Secret Apprentice: Chapter 3
Would she wear a mask if she wanted you to know?
Chapter 2 - Chapter 4 (AO3) (FF.NET)
Synopsis: Starfire goes on her first mission as Slade's new "apprentice". Her nerves betray her and she ends up making just enough mistakes to make everyone confused. Meanwhile, she becomes closer to her new partner in crime. In the Titan's Tower nobody is ready for what it's about to happen. Will a mask be enough to keep her secret? Will Robin notice who Red X's new girlfriend really is? Who is Red S?
Chapter 3: Would she wear a mask if she wanted you to know?
Starfire sat on the edge of a big white bed, looking at the window that covered the entire wall on the side of the room. The view was peaceful. The largest trees she had ever seen surrounded the lodge, which seemed to be the only house around. It was something that mirrored how she felt: so lonely and hidden. Behind her, on the bed, a black uniform just like Red X’s waited for her. She couldn’t bring herself to look at it. How did she get to this point? Was it too late to ask for help?
Someone knocked on her door. “You may come in!”, Starfire answered. Red X entered the room with two soda cans. “I figured you were having an identity crisis and would need sugar. So here I am”, he sat down next to her and gave her one of the cans. She took it and sighed. “I do not want to talk to you”, she answered putting the can on the floor. “You wanna talk to your friends? To your Robin maybe?”, Starfire looked at him with an expression only reserved for fights, she was mad, and she couldn’t hide it. Sadly, Robin wasn’t hers which normally made her sad but at this exact moment it only fueled her rage. “He is not my Robin”, she stated. “But you want him to be”, Red X opened his soda and lifted up his mask just enough to drink it. Starfire turned to look at him. He chuckled when he noticed how curious she looked. “You like what you see?”, he asked, putting down the can, holding it in his left hand as he put his two elbows on his tights and spread them to let his hand hang in the middle. He looked at her. Red X asked the question jokingly but a part of him really wanted to know the answer. “I do”, she replied. He laughed immediately. “Hey, I can’t be your Robin, you know”, he replied. “And I do not want you to be my Robin”, she looked back at the large window in front of her. “So what is it? Why are you this sad? I mean, I don’t know you that much, but I can tell from the encounter we had that this is not your normal self. You seem to be the type of person that never feels sadness or rage”, X continued looking at her. “What do you know?”, she asked changing topics. He took another sip of the soda and put it down on the floor too. “I just know that Slade wants your ship. I assume he will fly to some other planet and try to conquer it”, he laid down on the bed. Starfire didn’t move, she looked at him from the side of her eyes. “I am guessing you know the full plan”. He continued, looking at the ceiling. “I cannot tell you; I do not trust you”, she explained as she turned her body to make eye contact with the masked teenager. “Good choice, nobody does. Not even those who knew me back when I lived in my hometown”. He didn’t know why he said that, there was something about her that make feel safe enough to say things that he wouldn’t tell any other person he had met in Jump City, those who didn’t know him by his real name. Either way, he regretted it immediately because the look on her eyes let him know that she wanted to know more. “Where is your hometown?”, he asked to change the focus of the conversation. “Out of this planed. Tamaran”, she replied without even considering the risks of letting him know. So, she felt safe too, he thought. She was an alien, no surprise. “Yours?”, she asked laying down beside him. The two were separated by the uniform that laid in the middle of the bed. “It’s not that interesting as another planet”, he tried to make her forget about it. She just moved a little bit closer to him and he couldn’t stop looking at her green eyes. Those eyes were really controlling even when she was just starting. He looked away, at the ceiling. The sun was coming down, the room was getting darker and darker. The silence between them didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. He didn’t know if he could tell her where he came from. It was a big city after all. He could be anyone that lived in that big city. There was no way she would find out. But what if she told someone that knew the city? And there was someone in her team that knew the city as much as Red X did. She waited patiently