After third-wheeling JinCky, as she now refers to the ship name in her head, Wendy opts to mingle with the other trainees too. She’s no longer nervous now that they’re just being encouraged to have fun and lipsync to the song. She has some acting experience from musical theater in school, so she should use this to her advantage. A playful smile on her lips, she follows the camera trailing the sunbae artists into the kitchen. Wendy tiptoes toward Bambam oppa, who has his back to her. She pokes him as she laughs at his startled face.
the cameras felt nice, to say the least. seeing them reminded her of the life she’d turned down—the life that she’d given up to become an idol. maybe she even gained a bit of strength from this, realizing just how far she’s managed to come over the last few years. despite the fact that others like to argue that she’s overworking herself to improve, dawon feels happy; a feeling that she’s more than missed out on over the last little while. maybe it’s the time of the year that gives her strength, though she likes to believe it’s more than that. she’s a trainee under nova entertainment, and she couldn’t have asked for better friends.
things felt as if they were going great for the majority of the music video filming. dawon miraculously had yet to find a way to embarrass herself too badly, which led her to believe that things may actually be going her way for once. that’s not to say she didn’t feel nervous, of course; it was quite the opposite, really. at times, she almost believed that her heart was beating one million times a minute, regardless of whether or not something like that would be possible. she had used this as fuel to not make any mistakes, though that potentially made her even more nervous about the whole thing. i can do this.
the majority of the first portion of filming felt like a breeze. her smiles along with the occasional bubbly laughs were all genuine, and she didn’t have to tap into her acting skills at all. despite her nervousness, she was actually having fun; who would’ve guessed? a banana had helped soothe whatever anxiety she was beginning to feel, and she was almost certain that everything was going to turn out great.
it isn’t until the latter portion of the filming that things get a little bit more embarrassing. freestyle dancing. had more frightening words ever been spoken? dawon doubted it. still, it wasn’t as bad as she would have initially thought; there was nothing too demanding, given that it was only meant to seem fun. while her dancing skills may be extremely lacking, dawon likes to believe that she can at least be fun. she didn’t do much aside from moving to the music the entire time, laughter occasionally rising from within her (mostly out of embarrassment, but no one had to know that).
THERE GOES A SUPERNOVA, BETTER HOPE HE DOESN’T BURN OUT
A SUPERNOVA NEW YEAR: PART 1
Two years, he’s been thinking about it nonstop. It’s tiring but this is it. This is his public reveal and it’s bittersweet. Now that he’s got it, he realizes he doesn’t want it. He’d thought it before but this solidifies it. What good does it do him when he feels like he’s accomplished nothing? As if he’s proved Baek Jiyoung right. He doesn’t stand out in Nova and he can’t tell if that’s a bad thing. He’s not the main star and truthfully Rome doesn’t know if that’s what he’s wanted. Did he ever care about the spotlight itself? It’s a thrill, a rush, adrenaline pumping and getting him going but was it the most important aspect to him? Learning about the project itself and how proceeds of certain sales go to UNICEF, he’s more excited about that than he is about making a public debut if it could be considered one. It didn’t dawn on him before, how being publicly unofficial suited him. That he liked being asked if he was a Nova trainee after that summer performance in the streets and having to deny anything. It was fun. Elusive and entertaining.
It’s the accountability. He knows it is. That’s what bothers him right now. It’s not that he hasn’t done anything, because he knows two years is nothing compared to other trainees. Some of the friends he’s made have been here for five years or close to it. Time goes by too fast and everyone is only getting older. Talent isn’t diminished by age but in an industry where all the new groups he sees are getting younger and younger, some are younger than Chris, it looms over their heads but now it’s like the clock grows. It beeps obnoxiously and is covered with led lights the moment people officially know. A countdown he’s accountable for not just to the company but to those watching him from the outside. He just doesn’t want to burn out before he meets their expectations and his own.
Wendy sits outside the makeup area, reading her copy of Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe which she received from Toshi during the holidays. She makes a mental note to thank him for providing her with entertainment as she waits for their turn to be photographed. She has already playfully waved to the sunbae artists’ cameras a few times, showing her book as well. She looks up when she hears footsteps heading toward the makeup room. She barely controls the squeak she lets out the minute fucking Kim Jongwan walks by her, the rest of the Nell members following behind him. Wendy slowly follows them in, crouching in a corner where she thinks she’ll be ignored but still be allowed to stare at he idols all the same. She likes to think she’ll be left alone, until a shadow hovers over her.
this week couldn’t get any better. not only was it hyunjung’s birthday, but christmas was just around the corner. this alone was usually enough to leave dawon in the highest of spirits, but now she was finding out that she was going to be included in a music video. that alone was enough to inspire a squeal of excitement from the girl, though it wasn’t until giving it some thought that she realized each of the benefits.
although it did bring about a bit of nervousness, she figures the pros far outweigh the cons. if i’m going to be in a music video, then i don’t have to keep the fact that i’m a nova trainee secret! not telling anyone had proved itself to be quite the hassle over the last few months, and she’d be more than relieved for that burden to be removed. no more cryptic conversations as she attempts to describe her work environment. now, all she’d have to do is open the mv on her phone and try her best to point herself out. she wouldn’t be front and center, that much was for sure, yet she felt the excitement building up within her nonetheless. jiae is going to freak out. and junyeong! and hyunjung! and seungcheol! her train of thought ran on like this for a while as she mentioned each and every person she was close to, though, eventually, she just had to give up on thinking of them each individually.
