જ⁀➴ . . . Robert wants to change his lock screen and nearly blinds you and Beef in the process ᝰ.ᐟ
It was late, really late, his shift had dragged on forever and he came so close to punching a fist through the monitor three different times. The Z-Team had really tested the strength of his patience tonight with their fucking around; sometimes it really felt like he was talking into the void.
He locks the door behind him with a weary sigh, kicking his shoes off and hanging his coat up with a slow roll of his shoulders— turns out sitting at a desk all damn day really makes for some nasty tension on the shoulders and neck.
You were already fast asleep in bed with Beef curled right beside your head, faces smushed together, snoring. The sight makes him stop in the doorway for a moment, his expression softening into a tender smile, and there it is again: that warmth that expands through his chest like a warm drink on a cold day— he reckons this is what coming home really feels like.
It’s the perfect picture, his two favourite beings in the whole world all curled up and safe in bed, snoring in unison without a single worry. The idea hits him like one of those lightbulb moments, and slowly Robert moves across the floorboards, avoiding the extra creaky ones before sinking onto the bed— fishing his phone out of his back pocket with a grin.
He had been wanting to update his lock-screen for a while now but the topic didn’t really come up much and he didn’t know how to say— “hey I’m madly in love with you and your pretty face and I want to look at it all day so can you pose with Beef, I want you as my lock-screen.” without sounding like a complete weirdo.
But this? This candid shot, laid out and waiting for him, was perfect.
He unlocks his phone, thumbing the camera app with a faint chuckle— both you and Beef squashed perfectly in frame, snuggled up together like two peas in a pod.
He captures it, and without even realising he had it on the flash suddenly goes off, lighting up the dim space with a jarring bright burst of light. It instantly wakes both you and Beef up, the poor dog simply huffs in offence before hopping off the bed with another incredibly frustrated exhale. you, however, bury your face further into the pillows with a disgruntled little whine.
“What the fuck, Robert?” your voice comes out muffled from the pillows, all groggy with sleep.
Robert freezes, breath hitching, eyes widening at the unintended sabotage— the guilt shoots him hard.
"Oh, shit. sorry… I’m so fucking sorry, baby." He hisses, instantly tossing his phone onto the bed like it had personally betrayed him. "I— I didn't mean to blind you, sweetheart— fuck."
He leans over, gently tugging the blanket back up around your shoulders and pressing a kiss to your shoulder— then to your cheek, then another and another all apologetically.
"Sorry," he whispers once more against the side of your face, voice low and sincere yet with a hint of laughter still in it. "But in my defense? You were adorable, your face was all smushed against Beefs and you were drooling a little."
You glance up at him from the corner of your eye, glaring at him from where you’re tucked into the pillows, still hiding away from the flash-bang that was practically burned into your retinas.
“I thought I was being abducted by aliens.” You murmur into the crook of your elbow, voice all rough from the sleep you’ve been oh so rudely ripped away from by your boyfriend’s sentimentality.
He smiles against your jaw, his soft laughter fanning across your cheek, where he was still showering you with kisses because he did genuinely feel guilty for waking you up like that.
“No aliens, sorry to disappoint, just your idiot boyfriend.” He sighs, brushing his fingertips across your warm cheek to tuck a wayward curl behind your ear— those big brown eyes of his taking in that tired little smile that settles across your drowsy face.
“Mm, well, I guess that's arguably better than being woken up to a little green man probing me,” you reply, a giggle catching in your voice as you turn around to look up at him.
“Yeah?— glad to know I win that competition, babe.” he doesn’t hesitate to lean down, pressing a feather-light kiss to corner of your mouth, his thumb running across the soft curve of your jaw soothingly. “I am really sorry, I didn’t mean to sabotage your sleep like that.”
“s’kay— was the picture at least good?”
He pulls back to grab his phone and you push yourself up, arms curling around his waist, chin resting against his shoulder, so you could peer down at the slightly blurry photo of you and Beef cuddled up and sleeping soundly, his wet nose pressed against your cheek— the peaceful moment before a criminal level disaster.
“Worth the temporary blindness?”
“Mhm, yeah, it’s cute.”
Robert hums lowly in agreement, admiring the photo for a second longer before setting it as both his lock-screen and wallpaper with a satisfied smile, which makes you go all types of giddy— butterflies fluttering around in your belly.
“Alright, better go grovel to Beef too.” He sighs, lightly pinching your chin to tilt your head towards him, stealing one last kiss. “Won’t take long, I’ll be back,” and you could already feel yourself nodding off as soon as your head hits the pillows.
husband!robert robertson headcanons (+ robert's insecurities and self-esteem)
husband!robert robertson who, after two years of marriage still can't believe that he managed to get you to marry him. he really doesn't understand why would you choose a mess like him to spend the rest of your life.
husband!robert robertson who can be very insecure but not really vocal about it. you can see and feel that his thoughts are eating him alive and you have to sit him down to talk to you and vent, always making sure that he feels safe talking to you.
husband!robert robertson who's so touch starved that clings to you like a koala when you touch him but never initiates physical contact.
husband!robert robertson who talks about his marvelous and drop dead gorgeous wife at work. no one believes him until he shows the picture of you two on your wedding day that he keeps in his wallet.
husband!robert robertson who comes home exhausted but know that you usually come later than him so he makes sure to prepare a nice dinner for you two and then a hot bath together.
husband!robert robertson who loves washing your hair, massaging your scalp and feel you melt into him. who loves detangling your hair and form your curls between his fingers filled with curl cream. then diffuses your hair so your neck doesn't get sore.
husband!robert robertson who still doubts about you liking his scars so you always make sure that he feels worshiped in his skin.
husband!robert robertson whose favorite moment of the day is lying in bed with you in his arms, the sheets cool but your body is enough for him to keep him warm. he keeps you close by the waist, your head in his chest and your hand tracing the lines of his scars that you memorized. you aren't really talking about anything, but every once in a while you make a little comment that makes him laugh or he says something that makes your eyes roll. it's perfect for him.