for his answer. He could feel her stare through his mask, it felt like she was looking right into his eyes. Could she see past them? “Gotham”, he answered, and she looked up at the ceiling, tilting her head a little bit. She didn’t know anything about Gotham. Where was it? Was it close to Jump City? She could just imagine how it looked and if it was something like Red X, she just pictured a very dark city. The door opened up and they got up as fast as they could. Red X covered his face again. Slade came in holding a silver briefcase. “Red X, I need you back in the living room. Starfire get ready. We leave at midnight. Red X walked out of the room, looking at Starfire one last time before he left. Did she know he was smiling behind his mask? When the door closed after the two man left, she stayed put in the darkness. She looked at the clock on the wall, it was 6pm already. The room wasn’t too dark yet, she could still see her surroundings. She stood in front of the uniform and started taking hers off to get into the black one. This one had an S instead of an X. Slade or Starfire? What did that S mean? She didn’t want to think about it. She just put it on. To her left there was a full body mirror. She looked at herself on it and she could feel her heart falling down to her stomach. She felt weird. She didn’t know if she was about to puke, to pass out or to die. She just wanted to disappear once again. You could see her delicate body under that uniform. It suited her well. Every inch of her body was covered. The boots even covered her ankles. The black gloves hid her hands and also prevented her from shooting her starbolts.
“Starfire!”, Slade called her name from the outside. It was time to get the toys and to learn the strategy that they would be following for this mission.
20 minutes before midnight, both teenagers got out of the lodge. Red X’s motorcycle waited for them outside. Another rule that Slade set for her was ‘no flying’. She couldn’t reveal her powers to the other Titans or they would immediately notice who she was. So, she had to go in the motorcycle with Red X.
Her mask and the uniform hid her hair, so she couldn’t feel it flying with the wind. She couldn’t even feel the wind. Her whole body was covered to hide her identity. There was something comforting about being this covered. She felt invisible to those who didn’t know who was inside. But she missed feeling everything through her uncovered skin. The only thing she could feel was the warmth coming from Red X’s body. She held on to his waist and her chest touched his back. She could feel his heart beating fast, or was it hers?
When they got close to the island where the tower stood, Red X yelled her name. “Go through the back”, she responded. “You can’t fly!”, he yelled back. “I won’t, just go to the back of the tower and keep going, we will get there”, he was about to complain again. “Trust me”, she stated and somehow, he did trust her. He did before but now he trusted her more than ever. And he was surprised to see how as they were about to fall to the water a metal platform appeared connecting the shore on the woods were they came from to the island. He smiled under his mask; he could trust her.
When they got to the Island, they stopped on a spot that wasn’t caught on any of the cameras around the Tower. She got off the motorcycle and stood on the side. Red X took out his helmet, as he got off his vehicle. She didn’t move. “Starfire, the security system. Let’s go!” The Tamaranean princess shook her head. “I cannot do this. I will not be able to do this. I have to go, please”, she was about to walk away when he stopped her.
He grabbed her arms, trying to keep her together. “Calm down. It’s okay, I know it’s scary, but you’ve dealt with worse, haven’t you?”, the question brought back memories from her time as a slave, she had dealt with much worse. “But this is different, Red X. This are my friends. I am a traitor”. Starfire tried to keep herself from sobbing, but it only ended up making her shake. He could feel her body tremble, she felt so fragile. “What do you want to do then, Starfire?”, Red X asked. She let her head down and, in a whisper, she confessed what she had been feeling for a while now. “I just want to disappear”. Red X stayed silent. He had felt that way before and not only once. He became Red X trying to do that. He could say many things he wished someone had said to him when he felt that way but there was something else that they both shared that could be more helpful. “Star?”, his voice sounded softer and calmer than his regularly playful tone. She looked back up at him.
