" One day,whether you are 14, 28 or 65,
You will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die.
However, the saddest most awful truth you will ever come to find—
Is that they are not always whom we spend our lives.”
Many of you have either gone through or is going through a rough break up. This is probably the toughest one I’ve had to endure, and to tell you guys the truth, I don’t think I’m ready for another relationship. Not anytime soon. You learn something new from every heart break, but you also lose a part of yourself each and every time. Although I’m not completely over this break up, I’d like to share with you the things I did to help speed up the healing process.
1. Cry your heart out.
The second we broke up, I cried my eyes out for weeks. I cried myself to sleep every night, woke up in the morning for work,came home in the evening and repeat. The weekend was the worst because I spent all day in my bed crying nonstop. Memories of Sam and I together tore my heart to pieces over and over and over again. I even played music that fit the mood to help me cry some more. Although it felt like my life was coming to an end— I knew it wasn’t. One thing I did know was with every tear I dropped, the better I felt. Some of you may hate this process, think that it’s stupid, or may never cry at all. But trust me when I say that crying helps. Crying helps you relieve a lot of the stress you build up, and its sort of… satisfying.
2. Surround yourself with good company.
I was lucky that I didn’t have to go anywhere far to find great company. I had room mates who constantly checked up on me, who lent an ear when I needed to vent, and best of all, room mates that hugged me when I needed some comfort. Surrounding yourself with good, positive company can help you forget the pain even if its only for a few hours. I later found myself wanting to hang out with my room mates more once I got tired of crying. The more I laughed, the better I felt. The better I felt, the stronger I became.
3. Be a Goal-Getter.
About 3 weeks after my break up with Sam, I found myself constantly on my feet. I was setting goals and getting them done. I wrote in my planner every day, crossed off my check list every night. I had a fear of driving, but found myself driving like I’ve been doing it for years. I was unstoppable, and you can be too. Set some goals and make it a priority to cross everything off. Not only will you begin to feel better, but you’ll surprise yourself by seeing how strong you’ve become.
4. Yes to Spontaneity!
I was so comfortable before the break up that I said ‘No’ to anything that I didn’t find appealing. However, after the break up I found myself wanting to do everything. I have a friend I want to thank for helping me step out of my comfort zone. If it weren’t for him, I’d be stuck in my safe bubble, not living life at all. Now, I’m not saying that you should say yes to every thing. Know your limit. Once you experience the world and discover the fun out there, you’ll find yourself slowly forgetting about the pain—and slowly wanting to enjoy life more.
5. Acceptance.
Overall this was the hardest thing for me to do. I’m still trying to get over this acceptance phase even if 8 months has gone by. I was in denial for months even when I was becoming stronger. Yes a part of me wished for us to get back together—but it was all wishful thinking. Acceptance takes time, there’s no such thing as taking too long. Its okay to still love that person! Instead of hating your ex, remember all the good times you’ve shared with each other. Good memories are slowly helping me get by as I go on this journey. I don’t know how to end this last step because I haven’t fully accepted everything yet, but if you have, please feel free to share your journey with me. Just promise me that you won’t rush into another relationship.
I hope this little blog has helped you one way or the other. Little by little I started to realize that these few steps actually helped me get back on my feet. No it wasn’t easy, it took quite some effort to get this far. If it was possible for me, then it’s more than possible for you my little Valentines.
Love always, Rita Valentine <3
P.s Don’t forget to keep chasing after your dreams. Good luck and stay hungry my little Valentines.