#rich soil

[l0ngdog]

chapter 2

rich soil | joel miller

summary: Jackson was a miracle in a dying world, a peace you had earned by walking away from Joel Miller. tags: +18, SMUT, NSFW, lovers to enemies to lovers (kinda?), cheating, mutual pining, fluff, age gap, romance (eventual), hurt, violence, blood, angst

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | RS MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

AO3 | WATTPAD

b e t w e e n  2 0 1 3  a n d  2 0 2 3

"Oh my god," you moaned, your head tilting back into the flat pillow as your fingers dug deep into the rigid muscles of his shoulders. "Tommy, don't stop... Please."

"You feel so fucking good," Tommy muttered in pleasure, his voice rough and breathless against your neck.

He didn't slow down. Instead, his large hands gripped your thighs and spread them even wider as he thrusted deeper into you. You let out a ragged gasp.

He leaned down, his mouth catching yours in a sloppy kiss that tasted faintly of cheap cigarettes. His tongue slid against yours, and his fingers dug harder into your hips, almost painfully.

"F-fuck," he breathed against your lips, pulling back just an inch, his eyes completely blown out as he looked down at you. "Look at you. All spread out for me."

"Shut up," you choked out, your voice fracturing as you arched into him, your head spinning from the heat rising between your thighs. "Just… harder."

Tommy let out a low chuckle that vibrated right through your chest. "Demandin' today, aren't we?" he grunted, his hips slamming hard against yours with a frantic pace that stole the remaining air from your lungs.

"Tommy, please…" you whined, your hands slipping from his shoulders to grip the damp sheets. "I'm gonna—"

"God, you're trying to ruin me," he whimpered. His teeth caught the sensitive skin right where your shoulder met your neck, making you shiver violently.

Your legs curled tighter around his waist to pull him deeper. You clutched at his back, your nails leaving faint red marks on his skin as you finally came on his cock.

"I've got you, baby," he grunted, his own pace fracturing into something desperate as he buried himself inside you one last time. His chest heaved wildly against yours as he came, his forehead pressing hard into the crook of your neck, his breath rattling against your skin.

You stayed like that for a minute, staring up at the yellowed water stains on the ceiling while your pulse gradually slowed.

A sudden, quiet laugh escaped your lips. Tommy chuckled softly beside you, rolling over onto his back with a groan and dragging a hand across his sweated face.

In truth, Tommy was genuinely one of the few good things left in this place. Over the last few years, you had actually become close friends. He didn't treat you like a burden or an extra mouth to feed — he just treated you like a real human being. It made the sex simple, a natural extension of a solid friendship between two people who just needed to block out the world for an hour.

There was no grand poetry to this, no sweeping love story, no declarations of devotion or promises for a future that likely wouldn't happen — just a clean, functional way to feel something warm and human once in a while.

When the world outside your door consisted entirely of ration cards and the constant dread of the infected, you learned to take comfort wherever you could find it. And all you needed was skin against skin, which Tommy provided.

And, God, he was excellent.

When it was over, there was no awkwardness. He’d just lie there beside you with a lazy, satisfied grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. It was exactly what it needed to be — completely uncomplicated.

Tommy cleared his throat. "I should go," he said, his voice still thick with exhaustion.

"Five more minutes," you muttered, closing your eyes.

The man chuckled, turning back onto his side and planting a few soft kisses on your bare shoulder.

Then, someone banged violently at the door. The three short, aggressive strikes rattled the loose hinges, making your stomach instantly drop.

"Tommy!" Joel’s deep voice cut straight through the wood, dripping with pure annoyance. "Move your ass!"

Tommy let out a long, defeated groan into the crook of your shoulder, his forehead dropping against your collarbone as he cursed softly under his breath. "Jesus." He scrambled out of the sheets, untangling his legs from yours, and hastily pulled his jeans up over his hips. He didn't even bother buttoning them completely as he walked over and cracked the door open just a few inches.

Joel was standing in the corridor, his arms crossed tightly over his massive chest, his brow furrowed into a hard, unforgiving line. The collar of his jacket was dark and damp from the rain outside.

"Give me a second, goddamn," Tommy muttered, running a hand through his messy hair. He turned back and headed to the bathroom, leaving the door wide open and completely abandoning you with Joel.

Joel stepped inside the apartment, his boots thudding against the warped floorboards. He didn't shoot a single glance in his brother's direction. Instead, his focus shifted entirely to the bed.

You felt incredibly self-conscious, pulling the blanket tighter around your body under Joel's unblinking stare. He didn't look away — his dark eyes burned with a judgmental irritation that seemed to take in every detail of the messy room.

Your clothes were discarded carelessly on the floor, tangled with Tommy's flannel shirt. Your skin was still flushed, and your hair was a wild mess around your face. Most importantly, you were only covered by that old, scratchy blanket.

You could feel the weight of Joel's judgment tracing the bare line of your collarbone, and the realization of just how vulnerable you were under his gaze made your throat go tight.

Joel's eyes lingered a second too long on the exposed curve of your breast where the wool had slipped, his jaw clenching.

"If you must screw my brother, at least don't make him late because of it," Joel said, his voice low and reserved only for your ears. "Again."

A prickle of heat and embarrassment flared in your chest, instantly followed by a defensive spark of anger. You hated how his judgment could make you feel so small, like a child caught doing something naughty.

"He's a grown man, Joel," you shot back, keeping your voice steady despite the way your heart was hammering against your ribs. "He makes his own choices. You don't own him."

"He’s up here wasting time," Joel stepped a fraction closer to the mattress. "And you’re letting him."

"Oh, so it's my fault now?" You let out a harsh, bitter laugh, digging your fingernails into the blanket. "I didn't tie him to the bed, Joel. If you're so pissed, take it up with him. Leave me out of it."

Joel’s eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. "Tess is already waiting at the checkpoint, risking her neck because you two couldn't keep your hands to yourselves for one damn night."

A frustrating, uninvited twinge of jealousy flared in your chest at the sound of her name. God, you were so sick of it. It was always Tess.