He slowly took off her mask, revealing her face, which immediately broke his heart. Her eyes were full of tears and didn’t have that spark that made her look like she had the strength of a thousand suns inside of them. “There’s something in the suit that can fulfill your wish without making you go away”, he tried to choose his words carefully. “What is it?”, she looked just a child looking forward to a gift, like he did back when he was and hadn't lost everything yet. Red X stepped back and pushed a button in the middle of her utility belt. She disappeared. He took her hand, guessing where it was and lift it up so she could see that she was invisible. “How did- “, he chuckled at her curiosity. Her eyes came back to life with it. “I made your suit just like this one, so it has the same abilities. You have disappeared, Star, you are free”, she lifted her other hand and looked at both of them every way she could. Then all of sudden, she lifted herself up, her joy was back up. For a minute he just stared at her, he couldn’t see her, but he could hear her giggling.
He was smiling again; he had been doing that more frequently today than he'd ever done. Then he looked around and was reminded where he was, what he was there for and who she was after all. He grabbed her arm and pulled her down. “Hey, Star, we have to do this. Okay?”. The Tamaranean girl pushed the button to make herself visible once again. She was still smiling. “I shall thank you for this” and then she hugged him. He froze. Her body was hotter than he had figured it would be when he had previously touched her. Not that he wondered about it. When she stepped away, she took her mask from his hand again and put it back on, hiding her hair as well as she could.
She had to reboot the security system to open the doors up. She entered a few codes in a digital panel outside of the building and then restarted it. She entered the new code “123456” and it opened the door on the base floor. When she restarted the security system, the cameras did too, erasing everything from before and would still be turned off until someone got into the security room and got them back on.
They entered through the metal doors; everything was pitch black, but their masks had the technology to make them able to see in the dark. Now that she was in, the fear came back. She froze after she entered. “Hey, it’s okay. We’ll make it through”, Red X gave her a pat on the back and kept walking to the elevator. They went to the elevator on the back and got in it to get to the top floor just under the rooftop. “No music?”, Red X complained trying to make her laugh. She just looked at him, her body was too tense and her mind too busy to laugh even if she wanted to. He noticed it, even more when he saw her hands shaking and how she hugged herself. He got closer to her. “It’s gonna be alright. You know I am the best at this. I’ll make it easy on you!”, he tried joking around. She didn’t respond again, she just hugged herself a little harder. “Starfire, you know you are good too, you will get us out of here with the T ship in a heartbeat”, he tried a new approach.
When she turned her head to face him, he felt like the knot in his stomach had just loosen up a little bit. Wait, why did he have a knot in his stomach? He didn’t feel nervous ever. Was it...?
“What if they see me?”, she asked. “They won’t know it’s you”, he replied immediately, trying to cut out any thought that could be making her feel so scared. “What if they do? They have known me for a long time and- “, Red X got in front of her and put his hands on the sides of her arms. “They won’t”, his masked face got closer to hers. “But Raven could feel me”, she looked at the screen that showed them that they only had 3 floors to go. “She won’t”, he moved his face to the side where she was looking at, getting back her attention. “But what if Robin- “, he stopped her mid-sentence, putting his right index finger on her covered lips. “He won’t get to you. No one will, I will distract them if they show up, which I don’t think will happen anyways”, as he said that the doors opened, and a small beep announced their arrival. But the outside didn’t look like where they stored the T-Ship. They were on the main floor, down the hallway were the rooms were. Starfire gasped when she noticed. Red X quickly put his hand over her mouth and pushed the button that made doors close. When he got back to her, he noticed that he was too close to her, so he backed away.
“It’s okay. It’s just Beast Boy’s and Cyborg’s room, right? They are heavy sleepers I assume”, Red X pointed out and she nodded. She was blushing under the mask but there was no way she was gonna tell him that. The doors opened again and this time they were both in front of the T ship. They got out of the elevator and stood in front of the door silently for a couple of seconds. Both of them felt nervous but knew they wouldn’t be able to go back so they had one way out of there, and it was through the scape plan.
