Oktober Höhepunkt Mark Aguirre, MSc. International Cooperation in Urban Development Darmstadt: it took 4 years, mainly of my own doing. Finally, this masters is complete. Emotions that surfaced at the time— exhausted, relieved, daunted, proud, embarrassed, guardedly hopeful. There’s an ambivalence having finished this last chapter. Reaching the end of a 10-yr project, I’m coming out of it with a sense of trepidation. Of course there’s the obvious “what now” and unfinished tasks that occasionally overwhelm me through the day. But there are also realizations that have waded into the fore. Mainly they center on a wide array of relationships— with myself, my family, my friendships, and yes— previous, romantic endeavors. I’m not as self-assured in navigating them as I once thought, especially since August 2018. Nevertheless, with ambivalence also comes a sense of (positive) emptiness. Like the quiet that follows the last person after a bar closes. Or when your dearest friends board the train on the opposite platform and you’re all alone at the subway station. Or when you get into the car, suburbia’s roads becoming dark racing strips guiding your thoughts on the midnight drive back home. In all these situations, real and imaginary, I find myself at a pensive moment. It’s that empty space where once-high priorities now are firmly in the past. Thoughts and feelings that were pushed aside for years have come back now, roaring to be answered. Demanding their just compensation. Yet I can’t help but think, maybe he was right. In summer 2012 while bike-camping, I met a person who shared with me his perspective of life. That it’s a series of circles. While he didn’t elaborate what he meant by it, I think I’m beginning to see what that means for me now. It’s the year’s end, 2022. Maybe this “reset” year wasn’t meant to be a fresh, clean slate. Rather, in closing this circle, I come to it recognizing how messy of a process that it is. That it requires an earnest acceptance that the process may continue to be messy and unclear in the coming year. Lord (and of course, friends and family), guide me through to the next circle. __________ #reset2022 #deutschland #usa (à ULB Universitäts- und Landesbibliothek Darmstadt) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClxDegWo0d5O9R1V8mh6B01HOHelxNpTsbcqA40/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=