Joel used her as the standard for everything you weren't, constantly throwing her name in your face like a reprimand. Tess was the partner he trusted — the one who didn't cause problems, who didn't complicate things, who always kept her head in the game.

But what infuriated you the most was the way Joel looked at you — like you were still only a teenager who used to look after Sarah while he worked late. For some annoying reason, he couldn't see past that. But you had starved, bled, and killed to survive just like the rest of them, and yet, he still refused to acknowledge it.

You respected Tess, you genuinely liked her, but the constant comparison made you want to scream.

"Tess knows how to handle herself," you said, your voice dropping a fraction, trying to match his lethal tone.

"Yeah, because she focuses on the job," Joel grunted, his eyes tracking the tight, defensive grip of your fingers on the blanket before locking back onto your face. "Not whatever the hell it is you two are doing."

"Oh, please," you hissed, leaning forward slightly, forgetting for a moment that you were completely naked beneath the wool, the anger boiling over. "Don't act like you don't screw Tess."

Joel froze. In an instant, his irritating impatience vanished, replaced by a stiffness. He didn't blink, his dark eyes locking onto yours. "Watch your mouth."

"Why? Because it's different when it's you?" you shot back, refusing to look away. "I'm not nineteen, and you're not my boss anymore, Joel."

"Tess and I don't let our personal business put a shadow on our runs," Joel muttered, leaning down just enough to narrow the space between you. "If we're late, people die. If we're distracted, we get caught. It's that simple."

You let out a humorless breath, shaking your head. "I guess you want everyone to be as miserable as you are."

"I want everyone to stay alive," Joel said flatly, his voice cold as ice. "And right now, this, whatever this is, is making you both sloppy."

Before you could fire back another insult, Tommy emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed now, buckling his belt. He looked between the two of you, picking up on the tension vibrating through the room, and let out an exhausted sigh.

"Alright, that's enough," Tommy said, stepping closer. "Joel, drop it. The girl didn't do anything. I'm ready."

Joel didn't look at his brother. He kept his burning gaze fixed on your face for one last, agonizing second, a cold shadow crossing his features as his eyes dipped down to the blanket one final time. Then he turned back and headed towards the exit. "Let's go."

p r e s e n t

It was the first proper day off you’d had in nearly three weeks. Between tending the community greenhouse and cataloging the supplies, your hands were usually stained with dirt and dust from sunrise to sunset. But today, the wooden chalkboard calendar in the communal kitchen finally had your name cleared.

It was a strange, peaceful kind of domesticity that you still weren't fully used to, even after all this time. In the old days, a free afternoon was a luxury you couldn't afford — it meant you were either starving or hiding. Here, it just meant you had time to watch the dust motes dance in the sunlight.

A familiar knock on the door broke the silence. You walked over, pulling the door open to find Tommy standing on the porch, looking relaxed in his shearling-lined jacket.

"Hey," he said, leaning his shoulder casually against the doorframe and tilting his head. "Look at you. Actually relaxing. I wasn't sure if the rumors were true."

"Don't get used to it," you let out a quiet laugh, stepping aside to let the man inside. "What are you doing here, Tommy? I thought you were on patrol duty today."

"I switched with Adam."

Tommy stepped inside and sat on the sofa, stretching his legs out with a heavy sigh. The old leather groaned under his weight as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Spoke to Colton this morning before he headed out," Tommy said, his eyes tracking you as you moved around the small living room. "He mentioned he hasn't seen much of you lately."

"We literally live together," you shot back.

"Yeah, well, sharing a roof don't mean you're actually in the same room," Tommy countered, a small smirk playing under his blonde beard. "What are you, avoiding him?"

"I'm not avoiding him," you muttered, keeping your eyes on the blanket you were smoothing down. "Just busy."

"Right. Busy," Tommy repeated, a knowing chuckle in his voice. "He's just worried about you."

"I'm just tired," you said softly, finally stacking the last blanket on the arm of the chair. "The greenhouse's been a nightmare this week. Half the irrigation pipes froze up on Tuesday, and the tomatoes are barely hanging on."

You stood there for a moment, letting the quiet settle between you.

Winter was fast approaching, and in Jackson, that meant the real trial was only about to begin. The upcoming drop in temperature meant twice the amount of work down at the community greenhouses — the glass panels needed extra insulation to protect the fragile crops from the impending mountain frost, and there was a narrow window left to harvest the final yield and catalog the seeds for next spring's planting before the ground froze solid.

"You need to catch a break, girl," Tommy said after a while, his expression softening as he leaned back against the cushions. "You'll work yourself to death."

"Well, if I die, bury me under the apple trees," you shot back with a faint smirk, wiping a strand of hair from your forehead. "The human body makes great compost. At least I'd finally be useful to the soil."

Tommy shook his head, laughing, a loud, genuine sound that filled the house. "Jesus."

"So… did you actually need something or did you just want to come in here and critique my relationship and my funeral plans?" you asked, turning around with your hands on your hips, giving him an amused look.

Tommy chuckled again, holding his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright. I'm actually heading out to check on the hydroelectric dam. Colton and the boys are down there right now. Said they're going to try to start the turbines today, see if we can get proper power running through the town."

You raised an eyebrow, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. "What do you need me there for? I don't know a single thing about it."

"C'mon," Tommy chuckled, pushing himself up from the couch. "It’s a beautiful afternoon, the trails are clear, and I figured you could use some fresh air, get out of your own head for a few hours before you actually bury yourself under those apples."

You hesitated for a moment. The laundry was still waiting, and there was always more prep work to do before the November snow, but the thought of spending the rest of your afternoon staring at these four walls suddenly felt incredibly boring compared to the open trail. You needed a break.

"Besides, Colton would probably love to see your face out there," Tommy teased, giving you a playful nudge with his shoulder as he walked past.

"Okay, fine," you exhaled after a second, a small smile breaking through. "Give me two minutes to change."

"Take your time," Tommy chuckled, tapping the wooden frame of the front door as he stepped out onto the porch. "I'll go get the horses ready."

