Summary: Everyone knows they love each other, except for them.
Rivetra Month - Dec 10 prompt “Memory”
AO3
ERWIN
“Are you going to tell her?”
“Tell her what?”
“That you love her.”
It infuriated Levi how Erwin could say that without even looking at him. He had his back turned, looking outside to the passer-bys on the sunny street below. It must have been so easy for him to stick his nose in other people's affairs. With all the troubles he had of his own, Levi wondered how he still had time to catch his affection towards Petra. They weren't that obvious, were they? He had barely come to terms with them himself. They were just the seed of a thought back then.
“What good would that do? I don’t want to burden Petra even more.”
Levi rubbed the bridge of his nose, pinching it right between his eyes with his thumb and index. Fuck. Fuck! His day had been going so well until he had to take a peek inside at the feelings threatening to spill out. He knew if he had asked, he could have had her in a heartbeat. She'd be his without hesitation. But he also knew he could lose her just as quickly.
“I see... so you’re not denying it. I didn’t even have to mention her name, either.”
Levi didn't miss the amused tone in his commander's voice. He had walked right into his trap, blindsided by how Erwin had so easily read him. He sucked his teeth in.
“Fuck you, respectfully.”
Erwin just laughed as Levi stormed out, slamming the door behind him on his way out. The words remained with him all day as he went about his daily tasks. Did he really love her? Usually, his first instinct would have been to deny any emotional ties to anyone or anything. He didn't have the mental space to love anyone, and certainly not in that way. And yet he had wholly accepted the fact that Erwin was right as if it had been obvious for him too.
He spent all of dinner time that night staring at Petra to the point where the redhead had asked if something was wrong. What was he meant to say? That he was trying to figure out whether or not he was truly in love with her? He had never been in love, he couldn't tell what it was supposed to feel like. From that point on, Levi ate alone in his office. Better to avoid his feelings before they were noticed by anyone else, especially the subject of said feelings.
OLUO
“He likes all of us equally.”
“Sure, if by equally you mean you’re his favourite.”
“Am not!”, Petra argued through her blush.
“He’s constantly hanging around you and he’s giving you that love-me-gentle look every time you two talk."
“He does? I mean that’s wrong-- he doesn’t... I don’t think it’s proper to discuss things like that.”
“Why not? Is it because you’ve already sealed the deal?”, Eld added.
“No! We haven’t-- This is none of your business!”
The group hollered with laughter at the way Petra rebutted them. She'd noticed it too, of course. Lately Levi had grown more gentle towards her, staring at her from across the room and laying off her duties. He hadn't meant to at first but once he had noticed lines forming on her face and her dark circles deepening he had felt pity for the woman. She hadn't once complained, of course, and her attitude hadn't changed either. She was as cheery as ever, and able to slice through Titans like they were made of butter. She even took more initiative now that their dynamics had changed.
"You guys are just jealous because I'm faster than you and I can keep up with Lev-- the captain.", she corrected herself.
"First name basis huh?", Oluo snickered into his drink.
"Don't worry Oluo, you don't need to try and charm me up to get special treatment."
The stern voice came in from the door as Levi entered the room and everyone stiffened. Petra looked as red as the log burning in the fireplace. Levi motioned for her to join him as he disappeared into the adjacent study. The redhead followed suit with the reports under her arm, glad to be away from prying eyes and gossip.
HANGE
Levi had been caught staring at Petra from across the tavern they’ve stopped at. Actually, he hadn’t really been caught. He had simply noticed how Hange kept ogling him while he looked over their shoulder to steal glances at his subordinate. He’d have feigned concern over how many drinks she'd already had like a fussing hen mother but that really wouldn’t have suited him. It wasn’t his style. Besides, there wasn't anything to worry about. She was surrounded by friends and familiar faces. People that cared about her and loved her. Seeing her so genuinely happy and coddled only helped to solidify how much he wanted to dote on her too. Her happiness served to fuel his own.
“If you say anything I’ll feed you to your experiments, four eyes.”, he muttered into his drink.
Hange turned and glanced over their chair, waving at Petra dramatically with a smile so wide they could have been a titan themselves. Moblit elbowed them in the ribs, knowing they were only going to further piss off Levi. Why did his superiors have to be polar opposites?
“She’s been looking at you all night, you know, Levi. I don’t think I’ll be the first one to spill the beans.”
"Don't, then.", he glared coldly.
Petra skipped over to their table, the smile she gave Levi making his stomach do a backflip. Shit. He was going to blame it on the booze even though he could barely feel a tingle. If only he could muster up the balls to just talk to her. The redhead took a seat at the end of the table, her arms crossed and her body leaned forward as they started talking. The captain stole a glance at her chest, perfectly framed in her tight blouse, before steadying himself with a long drink from his cup. She noticed how Levi was uncharacteristically silent, preferring to stare at the contents of his drink, but said nothing on the matter. He looked so peaceful, she didn't dare to bother him. No matter how much she wanted to talk to him. It wasn't as if she'd been avoiding him all night, but up until Hange had called her over to their table, she had been working up the courage to talk to him. It was different when they were outside of their working environment. She lacked material for small talk, and he despised it.
