#robthoughts

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John Hancock always gives me the vibe of someone who tries to act very cool, but in reality, he's a bit of a loser with low self-esteem problems (affecionate).

I don't mind him being portrayed as some kind of hot guy but I have a different view about him in my headcanons:

he's the type who would secretly sob if someone compliments him/ expresses affection (he wouldn't understand why since he still sees himself as a terrible person)

Honestly? Touch starved. I imagine him as one who had his flings but is not used to constant love/affection from someone. He would want it, but at the same time, he feels like he doesn't deserve it.

Despite that, John is very affecionate and cares a lot for the others. Mostly, he gives hugs.

Also, definitely, the guy who moves in his sleep and wants to stay close to you as much as he can.

likes reading books, especially history-related ones (He would casually drop facts when he's high or during small talks before sleeping). My man in the post-war era referenced Napoleon. I don't think it is common knowledge in the wastelands.

Related to the previous headcanon: I think John would be curious about pre-War politics or at least the culture.

He uses his more bad and corny jokes when he's high, or he's genuinely interested romantically in a person, nothing in between.

Sometimes, he gets hurt by doing the knife trick. Usually small cuts, nothing too serious.

[flwrcrxwnlyon]

Btw I'm fighting in dangerous trenches [people on youtube clearly not understanding Hancock from fo4 and making him a bigot]

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Love being italian and playing fnv in my language because:

- Mr. House has the same voice actor of Peter Griffin. Same for Victor.

- For some reason, Benny refers to my courier with both he/him and she/her pronouns (my courier is a man, also funfact is not Rye, Rye is just my courier oc)

- Benny's VA makes him look like he's in his 20s and even more pathetic (In the initial cutscene, they made him feel truly sorry for shooting us as if he didn't wanted to do it, lmao)

-Arcade's VA is nice tbh, very funny when he's angry and when he tries not to talk about the Enclave

- sometimes the dub is hilariously bad but at least better than fallout 3 and 4

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Watching fallout prime again

Can we talk about how Cooper loved his family? How is still searching for them?

The first scene is just heartbreaking tbh, trying to keep your daughter safe and sound in the nuclear fallout, and then after 200 years, not knowing what happened to her nor to your wife (who suggested the idea of causing a nuclear fallout at first)?

Man, that's rough. I think I will become a cynical bastard as well (NOT ON HIS LEVELS BUT HOPE YOU GET IT).

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Sorry for not posting, I think my mental health is pretty much going downhill right now.

I don't feel really well due to all the recent trans discourses online... seeing people invalidating part of my experiences by saying that I do have privileges (I don't. I'm literally pre-t and I can't pass.).

At the same time I'm feeling unsafe in my own country due to the political times (Italy isn't that progressive and I'm lucky that I'm white) and the fact that my region is *very* conservative... well it sucks.

I do want pursue transition but I feel stuck.

Stuck by the bureaucracy, money since I still rely on my parents and distance since my city doesn't offer help for trans people in public (+ train tickets costs).

It isn't really a great time, I'm sorry.

I do have seven/eight exams this summer and I need to lock in... but I just feel so exhausted by everything.

Hope I can post stuff soon, I'll try to catch a break from here. Perhaps I'll even try to organise a commission chart so that I can be a bit independent.

[flwrcrxwnlyon]

Average Bethesda moment ig

[flwrcrxwnlyon]

Fallout 4 posting again, and I thought about a convo I had with my boyfriend (sorry guys)

Cw: mention of drugs

I just think about Hancock again: He clearly has self-esteem issues hidden by a 'cool' personality.

He's scared of becoming like his brother. He still feels guilty for not being able to save the ghouls who lived in Diamond City or because he couldn't react when a 'friend' was killed.

Literally, he stated how the whole thing that happened in Diamond City affected him and started to use even more drugs and drink more because he felt responsible and couldn't face what happened.

Other than that, this guy literally left his home after realising that the only family member he had was a terrible person. Is just, traumatic

not heavily talking about his brother being a synth rn, but it is horrible as well. He would really never know if the guy who became a mayor was really his brother of his substitute, and either way, he felt sorry for hating him FOR YEARS.

