#relationship breaks

[tooedgyforbrunch]

Girlies, do we believe in taking a break while in a relationship?

[help-my-relationship]

My (27m) gf (27f) has wanted to go on a break for the past 3 exam times. What can i do?

My gf and i have been dating for 4 and a half years and things have been good lately up until today. For some context shes in nursing school and im currently on a internship. She has a new term every 4 months and for the past 2 terms when she’s had a final she asked to go on a break. The first time we went on a break it wasnt really official and lasted around a week and a half and was because of intimacy issues where ours didnt really align where shes rarely into anything intimate to the point where we went without sex for 4 months but since then ive been ok without it and having it not often. The second time, last December, she was mad that i didn’t get her flowers often and she said we need to reevaluate our relationship because we want different things which lasted around 2 weeks. And now comes today which will be the third time as her finals are in 2 weeks. Today she woke up and said she scheduled herself to work 2 days at the hospital on the weekend and was tired and didnt want to work. I responded with “Ur not working -.-. And u dont even have school this week” as she hasnt had class the past 2 days and today her class got cancelled and tomorrow she was going to skip. I know this wasnt the best response in hindsight but she responded with “I cant be tired? My bad.” I didnt mean it that she cant be tired and now she says she will see me in 2 weeks. Ive since apologized but havent gotten a response back. Im not sure what to do since im pretty sure this isnt something that happens with most relationships where you go on a break whenever someone is stressed. I feel like shes looking for a reason to go on another break or something and im not sure what to do. Any advice is greatly appreciated. What can i do from my position?

You can stop accepting breadcrumbs and let her know this is unacceptable behavior, and if she doesn't see it as a serious problem and isn't going to work to address it, then you're not interested in a break: you're interested in a break up. This is absolutely ridiculous behavior, especially considering the age. Is this how you want to spend your next few decades? Feeling like you're getting broken up with every time life gets hard?

[help-my-relationship]

How can a break with my (23f) boyfriend (22m) help our relationship?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year, and we’re doing 6 months of long distance ending in July. I’ll try to keep this short, but recently he’s been having doubts and a lack of confidence in our relationship. He’s been reminiscing old fights which has lead to him thinking that we may be incompatible. We generally share same values, same future goals, and many of the old fights we’ve had haven’t really been re-occurring issues, so I’m not really sure what to make of it that he’s not confident in our relationship. We almost broke up, but ultimately settled on a one week break where we will go no contact. This isn’t like a “we’re broken up so I can go see other people” type of break but I think we decided on just taking the time for ourselves to reflect Any perspectives on if having this break is a good idea? Will this actually bring us closer together or generally do breaks not end well if he’s already having doubts of us

I think there are circumstances in which breaks can definitely help a relationship. Primarily, when one or multiple people involved have individual issues that are worsening relationship issues and can be more successfully confronted when the unhealthy relationship patterns aren't drawing people back into bad habits.

This is not any of that. You've been together such little time, there's no major issues you need to separate to work on, and instead of working together to solve the issues (which is what makes a relationship last!) you're just ignoring each other instead. This just sounds like a slow break up by wishy-washy people who don't want to just commit to what they actually want.

[help-my-relationship]

Advice how to handle a break with my bf 24M and I 21F so it doesn’t turn into a breakup?

We’ve been dating for over a year and a half and this relationship means a lot to me. About a month ago we had an argument about communication which we talked through and resolved it quickly. Two weeks ago he asked for space because he’s overwhelmed with work and serious family issues. I respected his request but I also shared that I miss him he said that I’m not clingy and that he misses me too and daydreaming about me he said and keeps saying that he’s hurting me even though I consistently tell him that he isn’t Today he suddenly said he wanted to break up because he feels like everything in his life is falling apart and that he’s dragging me down that was very shocking and painful for me after a long emotional conversation he said he doesn’t actually want to break up and that he cried all night but asked if we could take a break instead he promised he’s not cheating isn’t talking to anyone else and that he just needs time alone to focus on himself I noticed his Instagram likes about romantic things like how he's going through things but still love their partner I agreed about the break and I’m respecting his space even though this is very hard for me emotionally. I don’t want to make things worse by acting the wrong way during this break I want us to grow happily together so I'm looking for advice on how to handle a break in a healthy way while keeping our relationship strong.

I seem to be one of the few people who see and accept that breaks can benefit some relationships. I think there are definitely times where breaks are good. Unfortunately, those majority tend to be toxic relationships where both people are bringing unhealthy patterns and behaviors to the table (it's incredibly hard for someone to change a behavior; it's 200x harder for two people to change their behavior and avoid triggering the other to backsliding).

