@momoring did you all watch the first episode of mga season 5 yet~? chosen your faves? if not, boy have i got some choices for you!
#5002 : choi minho, who displays the typical teenage angst here in his high school photo. that drama! the slight lip part! the intense smoldering gaze hiding all his deepest secrets! a man who raised me with his own bare hands as the big brother i never had or wanted! please support his flaming charisma and his captivating rap! 🎤
#5036 : park jinyoung, who looks especially handsome when his photo is taken by an amazing photographer! (📷: @momoring) homeless(?) but not heartless, watch him as he bares his emotions through song, drawing you in and refusing to let you leave (but not in a creepy way)! please support my best friend, a true musical artist! 🎙️
〈♡〉MGAS SEASON 5 → 02. post-performance interview.
after her performance, she sort of starts wishing that it was time to go home. sadly, there was still plenty left for everyone to do before that could happen. a nap would be nice, but she wasn’t going to be getting that anytime soon, either. much to her surprise, she wasn’t even able to have a break just yet. once everyone was done, it appeared that it was time for all of the contestants to be interviewed. she wasn’t sure that she was entirely prepared for this, but she should have seen it coming given the type of competition she was in. she already knew before being sat down with an interviewer that they were going to want to know all of her opinions and thoughts on various things. mostly likely, that meant other contestants.
she did her best to get as comfortable as she possibly could, though she had this nagging feeling of annoyance plaguing her for a reason she couldn’t decipher. still, she did what she could to hide it, donning a bright smile as she pushed a few strands of hair behind her ear. it would have been nice if she could have touched up her makeup a little, but she also had confidence that they would have done it for her if she looked too bad. clearly, she made the right choice in her recent purchases if the products she used still appeared neat and fresh. seola made sure to sit up straight and make eye contact with the camera as the questions began.
“how did you feel when you received the news of the callback?”
"well, i was definitely happy about it.” she smiles brightly, re-situating in her seat before it dulls just a little, allowing her expression to match the tone as her answer continues. “it was also really stressful, though. i know that i definitely wanted to move on, but when i was actually told that i was going to, it all became so very real. i felt like i had to work extremely hard so that i wouldn’t have moved on for no reason. the longer that these things go on, the more hope a person will get. so, i just feel the pressure to work super hard so i don’t get my hopes up for nothing.”
“how was it seeing the set for the first time?”
"oh, it was incredible. it’s such a massive, fancy place. it was weird seeing it and knowing that i was going to be involved with whatever was going on there.” she paused briefly, wondering if she should mention her cousin and the thoughts that she had as soon as she set foot here. eventually, she decided against it, and slightly grinned as she figured out something else to add. “i’ve danced a lot of different places before, from studios here to ones in the united states... and this was just so different from anything else because... it felt a lot less personal and more like a performance. i felt almost like i was an idol already being on a set like that.”
“what did you think when the judges were revealed?”
"i was really intimidated. there are always twists and things happening on shows like this so i think i should have expected something big to happen, but... it still surprised me. i think that even if i had been expecting it, it still wouldn’t have made a difference. it gave me this sense that i had to do well, because with their eyes on me, it really did feel like the whole world was watching. for anyone that dreams of being an idol, for them to be paying close attention to you and judging what you can do, it’s the same as the world watching, because they are the ones that have the power to give you everything that you dream of or take it all away.”
“how do you think you did?”
"i think that i did really well! i worked extremely hard on the choreography and making sure that the dance never got too boring, so i feel proud of what i managed. some people weren’t able to make their way off the stage without messing up one way or another, so i’m grateful that wasn’t me. i don’t actually believe that i was the best performance, but i know that i wasn’t the worst one, either... not by a long shot.”
“were there any performances you liked?”