And it is funny how usually the more sadder and to me interesting part isn't really depicted in the works of the fandom, even though it has potential.

Yes, I like him being silly and stuff, but that's partially a mask, another way to not face what happened, a sort of coping mechanism.

And I think it is so adorable that when we (the player) max our relationship with him, he decides to trust and tell sole survivor how he was feeling (I think he never told to anyone since, he's the mayor and probably didn't want to make the citizens worry or something like that).

Also, can we talk about how much of a sweetheart he is when romanced?? How confused is he by sole because they like him??

I'm just

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Sorry, I'm doing a political post since I saw a lot of shit abt transmasc people, dangerous bio-essentialistics takes, and TERF logics (in various platforms).

I essentially think that saying or hating unironically every group of men isn't good. It is dangerous since we are also emarginalising minorities and could lead to even reinforcing the same patriarchal thinking that we need to fight.

PREMISE: since I don't wanna cause conflicts in the comments, etc. I'm gonna just say here a few things.

IS NOT A WAY TO SAY: ALL MAN ARE PURE AND INNOCENT.

Men (mind you: mostly cis.) who want to maintain the system exist, but it is important to say that this system also hurts them, wants them to be violent and competitive against others because people in power need conflict and support in order to sustain (is the same logic as capitalism), and that EVERYONE CAN BE AN ASSHOLE REGARDLESS OF THEIR GENDER.

Also, other things, since this post would likely be attacked by TERFS/right-wing people/bioessentialists:

Is falling into transmisoginistic logics in order to conform the 'norm' (aka: Patriarchy), bad? YES. I'm the first one that is against this. Since I had and still have to face misogyny since I'm currently pre-T and not passing.

Is accusing transmasc people, who also probably experienced/still experience misogyny (mind you: HRT Is still a privilege for lots of us.), of 'supporting the system because they are men or they want to appear more masculine' , also bad? YES.

As people who want to destroy and change our system for good, in order to gather and maintain rights for everyone who is suppressed, we need to stop to say that 'men are entirely evil'.

Obviously, that doesn't mean to refuse to acknowledge the privilege that they have in our society. That means to stop attributing certain bad actions/thinking to the gender that we identify.

That's bioessentialism, the same logic that the patriarchal system is using in order to maintain control and the same logic that TERF uses to mainly attack our trans sisters.

Is just a way that people in power like billionaires, alt-right figures, and politicians use in order to divide the working class and the oppressed and causing infighting between them so that they could stay up in the social hierarchy and distract us from actually change the system.

The cis white able-bodied man worker has more privilege than a cishet woman, POC, disabled people, or LGBTQ+ ones? Yes. He certainly does.

Does that mean he's able to manipulate and control the patriarchal system (that we are all stuck in and also hurt them) like a RICH cis man has? NO HE DOESN'T. Is just a puppet for them in order to maintain the status quo and to discard if he doesn't confirm with a toxic masculinity point of view.

Plus, talking about in specific of transmasculine/trans man people, we do not have the same privileges as cis men.

Saying that 'you have privileges, you oppress us' because of 'men' in the name is reductive and dangerous, that could heavily ignore the possible struggles that a person could have such as being disabled, poor or POC (talking about POC: their masculinity is also HEAVILY seen as dangerous and criminalised by society due to racism).

Passing is something that just a few of us can do, especially if they have money income for it.

Us who can't transition for money, medical reasons, pressure from others, or simply because they don't want to (and that's a valid choice) still get heavily hurt by patriarchy.

And if someone passes, that doesn't erease all what happened to them previously due to our society. Plus, sometimes it takes only one (1) person who knows that you are trans and everything will go downhill.

Medically speaking, some of us still have a uterus, and with abortion rights being violated is getting dangerous (plus, at least in my country, stuff like pads and tampons have pretty high prices now and in some regions is difficult to abort). Yes, I'm including this because it's related to our health care. Is not a 'woman' thing.

I want to conclude this rambling by saying that falling into bio-essentialistics logic not only divides us as a group. WHICH IS DANGEROUS SINCE NOW, WE NEED TO STAY MORE UNITED THAN EVER. But it also helps our patriarchal system by maintaining their same beliefs.