"Can you help me with this round, Captain?"
She took advantage of the opportunity to engage him when drinks needed to be refilled. They got up and left the table to head for the bar. When she felt his hand on her lower back and his breath on her neck, she feared she'd spontaneously combust on the spot. He navigated her through the crowd until she was in front of the bar and he was pressed behind her by the other patrons gathered there.
"Let's have ours here.", She whispered back at him when she got the drinks and cheered with him.
"You'll be the death of me, Petra.", his free hand still holding onto her.
"I'll drink to that.", she taunted as she took another sip.
EREN
“So how long have you and the Captain been...”, Eren asked awkwardly, unable to finish his sentence.
“What?”, Petra croaked.
"You and Captain Levi, you aren't together?"
"Have Oluo and Eld been bothering you with their rumors? Don't listen to them."
"No, not at all. It's just something the Captain said about making sure I was nice to you... or else."
"He's harmless, don't worry.", Petra chuckled as she tucked her hair back and continued wiping down the table. The irony in her statement wasn’t entirely lost on her.
When Eren leaned to look over her shoulder, he found the opposite to be true. Levi was listening to Hange rant about her latest achievement with Sawney and Bean, his foot hiked up on the seat of a chair and his arm rested over his knee as he leaned over it. Although paying attention to Hange, his eyes were burning holes in Eren's face. A shiver ran up his spine at the glacial expression. The boy had always found Levi to be off-putting and menacing ever since his trial. His looming presence in the background solidified it. No wonder no one else could approach Petra. She didn't even know he was doing it, smiling happily without a care in the world.
"I wouldn't exactly say that.", the boy said as he rubbed the back of his head, feeling a cold sweat running down his back.
"I've also seen you two... Uh... Yesterday. In the courtyard."
"Oh." Petra cleared her throat.
She recalled how he'd beckoned her forward with a motion of his hand and she had pulled him under a column by the edge of his jacket. There had been no protest from him, only an amused smirk playing on his lips as he let her hands roam over his chest and tug on the straps of his ODM. He'd called her a brat so many times before, it had only made her chuckle. She'd kissed his cheeks, his forehead, his jaw, his neck while he threaded his fingers through her silky hair, delighted to steal a moment of intimacy with her. His hands had felt so cold against her hips when he pushed her backwards to have her against the adjacent column, his forehead pressed to hers. She had reveled in the sensation, scratching the undercut at the back of his head with her nails gently.
Still, she refused to call what they had a relationship. They were simply stolen moments, a taste of what could never be. Besides, they were few and far between and didn't go much beyond small caresses and chaste kisses. It made them both happy, if only for a short time.
"I won't tell anyone, if you don't want me to.", Eren added quietly.
"Good. We're... figuring things out too, you know."
PETRA
"I love you."
She'd whispered those words to herself too many times while watching him, they sounded so natural when she finally got to say them to him. It was another of those late nights spent together under the glow of a candle, spread out between reports and maps in his office.
They had gotten closer over the course of the evening and by the time the words had escaped her, Levi had backed her against the door. They had broken apart for air, and in the stillness of the moment she had let the words slip out.
"Goodnight, Petra."
If she had been disappointed by his words, she didn't show it on her face. She was giving him a gentle smile, a look to let him know she understood. She would be patient, and try again. Whenever you're ready.
"Goodnight, Levi."
LEVI
"I should have said it back when I had the chance.", Levi whispered.
He sat with his back against the grave, staring forward as rain poured down on him. He could hear her voice in his head and how she'd warn him that staying out in this bad of a weather would make him catch a cold. He missed how caring she was. He missed how gentle she was. He missed how loving she was. He missed everything about her.
Now he was old and damaged, tired from a meaningless war that had gone on for too long and cost too many good lives worth living unlike his own. His own had never meant much to him so it seemed ironic he would be part of the lucky few to be spared. He didn't consider himself lucky however, having to live with so many ghosts. But he had no regrets except for that one...
"I hope you knew..."
Even now he couldn't bring himself to say the words. What was the point? She wasn't there to hear them. He would never see her face light up from finally hearing them. Still, he wanted to have the courage to say it out loud for his own sake. He had known he loved her for years now.
This wasn't the first time he visited her grave. Levi would come with fresh flowers every other week, clean up the stone and say a few words. He wished he didn't have to do this, but she had taken such good care of him when she was alive that he felt he needed to repay that debt. Who else would? Everyone that knew them when she was alive was buried alongside her in that same graveyard. He was the only one that remembered her and the kind of person she was.