Red X took her hand and took her out of the elevator. He let her go as they got to the T ship. She climbed onto the ship and opened Robin’s pod. She sat down with the door still opened. Red X climbed on top of it too. She started pushing buttons. First, she disabled Cyborgs security programs so nobody could see where it went or control it from outside of the ship. Then she cleared every Titans information from the ship so nobody else could access it. She just let her access code in it. Then she had to physically remove every pod’s security card so she started doing that as silently as she could.
Red X got down to the floor and stood next to the door just in case. Starfire got back to Robin’s pod after taking out the trackers and destroyed it with a small laser gun that Slade had packed into her glove. Then she had to enter the coordinates. “Did you take out his tracker?”, Red X asked. She hadn’t. She started taking it off. Robin’s security box was bigger it had a tracker and a black box attached to it. She took it out and started to laser it.
The black box wasn’t melting, she couldn’t destroy it. “It is not working”, she got out of the pod and jumped back to the floor. “Let’s leave it here”, Red X replied. “We cannot, Slade said we had to disappear every part of the security plan”, she insisted. “Let me try”, he took the metal box and tried some of his gadgets on it. Nothing worked. “I will cover it in a red X and I will throw it out when we get out”, he pointed out. "I can’t use mine; I’ve got just the necessary in case we need them. “Throw one of yours at it”, he extended his arms as he held the box. She looked at her utility belt and quickly pulled out one of the gadgets. When she threw it, it exploded, it wasn’t one of those sticky Xs, it was a gas bomb and it made a loud noise. “Fuck”, Red X mumbled and let the box on the floor.
“Indeed”, Beast Boy’s voice replied. “Who are you?”, Cyborg asked trying to look for his opponent, but the gas was still not letting them see who was there. Red X didn’t answer. “It doesn’t matter, Titans, go!”, Robin yelled, and the team started trying to fight Red X while the gas started to dissipate. Starfire stepped back slowly, trying to avoid being heard, but it failed. As Beast Boy shifted to an eagle, he heard her moving back to the T ship. She couldn’t see him when he suddenly pushed her to the ground now in the shape of a tiger. He stayed on top of her. The gas was now barely there, and everyone could see their opponents. Beast Boy shifted back to himself as he looked surprised at this new female version of Red X. “Hey, Robin, he’s got a... girlfriend?”, he yelled. Robin looked back at them and he saw a girl hidden behind the Red X uniform and the mask. “She is not my girlfriend!”, Red X yelled as he threw an X that pinned Beast Boy to a wall. As he was about to do the same to Robin, Cyborg pushed him to the side, but he escaped using the button in the middle of his belt.
Starfire was still in the ground frozen. Robin ran to her and with his BoStaff he pinned her back to the floor. “Who are you?”, he asked, and she could feel her heart raising immediately. She couldn’t move. Not because of the BoStaff, but because they had never been this close in this way. “Would she be wearing a mask if she wanted you to know?”, Red X asked jumping down from the T ship and pushing him off of Starfire. As he did that, she stood up and locked herself on Robin’s pod. “Hey! That’s my ship!”, Cyborg ran to his baby.
Red X threw an X that exploded and threw him and Raven to the ground. Beast Boy came at him from his back. Starfire jumped out of her sit. “You are scaring my partner”, Red X laughed as he vanished once more. He had to open the door on the ceiling, so he threw another bomb at Beast Boy and then pinned him back to the wall. He threw an X on Raven’s mouth just in case and an electrical one at Cyborg so it could mess his system up. Robin was getting to the T ship. Red X quickly threw him an X shaped blade to get him off the ship and another one that exploded to put him out for a while. He then pushed the doors button to open it from the inside. As it opened, Starfire checked the coordinates and it started to lift up.
Robin got back up and tried once again to get on the ship. Red X pushed the button in the middle of his belt to teleport himself to Robin. He appeared by his side and pushed him away. They both fought for a bit and Starfire could not avoid looking at them. She couldn’t stop her body from turning around and putting one hand on the glass door. She then pushed herself to get back to her seat and when she did that, she moved the part where the mask and the uniform met on her back letting a little bit of her red hair show.
