i wanted to love you like my mother's mother's mother did; civilian { au; drabble }
They went back to the Greene farm house. Shane lowered his gun, slowly, and Rick kept his distance behind the bewildered person he once called his best friend. Rick at one point, wanted his best friend back-- the one who he went to college with, who was his best man at his wedding-- not this. This wasn't Shane. This was just.. This wasn't Shane. Rick could repeat it over and over in his head, and every time he did, it sunk in even more. They needed to separate and Rick would regret it, but he really had no other choice. Not at this point. No other option, really.
Rick kept an eye on Shane while they walked, the prestigious friend finally falling from grace. Losing touch on what you had, well, it was something that Dale wouldn't have wanted, but they had finally got there. Rick had a false sense of hope all this time, since the showdown in the school yard, that Shane would bounce back. But now, he was going to force his friend to pack his bags, and just leave.
"Shane. When we get back, I'm helpin' you pack and I want you gone. I want you out of here." Rick finally spoke, his voice horse.
Shane looked back, and shrugged, ."Lemme ask you somethin', Rick. Are y'sure?"
“Yeah, 'm sure.” Rick quietly replied, restraining to make eye contact. It was a sorrowful life, and Rick was forcing his best friend to leave. “Leave, take your separate way. You'll survive. You did perfectly fine without me while I was comatose.” He acknowledged. “Who knows, maybe you'll find some people y'could get along with better.”
“I don't want to hear it.”
Silence fell upon the two, and Shane's pace sped up to the farm house. Rick pushed him up the stairs when Shane paused, hesitating for some reason. He was just trying to buy time that didn't exist now. Stalling, maybe just trying to convince Rick that he belonged with them, that they could all find some way to make it better. The corner's of Rick's mouth twitched and he shoot his head.
“What part of 'I don't want to hear it', d'you fail to comprehend? I ain't changin' my mind. Just like how y'couldn't change your mind about coming after me.” Rick pushed past Shane, opening the door, being greeted by Hershel. He conspicuously restrained eye contact with everyone in the house, pushing his way up the stairs to T-Dog, Daryl, Glenn and Shane's shared room. He heard steps rushing up the stairs, and turned to see Shane enter the room.
"I don't even get any say? What t'hell, Rick?" Shane's voiced filled the room, glaring right at the righteous leader.
"No, 'cause you're gonna argue that we can make it work." Rick Grimes snapped back, glowering at his former friend. "Don't you get it? You screwed my damn wife, y'tried to kill me, you're one of the main reasons why we had to deal with Randall in the first place-"
"Yes! This again, because y'had to open that damn barn and siege fire, Hershel went to damn.. bar where I killed two people because they threatened us." Rick yelled, and silence finally filled the room. He continued to pack Shane's bag, stuffing his shirts in - even finding his badge. He zipped it up, tossing it at his former partner. "You did this to us. This was you, not me."
And Rick let Shane walk out. Just like that. Not saying goodbye was hard, but he really had no other choice.