kallexnuh replied to your post: Thanks to kallexnuh, arachnophxbia, ka...
No problem. Now to get a roleplay of Death as Maury to figure out “Who is the Father?”
Risa: “Hello, wonderful viewers, and welcome back for another exciting episode of our witchin’ talk show, Risa and Arisa in the Morning! We have our mojitos out, so it’s going to be a great show, right, Arisa?”
Arisa: “More like a witchin’ spectacular show, Risa! Because we have a very special, super-duper guest today! Our guest is none other than the shinigami himself, Lord Death! Welcome, cutie--have a seat!”
Lord Death: “Thank you, thank you! You are a beautiful audience!”
Azusa: (Standing behind Lord Death, holding up a handwritten "Applause” sign) “How far I’ve sunk...”
Risa: “But what we didn’t tell the Grim Reaper was that we have another guest!”
Lord Death: “Oooooh, I love surprises! Who is it? Wait--let me guess! It’s that guy on the show with the robot and they have wacky adventures in outer space, right?"
Arisa: “Nope! It’s your former member of the Eight Warlords--”
Lord Death: “...Oh no...”
Risa: “The embodiment of fear itself, that sharp-dressed scarf-wearing cutie, Asura!”
Asura: “...You didn’t tell me there would be so many audience members. I don’t do well in large crowds. The lights are too bright. It’s cold in here...WHY ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT ME?! STOP IT, OR I’LL KILL YOU ALL AND MAIL THE REMAINS TO YOUR CHILDREN!”
Lord Death: “...Is it too late to have Excalibur instead? I think I would be less annoyed.”
Arisa: “And he’s here to confront you about something very shocking about something naughty you did, Lord Death!”
Azusa: (Holds up “Jeer” sign)
Audience: “Booooo!”
Lord Death: “Not helping, Azusa!”
Asura: “Shinigami...You are my father, aren’t you?”
Lord Death: “...”
Risa: “Don’t answer, yet, Lord Death! We already have the paternity tests!”
Lord Death: “What?! How did you get a DNA sample off of me!”
Stein: “I have my ways.”
Lord Death: “Stein?! Et tu?!”
Stein: “The one witch said if I helped, I’d get to vivisect the other one.”
Risa: “What?! Arisa!”
Arisa: “Why don’t you go ahead and open up that envelop, Dr. Blabbermouth.”
Stein: “Lord Death...According to the DNA test results, you..._are_ the father!”
Asura: “See?! Now watch as I pop and lock across the stage in mockery of how ashamed I am that you fathered me! I may even do the worm across the stage! How you like that, Dad?! You never loved me! You never bought me that puppy I wanted, or eat the soul of that tiny child--She was right there for the taking, but nooooooo, ‘It’ll spoil your appetite,’ you said. Well, screw you, Dad! I’m eating all the souls I want! And maybe ice cream, too! With sprinkles! Sprinkles of people’s blood!”
Risa: “...Yuckers.”
Lord Death: “You witches! I hope your show gets cancelled and replaced with infomercials! You’re lucky you aren’t on at 3 in the morning when the only people awake are insomniacs and those freaks who watch Toonami!”