The Titans were trying to help Robin out, but Beast Boy was looking at the girl inside the T ship and he saw that small gap that let her red hair show. “Starfire!”, he yelled out. Starfire looked at Red X as every Titan looked at her, including Robin. Red X threw another explosive at Robin and then a gas bomb so he could get on top of the ship and fly out with Starfire. As the gas dissipated once again, they saw Red X jump off of the ship using a claw just like Robin’s. He had put a clocking device so that nobody could see the ship flying around the city. The Boy Wonder tried to stand up, but he was really hurt this time. They all heard a motorcycle start and then the sound disappeared.
“Dude! That was Starfire”, Beast Boy said, before shifting into an elephant to get out of the X’s grip. He then got back to his human shape and took off the X on Raven’s mouth. Nobody said anything while they liberated each other. Raven went to check on Robin, who was now slowly sitting back on the floor. As she tried to use her powers to heal him, Beast Boy ran to them. “Did anybody listen to what I just said. That was Starfire!”, he yelled this time. “Beast Boy, that wasn’t Starfire, you are making no sense”, Cyborg replied fixing himself up. “As always”, Raven replied standing up.
Robin stood up too feeling a little bit better. “What?! Didn’t you see it? The way she looked out of the pod”, Beast Boy insisted. “Yes, she was worried for Red X, she got scared when Robin attacked him”, Cyborg interrupted him as he walked to the team. “No! She looked scared when Red X attacked Robin”, Beast Boys insisted, now raising his voice and getting angrier. “She probably was scared that Robin would hurt Red X, I think she is his girlfriend or something like that”, Cyborg started walking away to the door. “No way! I saw her hair! She had red hair! Like Star!”, Beast Boy yelled at Cyborg. He turned back to him. “Red X, red hair. Besides, you know he got a thing for Star, he might have just found a girl with the same hair color and convinced her to do this”, Cyborg walked out. “Why is no one paying attention? She is STARFIRE!”, Beast Boy yelled again. “Beast Boy, stop it!”, Robin raised his voice. “There is no way that that girl is Starfire. She would never do this. She would never betray us. She is the reason why we are a team; she is the one person who is always there for each of us, she was there for me even when Slade was using me against you all. She would never ever hurt us! So, cut it out!”, Robin walked out while every other Titan stood there frozen.
“But she didn’t hurt us”, Beast Boy replied in his softest voice. Cyborg left after Robin complaining about his security system. “I know she has been acting off, but partnering with Red X? You know there is no way she would do that”, Raven explained to him, trying to calm him down. “But what if Slade is using her? You know? The S on her uniform”, he tried to point out his theory. “You know he likes to show off, if he was using her, he would have sent her without a mask to let us know he was behind it”, she took his hand and caressed his skin with her thumb. “But maybe he is being cryptic with the S and trying to confuse us”, she shook her head. “Cyborg is right, Red X had a thing for her, so I think this is his way of showing off to Robin. It’s just that. We will find him and get the T ship back”, she hugged him to erase any other concern he had in his mind.
Starfire flew to Slade’s place and as she landed on the yard, the patio opened to reveal an underground garage with enough space for the T ship and another vehicles. Red X slid in through a ramp on the side. They both got off their vehicles and saw Slade entering into the garage. He clapped slowly as he walked to the couple of teenagers. “Is that everything?”, Starfire asked. “Yes, that is all for now, I will contact you both when I need you, until then you may leave”, Slade stood there as Red X got on his motorcycle. “Goodbye, cutie, call me if you need a partner in crime”, he spoke as he got out of the garage. Starfire waited until they were both alone to ask the question she had been waiting to ask to Slade.