husband!robert robertson who loves lazy sundays. he doesn't have many free days, and the sundays are the only day he gets to really relax and do nothing. he loves to wake up late with his chest pressed to your back, getting up only to make breakfast and go back to bed.
husband!robert robertson who grabs your hand all the time in bed, lifting it to have it at eye level and watches your gold ring like it's sacred. he doesn't really know why, but he's mesmerized by the sight of the ring on your hand.
husband!robert robertson who will never admit it but actually adores romantic teenage tv shows and movies, you have caught him more than once staying up late watching the latest episode of the summer i turned pretty.
husband!robert robertson who is so sarcastic it’s exhausting sometimes. not mean, never cruel, just that deadpan humor that makes it hard to tell if he’s joking until he breaks into that crooked little smile. you’ll be in the middle of folding laundry and he’ll mutter something like, “ah, yes, my dream saturday night activity: sorting socks with the love of my life,” and then wink when you throw one at him.
husband!robert robertson who uses sarcasm like armor when he’s feeling small, pretending he’s fine even when he’s cracking a little inside. you know the difference now, the sharp-edged jokes that mean please don’t look too closely, versus the soft teasing that means i feel safe with you.
husband!robert robertson who’ll mutter “wow, what a tragedy” when you finish the last cookie, or “no, no, i love holding forty-seven grocery bags” as he struggles up the stairs. and yet, somehow, you end up laughing every time.
husband!robert robertson whose sarcasm fades into something gentler when the world goes quiet. when he’s half-asleep, his voice muffled against your shoulder, whispering things that aren’t jokes at all. “can’t believe you picked me,” he says, and for once there’s no irony in his tone.
husband!robert robertson who doesn't use petnames except when he's talking about you, he always refers to you as 'y/n, my wife'. he alos gets flustered every time you use a petname on him, he gets so red if you call him 'pretty boy' or 'handsome'.
husband!robert robertson who will never admit how much he loves laying on top of you, head between your breasts, leaving little kisses in each once in a while. his hands grabbing your sides and you running your hands through his hair and neck, making him shiver when you reach a sensitive spot.
husband!robert robertson who stares at the wedding pics almost every month, remembering one of the happiest moment of his life, only to lift his head and seeing you napping in the couch with beef tucked in your lap.
robert robertson masterlist a/n: wrote this yesterday at midnight because i wanted to take a bite of his other ear so bad
Content: 18+, MDNI, fluff, coffee shop au at the beginning, crushes, you and Robert both being awkward fucks, overworked and underfucked Robert, eventual smut, breast sucking, oral (f), Robert comes untouched (i like this tag), slight perv Robert, scar kissing, Beef shenanigans, Z team shenanigans, just random oneshotty scenes toward the end i wanted to add, happy ending (marriage)
Word count: 5k (lets gooo)
Robert was a tired man when you met him. Starting off as his personal barista. He's the first one in your little cafe every morning. You always greet him with a smile and friendly hello. Poor thing, he looks as if he gets 2 hours of sleep a night. “Name for the order, sir?”
“Robert.”
He's become a regular, and he seems awake enough for friendly banter. Your crush on him was harmless. Or so it seemed to you. You noticed him becoming more cheery as the days went on. He would talk about his work and make sarcastic, snarky comments about his coworkers that made you laugh.
You liked writing cute little messages or smiley faces on his cup. You scribble good luck surviving on his cup. He counters the next morning by sliding a folded receipt back across the counter with You’re doing great. Probably. Written in surprisingly neat handwriting. You keep it. You don’t know why you keep it. You just do.
Some mornings he looks better—less hollow under the eyes, shoulders not quite as tense. Other mornings he looks worse, jaw tight, knuckles white around the cup like it’s the only thing keeping him upright. Those days, you draw a little smiley face anyway. Those days, he stares at it longer before leaving.
“You don’t have to do that, you know,” he says once, nodding at the cup.
You shrug, light and easy. “Occupational hazard. Excessive cheerfulness.”
He snorts. Actually snorts. “Dangerous in small cafés.”
Whenever he's talking, you can't help but focus on those big brown eyes, his freckles that you're still trying to count, man he fills out that work shirt oh so nicely, and what's that odd chunk taken out of his ear that you haven't worked up the courage to ask him about yet, and—
What is he doing to you?
Ten minutes past his usual time turns into twenty. You keep glancing at the door like it’s going to explain itself. It doesn’t. You feel stupid for the disappointment curling in your chest. He’s just a customer. A regular. A man with tired eyes and freckles and an ear that looks like it’s been through something violent.
He does come in, later than usual, hair still damp like he showered in a rush. There’s a faint bruise blooming along his collarbone, half-hidden by his shirt.
“You look like hell,” you say before you can stop yourself.
He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “You should see the other guy.”
You laugh—too quickly—and slide his cup over. This time, instead of a smiley face, you write Be careful, okay?
His finger stills when he reads it.
.•*•.
The week after, he comes into the shop late again.
“Hey Robert, sleep in?”
“Yeah, shit…” He drags a hand down his face, then ruffles his hair like he’s trying to wake himself up.
“Want your usual?”
“I'm just kinda in a rush.”
“You know you can make instant coffee at home if you just need a fix,” you say lightly. “I won’t be offended.”
“Yeah…” He scratches the back of his head, hesitating. “I guess I wanted to stop in and see you, though.”
Heat rushes to your cheeks. “Is that so?” You lean over the counter, resting your chin in your hands.
“I don't think I'm just coming for the coffee anymore.”
Your heart flutters. Okay. This is it. Now’s your chance—shoot your shot.
“Well,” you say, trying to sound casual, “my shift ends at five, handsome.” You add a wink for good measure.
His face flushes, and for a split second you’re convinced you’ve misread everything. Maybe you imagined the tone in his voice. Maybe he just sees you as a friendly barista. Oh god, you’re spiraling.
Then, to your surprise, he smiles—soft, a little shy—and nods, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Great, I’ll see you then.”
.•*•.
The rest of the day passes in a blur. Time seems to drag and sprint all at once as you wait for five o’clock. Then he returns, looking a little worse for wear but happy to see you regardless.
“Hey, w-would you like anything before we leave?”