[eyeamanearthling]

Then eye put my hands in rich soil, and became Light again ♡

[dbaydenny]

Rich the loamy soil

settling in winter's still bed

waits for spring touched seeds.

D W Eldred

[l0ngdog]

chapter 3

rich soil | joel miller

summary: Jackson was a miracle in a dying world, a peace you had earned by walking away from Joel Miller. tags: +18, SMUT, NSFW, lovers to enemies to lovers (kinda?), cheating, mutual pining, fluff, age gap, romance (eventual), hurt, violence, blood, angst

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | RS MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

AO3 | WATTPAD

b e t w e e n  2 0 1 3  a n d  2 0 2 3

The rain outside the Boston Quarantine Zone never really stopped. For hours, the four of you had been crawling through the remains of collapsed buildings, dragging heavy bags filled with found medical supplies. The straps dug mercilessly into your shoulders, and the damp cold had long since leaked through the seams of your boots, turning every step into a squelch.

Tommy was walking just a half-step behind you with his rifle slung low over his chest. His eyes occasionally flicked from the dark window frames above to the back of your wet jacket.

"You doing okay with that weight?" he asked, nodding his head at your bags.

"I'm fine," you murmured, keeping your voice low as you entered the gloom of the ruined building. "Just ready to be out of the rain."

"Well, holler if you need me to carry ‘em for you," Tommy muttered, his mouth twisting into a playful smirk. He gave you a casual, reassuring nudge with his elbow as the path narrowed between two rusted cars. "I’m chivalrous like that, y’know. Raised right. You’re very lucky to have me keeping you company."

From a few paces ahead, Tess let out a sharp, amused snort without bothering to turn her head around. She kept her eyes locked on the dark opening of the old department store ahead, her boots stepping over a pile of shattered glass with practiced ease.

"Don't let him fool you," Tess called back. "The last time he tried to play the gentleman and carry a pack, he dropped half our ammunition into a flooded basement."

"C’mon, that was one time," Tommy protested. "Nothin’ like that happened again."

"It did actually," you cut in. "Three months ago, I think."

You saw Tess finally glancing over her shoulder, laughing under her breath at the younger Miller.

Tommy shot you a betrayed look, clutching his heart theatrically. "Women," he sighed. "They will remember every mistake you make and throw it in your face for the rest of your life. Ain’t that right, Joel?"

Joel, however, wasn't participating in the slightest. He kept his distance from you, like a man utterly isolated in his own skin, at the very front, hunched under the weight of his own backpack. His gaze constantly scanned the empty buildings, but his jaw clenched a little tighter with each word.

“Focus,” was all he said. It sounded flat and almost inaudible, but there was still a hint of irritation in his voice.

You turned your focus back on the path. The quiet murmur of the conversation with Tess and Tommy acted like a balm on your mounting exhaustion. You had been marching for so many hours that the muscles in your neck had long since gone rigid under the heavy weight of your backpack.

"Hey," Tess’s raspy voice broke through your flood of grim thoughts. You felt the firm squeeze of her hand on your shoulder. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," you sighed, though your voice didn’t sound convincing at all, even to you. "Just... I'd really like to get out of this miserable rain."

You reached up to brush away another wet strand of hair plastered to your forehead, cursing silently. You'd have to cut it again soon. At its current length, some of the layers kept slipping from your braid, whipping constantly across your eyes. On any other day, it would have been a minor annoyance, but today, with the rain blinding you and the mud pulling at your boots, a split second of distraction could cost you your life. You needed to keep your wits about you, not spend every step fighting your own hair.

“I can help you cut it later,” the woman said.

You nodded, sending her a thankful smile.

Tess was tough. You had watched her handle business and eliminate threats in the QZ without so much as blinking. She could be dangerous enough to occasionally terrify even you. Yet, there were moments when understanding and protectiveness slipped through the cracks of her armored shell.

It wasn’t long before you realized your planned route was gone. The path you'd taken just a few weeks ago was now completely blocked. Last time, however, you'd easily managed to squeeze through the rubble and cars. Now, however, you found that the remains of a second-story wall from a nearby building had given way.

Forced to double back, you had to take a detour. Joel, without so much as a backward glance, led your group through the skeleton of an abandoned restaurant.

A crooked, rusted tin sign with a faded drawing of a lobster hung askew over the entrance. The windows were entirely blown out, and the heavy metal frame of the sign groaned, tilting dangerously above the door. It looked like it was one gust of wind away from crashing down and making the kind of racket you absolutely couldn't afford out here.

Inside, the place looked like every other ruin. Anything of value had been scavenged decades ago. Overturned tables, splintered chairs and rotting floorboards stained with old blood that had dried into a dark black.

You stepped inside, picking your way carefully through the debris and navigating the overturned furniture.

"Looks cozy," Tommy murmured with a quiet chuckle, pausing for a second beside one of the ruined booths. "Might've brought a girl here on a date once upon a time."

You snorted, shaking your head at his jokes. Walking past a shattered glass counter, you caught sight of a tattered menu half-buried in the grime. You picked it up, brushing a layer of dust off the cover with your thumb. Amazingly, the print was still legible.

"Never had a steak," you murmured after a beat, tracing your finger over the yellowed print. "Ugh, I would kill for a steak right now."

A wave of dark irony hit you. The truth was, you had already done much worse just to stay alive.

Tommy, still chuckling, glanced back over his shoulder, resting his hand on his rifle sling. "Never?"

"Never. I actually had it written down in my journal, on my bucket list," you sighed, feeling a sudden ache in your empty stomach. "Shame the end of the world got in the way."

There were so many options on the menu you would’ve eaten every single one of them. Your stomach rumbled and your mouth immediately watered as your eyes drifted to the faded, peeling posters on the wall showcasing pictures of food. You dropped the ruined menu back into the dirt, trying to spare yourself the mental torture.

"Well," Tommy muttered, offering a playful wink. "If we make it back to the QZ without drowning first, I am personally taking you out for a steak."