"apart from my own?” she lightly laughed at her own joke, taking a few moments before seriously answering the question. “well, yeah. with ninety-nine other people performing, it’s only natural that i would have those that i enjoyed a lot. kim jungeun’s performance was really good! she’s a great dancer, isn’t she? i think she has what it takes to make it really far... she’ll probably even make it to the end. she’s got the right looks and she’s got the talent to do well, so i’m thinking she will. jung eunji’s performance was also really incredible. watching her made me want to do something more mature and classy next time. and! park jinyoung was also... really amazing to watch. i’m surprised that he’s not already a well known idol because his visuals are no joke and his talent... it radiates from him. i was obsessed with his song choice.”
“were there any performances you didn’t like?”
"um... yeah. multiple ones, actually, but... i don’t think i should say whose. at least let me secure a better place on the show before i start blasting anybody.” playfully, she laughs once again.
“is there anyone you are certain will move onto the next phase of the mgas?”
"hmm...” as she thinks, she looks up and away, staring at nothing in particular for a couple of seconds. once she’s come to a conclusion, she nods and returns her gaze to the camera. “well, jinyoung will for sure. if he doesn’t, i will want to fight somebody. apart from him, regarding someone that i haven’t mentioned yet... choi minho. the one that debuted before but isn’t in the group now... i think he will make it because he’s already got fans and it’s been established that he’s talented and clearly has what it takes. i don’t see him getting picked off.”
“is there anyone you are certain will be eliminated today?”
"i’m not sure. while some people’s performances may not have been the best i’ve seen, none of them were so terribly tragic that i’m totally certain that they’ll be eliminated. i guess it’s up to the judges to have mercy on those that messed up. maybe they’ll try to give people second chances... i don’t want to call anyone out, but i also know that plenty of people should be thankful that it isn’t going to be me that’s making that call.”
following the brief segment of showing off his dance skills, yugyeom finds himself being lead to a different room on his own. they sit him down and pretty him up with a dab of makeup here and there which reminded him a lot of being back at that kt super star thing. he’s not someone who tends to wear much makeup, some cover up and maybe light lip tint now and again, but other wise he runs pretty bare face. mainly because his jobs keep him sweating and greasy. so makeup tends to only be for busking when he really wants to.
or when jaehee ropes the three of them in to letting her set them all dolled up for a night of busking. those really are the only times.
he’s not against it. even if he instantly always wants to rub at his face once he’s got stuff on it even though he knows that would mess it all up. luckily, he holds back. and when he gets told whats happening next, he supposes he should have saw this one coming.
interviews.
man he hates this things.
“kim yugyeom, correct?” the interviewer starts, and yugyeom pulls a small friendly smile onto his lips which he tends to use for work. or when he’s trying to hide the fact he wants to kick his team members asses at busking because he doesn’t want the fans to see. that fake kind of smile to get by.
“that’s right.” he answers, crossing one knee over the other.
“you’re a dancer, it seems. and it says on your profile that you’re parents are unknown?”
“uh.. yeah, i was orphaned at a young age--never had a name or anything.” the questioning statement makes him shift a bit awkwardly, trying to hide how bothered he was by it being brought up.
“must have been hard, yet you seem to be doing well. leader of a dance crew and all.”
“dynamite, yeah.”
“how did you get into dancing?”
“when i was younger i would watch music shows and... there was always some kids on the block who would try to dance like those idols we’d see.” he starts explaining, more relaxed now that hes off the topic of his family. or lack there of. “i wanted fit in--seem cool too. so i started practicing from the music shows and... soon i came to really like it.”
“and this was back in busan, yes?”
“yeah.”
“do you have any specific music inspirations? someone or someones who pushed you to keep it up?”
“lc9 for sure when i was growing up. uhh convex yien is also someone i admire a lot. my hyung, park jinyoung--not really a music inspiration. but just over all.” he pauses, raising a hand to lightly rub at his cheek before realizing he shouldn’t do that and drops his hand quickly to his lap. “my best friend too, he’s actually auditioning with me, and he’s in the dance crew with me. his dancing is amazing--i admire him so much. don’t tell him i said that though.” he jokes, and the interview laughs along with him.
"so you have the background in dancing, and your profile says you also teach dance. why do you want to be an idol? there’s more than just dancing, you know.”
