જ⁀➴ . . . Robert wants to change his lock screen and nearly blinds you and Beef in the process ᝰ.ᐟ
It was late, really late, his shift had dragged on forever and he came so close to punching a fist through the monitor three different times. The Z-Team had really tested the strength of his patience tonight with their fucking around; sometimes it really felt like he was talking into the void.
He locks the door behind him with a weary sigh, kicking his shoes off and hanging his coat up with a slow roll of his shoulders— turns out sitting at a desk all damn day really makes for some nasty tension on the shoulders and neck.
You were already fast asleep in bed with Beef curled right beside your head, faces smushed together, snoring. The sight makes him stop in the doorway for a moment, his expression softening into a tender smile, and there it is again: that warmth that expands through his chest like a warm drink on a cold day— he reckons this is what coming home really feels like.
It’s the perfect picture, his two favourite beings in the whole world all curled up and safe in bed, snoring in unison without a single worry. The idea hits him like one of those lightbulb moments, and slowly Robert moves across the floorboards, avoiding the extra creaky ones before sinking onto the bed— fishing his phone out of his back pocket with a grin.
He had been wanting to update his lock-screen for a while now but the topic didn’t really come up much and he didn’t know how to say— “hey I’m madly in love with you and your pretty face and I want to look at it all day so can you pose with Beef, I want you as my lock-screen.” without sounding like a complete weirdo.
But this? This candid shot, laid out and waiting for him, was perfect.
He unlocks his phone, thumbing the camera app with a faint chuckle— both you and Beef squashed perfectly in frame, snuggled up together like two peas in a pod.
He captures it, and without even realising he had it on the flash suddenly goes off, lighting up the dim space with a jarring bright burst of light. It instantly wakes both you and Beef up, the poor dog simply huffs in offence before hopping off the bed with another incredibly frustrated exhale. you, however, bury your face further into the pillows with a disgruntled little whine.
“What the fuck, Robert?” your voice comes out muffled from the pillows, all groggy with sleep.
Robert freezes, breath hitching, eyes widening at the unintended sabotage— the guilt shoots him hard.
"Oh, shit. sorry… I’m so fucking sorry, baby." He hisses, instantly tossing his phone onto the bed like it had personally betrayed him. "I— I didn't mean to blind you, sweetheart— fuck."
He leans over, gently tugging the blanket back up around your shoulders and pressing a kiss to your shoulder— then to your cheek, then another and another all apologetically.
"Sorry," he whispers once more against the side of your face, voice low and sincere yet with a hint of laughter still in it. "But in my defense? You were adorable, your face was all smushed against Beefs and you were drooling a little."
You glance up at him from the corner of your eye, glaring at him from where you’re tucked into the pillows, still hiding away from the flash-bang that was practically burned into your retinas.
“I thought I was being abducted by aliens.” You murmur into the crook of your elbow, voice all rough from the sleep you’ve been oh so rudely ripped away from by your boyfriend’s sentimentality.
He smiles against your jaw, his soft laughter fanning across your cheek, where he was still showering you with kisses because he did genuinely feel guilty for waking you up like that.
“No aliens, sorry to disappoint, just your idiot boyfriend.” He sighs, brushing his fingertips across your warm cheek to tuck a wayward curl behind your ear— those big brown eyes of his taking in that tired little smile that settles across your drowsy face.
“Mm, well, I guess that's arguably better than being woken up to a little green man probing me,” you reply, a giggle catching in your voice as you turn around to look up at him.
“Yeah?— glad to know I win that competition, babe.” he doesn’t hesitate to lean down, pressing a feather-light kiss to corner of your mouth, his thumb running across the soft curve of your jaw soothingly. “I am really sorry, I didn’t mean to sabotage your sleep like that.”
“s’kay— was the picture at least good?”
He pulls back to grab his phone and you push yourself up, arms curling around his waist, chin resting against his shoulder, so you could peer down at the slightly blurry photo of you and Beef cuddled up and sleeping soundly, his wet nose pressed against your cheek— the peaceful moment before a criminal level disaster.
“Worth the temporary blindness?”
“Mhm, yeah, it’s cute.”
Robert hums lowly in agreement, admiring the photo for a second longer before setting it as both his lock-screen and wallpaper with a satisfied smile, which makes you go all types of giddy— butterflies fluttering around in your belly.
“Alright, better go grovel to Beef too.” He sighs, lightly pinching your chin to tilt your head towards him, stealing one last kiss. “Won’t take long, I’ll be back,” and you could already feel yourself nodding off as soon as your head hits the pillows.
It was Friday morning. No plans, no obligations, just you and Robert in your shared apartment.
You were busy making pancakes for yourself, and Robert whilst also sizzling a side of bacon for Beef (can't forget our good boy Beef)
That’s when you felt it: warms hands sliding up underneath your oversized shirt, feeling up the smooth expanse of your stomach that stopped right underneath the swole of your breasts
"Morning to you to," you murmured, stifling a moan as lips accompanied by a stubbled chin made its way to your exposed neck. The hands underneath your shirt continued its journey before finding its target, hands fondling and squeezing your breasts while a very obvious hard on was pressed on your backside, your assailant humming against you
"G'Morning sweetheart"
You tried to focus, you really did.