"Right," you chuckled. "Whatever you say, playboy."

You started toward the back of the kitchen, praying the rear exit wasn't caved in. Joel and Tommy threw their shoulders against the rusted metal emergency exit. You stepped out into a narrow, shadow-drenched alley hemmed in by towering brick walls. You had never set foot in this part of the city, yet Joel moved ahead without a trace of hesitation, navigating the labyrinth as if he had mapped it in his sleep.

"Watch your step," Joel grunted. He didn't even bother looking back at any of you.

The man was a walking grievance. He was always so thoroughly annoyed by everything and dealing with his moods was more exhausting than the five-hour march in soaked boots. After all this time, you should have been used to it, but his icy silence and simmering irritability still managed to siphon away whatever energy you had left. You couldn't remember the last time you'd seen a smile on his face - a real, genuine smile. Joel went out of his way to make sure you never forgot your place, treating you like nothing more than a liability he was forced to drag along.

Walking between the two brothers, the contrast was almost physically painful. Despite all the absolute hell they had survived, Tommy had somehow managed to hold onto his humanity. There was still a flicker of warmth in his eyes, a remnant of that easygoing, flirtatious Texas charm he’d carried before the world fell apart.

But Joel had turned completely inside out. It was hard to blame him, of course. Even for you, Sarah's death had been a haunting trauma, and you couldn't begin to fathom the kind of nightmare it had left inside Joel's chest. Yet, that didn't change the fact that his endless frustration always seemed to find its outlet in you. It felt like a slap in the face every single time you tried to simply just  breathe in his presence.

Having been forced off your path, you had to scramble through the decaying remains of another office complex to try and loop back to your original route.

Tommy caught up to your side, leaning in with that easy, lazy grin of his. He didn't even bother trying to keep his voice down.

“Now that I’m thinking,” Tommy murmured, bumping his shoulder playfully against yours. “I could give ya something a hell of a lot better than a steak. Just depends on what kind of hunger we’re talking about.”

“Oh my God,” you laughed, rolling your eyes but unable to keep the grin off your face.

You took a step forward, still chuckling at him. Your boot came down on a patch of wet, spongy moss that, in the dim light, looked no different from the rest of the rotted floorboards you had been crossing for the last hour.

Until you felt it vanish beneath you.

It happened too fast for you to even gasp, let alone scream.

A white-hot, tearing agony instantly flared in your right thigh as a jagged piece of fractured rebar ripped through your denim trousers, driving into the muscle.

"Shit!"

Hanging with one leg dangling in the hole, you desperately dug your forearms into the edge of the splintering wood, clawing for any shred of balance.

The vibrations of the collapsing floor echoed through the hollow skeleton of the building, sounding loud as a goddamn explosion in the dead silence of the ruins.

You heard the heavy clatter of Tommy's rifle as he tossed it onto the wet floorboards without a second thought. Instantly, his hands were on you, grabbing your shoulders with a white-knuckled grip to haul you up before the rest of the ceiling caved under your combined weight.

"Easy, easy. Don't wrench it," he muttered, his voice shaking just a fraction as he knelt right on the crumbling edge, entirely ignoring the cold mud soaking through his pants.

You could feel the dark blood already soaking through the torn fabric of your jeans. The pain was sick and nauseating, blurring the edges of your vision into a static gray. You clenched your teeth so hard they ground against each other, desperately stifling the scream of agony tearing its way out of your throat.

"What the hell did I just say?!"

Joel's voice sliced through the musty air of the archive like a cold blade. It was pure fury. He stood over you both like an executioner. He didn't make a single move to help.

"Joel..." Tommy started, his head snapping up as he glared at his brother from the floor.

"No," Joel cut him off instantly. The tone of his voice made it clear his razor-thin patience was completely shot. "I told you to watch your damn step."

"It looked... it looked solid, Joel," you managed to wheeze out, your chest heaving in shallow, ragged pants as you fought to breathe through the throbbing heat in your leg. Sweat, mixed with cold rain, was already stinging your eyes and dripping down your temples. "I didn't see the rust under the moss."

"Then look closer next time," Joel growled, cutting off any further excuse.

He still wouldn't even look down at you. His gaze remained glued to the rainy alleyway framed by the shattered window, scanning it for any sign that the fall or your muffled cry had given your position away to whatever was rotting in the dark.

“Now we wait until the infected-”

"Joel, that's enough," Tess cut in, stepping closer to put herself between you.

You had to get your leg out of this trap, no matter what.

Clenching your jaw until your teeth ached, you braced your weight on your good leg and hands against a sturdier patch of flooring. Inch by agonizing inch, you tried to angle your thigh, desperate to ensure that the rusted piece of rebar didn't drive deeper or tear the muscle to shreds with the slightest shift.

With the younger Miller guiding your every move with tense care, you finally managed to slide your leg free. Tommy let out a shaky breath, worrying washing over his face as he immediately went to work on the wound. His hands trembled slightly as he applied pressure to the torn flesh.

"Doesn't look too deep... but it's bleeding like a motherfucker," he muttered under his breath.

Both Joel and Tess watched. Tess stood with knitted brows, unable to hide the deep concern in her eyes. Joel, on the other hand... Joel only stood there, his face completely indifferent yet, true to form, absolutely pissed off.

"It was an accident. The floorboards are rotted out and buckled everywhere," Tess said, keeping her voice even and rational, trying to diffuse the tension. "This could have happened to any of us."

"But it didn't happen to any of us," Joel shot back, stepping around Tess just enough to glare down at the two of you with pure bitterness. "It happened because you weren't paying attention. Giggling behind us like schoolkids."

Tommy didn't say a word, but you could see the vein throbbing violently at his temple. His patience was entirely spent too. Still, he managed to ignore his brother for now and focus on your thigh. Tommy pulled a stained piece of cloth from his pocket, wrapped it tight around the tear in your flesh and tied the knot with one brutal, aggressive jerk that made your teeth rattle.

Then, he slapped his hands against his knees and stood up, squaring his shoulders right in front of his older brother.

