I am a smol 25 year old who has followed you for quite a while and identifies with a lot of what you say. Could I ask how you made it to 27? Is it better now than when you were 25 like me?
My friend, It is sooo much better.
I never expected to get an ask like this but I’m going to try and answer this to the best of my abilities.
Am I still broke? Yes. Am I still depressed? Yes. Am I still neurodivergent? Yeah... I’m also still suffering from Gender Dysphoria. But-
At the age of 27 I found out, after years of therapy, that coming to accept your mental illness is key to finding peace. Accept that some days are going to suck, learn how to deal with them in a healthy manner and try again tomorrow.
At the age of 27 I moved out of an abusive household and escaped my abusive father. I had help, I could never have done this without my friend C, my current job and some help from my bank by getting me the loans I needed. But I escaped and if I can, I know anyone can too.
At the age of 27, I got green light for Testosterone, Top surgery and a name and gender marker change after just 3 months of talking to a therapist. I do have to go through a second opinion, but I can make it through.
At the age of 26 I decided to transition and save my life. And although things have been hard, it’s the best decision I have ever made in my life.
At the age of 26 I discovered that having the right friends is so important to mental health and making it through those days.
At the age of 26 I recognized that toxic relationships had no place in my life.
At the age of 25 I met the best friend I could ever have in the entire world. Nat is my soulmate, my other half in this world and I couldn’t live without them. They are my best friend, my brother, the other sock in a pair. They are the reason I survived past 25.
At the age of 25 I met friends that had the same strange fixations as me, be it writing, cosplay or weird fandoms and fanfiction.
At the age of 25 I came to terms with not having a partner in my life. I came to terms with relying on my own strength.
At the age of 25 I wanted to die.
I wanted to die and stop my misery more than anything in the world. I had tried three times, I tried going to the railroad track. What stopped me?
Strength. Hope. Love. Luck.
I realized, standing near the tracks, that I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want to be alone. So I went home, I talked to my mother and my brother and I told them the truth. I went to therapy again, I tried going back to college. It didn’t work out. But-
I learned to find coping mechanisms that got me through one more day.
And I did those exercises every single day-
That is how I survived past the age of 25
Just one more day. Every day
That’s what I told myself every day for two years until my situation improved.
Because It gets better, it really does. I’m writing this from my desk, in my own studio apartment. I’m writing this while being tired from a fulltime job that pays my bills. And I’m writing this whilst smiling, because even if this only reaches one person who decides to live on. Then maybe me living on had a purpose, the purpose of saving another life.
So fight, tell yourself one more day, every day. Fight as much as you can. Because you are worth it. You are valid and even if you don’t feel like it now.
It will get better.