“No no, I'm fine; I think I've got all I need right here.”
“Robert…” You blush, feeling the heat creep up your neck. “What, um, would you like to do?”
“I imagine you're hungry after your shift.”
“I can make dinner!”
Robert lifts a brow, amusement now slipping into his voice. “I think it's highly unfair that the girl I ask to dinner, who also makes my coffee, would make me dinner.”
You laugh. “Well, what do you suggest?”
So there you are in your living room eating Chinese food with Robert Robertson. Yeah, you had a good laugh about that one. Conversation comes easily after that: work stories and shared venting about coworkers.
“I have some coolers in the fridge if you want,” you say after a while. “Unless you’re driving home soon.”
“I don’t live too far from here, actually,” he says. “And yeah—that’d be nice.”
You get up to grab the drinks, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that this is happening. When you come back, he’s standing a little awkwardly, hands shoved into his pockets.
“You're, uh, free to kick me out whenever. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.” “Oh, don't worry about that. This is nice.”
He sits beside you, close but not touching, shoulders tense like he’s trying not to take up too much space. The TV hums softly in the background, forgotten. After a moment, he relaxes, leaning back into the cushions. Your knee brushes his. Neither of you move it away.
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ
You don't quite know how it happens, but sometime within the past hour he falls asleep on your lap. His breathing is soft and even, with the occasional sleepy murmur slipping past his lips. It’s… cute. You don’t move, even when your leg starts to tingle. You just let him rest. After an hour he stirs. He blinks, unfocused, then stiffens when he realizes where he is. He sits up too quickly, mortified. You smile and giggle as he apologizes profusely.
“Oh fuck, shit—I'm sorry. This is embarrassing. Were you bored?”
You laugh gently. “No. I dozed off for a bit too, actually.” You shrug. “I think you needed the sleep."
He groans softly. “Yeah. Probably. Did I even get coffee today?”
“Nope.”
“Fantastic,” he mutters. “Maybe I should’ve. It’s been… kind of a day. And I fell asleep on you.” He winces. “Thanks for putting up with me.”
You reach over to rub at the bags under his eyes.
You reach out without thinking, thumb brushing the dark circles under his eyes. “It might’ve helped,” you say quietly. “Even just a little.”
Your hand lingers longer than necessary. He notices—of course he does.
“Uh,” he says, voice tentative, “something on my face?”
“Yeah,” you reply. “Freckles.”
He snorts. “Not much I can do about that.”
“Good,” you say. “They’re cute.”
His face goes pink instantly, heat creeping up his neck. He opens his mouth, then closes it again, suddenly very interested in the far wall. You pull your hand back, suddenly hyper-aware of how close you are. You both ultimately lose your nerve and awkwardly space out on the couch.
Robert clears his throat. “I'm gonna head home and feed my dog.”
“Yeah, for sure.”
“You working Monday?”
“Yep.”
“Great, see you bright and early.”
You regret not making a move that night and beat yourself up about it all weekend. But it wasn't a big deal; Robert did the same thing, losing sleep over it even, poor guy. He asks you out again on Monday.
.•*•.
Inevitably you end up inviting him back to your place. You're braver now (and even more desperate for his touch). You're on your couch, both anticipating each other's movements. But he beats you to it. He leans in slowly, kissing you with a gentleness that ignites all your senses. Your heart soars and falls all at once, and you lean into him, blissfully thoughtless.
The next kiss is more hungry, and it steals the air from your lungs. You laugh softly against his mouth, a breathless sound, and he smiles into the kiss. When you pull back, it’s only far enough to rest your forehead against his. The room feels smaller, warmer, like the world has folded itself neatly around the two of you.
“Wow, um, I really like you.”
You giggle. “I really like you too, Robert.”
“Do I need to take you out on another date, or can I ask you to go steady now?”
“Go steady? What are you, 80?” You laugh uncontrollably.
“Alright, alright.”
“I wish you'd do both.”
“Girlfriend, then another date? How does that sound?”
“I like that.” You're still laughing till he pulls your face back to his and you melt into him.
“I'm, uh, not the greatest at this kind of thing…”
You blink. “I think you're a great kisser, Robert.”
“I mean the whole dating thing. It's been a while, and I'm terrified of messing this up. I thought I ruined things with you after the first one.”
“Well, I'm in the same boat. I'm surprised you even asked me at all…” You take his hand. “So let's take it slow, yeah?”
He kisses you again, softer this time—like he’s sealing the promise instead of testing it. It’s slower, surer, his thumb brushing your jaw as if he’s committing the feeling to memory. When he pulls back, he exhales a quiet laugh. “Okay. Slow. I can do slow.”
“Good,” you say, smiling.
He shifts closer anyway, carefully, giving you space to stop him if you want to. You don’t. Instead, you tuck yourself against his side, your head fitting just under his chin like it’s always belonged there.
“Can I ask you something?” you say quietly.
“Anything.”
“Did you… want to kiss me the other night?” Your voice is tentative, like you already knew the answer but needed to hear it anyway.
He laughed softly. “So badly it was embarrassing.” He groans, tipping his head back against the couch. “I replayed that moment over in my head like a crime scene.”
“You fell asleep on me,” you tease.
“I felt comfortable, and I trusted you,” he says, mock-offended. Then softer: “I didn’t want to mess it up.”
You turn to face him, close enough now that your noses almost brush. “You didn’t.”
“Good,” he murmurs. “Because I’d really like to keep doing this.”
“Me too.”
He kisses you again—carefree, affectionate, the kind of kiss that lingers even after it ends. When you finally pull away, you’re both smiling like idiots.
“So,” he says, resting his forehead against yours again. “Girlfriend?”
You grin. “Boyfriend.”
His smile is slow and stunned, like he’s afraid if he moves too fast it’ll vanish. He squeezes your hand gently.
“Okay,” he says. “Yeah. I like the sound of that.”
➽──────────────❥ ₊ ݁⟡ ♡
After a few dates, Robert is sure he can trust you and opens up a bit more. When he reveals that he's Mecha Man, you are honestly more shocked that he asked you to be his girlfriend.