"She's bleeding, Joel, and all you can do is stand there and run your goddamn mouth?” Tommy growled. Wiping your blood from his hand onto his trousers, he didn't break eye contact with his brother for even a second.

"She's bleeding all over the floor," Joel spat back, pointing an accusing finger at the dark stain on your jeans. "The smell’s gonna bring every infected within two blocks straight down on us."

In the meantime, Tess knelt to your level. "Can you stand?"

"I can walk," you said, raising your voice just enough to make sure both brothers heard you over the rain.

You reached out, grabbing Tess's hand. Your good leg took the brunt of your weight as you hauled yourself up, the freshly tied cloth on your thigh instantly throbbing with pain. The agony made your head spin, but there was no way in hell you were going to sit on the floor while the men used you as an excuse to rip into each other.

You stared straight at Joel, your voice trembling from the effort of staying on your feet. "Thanks for caring, Joel."

Joel froze. His gaze snapped away from Tommy and locked onto you. His eyes narrowed in a mix of disbelief and pure fury, his blood finally boiling over after hours of trekking through the rain and listening to the mindless chatter behind him.

"You really think I don't give a shit?" he growled, taking a heavy step toward you. He stepped in so close he loomed over you, his hot, heavy breath hitting your face. "If I didn't care about getting you out of here alive, I would’ve left you in that hole and kept walking. Saved myself the goddamn trouble."

The words hit you harder than the fall, settling in the pit of your stomach like a lead weight. A sharp, hot sting pricked behind your eyes. You blinked away the burn desperately, refusing to let a single tear fall in front of him. You cast your eyes down to the floorboards, swallowing hard to stifle the rising tide of shame and pain tightening your throat.

"We’re leaving," Joel spat. The absolute finality in his voice left no room for debate.

His heavy boots thudded against the floor as he turned his back on you without another word, heading toward the decaying back stairs.

"Tommy, grab her bag," he tossed over his shoulder, not even slowing his pace. "If she starts lagging, you’re the one dragging her through the mud. And for Christ’s sake, keep your mouths shut this time."

p r e s e n t

The horses moved with a light, rhythmic gait along the rocky bank of the river. Their hooves clicked steadily against the stones, and the crisp mountain air carried the scent of damp earth and pine needles.

You gently pulled the reins, bringing your horse to a stop near a patch of wild brush.

"Need a break already?" Tommy teased, slowing his pace and looking back over his shoulder.

"No, look over there," you pointed toward a patch of exposed earth right by the river’s current, where the summer vegetation had withered, creating a rich, dark mulch. "It’s the perfect time to harvest, before the frost completely ruins the seeds."

"So cutting weeds again?" Tommy tossed out.

He stopped his horse and watched you dismount with an amused, patient expression. You let the reins hang loose, allowing your chestnut to graze freely on the dry grass. You knelt directly in the damp mud, completely ignoring the cold that immediately soaked through the fabric at your knees.

"These aren't weeds, smart-ass. It's chamomile," you shot back. "When your stomach starts hurting again from some bootleg moonshine, you’ll come crying to me to brew you some tea.”

Tommy chuckled.

Carefully, using a small, worn pocketknife, you began cutting the dried seed heads of the wild herbs. You tucked them into separate canvas pouches, stuffed them deep into your backpack. You noted the location and a brief remark in your journal.

"What would we ever do without ya?" Tommy muttered under his breath.

"You'd die of a simple indigestion," you retorted with a slight smile, pocketing the notebook.

"Oh, right," he remembered suddenly, straightening in his saddle. "I found another book on plants for you on my last patrol," he said. "I'll bring it to you when we get back. So much s’been going on lately that it completely slipped my mind."

"How are patrols anyway?" you asked, grabbing the leather reins and preparing to climb back onto your saddle. Your chestnut neighed softly in greeting as you approached his side, rubbing his nose against your shoulder. “Anything interesting?"

"No major issues," he sighed, though his gaze drifted for a moment toward the tree line. "Though the guys found a fresh campsite about nine miles from Jackson. A cold campfire, empty cans."

You patted your horse’s neck, slipped your boot into the stirrup and pulled yourself onto the animal's back.

"A group? Raiders?" You felt your body instinctively tense up at the mere thought.

"No, probably just passing through. Two, maybe three people," he said. "Maria had us reinforce the guards at the south gate, just in case."

You nodded in silence. These days, no one took strangers lightly, especially so close to a haven like Jackson.

As the horses fell into a walk side-by-side, you adjusted your grip on the cold leather of the reins. The question that had been lingering in your mind for a long time suddenly slipped out of your mouth without warning.

"Do you ever think about Joel?"

The light atmosphere that had filled the trail just moments ago vanished in a split second.

Tommy didn’t answer right away. For a long moment, his gaze remained fixed on the distant, snow-capped mountain peaks. You could see the muscle in his jaw clench tightly and his shoulders stiffen under his jacket before he finally let out a resigned breath through his nose.

"Every day," he answered quietly.

"Yeah," you murmured. "Me too."

Tommy nudged his reins slightly, guiding his horse a bit closer. His gently squinted eyes intensely studied your profile. "Is he the one taking up your thoughts lately?"

"What?" You blinked rapidly, quickly shaking your head. "No."

You looked down at the rushing, foaming current beneath you. For a fraction of a second, memories of Boston flashed before your eyes. You could almost smell the damp, musty air of the dark alleys in the QZ again.

"Just... sometimes I wonder how he's doing. If he's even still there. In Boston or… anywhere."

"Ten years is a hell of a long time to wonder if someone is lying dead in a ditch or if he's just gotten even meaner than he used to be," Tommy said, his voice entirely stripped of the easygoing banter he’d been throwing around minutes earlier. "But I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it myself.”

For a brief moment, the only sound that could be heard was the rhythmic clop of the horses' hooves. Tommy's gaze remained fixed on the trail ahead, his expression unreadable, as if lost in thought. A sudden pang of regret hitting you, making you want to apologize for bringing Joel up. It wasn't like it was some taboo topic between you two, but it for sure stirred up a lot of emotion, no matter how hard Tommy tried to hide it.