“i know, and i love dancing. but i want to do more. i love performing, i did the--uh, trc thing? and it was so wild being on stage. it was a competition yeah, but fu--man. i was so much fun.” he catches himself before he can let the curse out fully. “i want to keep performing. for myself.”
“is it hard going down this path without family to support you?”
“hm.. i wouldn’t say i don’t have family. no parents, yeah. but i have my roommate who’s like a brother to me. my group members in dynamite. friends who support me.” he smiles, a more soft looking one. “i’m not without a support system.”
“that’s very sweet to hear. final question. of the five companies, do you have one you desire more of the others?”
“oh, trc for sure. i’ve always been a fan of trc. lc9 is my favorite group but trc is my favorite company. though.. kt is a close second.”
jei is not a person without regrets. there are a lot of things in her life that she holds some resentment over, a lot of things in her life that she wishes she could go back and redo if given the chance. hindsight is always 20/20 after all - and though jei is often seen as a person that does what she wants and what’s expected of her in the moment, sometimes it can lead to tragic or disastrous results. or it could even just lead to something that she’s never intended to do once, much less again.
and that’s how she ends up here. sometimes, she hates herself for putting so much pride in her own words and for being the person that will always do the things that she says. jei is well known for being that kind of person, and she always has been - even if it so happens that she loathes whatever it is, or even if it ends up leading to her own detriment. and even if she was drunk when she gave her word, the fact of the matter is, she stands by it anyway. no one trusts a liar.
this time, perhaps just this once, jei wishes she was a liar.
the week leading up to the performance has been rough. jei spends most of them under her blanket with her brother’s phone glued to her hand, shopping as if retail therapy is going to help cure the emptiness that loss will leave behind. she had spent the week before the casting preparing, going over choreography that she’d already once learned and recording her voice to lay over the live performance bits in all the right places. since then though, jei lost her interest - not that there was much there to begin with. the only thing that she cares about now is shopping and sleeping.
but she still pulls herself out of bed on the 21st, as much as she may not want to. it’s hard not to recall the choreography and the words of a song that has haunted her since the summer of 2018, even if jei doesn’t want to admit it. even though she would have liked to practice more, sometimes it’s better to just allow your body the grief that it needs. breaking up with hyun was probably the worst thing she could have done before this performance, but it was for the better. for him. for her. for them both.
that’s what she has to tell herself.
by the time that jei arrives, she wants to perform even less than she did when she realized that she ultimately fucked up. the track of her song is still sitting in her bag, safely - she just takes one look at the line and feels nothing. there’s no desire, there’s no interest. at first, she doesn’t even bother lining up because standing there for hours to perform a song for two minutes is the last thing on her list of things she wants to do in her life.
so she spends her time watching performances instead of waiting herself. it was a good thing that she and jinyoung didn’t arrive together originally because if they did, he likely would have pushed her into line with him. an annoyed sigh escapes her lips and she pushes back her hair, eyes scanning the stage and finally seeing him perform some rendition of a song from some group that she didn’t listen to.
and still, she feels nothing. no desire. no interest. deep down, jei wonders if she’s depressed. ( deeper down, she knows that she is and just won’t admit it. )
it doesn’t take her long to meet up with jinyoung, just to congratulate him on his performance. maybe he won’t comment on the fact that she hasn’t performed. maybe she can get out of this and just go home. ( jei should have known she’d never have such luck. ) it’s probably a joke, but he very pointedly says that he hasn’t seen her perform yet and jei knows she’s stuck in this. in reality, he probably wouldn’t care that much if she just went home. but mention the betrayal of her words even passively and jei becomes a stubborn bitch. “ ugh, fucking fine. i’m going.” jei can only imagine the look on jinyoung’s face - more than likely, it’s probably smug - but before she can see it and get more annoyed, she turns away. her eyes roll now that he can’t see her and finally, she goes to sign up, ending up in her place in line for the time that it’ll take for her to perform.
jei finds that she wishes she’d at least feel something. even if it’s hate, it’s better than nothing at all.