“I figured something was up,” you say slowly. “Some mornings you walked into the café like you got into a bar fight.”
“Well,” Robert exhales, rubbing the back of his neck, “I probably did.”
You blink. Once. “You say that like it’s normal.”
“It’s… occupational,” he offers. “Technically.”
“Okay,” you say, holding up a finger. “Pause. Are we talking illegal underground fighting ring, or a vigilante with questionable sleep habits?”
He winces. “The second one. Definitely the second one.”
You stare at him. He stares back, jaw tight, braced like he’s waiting for impact.
“…You’re Mecha Man,” you repeat.
“Yes.”
“The one who throws cars.”
“Sometimes.”
“And punches villains.”
“Frequently.”
You sit back, processing. “Huh.”
“Huh?” he echoes, visibly confused. “That’s it?”
“What, were you expecting screaming? Tears? A dramatic exit?”
“I was prepared for pepper spray,” he admits.
You snort. “Relax. I dated a guy once who collected taxidermy squirrels. This barely cracks the top five weirdest revelations.”
That gets a laugh out of him—short, surprised, and real. Some of the tension drains from his shoulders.
“So,” you continue, tilting your head, “does this mean the ear thing?”
He instinctively touches the notch taken out of it. “Yeah. Explosion. Long story.”
“Figures,” you say. “I was guessing shark.”
He smiles, softer this time. Then it fades, seriousness creeping back in.
“I didn’t tell you because I wanted to impress you,” he says quietly. “I told you because… if this goes anywhere, you deserve to know what you’re signing up for.”
You meet his eyes. Those same big brown ones that looked half-dead over a coffee cup months ago.
“And what exactly am I signing up for?” you ask.
He swallows. “Late nights. Missed calls. Worry. Me coming home hurt and pretending I’m fine.”
You nod. “I already clocked that.”
“And danger,” he adds. “Real danger.”
You consider that for a moment, then shrug. “Robert, I work morning shifts. I live off caffeine and bad decisions. I think I’ll survive.”
That earns him a quiet laugh—but his gaze sharpens when you reach across the table and take his hand.
“I’m more concerned about something else,” you say.
“Yeah?”
“You told me you’re Mecha Man,” you say gently. “But you haven’t explained why you thought that was less scary than asking me to be your girlfriend.”
He freezes.
“…Because I’ve been punched by tanks,” he says after a beat. that was somehow still easier than risking you saying no.”
Your chest tightens.
“Well,” you say, squeezing his hand, “for the record—superhero secrets aside—that might be the bravest thing you’ve done.”
He looks at you like he’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“So,” he says carefully, “you’re not… running?”
You smile. “No.”
“… You’re sure?”
“Robert,” you say, leaning in, voice soft but steady, “if I can handle you ordering boring black coffee every morning, I think I can handle you being Mecha Man.”
The first time you two have sex is a complete accident. Well… it's like your 6th date or something, and you couldn't keep your hands off each other after a heavy makeout session. His hand accidentally squeezes your boob, and he immediately retracts it.
“Fuck, sorry. Can I?” You frantically nod. “Thank you.” He enthusiastically fondles and squeezes. “Fuck, you're so soft.” You're pawing at each other's shirts, frantically pulling them off.
The moment he unclips your bra, his mouth latches onto your tit. Kissing, licking, sucking, and your moans only spur him on. You fall back onto the bed, and he's pulling off your pants and panties in one go. “Please let me—”
“Yes! Anything-! P-please!” Panting, begging him desperately.
He spreads your legs and, with a quick kiss to your inner thigh, buries his face in your pussy. He's messy and sloppy, and you don't know who's groaning louder. It doesn't matter. He eagerly licks at your sensitive bundle of nerves, coaxing out your sweetest moans.
“R-Robert! I can't!” Your head is spinning so fast you can't keep up with the feeling growing in your core. He pushes two fingers into you, and you come immediately. He cleans you up with his tongue and slurs. “I think I just found m’new favorite treat.” He says with a kiss to your thigh.
“Roberrrt,” you squirm. “Put it in, please—” you reach down to feel the spreading wet spot on his pants. “D-did you-”
“Oooh yeah. I—I just need a minute, please…” He sounds drunk. “Shit, I don't have a condom.”
“Forget it, I'm on the pill. I need you now.”
“F-fuck, ok.” He sits you up, letting you position yourself above him. You're both groaning, letting out a string of expletives as you sink onto him. His grip is bruising on your hip, but you don't care. You rock your hips, throwing back your head as you take him deeper.
Robert is babbling on about how you take him so well and look like an angel. He thrusts up into you and slams your hips down, lost in you. You're soaking his lap; you might even see some drool on the side of his mouth.
“M'close!” You cry out before Robert lets his thumb catch your clit, rubbing in quick succession till you seize up.
“Ah! Robert!” Your orgasm crashes over you, and you milk his cock, feeling him spill his hot seed into you. You drape over him, collapsing in his embrace.
“Fuck, that's not how I wanted that to go…” “Robert, I don't care. It was hot, and I loved it.” Sloppy, messy, passionate. He pulls out of you with a loud schlorp, and you leak everywhere. You lead him to the bathroom for a quick (not so quick) shower.
When you finally get around to going to Robert's place, you gasp audibly at the lack of well… everything.
A chair? A pillow for Beef to lay on? This boy needs some help.
You take him to the mattress store the next day and promise to help pay for it as long as you help him break it in. Suddenly, he's very enthusiastic about mattress buying and becomes a connoisseur.
“Nah, this one's too stiff... How does this one feel on your knees, baby?” You're fully blushing from head to toe when you ask for help from the sales assistant.
You also had to convince him to get a bed frame and slapped him silly after he said he was undeserving of one.
“Robert Robertson, you are not putting that new bed on the floor with no springboard or frame. Your apartment is already a peak male living space.”
“You just hate that I can live comfortably with less stuff than you.”
“Robert!”
He sighs. “Yes, ma'am, whatever you like, ma'am...” Beef gets treated to a bigger bed as well. And some doggy steps you occasionally push up to the bed so he can climb up while you three nap.