[ tw: weight/diet mention ]
perhaps the greatest con to the situation was the fact that she wasn’t even allowed to gain weight over the holidays. she huffs out a slightly annoyed sigh, pouting as she rests her head in her hands. why do bad things happen to good people? still, she had to be grateful for all the good this would bring; while she may not be able to eat everything that she wants, at least it’s for a good cause. her part in this music video, albeit a small one, was the next step in her constantly changing journey. it helped her to remind herself of the fact that she could always save a few snacks for after filming is complete. surely they wouldn’t be able to stop that, right? especially if she manages to fit in a few extra workout regimens to make up for it. regardless, she’d do her best to have a good time, and she looks forward to seeing where this might take her.
“SHOULD I JUST COUNT THE STARS?” JUST MAKE A WISH
A SUPERNOVA NEW YEAR: PART 3
It’s a sweet song and the vibe on set is one to match but it’s not what he’s used to around so many Nova trainees. Different but good. It’s a good change and he’s thankful for it. That’s going to be his love wish for this mv, for it to be received well, for the profits to help UNICEF, and that this warm, affectionate atmosphere in Nova doesn’t end here. As loving as it seems and as grateful as he is, his stomach disagrees completely and what they have out just isn’t cutting it. Rome’s first thought is barely pg and he wonders why they chose to give them cucumbers and bananas of all things. What happened to good old fashioned carrots? Sweet potatoes? Cherry tomatoes? Something, anything less phallic.
He’s considering a banana when someone snatches the one he’s had his eye on and he might as well add it onto his list of things to be thankful for because he wasn’t sure he could take himself seriously while thinking of it. If it was the year of the monkey, that’d be funny. He wishes it was when he looks over at Hwan sunbae.
“So this game continues even on a day like this?”
“A day like what?”
There’s no game in play but if there was, Rome would take the distraction. Part of him wanted to wear the gray sweater from Jihyun. It’s winter wear, right? He knew better even if he’d love to point it out to her, if he gets screen time. His smile is weak when he remembers that he hasn’t told his mom about it yet. It’s not the same as before. She’s watched him on season two of the MGAs and Jihyun on the third season. How can he ask her to hold out for a possible appearance in a music video? They’re essentially extras unless they were part of Team Nova and it shows how relevant he’s become. Hwan notices the silence, the sternness of Rome’s expression and there’s a banana hanging in front of his face. “Here, Tarzan. Potassium’s good for constipation.” He yells “I’m not constipated” too loudly but it’s what he needed to go back to normal. Alright, maybe bananas weren’t a bad idea.
SET HIMSELF ABLAZE, THAT’S NOT MODEL BEHAVIOR
A SUPERNOVA NEW YEAR: PART 2
He’s as much a model as everyone is these days. An instagram model but that’s a joke because that’s a career now as far as he knows. A lot of the females he knew in high school went down that path or want to. But Rome’s barely a role model let alone a model. He wants to be a role model, he’s got that much going for him but he’s far from it. “Man, do you even lift?” is the joke he hears behind him and he laughs because it takes him .01 seconds to recognize who it is. Hwan sunbae doesn’t hold back and it’s part of Rome admires him. Now that’s a role model.
“Are you asking me that or yourself?” There’s one of the reasons Hwan likes Rome. You can respect someone without completely kowtowing to them. He doesn’t want to be feared, just respected, which Rome thinks is something every single damn person should want. He can’t stand when someone doesn’t have self-respect either. He’s said it time and time again but nothing changes. It’s different with Hwan sunbae. He cares what others say in the right way, in a productive way, because it’s cool to ignore hate [he’d say it’s not that you ought’a but you gotta] but ignoring criticism is arrogance Rome wouldn’t touch. Coming from someone like him who used to preen like a peacock in high school, it means a lot. He jokes about lifting and that it makes the shirt fit better than it does on Hwan but he knows it’s not true. Rome’s getting too bulky at the rate he’s going and he admits it’s to compensate for the time he had to wait on his healing shoulder. With all that rest he had to take, he still goes past the limits and it’s concerning. He’s bound to set himself on fire again.
When they are first told that Team Nova will have several short scenes throughout the whole music video, it occurs to Wendy that she was the only girl left with Team Nova. Not to mention, she remembers Seulgi telling her something about Ricky oppa being shipped with Huidong sunbaenim. How did this writer even start writing HuiCky fanfiction? And why were the details accurate? It was almost as if she knew both Ricky oppa and Huidong sunbaenim so well. As for Wendy herself, she didn't see her two sunbaes any differently even after she's read fanfiction about them. If anything, she thinks Nova's creative team can get inspiration from the stories and turn them into possible album concepts for Nova's future boy group, which she is sure both Huidong sunbae and Ricky oppa are part of.
Once she’s done with hair and makeup, she skips over to where she's supposed to shoot with Ricky oppa and Seokjin oppa. This is the first time that all three of them will be seen together in the public eye after the "Wave" promotions. She wonders whether people even still remember them. The last time she was alone in a room with the two boys was when Seokjin oppa was new to the team. There was a lot of tension between Ricky oppa and Seokjin oppa, and she couldn't quite figure out what it was about. As she's instructed to stand between the two boys, it hits her. There will be more Ricky oppa and Seokjin oppa moments in the video, and here she is, the unfortunate third wheel. She should probably send that fanfiction author an anonymous tip sooner or later. She is going to help make a new ship sail... and she is going to make it happen by hook or by crook.