"Everyone knew, how could you not.", he scoffed as he painfully got up while leaning on the gravestone.
To celebrate the first day of my OTP's month, here's my keyboard cover of my favorite part of Souyoku No Hikari aka « The Rivetra Song »
I apologize in advance for the audio quality and the mistakes in my playing. Also my middle C is broken and I haven't been able to find someone to fix it yet :'-)
Summary: As Petra lays dying, she imagines what her future with Levi might have been like.
Rivetra Month - Dec 30 prompt “Future”
AO3
It didn't hurt. Not really, not after a while. It had been so sudden. One minute she was there, and the next she was gone from the world. It had been almost easy... dying. Even easier than blinking or taking a breath or laughing. Petra felt at peace at least knowing that all the people and friends she had lost in the past hadn't suffered for long. Once their body gave in, it was over. There was no fighting death when it came for them. Or for her. It was a comforting feeling, suddenly all her worries had vanished. She felt lighter.
What they said about life flashing before her eyes had all been bullshit. There had been no flashbacks and no best moments being relived for old time sake. It was the opposite for her. Perhaps she had willed it that way, she was so young after all. What was there to flashback to? Nothing much had happened in the twenty odd years she had spent on this earth. She had dedicated her body and soul to the Survey Corps. But for some reason when she died that was when the real adventure began for her. It was thrilling to be able to invent a life from scratch when hers had been so willingly given over to a cause greater than all of them combined. So she would write the future instead.
They would rid the earth of Titans. One by one. It would take a few years but they would eventually do it. They would break down the walls that had made their world so small and they would retake their rightful place across the forests and the fields. Their lands would stretch across the earth for as far as they could reach as it had been the case once, generations ago. Their children wouldn't know fear or pain or grief like they had. And they would be happy. Just plain happy.
For herself, she imagined the same future she had always yearned for and dreamed in her head whenever she saw him. Captain Levi Ackerman, humanity's strongest soldier. There wasn't any more need for formality now, he was just Levi. For as long as she could remember he was her ideal. He was strong, brave and kind despite first impressions. She imagined he wouldn't lose his edge even after they had finished fighting for their freedom. She liked that. Nothing could render him soft or pliable and she would have despised it if she had been the reason for him to trade his corrosive personality in order to gain her affection.
She imagined she would be too nervous to make the first step, so he would do it for her. He was so perceptive about everyone but himself. It would only be a matter of stating the obvious for him, as if it was just a formality in their relationship. They would go on dates, although they would never call it that. Drinking tea like they used to, this time in public. Picnicking on top of a hill during sunny days. Taking walks through the forest and exploring the meadows together. They would be able to forget their sorrows for a little while and simply enjoy each other's company like so many normal people did.
She would help him settle down a business for his tea shop he had so often talked about. For a man so fit at killing and fighting, he would settle into that new life with such ease. She would struggle at first, still riding the high of her adrenaline in her years of combat but slowly she would understand why he was so eager to leave it behind. It would be a quiet life for a while.
Their first kiss would happen naturally, too. She would pull him in slowly at first, and then all at once. She would pour the years of affection she had for him into that kiss. She would drown him in it if she had to. He would kiss her back and even in a moment of passion she would feel tenderness. From that point on, they couldn’t be apart from each other.
Their friends and former comrades would settle down and get married. They were all growing older. So he would ask her that too. It wouldn't be a grand gesture, neither of them were the type. It would be a quiet whisper after a passionate night spent between the sheets, discovering every curve and edge of their bodies and reliving each scar. She would wake up in his arms, sore, and it would be the first thing she would hear that day as if he were burning to know her answer. As if it wasn't obvious. And her first word that day would be a barely audible but decisive yes.
They would get married surrounded by friends and family. It would be a quiet, private affair done in a beautiful autumn meadow adorned by orange and gold leaves that matched her hair and eyes so perfectly. Within a year or two they would have a child that was the splitting image of their father with her mother's temperament. Perhaps another offspring later down the line. Levi would dote on them in his own way. Always stoic and calm but with a thousand emotions that only Petra could read beneath the surface. She would tell their children of the life they had before the walls fell. How happy they had been amidst the chaos. They would grow up knowing their parents were heroes who never gave up on their dreams. They would know how strong and stubborn their mother was, and how blunt yet caring their father was.
They would watch their children grow and strive while Levi and her would age slowly then all at once. They would close the shop and retire to a cottage in the woods far away from the hustle and bustle of the city neither of them had ever called home anyway. They would settle in the same woods where she currently laid bleeding, eyes up to the sky. This would be their view from their bedroom. A wide expanse of oak and sky. They would spend the rest of their lives together there, content and at peace finally.
That's what she wished for all of them. To live the life she didn't have.