The room is quiet in that soft, late-night way. You’re half-draped over Robert, your hand sprawled across his chest like it belongs there. Warm skin. Solid. Familiar now. Your fingers move slowly, tracing lines you didn’t put there—raised scars, thin ones, thicker ones, and some that curve strangely like they changed direction mid-story.
You pause at one, just below his collarbone.
“Those must have hurt.”
Robert exhales, the sound more tired than pained. “Some of them did.”
Not dismissive. Just honest.
Your thumb follows the edge of another scar, lighter than the rest, almost faded. “And the others?”
He shrugs beneath you. “Adrenaline’s a hell of a thing. You don’t usually feel it until later.”
You don’t reply. Instead, you lean down and press a kiss to his chest—soft, lingering. Then another. And another. You map him with your mouth the same way you do with your hands, slow and careful, like you’re trying to memorize where he’s been.
He stiffens at first, instinctive, like he’s bracing for impact instead of affection.
“You don’t have to—” he starts.
“I know,” you murmur against his skin, kissing a scar that cuts diagonally over his ribs. “I want to.”
That quiets him.
Your fingers trail lower, tracing the story his body tells without words. Some scars are jagged, angry. Others are neat, surgical, like someone tried to put him back together after the fact. You linger on one near his side, smaller but deeper.
“This one,” you say softly. “This one scared me when I first noticed it.”
He swallows. “Yeah. That one scared me too. The cut was pretty deep, and I lost a lot of blood. It opened back up a few times and almost got infected.”
You look up at him then. His eyes are on the ceiling, jaw tight, but he doesn’t pull away. “This is me being vulnerable. Please appreciate how uncomfortable I am.”
You press your palm flat over his heart, grounding both of you.
“You’re alright, Robert. You’re still here,” you say. “That’s what matters.”
He finally looks at you. Really looks at you. There’s something unguarded there, something raw.
“No one’s ever…” He trails off, then gives a quiet huff. “No one’s ever looked at them like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like they don’t make me broken or weak.”
You lean up and kiss him—gentle, patient. “They don’t,” you say. “They mean you survived.”
His arm tightens around you, pulling you closer, like he needs the weight of you there to believe it. You rest your head on his chest again, listening to his heartbeat, steady and real.
Robert feels safe.
You really fall in love with beef. How could you not? He's just a big, fat, affectionate lump of love. “Oh Robert… that poor dog. Let me walk him. What kind of diet do you have him on?”
“See food diet.”
“What?”
“He sees food, and he eats it.” You glare at him threateningly.
Most times when you're holding Beef, you can feel the radiating glare from Robert across the room. “Are you jealous, Robertson?”
“Well, maybe if you spent more time with me instead of Beef.”
“Robert, come on, seriously?”
“I'm your family too.” He huffs.
“Of course you are.” You scruff up his hair. “I have two big babies to deal with now.”
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄
“You remember when I would come into the cafe first thing in the morning when it opened? And I would catch you dancing around the counter?”
“Yeah.” You raise your brow.
“I was definitely checking out your ass. Respectfully.”
“Oh, of course. Glad I could provide some entertainment.”
“A good cup of joe and a good JO.”
“Robert! You pervert!”
“I was a little ashamed. But you look reeeally cute in your cafe uniform.”
“Maybe I'll put it back on afterwards for some roleplay.”
“Okay.” He shrugs nonchalantly.
“Robert!”
“What?? You offered!”
“I'm going to punish you for being a perv.”
“I probably deserve it. But you reeeeally have a nice ass.”
“You can kiss it if you want.”
“I thought you said you wanted to punish me?”
“Fine, I'll wear a slick, sleek superhero suit instead.”
“Again, I'm failing to see the punishment aspect.”
“I know, I can't make up my mind... I think I just want to fuck you.”
“That can be arranged.”
.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.
Another horrified gasp escapes you when he tells you his “diet.” He may be going to the gym, but he's not getting any gains with ramen and Twinkies. You soon take over, becoming his personal chef. Going as far as to meal prep for the both of you and Beef too.
“Can you make me coffee?”
“I'm not your barista anymore, Robertson.”
“But it tastes better when you make it.”
“You only want like a drop of cream and sugar now.”
“And?”
“Ugh, give me a second.”
“Thank you, baby.”
You cook and clean for him? What did he ever do to deserve this? To deserve you?
.•*•.
You do try and get him to taste your coffee occasionally. “Come on, Robert, try it; it's soooo sweet.”
“I think that would be considered torture under the Geneva Convention.”
“This is one of the most delicious things in the world! You just can't appreciate it.”
“Aww, honey. You are really committed to being wrong. That's dedication.”
.•*•.•*•.•*•.
One thing you come to learn about Robert is that he has an off switch.
You're there scratching his back when he makes a low groan. Or a purr? “You sure you're not a cat, Robertson?”
“Mmh, keep going, please.”
“Careful, keep being cute like that and I'll bite a chunk out of your other ear.”
“Please don't.”
“You gonna stop me?”
“Not right now; I feel like I'm melting into your cute, scratchy fingertips.”
You successfully scratch him to sleep.
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ
You also learn a few more things about Robert~
“What do you mean you never watched Star Wars?! Or Lord of the Rings?!”
“Never really had time to.”
You proceed to sit him down to binge both over the next week. Went as far as to dress Beef as Princess Leia with the hair buns and everything.
.•*•.•*•.
“Really, Robertson, clowns? You're scared of clowns.”
“You cannot look at that thing and tell me it's not creepy… Staring right through me with those creepy clown eyes.”
“Are you sure you're Mecha Man?”
He flips you the bird, making you laugh hysterically.
.•*•.•*•.•*•.
Robert really likes eating you out. He would go as far as to say it's his favorite foreplay. He calls you his little rockstar because he swears he gets a boost of energy every time he eats you out. Has to get you off a few with his tongue before he even thinks about sticking his dick in you. He’d stay there for hours if you'd let him. Feasting on you like the starved man he is. He's addicted to the way you taste. All of a sudden he doesn't need coffee anymore.
And it goes without saying that he loves your ass and your boobs. “Yep, I could die here.” Robert murmurs from between your breasts, sighing happily.