“Why the T ship?”, she said. “I am going to Tamaran”, Slade turned around and walked back to the lodge. She followed him, taking off the mask, clutching it in her hand. “Why?”, she asked, flying by his side like a ghost trying to get inside his body. “I can’t let you know about my plan, if I do that you could risk it”, Starfire got in front of him trying to stop him. “I will not”, she was pushed aside but still tried to follow him. “Please!”, she yelled after he passed by her side. There was no way for her to notice this, but Slade grinned under his mask. “Well, child, your sister is a very selfish alien woman. She will not give up on this ridiculous plan, so I will have to unite with her to get inside of her team and then I will have all the information I need for you to destroy her”, Starfire gasped. “I will...?”, she let the mask fall to the ground. “Kill her?”, he asked. “I don’t think you will have to. I know you won’t want that so I will get every piece of information to make her so weak that you won’t need to do it”, he added. “I will fight her if I must, but I will not kill anyone”, she stated, picking up the mask. “You won’t”, Slade turned around and put his right hand on top of hers. “It’s going to be okay, my child. I won’t let you do that”, he replied before going back to the room in the back of the house. She stayed in the stairs that got them to the house for a while.
After putting her regular uniform back on, she flew to the Titans Tower, with a backpack full of lies. The communicator, the photo, the uniform and a clocking device that hid the backpack. She had managed to accumulate that many lies that Slade got her a black backpack made of the same materials that he made the Red S suit. Red S. Red S. Red S. She couldn’t believe that she would ever get to be that: a villain.
As she flew back to the Tower, she felt that loneliness she told Robin about. It wasn’t that she was lonely when she flew, she felt lonely because she couldn’t tell her loved ones about all the secrets, she had been hiding for what felt like years.
Starfire got to the Tower and snuck into her room as fast as she could. But as she entered the room, she saw Robin sitting on the edge of her bed, looking through the window. The only thing lighting up that room was the screen of her Titan’s communicator which he held in his hand. His unmasked face was barely visible.
She stepped in and he turned his body immediately trying to find her. She quickly let go of the backpack leaving it on the floor at the entrance of her bedroom. She lit up her right hand with a starbolt. He stood up, silently looking at her.
“Where were you?”, he asked. His voice cracked a little bit when he spoke. She had never seen Robin like this. Did she broke Robin? She ran to him and hugged him tightly. He buried his face on her shoulder, his body shook in between her arms. He was fighting his feelings so hard that he didn’t have much energy left to move like he would normally. “Robin, what happened?”. Another lie. She knew what happened, she was there. She saw him.
He stepped back to look at her face once again. “Red X took the T ship, he disabled every security system and clocked the ship so we were blind and know we don’t know where he went with it. He even got a new partner. I couldn’t stop him. He entered into our house and took what he wanted, and I couldn’t do anything”, Robin explained shaking his head in denial. He sat back on Starfire’s bed and told her every detail he recalled. She listened to him, trying to look as surprised as she would normally be if she really didn’t know about this attack.
The way he recalled almost everything let her see how much this mattered to him, how hurt he was, how much pain she had caused. He didn’t mention Red S as much as she thought he would. Did she want him to? Robin ranted until he got to Beast Boy’s accusations. She looked at her door, not because she wanted to, just because she could feel her face burning and another wave of tears wanted to come out of her emerald eyes. “I know, I talked to him. He will apologize to you, he said he was just in shock because of the attack”, Robin moved closer to her, just a bit. “Star, are you okay?”, he asked. “I am so sorry; I didn’t ask you about your day”. She turned back to him. Her eyes were still watery, but she had to at least give him one truth out of a hundred lies. She stared at him with a small grin on her face.
“I missed you”, she whispered. Their faces were just centimeters apart. He let his head down and got closer to her so his forehead would touch hers again. “I missed you too. But... I was worried, Starfire. The only time you left like that was when you were about to be eaten by a monster. Just let me know that you’ll be safe, and I will wait for you. Okay?”, he asked looking into her green eyes. A tear rolled down her cheek as her smile got bigger. He opened his mouth to plead to her once more, but he couldn’t say another word. Her lips were suddenly on his and time stopped.
