GIRLS LIKE GIRLS LIKE BOYS DO NOTHING NEW. supposedly an entry for rika week's day one (nature) but due to lack of time and creativity it didn't turn out nature-ish oops
Swap Rika is Rika, who lost her sun. She was great photographer before, but now she's blind.
Jaehee is her best friend since their childhood. But even she doesn't know the truth about Rika.
"V, you're my sun
And my only wish is to see you again”
When I was drawing it, I wanted to create ask art blog with MysMe swap AU characters. Idk, if someone would like to ask these cutie pies, let me know ^^
pairing: rika/mc
notes: sometimes doubts creep in. for day one of rika week: daily life.
It’s not until Rika reaches over to your side of the bed only to be met with empty air that she realizes that she's woken up alone.
Her hand falls with no small measure of disappointment. She smooths her hand over the slight indentation in the bed next to her. Still warm? Or, maybe that’s wishful thinking.
If she concentrates, she can hear water running over the soft hum of the air conditioning, though she can’t tell if that's the shower or the sink running. You could have been gone for moments, but you might have been up much longer.
There’s a strange twinge of sorrow at that thought. But, what, would she really have preferred that you woke her up before showering just so she wouldn't feel lonely?
...well. Yes, actually.
She has to push her hair out of the way so she push herself up to grab her phone from the bedside table. She huffs softly when she sees the screen, and sets it back down. It’s a good half hour before her alarm is set to go off, and she is alone.
She rolls and spreads out on the bed, pulling your pillow into her arms and resting her chin on it.
Rika hasn’t yet managed to shake the feeling that she has to soak up as much of this as she can, these moments of you -- the scent of you on the pillow, the knowledge that you were sleeping next to her until only recently, and you’ll be here again soon -- because if she doesn’t, if she lets herself slip even a little, that’ll be it.
Whenever she wakes up to find you gone, when you’re late to come home, she feels it -- the cold certainty settling in her stomach, telling her that you’re not coming back.
There’s never anger, never sharp terror, just... hollow resignation. Really, she should be lucky it’s lasted even this long.
She buries her face in the pillow, tightening her grip on it. The comfort of your scent seems to taunt her now.
It doesn’t matter how many times you take her hands in yours and murmur that you won’t leave her, not now, not ever. It doesn’t help to take note of your things intertwined with hers, the calendar you mark shared plans in with joy. It doesn’t stop even after the unbroken streak of you, coming home each night to hold her close.
She’s not sure if that fear will ever stop. Maybe that’s a fitting punishment.
She can’t say it’s not what she would deserve. What she should expect, for that matter, and --
Something new. She pauses, lifting her head and angling to better hear this new noise.
You’re... singing.
Well. Caterwauling, more like. Maybe not intentionally bad, but certainly very loud, and with not very much attention to keeping at a consistent pace, and not... good.
The water shuts off, and she can hear you clearer, now.
And... worse.
Something you’d heard on the radio the other day and couldn’t get out of your head, even though you had no memory of the name of the song, or the artist, or most of the lyrics. What a clever and... loud use of ‘la-dee-dah’s you’re using now.
She laughs into the pillow.
When the bathroom door opens, she turns her head quickly, as if by hiding her face she can hide her thoughts from you.
You’re still humming that tune as you pad softly across the room.
“Good morning, starshine.”
The bed dips as you seat yourself on the edge of it, and then you run your fingers through her hair, combing softly from behind her ear down her back, clearing a space to kiss her cheek.
She leans up into it, quickly winding her arms around you to pull you back when you begin to lean away. You laugh as she snuggles into your chest.
”Careful, babe, I’m still kind of damp.”
Rika only wraps her arms tighter around you, pulling herself closer so she's half in your lap. You resume coming through her hair with your fingers as you say, “I heard back from that bistro on the corner a little while ago. They think they can fit us in next month, a Friday around 6. I know it’s kind of a tight fit with your work, but I figured it might be worth a shot, so I said yes. What d’you think?”
She hums a noncommittal note and you laugh again. “Oh, don't tell me I’m lulling you back to sleep.”
You make as if to peer closer at her, and in that moment, she feels -- guilty, in the face of your easy joy. She averts her eyes.
She can hear more than see your frown. “...okay, babe, is something up? You're being awful quiet.”
She hesitates, and this is evidently enough to incite your worry. “Dreams again?”
Rika winces, but says, “mmm. No.” Not this night, anyway.
”But... something is bothering you," you say. And then you pause. “--me?”
