Dear anon, First and foremost you can fuck off. What are we 5? Nobody cares about your hateful, pathetic ass. Second, Beka I love your writing! You're one of my favorite bloggers and I sincerely hope you're doing well.
awe, thanks babe ;)
I literally did nothing but send an ask like everyone else so I’m not sure what “person who isn’t the person we think it is but it totally is” is mad at me for? like? idk? *shrug*
Another submission for @riversong-sam‘s birthday challenge!
My prompt was Last Goodbye
Warnings: character death, depressed Cass
Word Count: 1.7k
A/N:
Sorry I suck at keeping active
I’m using the spelling ‘CASS’. I’m warning you because people get triggered for some reason and then they get mad at me
Also, if your URL is crossed off in my tags, it means Tumblr is not allowing me to tag you under that URL anymore. Message me if you still want to be on tags but you want to change your URL
His hand lay under your head, supporting it so it wouldn’t touch the sullied ground. The unclean ground where your body lay nearly motionless. He cradled your torso in his lap and kept you close, warm, as comfortable as he could make you.
His beige trenchcoat lay in half in the mud that was close to freezing over for the night in attempt to conserve some of your body heat
“Guess we won’t be going on that second date huh?” You smiled weakly up at him, finding his other hand with your own, resting on your abdomen. He shook his head.
“No, I’m afraid not.” He breathed out shakily and tried to smile back.
As per usual, a hunt had gone wrong, but this time it ended with your blood slowly leaking into the dirt. It was hard for Cass to grip what was happening; you’d known him so long, and just recently you were beginning to have feelings for the angel, as weird as that was.
“Put your coat back on Cass.” You mumbled, trying to focus on his eyes, his lips, anything that could keep you in this world a little longer.
“I do not get cold, Y/N. I’ll be fine.” His thumb brushed against your cheek gently.
The colour of your face was slowly draining, like your blood, and your lips were turning cold along with your fingers. Cass’ hand ran through your hair gently and you breathed out, calm.
“Please just let me heal you.” He begged. Angels didn’t really cry, but if they did, you’d guess that Castiel was about as close as they could get. His hands were leaving yours warmer and his voice broke when he managed to speak. The blue in his eyes seemed vibrant when he was most upset. You shook your head slowly.
“You’ve saved me...too many times, Castiel.”
“Then don’t leave me just yet, Y/N, please.” He pressed his cool lips to your forehead and you smiled softly. Both Sam and Dean returned, stopping in their tracks as they saw Castiel kneeling. They’d gone after the demon that had provided you with a nice lethal stab wound. Lucky enough for you, you were on the hellspawn’s list just because you affiliated with the Winchesters.
They decided not to get any closer. Castiel’s shoulders were shuddering above you and your breath was getting shallow.
“I think it’s time for me to go.” All you could get out was a whisper.
“I don’t want to watch the love between us die...” Cass muttered, a small teardrop fell from his eye and he breathed softly, the light fog swirling and then disappearing. You were silent. It was forbidden for humans and angels to be together, but Castiel’s current track record showed that he wasn’t exactly keen on following the rules lately.
“Y/N, please don’t leave me... Wake up.” Cass shook your shoulders gently and his heart pounded softly. He was struck with the fear that he would never again see your smile.
Behind the tragic scene, Dean bit his lip and glanced at his brother knowingly, whose head was down in mourning. Losing people was in their job description, but they never thought they would lose you too.
Castiel knelt on the ground with your body early into the cold morning, just stroking your stiff, soft skin. Sam and Dean couldn’t bear it any longer, especially since they couldn’t feel their toes.
“Cass, buddy. Y/N’s gone... we gotta go.” He didn’t want to pry him away from you; he knew as well as his brother that in the time you’d known each other, Cass felt a certain way about you that was unheard of in angel disposition.
Rigid, Castiel stood up, holding your limp body bridal style in his arms. His eyes were cold and fixed upon the ground.
“Cass, you know anything else about- Hey, Cass,” Dean repeated as he looked up from the lore book that lay on the kitchen table.
Castiel was standing near one of the bookshelves with an old shoebox in front of him, a shoebox he kept of your things.
“Cass?” Sam piped up, which earned them a look from the angel.
“You okay?” Dean asked. Castiel nodded slowly and glanced back into the box briefly before putting it back on the shelf. Whatever was in his hands, he folded and tucked into one of his coat pockets.
“Yes, I am okay. What is it you need help with?” He was quick to change the subject.
As Dean explained their newest case file, Castiel’s mind wandered.
It had already been a few months since your death and he still regretted the fact that he hadn’t tried to save you.
His eyes had lost their lustre and his voice had lost its sincerity. He no longer could feel the warmth of your touch or the feeling that sparked inside him whenever he would see your face.
He kept thinking about that godforsaken promise he’d made to you. The promise that you’d proposed all those months back that entailed the angel not to save you if it came down to it. Your rationale was that if you were supposed to die, you were supposed to die. You weren’t going to mess with Fate. It didn’t work out so well last time.
Cass disappeared from the room before the boys realized how tight he was clenching his fists.
Dean let out an exasperated sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.
“He’s gotta get over this damn wall.” He grumbled. His best friend had been disconnected ever since the accident, and they needed him to be at his best just in case they needed him.