Robin was not an alien, not a half demon, not a half robot and not a shape shifter. He was just a human trained but a millionaire with a mask. He didn’t know what having powers felt like, he didn’t know what being invincible felt like, he didn’t know what magic felt like until this moment. He could swear that he felt his heart and hers at the same time. He could swear that if they were falling from the rooftop, he would probably be able to fly them back to the top. He felt invincible, secure, hopeful. He felt in love. So in love that his mind erased everything else and just focused on her smell, on her warm body and on her soft lips.
When she separated herself from him, he opened his eyes slowly. Like when you have just woken up after you fainted and you are still trying to understand what happened and how you ended up on the floor. He was trying to figure out how such an unlucky boy like him had just gotten so lucky that he got a kiss from her.
“Robin, are you okay?”, she asked, suddenly getting back to being as shy as she always got when they had any sort of intimate moment with him. “Yes, Starfire, I am”.
The city lights lit up the room a little bit, the right amount for them to notice each other. The teenagers sat on the bed silently. Robin’s body felt tired, but his mind and his heart were going too fast for him to go to bed. Even though he wanted to stay there with her, he couldn’t stop himself from yawning. He tried to let his head down so she wouldn’t notice but he failed. “Robin, you must be tired. You shall get some of the sleep”, Starfire said with a concerned look on her face.
He took the chance to hold her hand in his and just looked at her for a bit. He wasn’t good with words but the touch of his skin in hers and the way he looked at her was enough to let her know how much he cared, how much he loved her, how much he trusted her. Trust. He shouldn’t.
Starfire let go of his hand and she regret it immediately. What if he didn’t understand? What if he left? What if he noticed through touching her that she was a liar?
“Starfire, what is it?”, he asked trying to reach for her hand again, but she looked it away. “I- I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable”, he apologized moving away from her just a bit. She noticed that the space between them got bigger and she feared that this was just the beginning.
Tears, again. Why was she crying so much since that haunting night? She tried to keep herself from crying but it felt like if someone was chocking her. She gasped for air as she let out a little sob, trying to hide her face from him.
Robin almost jumped out of the bed and stood in front of her. He lifted her face with his right hand. “Star, it’s okay, you don’t have to hide yourself from me”, but she had to. She had to hide herself for more time. She couldn’t hold it in anymore and she just started sobbing. Robin hugged her immediately. Her arms were around his waist, her face looking at the door as she leaned on his abdomen. Her tears fell one after the other and it felt like they were not going to stop anytime soon.
“It’s okay, Star, you are going to be okay”.
Fear ate her from the inside. She was too afraid to tell him that she was afraid of Slade, but he was her only chance. She was afraid to tell him about Red X. Even though she wasn’t afraid of him and she had grown to care for him, she couldn’t tell Robin how it happened. She was afraid to tell him about Red S. She was afraid to tell him about her royalty. She was afraid of losing him, of hurting him, of disappointing him.
There was something in his touch that made her feel like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. There was something in him that made her heart want to open up. She tried to let something out, just a bit. I am scared, she thought, but nothing came out of her mouth. She tried it once more, but nothing changed.
Then she pushed him away softly so she could see his face again and then she said it. “Robin, I am scared. I don’t wanna go to sleep, I am too scared”, she explained. It was the truth. She had barely slept this last week. Since that haunting night, she had started to fear the darkness of the night and the new horrors it could bring her way. So, she couldn’t bring herself to sleep surrounded by the darkness that could hurt her and her friends.
“Then I’ll take care of you”, he replied. “Lie down, I’ll stay here with you”. She thought about it for a bit, but her body just obeyed.
She got in her bed and he sat on the edge, on her right side. He held her hand and caressed it while he looked at her. “Close your eyes, Star, I’ll be here”, he said softly as the tiredness took over the alien girl’s body. “Good night, Robin”, was the last thing she could say before she fell asleep.