What defines a relationship is the bad times. The relationships that make it are the ones where people pull together and support each other without attacking each other, bringing each other down, or pulling away from each other.

I understand your boyfriend is overwhelmed and needs space. That's valid. But it does not bode well for this relationship that his reaction to stress is to push you away, treat the relationship like a burden, and avoid all issues by blaming it on the weight of the relationship. I'm sorry to tell you that this is likely the beginning of the end. If the relationship survives this break - how many more can you take? Because your boyfriend just displayed that his reaction to any life stress is going to be to run away from you. That's a pattern that's going to wear you down, and at some point, you are going to reach your breaking point and be unable to put up with this anymore.

[thelovecentral]

Pause for Growth: Relationship Breaks Explained by Patrick Okoi

Ever felt like hitting the pause button on your relationship? You’re not alone. Relationship breaks, often seen as the kiss of death for couples, might just be the secret ingredient for growth and deeper connection. Let's delve into the world of relationship breaks, unraveling their purpose, benefits, and potential pitfalls The concept of taking a break in a relationship isn't new. Historically, couples have found various ways to navigate rough patches. While the term “relationship break” gained popularity in the late 20th century, the practice has roots in older marital customs where partners would separate temporarily to gain perspective. In modern times, pop culture has brought relationship breaks into the spotlight—think Ross and Rachel's infamous "We were on a break!" from Friends. First things first, what exactly is a relationship break? Image source: Freepik Main Components of Relationship Breaks 1. Defining the Break First things first, what exactly is a relationship break? Unlike a breakup, a break is a temporary separation where both partners agree to spend time apart. This time is meant for reflection, personal growth, and evaluation of the relationship. It's crucial to set clear terms: How long will the break last? What are the boundaries regarding communication and seeing other people? 2. Reasons for Taking a Break Why do couples decide to take a break? The reasons vary but commonly include: Personal Growth: Sometimes, partners need space to work on themselves. For example, one partner might need time to address personal issues such as mental health challenges or career development. Conflict Resolution: Stepping back can help in cooling off and seeing conflicts from a new perspective. Constant arguments about finances, plans, or family can benefit from a pause. Reevaluation: A break can provide the clarity needed to determine if the relationship is worth continuing. This can be especially true for long-term relationships facing stagnation. 3. Setting Boundaries Boundaries are vital to ensure both partners are on the same page. These may include: Duration: Agree on how long the break will last, whether it's a few weeks or several months. Communication Rules: Decide whether you’ll stay in touch or have complete silence. Some couples might opt for occasional check-ins, while others prefer no contact at all. Exclusivity: Discuss if dating others during the break is allowed. Clarity on this can prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings. 4. Personal Reflection A significant part of a relationship break involves introspection. Use this time to assess your feelings, identify any personal issues affecting the relationship, and consider what you truly want. Journaling, therapy, and spending time with supportive friends and family can be immensely helpful. When the break ends, it's time to reconnect and discuss your experiences. Image source: Freepik 5. Reconnecting When the break ends, it's time to reconnect and discuss your experiences. This conversation should be honest and open, focusing on what each partner learned and how they want to move forward. It's a critical step in determining the future of the relationship. Conclusion: Relationship Breaks Explained Taking a break in a relationship might seem daunting, but with clear communication and mutual respect, it can lead to significant growth and a stronger bond. Remember, it’s not about giving up but about gaining perspective. So, the next time you and your partner find yourselves at a crossroads, consider a pause for growth. In summary, "Pause for Growth: Relationship Breaks Explained" has shed light on the nuances of taking a break in a relationship. Whether it’s for personal growth, conflict resolution, or reevaluation, understanding the process and setting boundaries can turn this challenging period into a transformative experience.  READ: Embracing Healthy Age-gap Romance In a society where dating apps and online dating run rampant, people know what they’re looking for.

Fundamentals and dealbreakers exist to guide those on their dating paths. Often, people rule out dating prospects based on money, appearance, and age. Despite society and the previous aversion to age, age-gap romance continues to increase.

[justkenz]

my partner needs a break and my abandonment issues aren't taking it well so I'm absolutely terrified that I just ruined the relationship by not being able to confirm the break,,,, -☆•

Hey! It can be hard to think of a break in a positive manner when you are dealing with some abandonment issues, but kind of think of a break as a way for your partner to take some time to focus on themselves and take care of themselves, while you do the same, and then when you come back from the break you are both feeling reenergized and maybe a bit more on the same page!