“C’mon Dean, you can’t blame him, and we can’t just keep asking him to solve our problems,” Sam said softly, uncrossing his arms and walking around the table to his brother.
“I’m not asking him to solve our problems, I’m just asking him to get his head out of his ass and take one for the team. He’s gotta get over it at some point.”
“He lost Y/N, you can’t expect him to be...all there.” Brushing a few strands of hair out of his face, Sam sighed.
“We lost Y/N, too, Sam. You don’t see me crying about it.” Dean glared up at his brother but Sam knew better. Both of the boys were upset that you were dead, but they both processed it differently. Already, Dean had gone overkill on three big baddies. Sam knew he was taking it hard, but still not as hard as Cas was taking it.
Defeated, Sam spoke again.
“Even angels need time to grieve, Dean. Give him a break.”
“Hello, Y/N.” Cass’ gravely voice mumbled, his lips curling slightly at the ends. For some reason, he always hoped you would answer him.
The grey headstone looked back at him with the same blank face as always but he still smiled and sat down on the ground in front of it, fighting back his sadness. The old tree that twisted up behind the grave provided shade for the ground that was patched with unique rays sunlight that managed to stream through the leaves overhead. The sun would be setting soon.
Cass’ trench coat flapped gently in the quiet wind and he breathed shallowly.
He made sure to bury your body in the most beautiful place he could find, so secluded and peaceful that only he could visit you there and no one could find you by accident. Having a hunter’s funeral for you, like the boys wanted, was out of the question. He could not let his last memory of you to be filled with fire. He only hoped where you were, you could be as at peace as the river was.
“The stars should be beautiful tonight.” He looked up through the break in the trees at the sky and left himself in silence, imagining you responding to his statement with a fact about constellations or the recent meteor shower. He looked back down at your grave and sighed.
“I thought of you again today, Y/N.” His fingers pressed to the ground where he clearly remembered laying your body, wrapped in sheets. The river bubbled by the gravesite and he watched the water find it’s way around the rocks. If only it was that easy for him to get around this rock.
“I never got to say goodbye to you, Y/N.” Cass’ voice broke. The clouds overhead floated by, ill-concerned about whatever was going on down on earth. If any of his brothers or sisters saw him this way, they would be convinced that Earth had corrupted him, somehow made him more human, which they thought of as a bad thing.
“You gave me more life than you’ll ever know.” A few tears slid down his cheeks and he pulled the folded item from his pocket. He couldn’t ever tell you how he felt.
With trembling hands, he unfolded the photograph and stared at your smile. He’d taken a liking to Polaroid cameras just a few months before your death. And even though he wasn’t particularly good with technology, or photogenic for that matter, he found a way to get a picture of the two of you together. It always made him smile.
He quickly wiped his eyes and started digging a small hole in the dirt in front of the grave, where a few wildflowers had begun to grow.
“I want you to have this. So you can remember us.” He folded the photograph again, into a small square and he set it into the ground, burying it gently. His tears, by now, had started to flow again, and he imagined them being fuel for more flowers.
Slowly, he stood up again and glanced at his surroundings before turning back to your headstone, where he would make sure it would never snow or be damaged. He intended to visit you often to tell you everything that was happening without you, as much as it broke his heart.
“Goodbye, Y/N.”
With one more look, Castiel pressed a kiss to his fingers and set them on the top of your headstone.
You rebloged my fic I'm fangirling right now 💚💚💚🖤🖤💜💙💙💙❤❤❤💋💋❤❤💋💋💝💝💝💝💝💝💝
Oh shush. I am nothing to fangirl about! :) Just a danish dork.
I am a sucker for JJ fics, that has both her parents painted in a positive light. That little girl is precious and the Ackles are goals and my loves :D <3
“Don’t reply. Yeah right. Why would I do that?” I huffed. I pushed out from the table and stood up. I took another swallow from the bottle in my hand, cringing at the bitter taste.
“Dean.”
“Shut up Cas.”
“No. Dean. I’m not going to because you need to figure out what you’re going to do to find Y/N.” Cas pulled on my shoulder, turning me to face him.
“She doesn’t want to be found! She left and sent coded messages from who knows where and said she doesn’t want me to try to find her!” I shouted. I could feel my blood heating up my face and my eyes burned too. I rubbed my face, shoving away the rising pain weighing in my chest.
It felt like she had died. I was grieving for her and she wasn’t even dead. No. She was worse than dead because I would probably never get to see her again.
Everything was there. From the moment I’d met her. I just didn’t see it. From her rescue from the ghost to that last night when she said she loved me.
“I have to find her, Cas.” I chucked the bottle into the trash and grabbed my jacket.
“Good.”
“I’m gonna need your help.”
“Yes you will,” Cas said, sighing slightly. “You’re so emotionally constipated I don’t think you’d have ever figured it out on your own.”
I shot him a sour look, but didn’t respond. I pulled out my phone and hit the speed dial. “Sam? I’m going to try to find Y/N. I need your help.”
For being so nice and all-around amazing in every way, copy this to 10 other bloggers that you think are wonderful. Keep the GAME going and make others feel beautiful and appreciated (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ <3 (also hot damn your cover photo!)
aw thank you so much <3 and ikr? my babs @lokis-quinn made it for me!
