Advice how to handle a break with my bf 24M and I 21F so it doesn’t turn into a breakup?
We’ve been dating for over a year and a half and this relationship means a lot to me. About a month ago we had an argument about communication which we talked through and resolved it quickly. Two weeks ago he asked for space because he’s overwhelmed with work and serious family issues. I respected his request but I also shared that I miss him he said that I’m not clingy and that he misses me too and daydreaming about me he said and keeps saying that he’s hurting me even though I consistently tell him that he isn’t Today he suddenly said he wanted to break up because he feels like everything in his life is falling apart and that he’s dragging me down that was very shocking and painful for me after a long emotional conversation he said he doesn’t actually want to break up and that he cried all night but asked if we could take a break instead he promised he’s not cheating isn’t talking to anyone else and that he just needs time alone to focus on himself I noticed his Instagram likes about romantic things like how he's going through things but still love their partner I agreed about the break and I’m respecting his space even though this is very hard for me emotionally. I don’t want to make things worse by acting the wrong way during this break I want us to grow happily together so I'm looking for advice on how to handle a break in a healthy way while keeping our relationship strong.
I seem to be one of the few people who see and accept that breaks can benefit some relationships. I think there are definitely times where breaks are good. Unfortunately, those majority tend to be toxic relationships where both people are bringing unhealthy patterns and behaviors to the table (it's incredibly hard for someone to change a behavior; it's 200x harder for two people to change their behavior and avoid triggering the other to backsliding).
What defines a relationship is the bad times. The relationships that make it are the ones where people pull together and support each other without attacking each other, bringing each other down, or pulling away from each other.
I understand your boyfriend is overwhelmed and needs space. That's valid. But it does not bode well for this relationship that his reaction to stress is to push you away, treat the relationship like a burden, and avoid all issues by blaming it on the weight of the relationship. I'm sorry to tell you that this is likely the beginning of the end. If the relationship survives this break - how many more can you take? Because your boyfriend just displayed that his reaction to any life stress is going to be to run away from you. That's a pattern that's going to wear you down, and at some point, you are going to reach your breaking point and be unable to put up with this anymore.