when her name is called without much pomp and circumstance, jei still doesn’t really feel anything. there’s no fear, but there’s also nothing else, either - aside from the confidence that she exudes walking towards the stage, her expression is unreadable. but that is just like jei; when she gets to the stage, it’ll be different. even if she says that she can’t feel anything at all, she’ll still be able to express it through her dance at the very least.
because that’s what jei’s good at. it’s the only slip that she’ll allow herself when it comes to her tower walls.
her turn on the stage and looking out to the many faces staring up at her doesn’t really faze her. it never did before either, even though she’s sure that others felt the pinpricks of stage fright while standing in the spot she is. she heard it in some of their voices, even - but when jei speaks, it’s as clear as a bell. “ hello .. my name is jei kim.” bet you thought you’d seen the last of me. “ and i remember a song called tell me.” her lips quirk up just a little, though whether it’s a smirk of confidence or a sneer of utter hatred, no one can be sure. most will probably assume the former. after all, no one could hate tiger jk that much if they’re here ... right? ( they’d be wrong on that, but jei isn’t about to correct anyone over something so trivial - or something that no one else will understand. ) “ so that’s what i’ll be performing today.”
familiarity fills her senses as she takes her place and her position on the stage. this is something that she’s done once before in much warmer weather, some months ago. she carried the same feeling with her then that she does with her now - that this is hardly the thing that she wants to be doing at the moment. but jei is someone who tries to live her life without regrets, so the lack of desire won’t show in her movement.
even if she doesn’t care about trc, even if she’d rather burn every entertaiment building to the ground than to step foot into one of them again, the last thing she plans on doing is fucking up this stage performance on purpose. because even if she doesn’t care about this audition, she cares about dancing. she’d never mock it.
this is a performance that has haunted her since the mgas, though. she remembers every word of the song, every distinct movement, and more so, everything that myname is known for as the music starts to play. jei won’t stumble because she can’t, not when that day is a moment in her life that has replayed in her mind since last summer. tell me is really a song that haunts her, and maybe with this, she’ll finally be able to lay it to rest. maybe she’ll be able to let it go.
maybe this time, she’ll be able to reflect what the song means. that was one of the problems that they had with her, right? her expression?
now that she’s lost hyun by her own choice, maybe she’ll be able to express this song “ correctly”.
anywhere anytime
어딜 가든 어디 있든
네가 그리워 못 참겠어
제발 다시 내게 내게 돌아와 줘
제발 다시 내게 내게 돌아와 줘
어딜 가든 어디 있든
네가 그리워 못 참겠어
제발 다시 내게 내게 돌아와 줘
제발 다시 내게 내게 돌아와 줘
she remembers this song so well. even the parts that weren’t hers in the mgas are ingrained in her memory, easy to follow along with the cues and to perform. some might say she’s lazy for performing a song that she’s already performed once for an entire nation, but that’s hardly the case. while it’s true that jei doesn’t really want to be here right now, would much rather be at home in bed or anything else than trying to dance for a company like a trained monkey, she’s performing this song for herself. to prove that she’s much more than just the weakest link.
jei has already been the weakest link once in her life. that’s not something that she wants to go back to.
도망쳐버렸어 익숙해져 점점
착각처럼 끝이 온 줄 알았어
다 망쳐버렸어 eh
또 난 뻔한 드라마 속 eh
서 있는 거 같아 텅 비어 허전해
그저 후회뿐
singing is something that comes to jei easily. dancing is something that comes to her even easier. rap though is not one of her talents and jei hardly wants to even try mastering it. however, with this song, it’s different. although rap is hardly something that she’s used to doing - it’s hard not to be able to follow along with the words and the flow when this song is something that she’s been replaying over and over in her head for months now. and maybe jei has an easier time with the rap because of it, like those people who can do rap covers easily just because they listen to a song thousands of times. it’s not like this rap is difficult either; it’s just spoken with feeling.