As Starfire opened her eyes, she saw him. He was sleeping by her side, sitting on her bed, his back against the wall, his hand still holding hers. She looked up at his face. His lips looked so soft and beautiful. That thought brought her back to Red X. What was he like apart from his lips? His skin was white, at least she knew he was not a Tamaranean, she thought. His lips were a soft pinkish color. What was his har like? Maybe black like Robin’s? Maybe red like hers? Was it green like Beast Boy’s? Was he bald like Cyborg? What if it was purple like Raven’s? What were his eyes like? Were they as blue as Robin’s? Were they black like his uniform? She couldn’t avoid thinking about Red X as a guy full of darkness that maybe liked that hardcore music that sounded like anger to her. She imagined his home city like that too. Just a dark city with angry people. What was Gotham really like?
Robin woke up as her mind went wild trying to figure out what Gotham may look like. She didn’t notice it until his hand moved. “Greetings, Robin!”, she spoke in her regular cheerful tone. “Good morning, Starfire”, he replied stretching his arms over his head. “Have you been up for a while?”, he asked looking back at her. “Yes, I have. I was just thinking about-“, she stopped herself. She was thinking about Red X and his city, but mostly about Red X, his hair, his name, his lips. “Gotham”, she almost yelled, trying to distract her mind. “You were thinking about Gotham?”, he asked. Dick’s mind got filled by the memories he made in Gotham. Was he ready to tell her about it?
“Yes, have you ever been to Gotham?”, she asked, and he stayed silent. He didn’t want to lie to her, but he didn’t know if he wanted to tell her about his past, about his parents, about Bruce. “Yes. Have you?”, he asked nervously. She had disappeared for almost a day. Did she know?
“No. I just read the name somewhere and I was trying to imagine what it was like. Tell me, Robin. Is it like this city? Is it cheerful and calm? Is it more like Aqualad’s city? Is it dark and scary?”, she tried her best not to ask what she wanted but she wanted to know more about Red X and this was her only lead. Robin looked away. How did she know about it being dark? Had she read something about him? Had she been trying to know more about him? Why would she do that?
“It’s not like Jump City, it is darker and it can get scary but it is just like any other city”, he tried to avoid giving more details. “Do you know someone that lives there?”, she asked. He knew a lot of people there.
He shook his head softly, he couldn’t lie to her, at least not in his words. “Do you?”, he tried to sound as uninterested as he could. “No, Robin. I would like to go there sometime. I would like to know more about it”, he shivered but moved away from her so she wouldn’t notice. “Why?”, he turned back to look at her. “I have not visited other cities. I have only been in Jump City and other planets since I came to Earth. I just want to know new places”, she explained as she stood up and stretched out.
“But why Gotham?”, he asked.
As she was about to answer, their communicators started beeping. “Trouble!”, Robin stood up immediately and they both went to the main room as he put his mask on.
The other Titans were already there. They looked at the big screen in the middle of the room. It showed them where they had to go. “Who is it, Cyborg?”, Robin asked as he fixed his uniform. Cyborg tried to hack the cameras to let them see what was going on the building that was under attack. The video went live in their main screen. “Red X!”, Cyborg answered as the masked villain ran through the hallways. When Red X went into a room someone else came out of the other door. It was a female in a black costume and a white mask with a red S marked on it. “Dude! That’s Red S”, Beast Boy yelled, looking at Starfire’s surprised expression.
A/N: Chapter 3 is up! I love the poster so much. I liked the one with Robin and Red X in the back but I loved Red S so much that I had to make one for her only. I liked exploring Red X’s relationship with Star. I guess you already know who he is in my version of Red X. But let me say that I like exploring the bat boys in this universe. I also liked putting more weight on Starfire’s emotional struggles. I guess some of you could relate to the feeling of wanting to disappear. At least I do from time to time so I love that exploration of her feelings.
You can already read chapter 4 on AO3, the angst is cominggggg.