#ripjonhyun

[blackgirl-loves-kpop]

In light of everything happening, and especially after seeing the clip of them carrying Jonghyun's casket (I had to stop watching it cause I was about to cry) there's only been one thing on my mind - how are the rest of the members doing? Because the way they looked in that video just broke my heart thinking about how they're dealing with all of this. And honestly, whether they want to stay together but go on a hiatus or possibly disband, I'll support them 100%

[ebonybling]

종현아, an open letter

I am no writer, nor an artist. I just want to express myself to you in the way I know how.

I had been considering plans to see you on your 10th anniversary concert. I had been thinking about how and when I'll get to watch you perform live on your solo cons. I had been looking forward to hearing more of your compositions to be produced...

All this time, I just assumed that I'll be seeing more of you in the future that I failed to value you more. I expected you to be constant, so lately I have neglected updating myself about you and the group. How wrong have I been. And now I am making up for the lost time and for the lost you.

I may not fully grasp what you went through; I'm not an idol, and I haven't went through depression. But what I understand is the feeling of being alone. I had my own share of loneliness. And during those times, I found SHINee's music (“A-yo” really got me and stuck with me since). Then, I also discovered the group's variety shows. And from there, I found you. I was attracted with the animated you, and the unreserved you. By following you, I got to know the Jonghyun who sincerely cares for others, blood-related or not. Your concern, interactions, smiles, and even tears are so genuine that was so blinding. Your sweet smiles and funny gestures is what brightened my day. And I haven't even began talking about the you who is on stage. And your voice? I can't even describe it. You said we didn’t get to know the real you. But up there, you captured the heart of all that is listening and watching. Up there you are so real. And up there you are just sparkling and glowing. Bling Bling is Jonghyun, right? So for that, I am thankful. Thank you for the intrusion in my life. You were the welcomed distraction and boost I needed in my down times.

Now though, I am ashamed. Ashamed that to have not paid attention enough, and I call myself a fan. Being a supporter from another land, even with language barriers, does not excuse me for not being able to help you. I believe that anything is possible if we just put our hearts and mind to it. And that time, I didn't. I'm just sorry that you faced your inner demons alone. There were people around you, closer to you, but still failed to see you. You've rescued so many of us, yet we weren't able to do the same for you. You gave all the signs; through you actions, words and music. You were desperately hoping and calling for help but we disregarded you. We neglected you as we were blinded by the warm smiles you gave us and the words of wisdom you shared with us. We were so focused on ourselves that we failed to look past your words, lyrics and smiles.  

What's done is done. We cannot undo the past. We just hope that you are able to forgive us all for not being what you needed at your lowest hours. On your last ig post you told us not to be hurt, but we are.  And we are also angry… not at you but angry at ourselves for letting it come to this. For pushing you and ourselves to where we are now. 종현아, 미안해.

Our dino, our puppy, you fought hard, you worked hard. Thank you for enduring this long. Thank you for meeting you on this lifetime. Thank you for your music and the gift that is you. Now, take your well deserved peace and rest. 종현아, 수고했어요! Please watch over your sister, mother and your four brothers, Jinki, Kibum, Minho & Taemin. 

Now that you are one of the stars, please continue shining for us, shawol, up in the skies. You can now sing to your heart’s content with the angels. Have a good night Jonghyun, 사랑해!

[kwonmisaki]

Today I was visiting my older sister, I was doing fine. I was eating dinner with her, my dad and niece’s until I realize that #jonghyun funeral was taking place...in that instant I stood up and left the table to go cry at my sister’s bedroom, I was a complete mess as I watched the videos and photos...suddenly my 5 year old niece walks into the bedroom and tells me the cutest thing ever, she told me: “don’t cry Carmen, hes going to feel better. He is going to where my grandma and Looper [family friend] are. He’s going to feel happy and better.” After that I started listening to their songs, in a failed attempt to calm down, then suddenly Tell Me What To Do came up and hearing his voice she turned and told me again: “See? He’s telling you to cry no more, he’s telling you not to cry. Stop crying he’s feeling better now.” After hearing this I cried harder because she was so wise, being five and so wise on what to say to me in that moment of tears. She knew what to say to her 22 year old aunt that was crying her heart out. I’m damn proud of her. #shawolsforever❤ #shinee #jjongrip #ripjonhyun #lovetoshinee #staystrongshawol

[spam-stan]

dec.15 i lost my dog. dec. 18 i lost someone i looked up to so much. and i feel so much sadness because he was someone i loved and he was such a beautiful soul. i feel guilty never praising him enough or showing how much i truly loved jonghyun. im tearing up once more as i write this, because i still feel so in denial about this. he never backed down from his opinions and always seemed so caring and loving never wanting anyone to feel so- depressed. and its so hard knowing that even as he assured and as he smiled he was hurting so much. i wish this was a dream and im so sorry to everyone else affected. i prayed so hard when they were saying he was still on the brink of life but god needed the angel he was. i wish he wouldnt have gone in such a terrible way-- or at all for that matter as selfish as it may seem. i send my love and support to his family, his friends, his coworkers, his acquaintances, his brothers in shinee, fellow shawols, every idol, /everyone/ who mourns him, who celebrates him. i love you kim jonghyun and i hope you know no matter what, youre never alone. another star twinkled in the sky and i know its you looking and watching over everyone. i hope you see how truly loved you are. please be happy and at peace.