and there comes the problem with expression. but what the judges don’t know is that jei has recently lost someone that’s touched her heart further than anyone who came before him, broke down walls that she built or climbed them just to peek at her through the window with a smile. it’s hard not to be able to express the feeling in this song when it hits so close to home.
between the rap, the singing, and the dancing, of course she’s going to be a better dancer. but jei doesn’t think she’s doing poorly in any aspect at all.
i luv you in my mind
달콤한 너의 말 그때처럼 너에게
듣고 싶어 oh
i know you in my heart
날 위로했던 말
돌려볼게 안아볼게
다시 뜨거웠던 때로
어딜 가든 어디 있든
네가 그리워 못 참겠어
제발 다시 내게 내게 돌아와 줘
제발 다시 내게 내게 돌아와 줘
어딜 가든 어디 있든
네가 그리워 못 참겠어
제발 다시 내게 내게 돌아와 줘
제발 다시 내게 내게 돌아와 줘
if she’s honest, jei never really thought her singing was truly the problem when it came to her performances. perhaps when placed in a group of main singers, consistently, her voice paled in comparison but now that she’s alone, maybe it’s easier to show off her vocal colour more. it’s the only explanation that she has; it’s not like they told her she downright sucked at it but instead, needed to shine more.
now that she’s here, alone and on a stage, it’s easier to vocalize. some parts of her voice are pre recorded due to the way that the vocals overlay other parts in the song that she would have rather sung live, and she’s sure that it’s a shock to hear her voice coming from both the speakers and the microphone that she’s singing into.
jei prepares more than she seems; she knows what she can and can’t do. it could be why her groups called her a good leader, even if she often blamed herself when choices she made led to people going home.
tell me luv
luv luv lu lu lu lu
luv luv lu lu lu lu
tell me luv luv lu lu lu lu
tell me tell me
tell me tell me
luv luv lu lu lu lu
luv luv lu lu lu lu
luv luv lu lu lu lu
내게 내게 돌아와 줘 babe
the chorus itself is a break, much of it pre -recorded and autotuned to sound a little similar to the original. this makes it easier to show off her dance, with every movement defined and sharp as its supposed to be - it’s what myname is known for, after all.
let’s go i miss you all day
너를 그려 매일 마치 화가
and as much as she doesn’t want to admit it, tell me does follow the basis for her skills fairly well. the rap isn’t too difficult, the dance is much more so and the singing is right on key with her voice. jei finds that the rap comes easier if she speaks it with feeling, her brows furrowed together and a darker look in her eye as she looks out into the audience and moves along with the beat.
기억을 replay
don’t pass me by
널 내 품에 줘 uh
널 찾아 헤매 go walk walk hard
on the coming of the final note, she holds it for just a few seconds knowing that it’s not the true ending of the actual song and that the cut would be strange if she didn’t do so. and that’s it - it’s the big finale, the end of the song, and hopefully she’s put her demons to rest. jei really hopes so, because she’s tired of feeling bitter about a situation that she never wanted to be in in the first place.
still though, even with the buzzing of the crowd, jei feels nothing. but she smiles when she thanks them anyway.
"where is her room?” she asked herself as she walked through the hospital hallways, in her hand she held a cookie, wrapped up in see through blue plastic with a white ribbon. yeji really couldn’t tell what room her friend was at, every door looked the same and every hallway too. maybe she shouldn’t have gone off after their performance.
‘i’ll be fine..... yea right.’ she shook her head and looked up at a door, ‘303... i think this might be it?’
yeji walked into the hospital room and checked behind the white curtains, maybe her friend was behind one of them? yeji was wrong, as she turned on her heel for the exit, in the corner of her eye she spotted someone and she turned her head. with wide eyes she looked at the male that seemed to be resting.
do you ever wonder if we'd still be together if what happened never happened?