I know breaks can sound scary, but they can actually be very beneficial, and people can continue to have a great relationship after a break! You can set boundaries, and things that you both would like to achieve during the break, clarify the reason for the break if you are unsure, etc.

Don't let a break be the reason your relationship is ruined, you can do this!

[purplebunnysrant]

Making myself stronger and taking my advice and boxing my opinion

I just had a talk to my partners sister to talk to her about why I told them all about the situation and man that had me terrified. but I did try my best to stand true to my words and I think I made some progress as being confident as someone who doesn’t get scared when they want to voice their concern to the person.I told them all I wanted and you know what I don’t care if they see me as weird. Cuz I care to much and I’ve been raised to stand up for what u believe in. And I care for him and having peace between the two of our family’s and I’ll try to be strong and make the effort to do it. I feel like I made some progress and no panic attack which is great. I feel I can do more now and I feel I can as well do more on my own. Which makes me happy cuz one step at a time

[purplebunnysrant]

A late night convo that lead me to feeling better

I had to text him not just cuz I was thinking oh we’re getting back together at this moment. At the moment we were facing a obstacle his sister tried to get her son involved and told him not to talk to my nephew which pissed off my sister cuz “she has no right to do that after what her brother did to me…” I’m like just relax things will get better and she got more mad cuz I was trying to be calm about all this solve this rationally and taking a side when there shouldn’t even be a side to take. Then I just went to my room to work on bio I texted him of wut happened and then I got a text from a god army friend of mine and we talked for a few hours during my online bio doing and we had the most randomness of a talk which involved him pulling out a deer antler that he found I’m like ok then. But after the call I told him about the call just in case cuz he knows that this friend in the past has had feelings for me but I politely declined them but right now he was checking up on me as a friend. After the conversation ended I focused on my bio then I got a text telling me he was confused cuz his only response to the three texts and a picture of my army friend and his deer antler left him more than confused and I told him this do happen in the span of him at work he said he was gonna talk to his sister I’m like ok but anxiety kick in I tried to relax but I could feel my heart beat in my ear and feel my heart beat increasing and my body started to twitch which was new and scary to me. Then he called me we talked about the deer thing and my friends tattoo and much more weird things that happened in that conversation and then we talked about the relationship and one thing that threw me by surprise is the fact his friends did question one thing which was why did u leave her she was a really great chick and he agreed but he said he didn’t feel right and he didn’t deserve me which is like wut I was the one who always felt that which was like a plot twist to me and we did talk I have to learn to be more independent with out him so that did mean less FaceTimes but we could still talk I was like I know but I still need u as a friend cuz u r someone that does help me deal with my depression then he tried telling almost everything that I’ve heard before but my thing was I had people I would talk to until I would be able fall asleep wen I felt the times it hit me the most so yea this isn’t something I’m not new since I’ve dealt with this since middle school and high school which surprised him. Then after I managed to calm myself we just talked and then he told me he was nervous that there was a lot of guys at the gym wen we went to ((keep in mind we were at a school gym and normally there’s only a few people there but today happened to be the day when the sports kids came in to work out and I was trying to focus on working out myself until I started to talk to my gay friend))(( also if u don’t understand wut I mean read the previous rant)) so he was making sure if any guy was checking me out or hitting on me and I was like wut I just noticed my friend pj eyeing the supposed eye candy which made me laugh and then my partner was like how was I suppose to know he was gay I was like me and my army friend discussed this there was three things hat gave it away one his fashion when there isn’t anything wrong with a gay guys fashion but they tend to be on the more flash and or flamboyant depending on the gay guy and he was the flamboyant one, as well the fact he was staring at all the sports guys every time I was near him which made me giggle cuz I told him u know there probably all straight right and he just responded with hunny that doesn’t change my mind to look which is kinda funny. And the final fact was his walk he has more of a preppy flamboyant walk which he sometimes has done wen he twerked and after I told all those fact to my partner he was oh god how was I suppose to know to be honest even wen I first met him I could tell he wasn’t fully straight cuz I had him for self defense class and it was obvious to me. And after that he felt a bit better and kinda embarrassed I’m like there is no need to be cuz I mean I would get jealous as well if a girl even if she was gay was talking and making him laugh cuz I mean I would think the worst like many people. After the conversation we did get to bed which I felt things were left on a whole better note let’s see how things move from here r we taking an other side turn or moving forward cuz today will be the first time I go to work and have my coworkers try to talk to me about all the information that has happened well until then let’s see