For what it's worth--and I know you've said you're avoiding maintaining about this--your comment about it being mostly a shipping thing did help clarify the discourse. I was so confused and annoyed about why what was a relatively minor incident of rank-pulling (completely in line with how Aranessa has made Julien stop being an ass to Occtis) was causing all these weird reactions. But yeah, the characters aren't going into the pre-assigned fandom boxes, must be the end of the world!
Yeah, like...what's funny too is that Julien is undeniably an asshole but he's actually for the most part brusque but not incorrect in the first half of the episode. He's not a nice person, but he's not dismissive nor unkind to Occtis when the group first discusses the journey.
Because I've been rewatching that section, just to lay out the chain of events, Occtis notes to Julien, unprompted, that while Julien isn't wrong, it does still feel weird for Occtis when Julien kills members of House Tachonis. Which is one of those messy and compelling situations in that one the one hand, it makes perfect sense and is not wrong for Occtis to feel conflicted about this; on the other hand, I have to imagine it's rather infuriating for Julien to hear "I did grow up with them" after he watched Occtis's father pull out his own father's skull unprompted, with zero say in the matter. That's when Julien brings up the (very valid) point that he and Thaisha have extremely clear and understandable motivations - they are on a rescue mission for people they care about - and Occtis and Vaelus do not. The specific line comes when Julien (not unreasonably) points out that at this point, no one knows exactly what House Tachonis wants as their plans have almost certainly changed, and Occtis pushes back on that, which isn't even closest to the most disrespectful point. The main conflicts here are first that Vaelus absolutely is interested in resurrection and Occtis is not opposed, both of which are not compatible with Thaisha's beliefs (which are already being challenged from multiple directions, internal and external); and that Julien wishes to destroy Occtis's family and Occtis has a lot of qualms about that. It is of note that Thaisha sides more with Julien here, despite she herself having no small amount of disagreement with him; she agrees that Occtis is trying to exercise authority in ways where it is not appropriate, and specifically in regards to protecting his family and/or personal station.
Now I think people are perhaps even more squeamish about Occtis not actively opposing Vaelus's plans, and yeah I'm not maintagging but I'm happy to remark on my own blog that this feels very much a case of people wanting their ship to be Cynical, Brash, Kind of Mean Top/Two Apples Tall Sweet Trauma Boy Bottom and being upset when it's not, which I happen to find both dull and unsupported at literally any point by the text. More generally, even outside the context of dismissing roving ships with no real textual basis, one of my great passions in fandom, the previous campaign, some reactions to Essek, and some non-CR fandom experiences have as of late really instilled a pretty deep and justified suspicion of anyone who is obsessed with the moral purity of their favorite characters, particularly characters who are young, white, and (in some cases debatably) traumatized. The most hateful, cruel, and prone to harassment people I have encountered in fandom have been those sorts of fan, and so I believe in taking a proactive stance when such sentiments arise.