“….excuse me?” immediately, a wave of emotions hit her, her chest tightening and breath catching. she hates this ( hates these feelings— feelings she’d spent so long trying to rid herself of the moment he’d decided he didn’t want her anymore, for whatever reason ). that was years ago and yet, here she was, feeling like she wanted to cry all over again over the first boy to ever break her heart. “you…you break up with me out of nowhere, without so much as a reason, cut off contact with me for years, and suddenly because we happen to run into each other on our unfortunately shared birthday— cruelest joke of birthday present i’ve ever had, honestly— you get it in your head that you can come and ask me something like that..?”
often, there’s so many faces that he sees in seocho that it’d be hard for him to remember which ones slip out of the field of his vision as he wanders through its halls. trainees come and go, for various reasons - loss of contract, breaking contract, going separate ways, going to different companies .. deciding that the idol path just isn’t right for them. it’s something that he’s grown used to, the loss - not that he’s felt much of it. many of the royal trainees seem to stick around through the thick of it, but that doesn’t mean other companies are the same.
it’s more often at seocho that he notices the loss of someone in particular. he and jinyoung usually made plans to meet up at least once a week, and jinseok found himself attached. they’d become better and better friends through the days that passed and they both attended seocho, but suddenly, one day, he stopped coming. jinseok thought it was strange, but then jinyoung told him the reason he left.
jinseok was happy for him, but it still felt lonely in seocho after that. it just felt lonely after that, because it’s not like they had much of a chance to meet up either. between jinyoung’s musical practices and jinseok’s own schedule, they never really found a time to meet.
until now.
it takes him a minute to recognize him by chance, because jinyoung isn’t presenting the way that he used to. scruff, tired eyes, messy clothes - it’s almost alarming how much the months have changed him, but jinseok still wears his too wide smile when he bounds up to him. “ hey - what’s with the lack of comms, huh?” he pretends not to notice the way that jinyoung looks, instead claps him on the back with a sound of happiness. “ it’s been forever since we last talked and i still can’t believe you abandoned me. i’m never letting you live that one down - how’s the musical?”
After Tigek JK’s announcement backstage the contestants are told the show is over and they may go home. Before you leave, however, a man quickly stops you on your tracks. “Hello! I hope you’re not too disheartened.” While he speaks, the man tries to take something from inside his jacket “We really liked your performance.” The card contains SPHERE Entertainment’s contacting information on it. “Give us a call and we can schedule an audition for you. Just think about it.” And so the agent walks away without much any more information to give.
having decided last minute to do this trc challenge thing, yugyeom wasn’t very pressed when his name wasn’t one of the ones called. realistically he knew the chances would be slim, he isn’t a triple threat for one thing. hearing who won was a shock--but only just as yugyeom has seen the kid practice before and seen him busk so he knows hyunjoon’s got something going for him--and then even more so when he hears the name of friends like dongmin.
dongmin in trc would be fucking hilarious. is the only thing he can think.
he’s lost minhyuk in the crowd, and was planning to step back a bit to try and spot his boyfriend so they could head out when someone cut him off. the dancer blinking at the guy in confusion because who the fuck is this dude?
the second shock of the night is felt when the dude pulls out a sphere business card and hands it to him. yugyeom accepting after a moment and staring at it. the dudes words register in his mind but when he looks up he can see him vanishing into the crowd again. what the fuck? so other companies had been watching--he guesses that isn’t surprising... all five are connected plush something like this is a good way to find other talent.
but fuck sphere was interested in him?
laughter escapes him as he pockets the card and continues on his quest to find his wayward boyfriend. he couldn’t believe someone from sphere just stopped him. he’s got to talk to jinyoung and minyuk before he decides anything--though he’s pretty sure he’ll end up calling. with jinyoung getting called back for trc there’s a chance his hyung could also end up signed again. and yugyeom would be stupid to pass up the chance of being in the same company as yien.
the evening turned out more interesting than he thought.
( OOC: Congratulations on being scouted by SPHERE! In case your muse is interested, they may schedule their audition anytime between the 22nd and 7th IC. The person in the call will let them know to prepare a performance displaying one skill they consider their strongest. Please have your 250+ word audition solos up by midnight the end of Wednesday, May 8th EST. Please tag your solos with #rkttc2audition. Good luck! )
