lied to me on many occasions, or act to timid to tell the truth. I would have minded if the person told me why they were doing this, as I could have easily responded and fixed the situation. 

Today knocked me of the edge however. Most of you, who are reading this, should know who Switzerland from Hetalia is. IF you do not, he is described as a neutral, peaceful, yet almost stingy character. Yet, he is also very protective of ones he calls dear. 

this person, a group of people and I were discussing who each person would be. I was named Switzerland, and though I tend to be peaceful, and at times neutral, I will debate and maybe even become aggressive if my opinions/rights/etc are challenged. I like to debate, not irrationally but in a reasonable and thoughtful way.  

Though I am protective of this things close to my heart, I do not see myself Identified almost fully with this character so I asked 'Why?' 

These people said' Because you have no patients for anything, nor any time for anything.' 

A little off put, and not wanting to begin a aggressive debate that would make me seem rude, I did not really respond to these people. 

Know that I think about it, I should have, not matter what the cost. 

Just because I didn't have time to do anything for HALF A YEAR BECAUSE I WAS SITTING AT HOME DOING NOTHING FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR AND SUMMER NOR DID YOU INVITE ME ANYWHERE AFTER THAT DOSENT MEAN THAT I DON'T " HAVE ANY TIME FOR ANYTHING"  I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF MY GRANDPARENTS DAILY< AND MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS OKAY. SORRY THAT I'M NOT LIKE YOU WHO CAN JUST DO WHATEVER THEY WANT AFTER SCHOOL WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD FOR ANYTHING ELSE. 

Also, I have a ton of patients, but at times is it not humane to get weary and snap a bit, I try to calm myself, and I almost never snap. But if it does than KILL ME FOR BEING HUMAN. 

NOT TO MENTION YOU HAVENT TRULY TALKED TO ME FOR ALMOST A YEAR KNOW, YOU BARELY EVEN TRULY KNOW ME. 

I dont like when people judge me, when they don't really know me ( I forgot to mention that a girl who I barely talk to to said this about me also) Also the person who originally said i had not patients said that to her other friends, and it has become my label know.

Thinking about it, I'm going to talk to this person about it tomorrow. I don't like having false labels, and my depression is back full-steem so I need to get this off my chest. 

Thank you to anyone who reads this, and thank you so much if you respond to it. I accept all the criticism i can get.