Mothers Day and Lane Bryant
I have had the weirdest day. It started off with a blood test for my thyroid levels. I know I’ll have to take these pills for the rest of my life but the tests drive me nuts. I hate needles with a passion. I hate needles more than spiders and I’ve been known to move out of establishments with too many spiders. But that was quick so, eh. Then we decided to go to the mall and do some shopping. That resulted in me having a complete panic attack in the middle of Lane Bryant over the price of shirts. As a matter of fact it was two shirts equaling about fifty dollars. On sale. Total and complete breakdown at the counter. I had to leave the store. Why is it so much? Why is it since I need more fabric I need to spend more? Torrid, Lane Bryant and Avenue are all the same. It is made for curvy women but they know we are stuck paying for clothes that actually fit and flatter us so we will pay whatever they want. And because I can’t afford that I end up going to the thrift store and buying someones hand me downs. Those never fit right so I don’t feel attractive. It is a vicious cycle of shopping optimism followed by monetary restrictions followed by sadness and finished up with regretting going shopping in the first place.
And on top of it all today is Mother Day. I didn’t expect it to go well and yet it went great. I messaged my sister with some honest feelings for her and my mom and the response was amazing to see. We don’t always get along but we are getting to know each other as people as well as family and that helps. A lot of people forget that part. Just because they are related to you doesn’t mean they are going to people that you like. Besides relationships with mothers will always be complicated. They are people who you are suppose to fear and love and respect and learn from and use as your example in the world. That is a lot to put on one person. What if their just bad at that?
I was lucky. I was raised by a woman who would go without so her children could have. I am who I am today because of her and I do believe I am pretty awesome. So Happy Mothers Day to all moms but especially my mom and sister. The two women in my life who influence and put me in awe of their parenting skills. They are better and stronger women than I could ever be in that department.