You frown, and Rika wants to cry. She sits up, reaching for you with a faltering hand. “No,” she says, “it's not you, it's--” The idea of living without you. Who she would be if you disappear. The question of if she deserves you, if she deserves anything anymore. Why you stay here with her.
You close your eyes and shake your head. When you look at her again, your gaze is soft. “I love you.”
Her heart flutters, as it does every time you say it, as it might every time you say it from now until -- well, whenever you stop saying it.
You cup her face in your hands, smoothing your thumbs over her cheeks. “And I care about you. So... talk to me? When you're feeling like this...” She clasps her hands over your arms as you continue to stroke her face, a lifeline. “..you shouldn't have to be shouldering it alone. I don't know... what exactly is eating you up right now. But I love you, and I want you to be happy, and if there's any way I can make this easier for you, then -- well. It's always better together, right?”
It’s Rika turn to take your face in her hands now. She studies you, from your sympathetic eyes to the slightly-awkward tilt of your lips, unsure if you've said the right thing. She feels fit to burst with love, and she leans her forehead against yours, closing her eyes against the sudden sting of tears.
“Okay,” she murmurs. There's an urge to stay there, to just hold you as long as possible, but she pulls back with reluctance so she can look you in the eye. “I love you,” she says, barely audible, and her chest aches at the way your smile blooms. “And I’ll... try.” The thought of telling you just how much she fears you leaving is -- not a pleasant one. But... together.
She can't say she's not still worried, at the least, but here, with you, she feels safe and warm.
”...now,” you say, “if you're really angling to spend all day in bed, I can think of something a little more fun to do here--”
And Rika laughs.
“No,” she says, “too much to get done to stay cooped up in here all day.” It's with no small measure of reluctance that she pulls back from you and rises from the bed.
And then she narrows her eyes at you with a smile. “But, maybe later tonight...”
“Oho, is that so?” The hand she presses over her mouth isn't enough to suppress the start of a smile as you perk up in interest.
She tosses a wink over her shoulder as she heads to the bathroom door.
This was written for #rikaweek here on Tumblr! I'm posting this early to get the news out, but also I already want to write more for the first prompt anyways!
She's an amazing character, and I am happy to participate in this! This was written for day one's prompt Daily Life//Nature. You don't have to use both, but I kind of did in mine, but I want to write two for each prompt, one solely focused on Rika's relationship with others, and one solely RikaxMc stuff! I hope a lot of people participate, and let me know what you think! I love Rika and Saeran, so I hope I wrote them with justice.
When I look up at the sky, I think about the past. Not the good parts, not the bad parts, just the moments I was able to look at it. It was blue, I didn’t know it could be anything else for so long. I imagined freedom being the color of the sky.
“Saeran?”
I don’t want to look away from the clouds. I have been laying in the grass for a long time. Sometimes, after physical therapy, I refuse to move. My legs hurt more now than they ever did before. It’s easier to be tied in one spot.
No, wait-
“Saeran, you’ve been outside for hours.”
I don’t want to leave my mind, but suddenly sunshine fills my eyes. No, not sunshine…
“Rika!” I cheer, I always get excited seeing her. She sits down next to me and I sit up to meet her. I know she says I shouldn’t think of her as a hero, but I can’t help it. V and her saved me, they were saviors.
“The sky is very nice today, isn’t it?” She says, and my smile brightens. I don’t smile often. Even when they want me to, I can’t always do it. I have bad thoughts in my head, but I can make them go away when I think about the sky, or or the sun. I like the sun. Saeyoung once said it was made of fire, but I like to think it’s made of flowers instead.
“Isn’t it always nice?” I ask, though I already know the answer. I have seen rain, and I’ve seen fog. But sometimes I pretend they don’t exist. I like playing pretend sometimes. I was really good at it back then.
She chuckles slightly, and I feel accomplished. I want her to tell me the truth, despite already knowing it, and already hating it. But I want it anyways. When Rika tells me things, they have to be true.
“Sometimes it rains and blocks out the sun.” She’s quiet when she says it, and I wonder if I’ve made her sad, don’t be sad! I don’t want to see you sad. I’ll take your sadness away.
“But, then we get rainbows!” Saeyoung once told me what a rainbow looked like, but V is the one who showed me pictures of them, and explained that they are a mix of the rain and the sun. I don’t like rain, but the sun is warm and comforting.
“Ah, I forgot about rainbows.” Rika smiles again. Good. I like it when she smiles.