“Please don't.”
“I might.”
"I'll ban you."
"You wouldn't!" He gasps.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
You show up to SDN one day with his forgotten lunch and a kiss to his cheek; the team gawks at you.
“So did you uh, get a deal to pay an escort monthly or yearly?” Sonar looks you up and down.
“With this budget? Nah, Robert musta had-ta pull some strings.” Prism adds.
“Yeah, there's no way you pulled her, Bobby boy.” Sonar takes a bite out of his apple.
“First, this is my girlfriend, y/n; second of all, fuck you guys.” He pulls you to the side. “Honey, didn't we have a long conversation about never coming into the office?”
“Come on, Robert, we're not gonna bite her.” Malevola rolls her eyes.
“But you will scare her away, so leave.”
You smirk. “It's alright, baby. Besides, I had to bring you your lunch. When you don't eat right, you take it out on me in the bedroom, right? And I thought we could make love tonight for once.” You pout, swirling your finger around on his chest.
“Fack me, I like her.” Punch up adds.
“Yeah, I think she fits in just fine.” Flambae stated.
“Does this mean his dick is bigger than we think?” Invisigal sneers.
“Yeah, you definitely don't have a thing for micro peens, right y/n?” Sonar questions.
“Can't say I do, quite the opposite in fact.”
The team erupts into a howl of whistles and hollers, making Robert groan. He thanks you for the meal and gets Waterboy to show you out quickly in fear of an HR violation. He wishes you had waited until he brought you to work on his own but knew he was going to get teased either way. And when he gets home, he pounds you into the mattress anyway.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
“Beef has legs y’know. He's been walking fine.”
“I know, but he's just so cute. It's fun to carry him around. Besides, it'll be good practice if we ever have kids.”
Robert immediately does a spit take. “Sorry dear, I didn't mean to—i-is that something you want?”
“Well yeah sure, I think it would be nice. We’d make good parents-”
“Put the dog down, y/n.”
“Ooookay.” You do so, and the second you do, Robert pounces on you. Kissing you deeply.
“Do you want to practice making a kid- like right now?”
“Really? You'd want to?”
“Yes.”
“You sure you're thinking with the right head, Robertson?”
“Nah, not at all.”
Robert proceeds to pound you silly for the rest of the night.
─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
And even now he still doesn't know what he did to deserve you. Or why you'd even want him. But you do.
Robert has an album chock full of you and Beef sleeping together in your shared bed. Little does he know you have an album too, but it is mostly him and Beef sleeping and drooling. Like father, like furry son.
It truly doesn't get any better than this. He's thankful for you every day. You're cuddling in bed one night, going on about how he saved you. He saved you? Nah, you saved him—and that's something he tells you on your wedding day through blurry vision.
Both of your vows are less about grand promises and more about quiet truths. He says you saved him in all the ways that mattered. Not with heroics or fists or steel, but with coffee cups and patience. With staying. With seeing him when he didn’t know how to be seen without armor on. He thanks you for choosing him on the days he felt unchoosable.
You tell them he never needed saving—just someone who showed up. Someone to teach him how to rest. Someone who let himself be loved even when it scared him. You tell him he taught you what steady feels like. What safe feels like. What home feels like.
There’s laughter through the tears. There are pauses where neither of you can speak, and no one minds. When you finally kiss, it’s soft and familiar and full—like every night you ever fell asleep tangled together, like every morning coffee shared in quiet kitchens.
Later, when the room is empty and the day has finally caught up to you, you curl into him again. Same bed. Same warmth. Same man who once stumbled into your café half-awake and unknowingly walked into the rest of his life.
“You're a good man, Robertson.” “And you're a wonderful woman, Mrs. Robertson.” He says with a kiss pressed to your temple as you watched your grandchildren play. Robert was a tired man but happy and fulfilled nonetheless.
And it's then you both realize—neither of you were saved.
You were found.
Yeah, dating you? One of the best decisions he's ever made.
₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊
A/N: Ahhhhh I finally finished it. Been working on this one for a while. Thank you for reading! Hope yall enjoyed! Next fic will be Robert x Villain Reader. Happy New Year! Ps: thanks for all the likes and reblogs yall🥲🫶
May I request headcanons for Sonar, Royd, Flambae, Waterboy, and Robert reacting to his shy gn s/o asking to kiss his cheek please?
" like i'm gonna lose you! " . . . 𝝑𝝔 cute ass prompt oml for some its just a surprise peck !! </33 ft. sonar, royd, flambae, waterboy, robert x gn! reader (separately)
synopsis. they didn't expect, but they weren't going to complain!
cw: fluff, kissing n all that sap LOL, gn! reader, established relationship!
wc. idk, not proofread & might be ooc!
< main masterlist | dispatch masterlist >
sonar did not want to expect anything from you, don't take that in a bad way! i mean he didn't want you to feel pressured to do anything just because you were in a relationship, and people made you feel obligated to put yourself into uncomfortable situations.
similarly: an example being public display of affection, he knows you weren't a big fan of it, so he will only initiate it if you would like.
and usually- you would ask him if it was fine to do this or that with him, even if his answer had always been yes... but this once, instincts took over you.
"oh, th.. thank you so much vic'!" you smiled with glee, your face was flushed with small, yet dark hues across your cheeks. maybe you were the angel that came to save him... maybe he should use that line on you next time too! that's what he was thinking about before...
peck!
...
his mind went blank.
completely... empty.
"...victor? sorry, was that too sudden? i-i can um... i can-" you were cut off by his sudden hand on your shoulders, looking at you with those pretty little eyes he stared at you with.. you gasped underneath your breath, your boyfriend still in shock. his ears were straight up, shock still fills sonar as he tries his best to process what you just did...
"could you... could you do that again? please?"
royd loved to show you off, always telling everybody how amazing you are, and how thankful he was to have such an adorable partner like you were. you always returned the affection in your own quiet, subtle ways, likes your hand in his, or a hug that others would barely even notice...
and again, he never forced you to do anything, especially if you didn't want to, or felt innately uncomfortable with certain situations; he should be the one protecting you whilst you do the same, so when you...
leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek when he gifted you your favorite book, and took you both out to the place you both first went out in. "you like it, my love?" you loved to watch him smile whenever he gave you things, like his affection; whether in words, actions, or physical gifts. or all the above.