Yet, you knew Tommy didn't regret leaving his brother for a single second. Not even when your time with the Fireflies fell apart or when the two of you were half-starved, shivering in the woods, or scraping by in the ruins of abandoned towns. Sure, the four of you, with Joel and Tess, would have been a hell of a lot safer. But leaving Boston - and specifically the older brother - was necessary. And you and Tommy both knew it.

“Sometimes I wonder if he ever looked for us,” Tommy signed after a moment. “But you know Joel. He probably figured that since we left, it was our own funeral. Maybe he was relieved he had two fewer mouths to feed."

The leather of your saddle creaked softly as you shifted your weight. You hummed, not sure how to answer. Another moment of silence stretched out, the rushing sound of the river and the horses filling the quiet space between you. 

"I really thought he wanted to leave me behind,” you murmured. “Back then, when I messed up my leg on that damn rebar."

Tommy shook his head.

"Nah, he wouldn't have," he replied. "But yeah, he sure as hell made you feel like trash for breathing his air. Joel had a way of turning every favor into a debt you couldn't ever pay off."

You remained silent, letting those words sink deep into your mind. With the perspective of time in the safety of Jackson, it hit you how incredibly absurd it was - how much energy and emotion you had wasted desperately trying to win the approval of such a deeply broken, angry-at-the-world man.

You remembered every tear you had secretly wiped away in the corner of the cramped apartment in the QZ, just so Joel wouldn't see any weakness. Every silent, desperate urge to prove to him that you weren't a burden. That you deserved to be there with them.

Suddenly, completely out of nowhere, a short laugh escaped your lips before you could choke it back.

Tommy raised his eyebrows, glancing at you with genuine surprise. "What's so funny?"

"I just remembered how pathetic I was," you began, and the whole confession felt so ridiculous in that moment that your cheeks started to burn. "You... you know I had a massive crush on him when I was a teenager, right?"

Tommy didn’t even hesitate. He simply leaned over the horn of his saddle, and a slow, knowing grin spread beneath his blonde beard. "I think everybody knew, kid.”

"Oh, shut up," you groaned, immediately turning your head to hide the hot blush that instantly rushed to your face. "It was a phase."

"A phase? Darlin’, you had it bad," Tommy teased. He adjusted his grip on the leather reins, looking at you with a chuckle. "At all those barbeques or when you'd come over to babysit Sarah, then later in Bost-"

"I did not have a crush on him anymore in Boston!" you protested, feeling like you were about to burn up from embarrassment.

"Oh, yes, you did,” Tommy grinned, shaking his head. "What is it with y’all, women, having a thing for grumpy, old men, anyway?"

"Alright, drop it," you huffed. "He was handsome, that’s it."

"That’s why you went for his brother?"

Your mouth gaped, an amused gasp slipping out.

"Shut up. I was just… using you," you laughed, shrugging your shoulders and playing unbothered. "Us sleeping together had nothing to do with Joel."

"Oh, sure," he snorted under his breath, smiling under his mustache. "Anyway, Tess brought it up to him once, you know, as a joke."

You snapped your head in his direction, your eyes wide with a mix of pure horror and absolute disbelief. "She did not."

"Oh, she did," Tommy said, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he remembered. "Tess told me about it once, after you'd gone to sleep following one of our arguments," he continued. "She walked up to Joel, shoved him on the shoulder and said: 'Listen, cowboy, that girl looks at you like you're some kind of god, so either do something about it or at least stop growling at her every time she looks your way.'"

"Oh, no."

"And do you want to know what my brilliant brother said?" Tommy asked. "Nothin’. Went right back to cleaning his gun."

"Oh my God..." You buried your face in your hands, a loud, embarrassed laugh escaping through your fingers. You wanted the earth to swallow you whole, even now, after all these years and in a completely different life.

"Don't worry about it," Tommy added in a gentler tone. "You dodged a massive bullet, kid."

"Yeah," you murmured, the embarrassment slightly beginning to fade. "Yeah, I know."

Tommy let out a quiet breath, his eyes scanning the rocky path ahead before he spoke again.

"Colton’s a good man," he said. "He cares about people, he actually enjoys being around 'em. He's... emotionally available or whatever it is Maria calls it. Trust me, if you’re having second thoughts about marrying him because of Joel-”

“I wasn’t!” you cut in defensively. You cleared your throat. “You know what, nevermind.”

Tommy snorted under his breath, a smirk playing on his lips, but he didn't press any further. He knew when to let a subject lie. He didn't say another word and the rest of the journey passed in a comfortable silence.

You swore you hadn't once thought about Joel in connection with the upcoming wedding. Not in this context. At least not until now. 

For ten long years, Joel treated you like air. He had driven you absolutely mad, and at times you genuinely believed you hated him. You hated his silence, his dismissive grunts and the way he made you feel like a liability. You had spent your youth begging for a single crumb of his acknowledgment, only to be met with nothing else but indifference.

But somewhere, buried deep beneath the scars of the last twenty years, you still carried the gilded memory of the other Joel. The one before the world fell apart. Back when he had trusted you, even though you were just a teenager who could barely keep track of her own shoes.

Colton was everything Tommy said he was. He didn’t make you feel like you had to constantly prove your worth to earn his attention and affection.

But as your horse stepped along the path, you couldn’t shake the aching feeling. Like you were still, after all the years, grieving the man who had smiled at you in Texas and died the very same night the world did.

Carrying that phantom into your future felt like a betrayal. A disloyalty to Colton, who loved you without condition and a disloyalty to yourself, as you’d fought with all your might to finally crawl out from under the crushing weight of Joel’s shadow.

The horses soon cleared the last line of trees. Tommy stretched out his arm, pointing a gloved hand toward the view unfolding ahead of you. From this distance, the massive gates of the hydroelectric dam were clearly visible, and the roar of the river now mingled with the muffled shouts of workers and the metallic clanking of tools.