But the hands that were now pulling at your hardened nipples were making it very difficult to do so.
"Rob, y-you're going to make me burn the damn bacon" you tried to reason with him, but his hands and hips did not falter. Rather he gripped your tits with purpose, sucking a mark into your skin as you held onto the spatula and the edge of the counter for dear life
"Breakfast can wait, need you first"
Fuck
With quick hands, Robert turned down the heat on the stove top, the spatula long forgotten and placed elsewhere, as he moved you to the edge the counter that wasn't near the stove. Maneuvering to one side, his left arm wrapped around your front as his cock pressed against the exposed part of your thigh, his right hand caressing the exposed skins before bending you over
"Be a good girl f'me, yeah?" he whispered against your ear, fingers delicately moving down towards your lacy (color) thong, rubbing the wet spot that had formed on what little fabric covered your hole. Your words seemed to have failed you as you moaned softly in agreement
With swift hands, he moved your thong to the side and groaned at how wet you already were. "All this from me touching these perfect tits and a lil’ bit of grinding? Fuckin' naughty girl”
His fingers rubbed your slick folds, moving them in a motion that had you reeling when just the tip of his figers grazed over your throbbing clit.
He took his teasing further by spreading your pussy apart and even taking a finger to prod at your tight hole. Just on the edge of entering you—but not quite
"P-please"
"Please what babe? I can't give you want you want without the right words" You could practically hear his shit-eating grin the bastard.
"Please.. I need your fingers"
"Where?"
“A-gh! I-in me! please, need your fingers in my naughty pussy”
“Good fuckin’ girl”
Finally, a slim finger entered you. You threw your head back in pleasure releasing a breath of relief you didn’t even realize you were holding. He let a breath out himself, the warmth of your walls squeezing him so good he practically felt his cock jump in excitement
His hand was firm against your pussy, moving it in and out, and even bending his finger against the soft spot in that had you moaning and moving your hips for more
Soon, one finger become two, and two became three. The squelches of your cunt reverberating in the kitchen overtook the soft sizzling of the bacon as your saccharine moans filled the room
“Fuck, your pussy is taking my fingers so well”
Your right hand gripped onto the counter tightly as your other held onto his arm that was now wrapped around your neck, your well manicured nails creating small crescent moon shapes into his skin.
His pace had increased, his hand & wrist covered in your pussy juices, and the feeling of being full had become very apparent as you neared your impending orgasm
"F-fuck! Robert, please, please, I'm- agh- I'm close baby. Can I cum?"
He chuckled, smooshing a kiss into your cheek
"Since you asked sooo nicely… go ahead baby"
Your moans grew in pitch and finally, with legs shaking violently, you came. Your chest rising and falling in an attempt to calm yourself
Robert’s fingers left your hole with a soft pop!
Strings of white pearlescent fluid stuck to his fingers, some dripping onto the cool tile of the kitchen floor before he brought his fingers back to your folds, rubbing circles on your soaked pussy lips whilst whispering praises into your hair, claiming what a good girl you were.
You leaned your head against his cheek, breathing in his scent that faintly reminded you of the office coffee and burnt bacon—
wait
ssssss
FUCK— THE BACON!
—
fic was inspired by this on twitter. forewarning it is a NSFW post so beware :P
Counterpoint to the "Rob doesn't know he started a Harem." Idea.
Rob absolutely knows he started a harem (eventually) and now uses his pathetic sad boy energy to recrute more villains into the Z-team.
It starts when it becomes apparent that, for some reason, HR won't touch him. They come down on everyone else, but for some reason if they find out Robert is involved they drop the matter. Soon he realizes that he can just do anything. Its not that HR let's the other heros get away with shit, its that they let both Rob and the Z-team get away with shit on each other because its Rob.
(Cue several moments of Rob breaking up arguments just by butting in and kissing the two people in the argument. Its not even Z-team members, just random people and it works.)
The next logical step was to start dropping the crime rate by having Mechaman drop in and recruiting villains left and right.
He fights them just long enough to have them not retaliate immediately and the pops the hatch like
MM "Hey, wanna join the Z-team?"
Bad Guy "No. Why the fuck would I want to join?"
MM "It kinda sounds like you wanna join rn."
BG "Where in my fucking response did it sound like I wanted to join?"
MM *proceeds to break out the Depressed and Kicked Puppy Boy Energy(tm) as he throws a leg over one of the arms of the chair, man-spreading seductively* "Ya suuuure?
BG ". . .oh shit maybe?"
Mechaman proceeds to grab the guy and drag him outside to where the rest of the Z-team is cheering like Houston during the Apollo moon landing and holds the guy up saying
"BEHOLD! THE NEW FUCKTOY!"
"ALL HAIL THE NEW TOY!" the team screams.
The criminal is undoubtedly confused but it's too late for them now.
