16
Yara touched a nerve insinuating that Astaroth would look for a loophole to get out of their marriage, will that finally get her talking or will it get worse?
“Asti, please, don’t....I...I don’t know how to handle this…I’m scared..” Finally she admitted it, a bit muffled since his finger hadn't moved. One tear making a slow trek down her cheek. She’d been afraid of losing him before, but now it was utter terror. She was messing up and now she’d gone and made him mad.
From shushing her, as he saw that his words had finally broken through the wall she’d put up and getting her to say what was wrong, to cupping her cheek and wiping her tear with his thumb, Astaroth’s expression and voice instantly softened. “Of?” He thanked whatever deity had helped him this time silently, and also the Fates.
“These women are confident and seductive, goddesses and succubi. I'm a mess, in all ways. The woman you were talking to today annoyed you, but what about next time? What if your mind changes about wanting this to work? What if you no longer want me?” her voice dropped in volume and was strained for her next words, “just like everyone else has in my life?” Her voice trembled and cracked, her whole body began to tremble, and more tears escaped the confines of her eyes where she'd been trying to hold them in making small rivers as they traversed her cheeks.
Now it was Astaroth’s turn to sit mute and consider his response, consider it very carefully. He wished for something stronger than the demon's brew he had, which he finished in one swallow now, to give him a moment to think of something to say. Some day he was going to kill Lucifer, but he was going to do it excruciatingly slowly and painfully. There was no reason his wife should suffer like this, doubt what he’d said, what he’d vowed.
“Darling, this is not the place for this conversation.” In an instant they were back in the cabin on the beach, on the couch. Yara’s flowers from earlier were in a vase on the table. “Now, this is better.” He sighed and tightened his hold on her hand slightly. “Yara, I don't know how many ways I can say the same thing till you understand. I thought we had agreed, that you understood.” He now knew what the problem was but he had no idea how to fix it. “Together. We’re going to do this, TOGETHER. Always. No other way. No one else. You and me. What happened in the past with anyone else is irrelevant. I can’t undo who I have been with. From now on, there is only you. We are TOGETHER. I vow it to the Primus Sator.” He knew what he’d just done, and hoped she would not make him regret it.
Now her tears flowed and she tried to pull away, to flee like she always did. She wanted to hide till the hurt in her chest was gone. The problem was, he wouldn't let her. His grip on her hand was tight, and he was holding her face with his other hand. She was trapped. Trapped with someone who just like her father, her brothers, her mother, any friends, and every lover, would throw her away when he no longer had a use for her. Trapped with someone that she didn't want to lose. Trapped with someone who was starting to mean something to her. Trapped with someone who...had just made a vow that hadn’t sunk in yet.
“Everyone leaves!” Her voice shook almost as much as her body, and her eyes dropped to the middle of his chest. “Before tonight I was able to delude myself that..” She took a stuttered breath and tried to continue, “that we could do this and you would want it to work. That somehow we could figure it out and you’d be happy with whatever we came up with. Seeing women I could never compete with in any way, ready to take my place…it made me feel all unsure and unsteady again. I always end up alone, Astaroth.” Her eyes slowly rose to look at his. “I realized how easy it would be to lose you. How you had options that were far superior to me. I can't compete or compare. You know I'm an emotional mess. Why would you choose that?” Her voice broke, she licked her lips, then bit down on the bottom one.
“Did you hear what I just said?” His voice was quiet. He now understood she was battling demons he couldn’t fight for her. He’d given her a weapon, but she hadn’t picked it up. Astaroth wasn’t sure that she’d even noticed it. He had to get her to pay attention to what he’d said, not what she’d expected him to.
“You said that we were going to do this together. I know. I know that’s what you said, but your mind could change. Women who are gorgeous and easier to deal with could offer you a different life. You could find someone that you have a connection with that is stronger.” Yara was fighting hysteria. At the moment she was winning, but she wasn’t sure how much longer that she could hold out.
“What exactly did I say? Repeat it?” Astaroth tried to will her to remember. To have heard the words. The vow he made was unbreakable. He’d made it full well knowing that. He also knew there was a fuck ton more going on than either of them knew, and he trusted the Fates a lot more than he trusted Lucifer’s machinations. If they allowed the wedding, then there was a reason.
“You said we’re going to do it together. You and me. No one else. Just us. We can’t change the past, so we’re going to ignore it. Just you and me, together.” Yara was reciting it, her head alternating back and forth with her sing-song voice, changing the words a little as she went. Astaroth nodded along as she did, waiting for her to get to the part that he hoped she would realize how much this all meant to him. When she paused after the last part he wasn’t sure if she hadn’t heard, hadn’t realized, or was thinking on it. Then her eyes went wide as she looked at his, and he knew. “You...you..Asti..you swear… to the Primus Sator…the Creator?” Her brows started coming together, a mixture of shock and incredulity coming to her face. “Really? For me? For us? You’re sure?” Her eyes searched his face. Was she understanding him correctly? Had he thought about this? “You can’t take that back...Asti! You can’t!” Her eyes searched his. What was he doing?
“Yes, really. For US. I know exactly what I have done, my Papilio, and I damn well meant it. I do not know what it is that truly brought us together in this, but I intend to find out. You can work with me or against me, but you are now stuck with me. Sorry!” Astaroth smirked amused, looking into her beautiful green eyes, and realizing that he was falling in love for the very first time.
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