"oh, royd! i.. i love it so much." you couldn't help but have a show of teeth, grinning ear-to-ear, with that same loving gaze you shared with him many times before. he had closed his eyes shut while he chuckled, rubbing his neck before-
peck!
"i... i really can't think of... of anything else to thank you..." - "u-uhuh, y-y're welcome, angel..."
flambae was known to tell everybody about you. he talked about you so much, others knew just as much as he did, so even when your birthday came around, people would immediately be able to guess what he'd gotten you.
so was it really a surprise when usually he was the one usually initiating the kisses between you?
not that much...
up until this one day you came over to sdn to bring him lunch, a place where everyone could talk to you about how much your boyfriend loves to mention you. "hi chad." you wave to him as he gets up from the seat he was sat up on a table.
“aye… azizam… you made it.” the long black-haired man picks you up briefly as he puts you back down. “wha… for me?” pointing to your small lunch placed in your hands, “mhm, for you.”
you hum as you watch hum take it into his arms, “gosh, this is so good—name, baby what’d you put into this?” — “my love.”
your face had that beautiful little smile you always did, and before he could notice, your lips had pecked his cheek.
“…chad?”
…
“huh? yes, sorry… what, baby? you need new earrings? a ring?”
waterboy… oh herman, you don’t even know what’s coming. as much as you are shy with others, you do tend to like causing a few harmless pranks on your boyfriend—so what was the harm in this one when…
oh my god.
you were just making coffee in your kitchen, early; breakfast brewing carefully, you were doing dishes to clean up after yourself before you see another set of hands beside you, helping you with cleaning up as well,
"oh, herm- you don't have to," you bumped his hip with your own as he shook his head, "no, nono. let me help." a small smile was plastered on the tall man's face. he had been helping you around almost the whole morning,
"herm, it's your day off, you should be resting..." taking a seat beside him on the couch, you gradually lean onto his shoulder. "doesn't matter, i'm always gonna... gonna help you all the same, you're my partner, not my slave."
you felt your heart flutter at his words, god you loved him so much... there wouldn't be much of a surprise when you-
peck!
"...thank you again, hermie." - "u-uhuh, anything... for um- for you." his face still nonetheless in shock, the waterboy couldn't help but blush, you hadn't been one to initiate too much,
even when you lean against him, he was as frozen as the sea during winter.
one way to shock the mecha man of sdn was to tell his incredibly shy significant other about his deprivation of affection, despite being true or not would not affect the results. robert never asked anything of you that he thought would be crossing boundaries,
so the surprise on his face was as clear as day when he received a nice little peck on his cheek from his significant other.
even when his cheeks were heated up, he still spoke with the utmost sincerity and respect as you did, god could you stop looking so cute when you smile like that?
"you know... ahem, you could always kiss me, no need to ask." an awkward cough emitted from his throat mid-sentence to really get your attention, his palms clasp around yours while eye contact is kept between the both of you.
he couldn't help but touch the spot you had placed your lips over for the rest of the day, restless about you- about how easily you could break the walls he had spent years building around himself.
through sarcastic remarks, and ironic insults, he found himself having the utmost seriousness when he ended up in your arms that night, and every other night.
Even with the constant >:/ face they're still a sweet person, baking pastries and cookies for him. You can't really tell how they're feeling because they sport the same facial expression basically 24/7
18+ minors dni
༺๑ i think robert would be relatively normal about it. he's met a lot of people, in and out of being mecha man, plus being a dispatcher for the z-team. not a lot of quirks phase him anymore
༺๑ but robert teases everyone. you are not exempt from that sorry
༺๑ "thanks, grumps," as you give him a tupperware of some sugar cookies you had baked last night. and you just kinda look at him like ???
༺๑ "i'm not grumpy." "really?" and then he's giggling as your eyebrows furrow even further at him
༺๑ purposefully tries a liiiittle harder to make you smile and/or laugh. since you usually looked like someone pissed in your cereal, he misses your happy gestures a lil extra
༺๑ tickles you. pokes your side in passing just to make you gasp and fight back a grin. he can't help himself
༺๑ he loves watching you when you're asleep. ok that sounds creepy but hear me out
༺๑ your eyebrows are relaxed, lips slightly parted and missing their usual pout, you just looked so sweet
༺๑ in the mornings he traces your face until you woke up, and chuckled to himself as that normal furrow to your brows returned
After quite the fatal mission, a bone-weary Robert falls into your lap. And yet you can’t help but look at him?
AKA I NEED ROBERT FICS SO I NEED TIRED ROBERT AND LUSTFUL READER WATCHING OVER HIM PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE
You Big Baby.
⋆𐙚ˑ ֗ ˖⋆ character: Robert Robertson x Gn!Reader
͙͘͡★ warnings: tired and soft rob, just some fluff and slight teasing, cuddling.
You hear the click sound of the front door from the couch, you and beef perk up from the sound of the new arrival. Beef scatters down with his tail wagging a mile a minute, and you are quick to follow your adapted son.
The minute your eyes lay on him you knew what kind of day he had. His face rough, dark circles appeared under his eyes and his body was slouching. His bag tossed onto the floor and there wasn’t any light in his eyes.
The moment he saw your shadow he was looking up from the floor and at you.
Without a word, or any hesitation — you open your arms wide and wait for him to join your embrace.
He of course walks over and takes you up on your offer. Wrapping his arms around your hips and stuffing his head into your neck and shoulders. You felt so warm, so soft and made him feel safe. He very touch of you relaxed his body and mind.
“Wanna take this to the couch, you big baby.” he huffed at the name but lets you pull him along to the couch were your show is still playing. You sit down first and let him get comfortable any way he wants.
Robert tangles his legs with yours and lays his face into your stomach, wrapping his arms over and slightly under you. he sighs in relief and closes his eyes.
You smile. He’s always so cuddly when he’s tired, and clingy. So, you start to brush his hair and scalp with your fingers and give him pats.
