#endure2021

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Oktober 2021 Höhepunkten: what happens after Santiago? In my previous IG account, I shared my reflections and discoveries when I went on the pilgrimage. These pictures are from the 3-day walk that followed Santiago, the end of the Camino for many. At the time, I wondered what this walk to the northwest coast would signify for me. I mean, I already reached Santiago; what else was there to discover? I know now. Since returning to the US, I’ve been mentally processing what it means to come back, consolidate my previous lives (@krish931, I give you credit for the term), and reconcile all of these for the current moment. Admittedly, I oscillate between moments of relief for being home to those of trepidation over potentially “regressing” to a former self. With these pictures, that 3-day walk serves to remind me of the complicated nature of life in transition. It’s not always clear skies. Fitting as it was, on arrival at Kilometer 0, Soung-U and I saw both the sunset and cloud cover of the incoming rains. They existed together. And maybe that’s what my life is here now. A series of simultaneous and complicated moments. In moments when I’m hard on myself, I look at these pictures and whisper “I’m okay” until those unforgiving feelings subside. “I’m okay. Remember Muxía.” As difficult as this transition can be, I’m reminded to savor this period as I savored the walk. “I’m okay. Chicagoland is the answer.” This is life after Santiago. ___________ #endure2021 #reset2022 #xacobeo2021 #españa #usa https://www.instagram.com/p/CZiziypO4aws0s4Mvs3vf9e5ldCw2nMAO7XkTI0/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Dezember Höhepunkten 📸 All pictures belong to @krish931. While posted previously on the previous account, I want preserve what is one of my last moments in Germany. I knew that time was and is fleeting. Yet as I go through the remaining pictures on my phone, I’m reminded of the love I have and cultivate in each chapter of my life. Here, I remember my selfish intent of wanting to experience and share a Weinachtsmarkt, especially in the pandemic era as it becomes increasingly rare. Add to this, these are the friends with whom I share my appreciation for Darmstadt. When we wanted to explore somewhere but didn’t know where to go, leave it to them to suggest visiting home. And boy did I feel special. Gorging on cheesy cheese and fatty potato fritters while warming with a glass of Glühwein, it was the company that reminded me just how precious my time was and is with them. Though not always graceful nor consistent in how I cultivate my relationships, I believe that’s what this resetting period is meant to be. Living with my parents again, I recognize my own contribution to a potentially difficult adjustment. Yet as @cintello reminded me before returning, and I paraphrase her, love family in all of its craziness. Because one day, this too, will be a fleeting memory. ________ #endure2021 #deutschland #reset2022 https://www.instagram.com/p/CYS8RQBsyJfrrvStlCH-cfB-z74sbPyQg4r13s0/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Dezember/Januar Höhepunkten Jumpstarting the American chapter: Chicago . Plainfield _________ 📸: Bryan, Gab #endure2021 #reset2022 https://www.instagram.com/p/CYQKSPeMahyVXJh2kr4LCICqyv7BYhqhx3IPrE0/?utm_medium=tumblr

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November Höhepunkten 📸 All these photos except the last two were taken by @krish931. If I am to look back at my last few days in Darmstadt, this is how I want to remember it. Seeing the people who matter, sharing the laughs, and being as silly and serious as I can be without any hesitation. It’s fitting as it reminds me of how I felt 11 years ago. In that chapter, the bachelor years, I remember feeling guardedly hopeful about the next step. It led me to the beginning of this current chapter, where I met a person who introduced me to the idea of circles in one’s life. That while life moves forward, there are insights and moments that feel cyclical. While I may be ten years older, I miss the shared company of struggling through the cold with friends. I miss being in awe at seeing the lights and hearing the chatter of the crowd with friends. I miss reminiscing and regretting over fuckery that recently happened. And as I look forward to moving back, I’m reminded that this moment is the rounding out of a full circle. _________ #endure2021 #deutschland @fafa6168 @sabena.thomas @krish931 @huynhminh35 (à Darmstadt, Hessen) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWwbtIKMDy0RL8oN16C2-_lu99_Y3fUxsgX8Bg0/?utm_medium=tumblr

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November Höhepunkten Bessunger Hinterforst __________ #endure2021 #deutschland https://www.instagram.com/p/CWohHIDMBOsSNzC5a7SRzkc-F_7mZsA7fho9bc0/?utm_medium=tumblr

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November Höhepunkten Edmundova souteska . Dresden . Berlin __________ #endure2021 #deutschland #czechrepublic #sachsischeschweiz #bohemischerschweiz https://www.instagram.com/p/CWobvQlM3fXkMOcJWK7afEh1hdgtjNKn_DqgQ00/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Oktober Höhepunkten: Skies of the Quiet Camino Entering Galicia, I was told to expect mostly rain. Especially in a transition month, I was prepared mentally for the long, wet walks. But with some good luck and a bit of wishful thinking, we were all rewarded with these dramatic sky views. I especially held on to the moments when I could be alone, admiring the solitude, the landscape, the faint noises of either farm animals or nearby highways, without any fear of having to engage an oncoming pilgrim. And yes, I miss smelling like 🐮💩 at the end of the day’s walk. _________ #endure2021 #reset2022 #caminodesantiago #xacobeo2021 (à Morgade, Galicia, Spain) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWoYqg0s1YwG7isv4Wy2icFHn8bK_lhCI65ouw0/?utm_medium=tumblr

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November Überlegung From the diary… 23 Nov. 2021, 19:00, Mühltal “In order to move forward, sometimes it’s best to move back. This weekend, I began the 3-week transition process to move stateside. With the family dinner, pizza hangout, and a close friend visiting from München, I’m saddened and grateful to be seeing the people who impacted me over these last three years. Yet I cannot ignore the ambivalent feelings of moving back to Chicagoland. Last night, I caught up with another close friend. In that conversation, I shared with her that moving back feels more daunting than staying here. What was once home is now the unknown. And this current unknown is now familiar. It’s home. The main concern is not necessarily what I’ll do but my disposition as I navigate the immediate steps ahead. Admittedly, there’s a fear that I’m returning by carrying the shame of failure. After spending all this time abroad, I still don’t have that degree, nor that career job. Yet I find comfort in knowing that I choose to return and face the issues that need to be addressed. My friend even challenged me, ‘maybe you’ll *love* Chicago.’ And I think it’s this idea that I find quite provocative and in a way, hopeful. The same curiosity that drove me to live outside of Illinois, be it another state or another country, could be the same curiosity that drives me back in Chicagoland. Envisioning where I’ll go, what I’ll do, whom I’ll meet- I foresee this chance to start again as a promise for moving back. It means getting back to the core and discovering what’s needed to move forward.” __________ #endure2021 #reset2022 #deutschland @krish931 @sabena.thomas @elisabetta_goforward @joel_1383 @valenceve @sheldonnxy (à Mühltal) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWoV--EsMxM0VRSOMWGSxTqckIG23EzXBlh1OE0/?utm_medium=tumblr