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every now and then I see an old WTF Is and remember that Totalbiscuit is dead. Like actually, entirely dead. Crazy how the internet has this insane capability to immortalise people forever through the content they left behind.

#rip totalbiscuit #you were one of the most influential youtubers to me #in everything you did

RIP Totalbiscuit

I'm at work, but I saw news of this from WoW Reddit whilst taking a snack break, and, well...

It's weird that a stranger can mean so much to you, but he did. I started watching him when he was doing Cataclysm beta videos, and I was hooked. For his wit, his dry humour, and the fact he was British in what felt like a sea of Americans at the time.

I stayed watching him ever since, for his 'WTF is' videos, to the infamous Terraria series with Jesse, and of course the podcast. I respected his honesty, intergrity, and the fact he gave a shit about the games industry.

Of course, I disagreed with some things he said, and I'm certainly not blind to some of the nastier things he said, but in many of those cases, he regretted what he said, and learned from it. He was, like the rest of us, flawed and imperfect, and I can hardly throw stones in my glass house.

He'd be slightly offended if I'd call myself a fan of his (I feel his 'all fanboys must die' shirt kinda predicted future...behaviour), but I am. His videos were a big thing when I was still in secondary school, and to university, so much so my mum refers to him as 'The Man Talking in Your Bedroom'. Though it's mostly Jesse taking that role now, I still think she's referring to TB.

I finally got to meet the man for the first time in CoxCon 2016. The chemo had made him Bainpool at the time, so no pictures, but he signed a book for me along with Genna. I was wearing one of his old fan shirts at the time; a flaming top hat with the words 'Mind Your Manners' underneath - a reference to when he played the beta for DC Universe Online; it was his villian character's catchphrase.

He noticed it and commented along the lines 'damn that's an old one' and mentioned that only about 60(? I forget the exact number, but it was under 100) had been sold. I shyly mentioned that I'd been watching since his Cata and enjoyed his content, asking a question about how he'd do a WTF on long form content (like ME:A) and that was it.

I did get a picture with him and Genna at CoxCon 2017, and I regret tremendously not having a better phone then, so the picture would have been better. But it was great, and I remember TB commenting that I looked like a character from the Netflix series Glow, with glasses. I took them off and confirmed his theory, but I told him that I could no see, which he acknowledged might be a slight problem.

I'm glad I met him and Genna, so there is no regrets here, not big ones. I credit him with introducing me to new games and genres (including WoW! Yes, you have the Cynical Brit to thank for my OC/Khadgar fanfics!), and also making me more critical of the content I consumed. To wait for reviews instead of jumping straight in, waiting for sales when I thought full price was too much for a game. To hold companies to account, to push for representation and for video games hournalists to actually have ethics and be qualified.

I think TB helped me grow up, or at least mature from being a shitwad of a teenager into what I hope is a functoning adult. My heart goes out to Genna and his step-son, and all the people who knew him more personally. There is a hole in my heart now, but not as wide as theirs will be.

RIP, you glorious, once cynical bastard.