“The run and the sun, they make something good together, don’t they?” I look back at the sky. Rika used to say the sky was blue because God knew it was the most beautiful color. I don’t agree with that. Rika tells me I should believe in God, that God loves everyone, but how could there be anyone that loves me? And besides, I don’t think blue is the most beautiful. I prefer yellow.
“Saeran, do you like it here?” She asks me this a lot. I don’t like this question.
“I like you.” I say. She always likes that answer, it makes her smile. And I am not disappointed when I see her lips curl up.
“Do you like V?” Why so many questions today? I don’t like talking much, it hurts my throat. I used to make hand signs or knocks on the floor, but I soon realized that only Saeyoung knew what those meant. I start to miss him…
“I like him too, but I wish my brother was here.” I say this a lot, but no one ever tells me where he is. They say they saved him before they saved me, but where was he now? Why couldn’t he be with me?
“Hm…” Rika thinks a moment, a silence falling between us. I know better than to ask where Saeyoung. They say I’m too young, but that he’s thinks of me often. I don’t know why I’m too young to know. I sometimes feel like they think I’m too weak. Just like Mommy…
But then I think better. Because they are better than her. Rika wouldn’t hurt me, she wouldn’t tie me up, or lock me away. She’s warm and kind. She hugs me when I have nightmares or bad thoughts. Even V has rocked me to sleep a few times. It’s embarrassing to think about. I’m getting older. I’m, how old again? I’m nine, right? I forget sometimes. Saeyoung knew how old we were. Without him, I forget things about myself.
I’ve lost in my thoughts for a while, but Rika hasn’t said anything either. Maybe she wants to tell me something?!
“Saeran, imagine Saeyoung like fog.” She suggested. I tilt my head. I try to picture him as a body made of fog, but the image is scary, and I stop, looking back up to the sky.
“It comes with rain, and goes with the sun. If Saeyoung was here, I couldn’t spend all my time with you. If he was here, V couldn’t tuck you in at night, he would have to tuck him in.” She sounds so sincere, but I don’t like her words at all.
“I-I wouldn’t care! I would share you guys with him!” I would share anything with Saeyoung, if only he were here. I miss him so much. I hate that he’s gone.
Rika sighs. I’m not happy with her, but I keep that to myself. I don’t want to lose her love, but I wouldn’t mind sharing it if it meant Saeyoung could come back.
“Saeyoung is somewhere where he can heal, and you are with me, so you can heal.” I want us to heal together.
“Saeran, I know it’s hard for you to understand, but in the future you will see that I’m doing this for you. I want to help you find your own rainbows, and I can’t let fog get in the way.” I don’t quite understand what she’s saying. Sometimes adults compare things to other things to confuse me. I don’t like being confused. But I don’t argue, I know better. Rika would never get mad at me, but I’m still afraid to lose what we have.
I start to rock back and forth a bit. My head hurts. Tears sting my eyes. I’m not angry or upset, but sometimes my emotions don’t work properly. This time it works in my favor anyways. Rika stops talking about nature, and lifts me in her arms. She’s stronger than she looks.
“Don’t cry, it’s okay.” I believe her.
“This world doesn’t understand people like us. But that’s okay, we have each other. We’re a family.” I don’t know what she means by people like us, are we different from others? Is that why Saeyoung can’t be with us? I rest my head on her shoulder. She picks me up because she knows I’ll hurt myself otherwise. Maybe that’s what she means. People who hurt themselves. I’ve seen her do it too. She acts like me, sometimes, even if you couldn’t tell from the way she’s always smiling. I look as dark as I feel, but she feels that way too.
“Rain and Sun makes rainbows Saeran. We’ll make a rainbow together, you and me.” I want to ask if V is part of the family too. He doesn’t hurt himself like me and Rika do. I want V to be with us, but I don’t want him sad either, so I stay quiet. I don’t want him hurt.
She pets my hair, and I can feel and hear her humming something lightly. It calms me. I wonder if this is what paradise is.
“One day, we’ll make everyone feel like this.” She promises. I bury myself a bit deeper into her hold. I don’t want to share this with everyone, but if everyone means Saeyoung as well, maybe I could relent a little bit, one day.
“But, for right now, let’s just enjoy it together.” She seems to read my mind. I’m still crying, even though I feel very happy. I can’t help it sometimes. I hope she knows I’m happy. I hope Saeyoung knows I’m happy. I hope he knows that one day, we could make everyone this happy.