"Time to get to work,” he sighed as you picked up the pace.

[gardendrifts]

Learn How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps!

Learn How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps!. Looking to start your own garden and want to make sure your plants have the best soil?

How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps

Learn how to make your own soil with just a few simple steps. It's easy, cost-effective, and will ensure your plants have the perfect nutrients for healthy growth. Follow these guidelines and you'll have your own homemade soil in no time!

Learn How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps!

Learn How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps!. few simple steps Learn How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps!

Make Your Own Soil: A Step-by-Step Guide

Whether you're an avid gardener or just starting to develop your green thumb, having the right type of soil is crucial for successful planting. However, store-bought soil can be expensive and may not always have the necessary nutrients for your plants. That's where making your own soil comes in. Not only is it cost-effective, but it also allows you to customize the soil to meet the needs of your specific plants. In this article, we'll provide a detailed guide on how to make your own soil, using easily accessible and natural ingredients.

Understanding the Basics of Soil

Before we dive into the steps of making your own soil, it's important to understand the different components that make up soil. Soil is made up of three key elements How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps: sand, silt, and clay. Each of these components serves a different purpose in the growth of plants.

Gathering Materials

To make your own soil, you'll need the following materials:

Compost materials (such as household food scraps, yard waste, or manure)

Topsoil or garden soil

Peat moss

Perlite or vermiculite

Sand

Fertilizer

Large container or bin

Shovel or garden trowel

Step 1: Composting

The first step to making your own soil is to collect compost materials. Compost is the key ingredient in homemade soil, as it provides essential nutrients and helps improve the soil's texture How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps. You can use a variety of materials for composting, including kitchen scraps, yard waste, and manure.

To start composting, choose a container or bin to hold your compost. This can be a simple plastic bin or a designated outdoor area in your backyard. Add your compost materials in layers, alternating between green materials (such as fruit and vegetable scraps) and brown materials (such as leaves and twigs). Keep the compost moist by watering it regularly and mix it every few weeks to aid in the decomposition process.

Step 2: Mix in Topsoil

After a few months of composting, your compost materials should have broken down into a rich, dark soil. This is now ready to be mixed in with topsoil. Topsoil is typically the uppermost layer of soil that contains a good mix of sand, silt, and clay. This addition will help provide structure to your homemade soil and improve its water retention.

For every one part of compost, mix in three parts of topsoil. Use a shovel or garden trowel to combine the two materials thoroughly.

Step 3: Add Peat Moss

Peat moss is a type of moss that is commonly used as a soil amendment. It helps retain water and provides aeration to the soil. Mix in one part of peat moss for every four parts of the compost and topsoil mixture.

Step 4: Incorporate Perlite or Vermiculite

Perlite and vermiculite are both lightweight minerals that are often used as soil amendments. They help improve drainage and aeration in the soil How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps. Add one part of perlite or vermiculite for every six parts of the compost, topsoil, and peat moss mixture.

Step 5: Add Sand

Adding sand to your homemade soil can help improve its drainage and prevent it from becoming too compacted. However, it's important to only use coarse or builder's sand and not fine sand, as fine sand can create a hard layer that hinders water and root penetration.

Add one part of sand for every nine parts of the compost, topsoil, peat moss, and perlite or vermiculite mixture. Mix thoroughly.

Step 6: Incorporate Fertilizer

Fertilizer is added to homemade soil to provide essential nutrients for plant growth. You can use organic or synthetic fertilizers, but be sure to follow the instructions on the package for the correct amount to use based on your soil mixture.

Add the fertilizer on top of your soil mixture and mix it in thoroughly.

Step 7: Test and Adjust

Once all the ingredients are mixed together, it's important to test your homemade soil to ensure it has the correct pH level and nutrients for your plants How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps. You can purchase a DIY soil tester or send a sample of your soil to a local university or extension office for analysis.

Based on the results, you may need to make some adjustments to your homemade soil. For example, if the pH level is too high, you can add some sulfur or peat moss to lower it. If it's too low, add some lime. If your soil is lacking specific nutrients, you can adjust the fertilizers accordingly.

Using Your Homemade Soil

Now that your homemade soil is ready, you can use it for planting. It is suitable for both indoor and outdoor plants and can be used for a variety of gardening purposes, such as container gardening, raised beds, or in-ground planting.

Remember to water your plants regularly and add some organic matter, such as mulch, to the top layer of soil to provide additional nutrients and retain moisture.

Final Thoughts

Making your own soil is not only cost-effective, but it also allows you to create a customized blend for your specific plants. By following these steps, you can make nutrient-rich soil that will promote healthy plant growth and help you achieve a successful harvest. So, gather your materials and get started on making your own soil for a more fulfilling gardening experience!

Learn How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps!

Looking to start your own garden and want to make sure your plants have the best soil? Learn how to make your own soil with just a few simple steps. It's easy, cost-effective, and will ensure your plants have the perfect nutrients for healthy growth. Follow these guidelines and you'll have your own homemade soil in no time!. Soil Learn How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps!

HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN SOIL.....

Learn How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps! HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN SOIL..... Video Learn How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps!

What is Soil?

Soil is the foundation of all life on Earth. It is a complex mixture of minerals, organic matter, and living organisms that provides nutrients and support to plants. Soil is also responsible for storing and filtering water, stabilizing the Earth's surface, and playing a crucial role in the carbon cycle. Healthy soil is vital for sustainable agriculture and food production. However How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps, obtaining the perfect blend of soil can be expensive and time-consuming. Thankfully, making your own soil is a simple and cost-effective solution that can be personalized to meet your specific needs. In this article, we will discuss everything you need to know about making your own soil.

Why Make Your Own Soil?

There are several reasons why you might want to make your own soil. For starters, it allows you to customize the soil composition based on the specific needs of your plants. Different plants have different nutrient requirements, and by making your own soil, you can ensure that your plants receive the necessary nutrients to thrive. Additionally, purchasing commercial soils can be expensive, and making your own can save you a substantial amount of money in the long run.