The living room was silent, only the sound was of him breathing and the low volume on the tv. But you could care less about what ever is happening on the screen, he was the only thing you wanted to focus on.
He look peaceful. His breathing was calm, and he looked so cute just holding onto you like that. When he’s out saving the city, you know he saves lives- like he always has. But when he’s comes home, you get to save and take care of him.
“I love you, sleep tight.” You lean down to press a kiss on his forehead and he moves a bit in his sleep.
But you see his non conscience smile on his lips. You know he’s okay now.
A/N: Happy new year! This came out a little late, but i hope everyone has a better 2026 regardless!
Pairing: Robert Robertson x Reader ☆ Fluff ☆ 18+!
Sometimes, Robert comes home after a long day, body sporting new bruises, shoulders slumped and dragging his feet, and immediately crashes into you on the couch.
He doesn’t move for like the next hour, burying his face into your neck, caging you under him. You’re stuck like that, staring at the ceiling as he noses at your neck. It’s ticklish, but if you strain your ears you can hear him make soft, low sounds of content—rumbling in the back of his throat, as if having you in his arms like this brings him comfort and relief. Hope you didn’t have anything you wanted to do lol (You don’t. Not while he needs you like this. Everything else can wait).
When you’ve felt his body become more relaxed, you ask him things like “Do you need anything, Robert?” and all he does is grunt. You try to gently urge him for a more tangible, solid answer, but he just hums, holding onto you tighter, arms wrapped around your middle. You hum back.
“Can I play with your hair then, honey?”
Robert hesitates. You feel it in the way he tenses—the change in body language so miniscule you wouldn’t have caught it if you were anyone else. You’re about to suggest something else when he shuffles his head closer to you, face still hidden in the curve of your neck.
“Be gentle.” He says, deep voice muffled against your skin.
You wiggle around slightly, trying to get one hand free (he huffs a laugh as you squirm). As requested, you’re gentle as you run your hand through his hair, smoothing it back from his forehead… over and over again. Eventually, you both fall asleep, with his limbs tangled around your body and your hands in his hair. (Beef joins the cuddle pile, squeezing in between your bodies <3)
-`☾´-
Other times, things go a little… differently.
“I could make you feel better,” you whisper, trailing your hands through his hair… then down the back of his neck. You make sure to run your fingernails across his skin, biting your lips to hide your smile when you feel him shiver.
There’s a beat of silence.
When he lifts his head to meet your gaze, his eyes are dark with want and his breathing’s deepened. Need roils in your belly as his eyes flick between yours and your lips. Robert sighs, chuckling softly, and it took EVERY bit of self-control you had to not pounce him right then.
“You’re just such a tease, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Robert. It was just an idea…” You murmur, moving your hands to wrap around the back of his neck. Leaning in, you ghost your breath over his clipped ear, “...to reward you for a hard day’s work.”
Robert shivers again, breath hitching as you nip at his earlobe. You know he’s biting back a whine with the way he digs his fingers into your clothes, grip tightening like he’s a second away from tearing them off your body. You can see his hard-on straining through his pants, and it makes you very pleased with yourself.
“Better not regret that, baby.” He says, smirking. There’s a dangerous edge to his grin—it leaves you flustered and hot and so obsessed with him that if he hadn’t dragged you to the bedroom by your wrist, you would’ve dropped to your knees right then and there.
mornings with robert robertson... (nsfw under the cut)
robert who barely slept before he had you.. and a mattress. he's spent countless nights of his life lying on the floor, a couch, or that godforsaken lawn chair. he forgot how nice it is to have room to turn over.
robert who uses you as his personal weighted blanket. he likes having you draped overtop him, even if he wakes up in the early hours of the morning slick with sweat. the weight of your body grounds him, forces his tense muscles to relax and submit.
robert who pokes you with the side of his frigid foot, making you curl away from him half-asleep. he only hums and pulls you closer.
robert who is inseparable from you in the mornings. if you try to get up, he always stops you with a hand on your wrist and a sluggish, "where're you goin'?"
robert who will, not even kidding, stand outside the bathroom door and wait to drag you back into bed.
robert who absolutely melts with skin-to-skin contact. he presses himself against your back, tracing the curve of your spine and the meat of your shoulders. trace his scars back, and he's not getting up for the rest of the day.
robert who will, on occasion (about 4/7 days of the week, actually) nudge at the back of your thighs with his knee. his lips will come to the shell of your ear, kissing tenderly at the skin behind it.
robert who, if you give him a whispered permission, slides under the covers and buries his face between your thighs. he licks slow and sensually, tongue laving over the spots that make your toes curl and your hips lift off the bed. he takes his time, cradling your thighs and relishing in the feeling of them around his head.
robert, whose happy place is underneath the warm covers, two thighs squished on either side of his head, and his favorite meal on his lips and tongue. he'll occasionally pull off to suck a hickey on the inside of your thighs, marking you where it matters to him.
robert who spoons you and takes you from behind, slipping his cock into your sopping wet hole. he soothes you with soft praises in your ear, groping at your thighs and chest (big or small, he wants them all) as he slowly bottoms out inside of you.
robert who slowly and leisurely fucks you, hips lazily rocking back and forth. he mostly breathes heavily, whispering words of affirmation, but the longer he goes, the more whimpers you'll get out of him. clench down around him, and he's halting his movements to not cum on the spot.
robert who prefers giving oral rather than receiving, but is all for you wanting to wake him up with head. he'll pet your hair back out of the way, struggling to not tug on you and cum straight down your throat.
robert who, no matter what position he has you in, no matter how tired he is, always holds your hand and keeps himself practically attached to your body. chest-to-back, chest-to-chest, if you're bottoming or on top of him, he's spending less time fucking and more time hugging and holding you close.
robert who, spent and knowing he has to get ready for the day, always takes a moment to gaze at you under the golden light streaming through the blinds. he always gives you a kiss, breathes in the scent of your hair, and listens to the sound of your breathing before getting up for the day.
robert who questions what the hell he ever did to deserve waking up next to such a beautiful human being.
