“ you’re gonna be just fine, i promise ”
{just fuck me up} || not accepting
in a way, it seems in retrospect to have been inevitable. they’d always known they likely wouldn’t live long past thirty, even before the world began falling apart at the seams. they just hadn’t expected it to go like this.
merryn and enelya and blackwall and dorian on the storm coast, beating back darkspawn. both mages casting from a safe distance, blackwall protected behind his shield and swinging a mace, and merryn tearing recklessly into them from behind. for a lone traveler or an inexperienced fighter the spawn might have presented a struggle, but the inquisitor and her party made quick work of the lot of them, sealing tunnel entrances as they went, and they congratulated each other on work well done around the campfire later that night.
daggers meant close contact. daggers meant blood, everywhere, and the fact that it was darkspawn blood (tainted blood) made no difference in the immediacy of the moment. old habits meant carelessly smudging it across cheeks and hands until they were at leisure to wash it off, and not until nearly a week later did it occur to anyone that they might have made a colossal mistake.
they ache. even at their worst, going two or three days without sleep for the sake of keeping nightmares at bay, they have never felt so thoroughly drained, so useless and desperate and resigned all at once. it began with headaches and shaky steps, progressed to nosebleeds and vomiting and fever. it’s been days since they’ve been able to eat anything but broth, and even that never stays down for very long. there are whispers of a raven sent to weisshaupt but after everything that’s happened merryn wonders if they’d accept the joining even if a warden did arrive in time.
bloodshot eyes, not red but black, hands shaking constantly, the sound of a song no one else can hear echoing through the recesses of their mind. gentle hands brushing sweat-damp hair back from their face, pressing a cool cloth to bare skin, and enelya’s melodic voice trembling ever so slightly because she knows. they all know.
“ you can fix a lot, lya, but... you can’t fix this. ”