What You Will Need

To make your own soil, you will need the following materials:

Compost or organic matter

Vermiculite or perlite

Topsoil or peat moss

Optional: additional amendments such as bone meal, blood meal, or bat guano

Gardening tools such as a shovel or trowel

Container or designated area for mixing

Step-By-Step Guide

Gather Your Materials

The first step in making your own soil is to gather all the necessary materials. Make sure you have enough compost, vermiculite or perlite, and topsoil or peat moss to create the desired amount of soil for your plants. Optional amendments can also be beneficial, but they are not necessary for basic soil mixtures.

Prepare Your Container or Designated Area

Once you have all your materials, prepare a container or designated area for mixing. This could be a large bin, a wheelbarrow, or any designated area in your garden. It is essential to have a large enough space to mix the materials properly and make the process more manageable.

Mix the Ingredients

Now it's time to start mixing your soil. Begin by adding equal parts of compost and topsoil or peat moss to your container or designated area. Add enough vermiculite or perlite to make up one-third of the total mixture. If you are using optional amendments, add them at this time. Use your gardening tools to thoroughly mix all of the ingredients together.

Test and Adjust

Once the ingredients are mixed, it's essential to test the soil's pH levels to ensure it is suitable for your plants. You can use a pH testing kit or take a sample to your local gardening center for testing. If the pH level is not ideal for your plants, you can adjust it by adding lime to raise the pH or sulfur to lower it.

Store the Soil

After testing and adjusting the pH level, your soil is now ready to be used. If you have any leftover soil, store it in a container with a lid or in a designated area with a covering to keep it dry. This soil can be saved and used for future planting.

Benefits of Making Your Own Soil

Cost-Effective

Making your own soil can save you a significant amount of money in the long run. Instead of purchasing expensive commercial soils, you can customize your mixture using affordable materials. Additionally, by making large batches of soil, you can also save money on packaging and transportation costs.

Personalization

As mentioned earlier, different plants have different nutrient requirements. By making your own soil, you can customize the soil composition to meet the specific needs of your plants. This can lead to healthier and more productive plants.

Reusable Ingredients

Making your own soil allows you to reuse compost and other organic matter from your garden. This is not only environmentally friendly but also saves you money and reduces waste.

Better for the Environment

Commercial soils often contain harmful chemicals and additives that can be harmful to the environment. By making your own soil using organic and sustainable materials, you can promote a healthier and more natural environment.

Tips and Tricks for Making Your Own Soil

Use Quality Ingredients

The quality of your soil will ultimately depend on the quality of the ingredients used. Be sure to use high-quality compost, vermiculite or perlite, and topsoil or peat moss for the best results.

Monitor pH Levels

Regularly test and monitor the pH levels of your soil to ensure it is suitable for your plants. Adjust the levels as needed to promote optimal plant growth.

Experiment with Different Mixtures

Don't be afraid to try different combinations and ratios of ingredients to find the perfect mixture for your plants. Every garden is unique, and what works for one plant may not work for another.

Conclusion

Making your own soil is a simple and cost-effective way to promote healthy and sustainable gardening. By using high-quality ingredients and regularly testing and adjusting the pH levels, you can create a personalized soil mixture to meet the specific needs of your plants. Experiment with different mixtures and ratios to find the perfect blend for your garden. With a little bit of effort and the right materials, you can create a foundation for your plants to thrive and grow. Happy gardening! Learn How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps!

What materials do I need to make my own soil?

To create your own soil, you will need compost, sand, topsoil, peat moss, and perlite or vermiculite.

How do I mix the ingredients to make my own soil?

Start by combining equal parts of topsoil and compost. Then, add in a little bit of sand for drainage and peat moss for moisture retention. Finally, mix in some perlite or vermiculite for aeration.

Can I use materials from my yard to make my own soil?

Absolutely! You can use grass clippings, leaves, or other organic materials from your yard to create rich compost for your homemade soil mixture.

Do I need any special equipment to make my own soil?

No, you do not need any special equipment. A simple shovel, rake, and wheelbarrow will do the job. However, a compost bin can be helpful for creating your own compost.

How long does it take to make my own soil?

It typically takes 2-3 months for your homemade soil to be fully mature and ready for use. However, it can vary depending on the ingredients used and the climate.

Can I customize my own soil for specific plants?

Yes, you can tailor your homemade soil to the needs of specific plants. For example, you can add more sand for better drainage for cacti or increase the amount of compost for nutrient-rich soil for vegetables.

Can I store my homemade soil for later use?

Yes, you can store your DIY soil in a dry, airtight container for future use. Just make sure to keep it in a cool, dry place to prevent any mold or mildew growth.

How often should I water plants in homemade soil?

The watering frequency will depend on the specific plants you are growing, but in general, you should water when the top inch of soil is dry. Homemade soil is typically more moisture-retentive, so be careful not to over-water.

Can I reuse my homemade soil?

Yes, you can reuse your homemade soil for multiple planting seasons. However, it's important to refresh the soil by adding more compost and nutrients before each use.

Are there any disadvantages to making your own soil?

One potential disadvantage is that it can take more time and effort to create and maintain homemade soil compared to purchasing pre-made soil. Also, the nutrient levels in homemade soil can vary and may not be as consistent as store-bought options. Learn How to Make Your Own Nutrient-Rich Soil in Just 5 Easy Steps!

[iueds]

Importance of Soil Thermometer And Its Uses - Education - Iueds

You might have heard of the term soil thermometer and you are wondering what it is all about or probably what it is used for most & its uses.

[ishintouch]

RICH SOIL

[tournesoldansunjardin]

poetic soil (troibun)

There is nothing like the feeling of rich dark soil slip through your fingers when planting a garden. Gloves will only rob you of that sense of life at your fingertips. Think about the erotic sensation of a piece of  cheese cake or decadent truffles; feel the smooth richness on your tongue… arching their bodies nature’s sweet arousal nestling in its moistness in and out, in and out worms…

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