(In relation to your pinned post)
"I don't care what they think, to me, you are perfect." With roceit :)
To Me, You're Perfect
Summary: call Roman pathetic, but he still thinks about that scarred customer he served for a few minutes while he was a barista... he just hopes he'll get to see him again...
Pairing: pre-romantic Roceit
Word count: 2,500
Warnings: bullying, curse words, implied past abuse, self loathing, low self esteem, kissing, food mention. If I missed any let me know!
Thank you so much for the request! Had tons of fun with it! ...been a while since I finished a story heh, so this felt great! I hope you like it^^
-------------------------------------------------------
It's incredible how one encounter can stick with you for so long, a few words exchanged, one or two glances, and that moment is engraved deep into your memory like carvings on stone.
It's been over a year, and still Roman can't shake off the memory of that one customer he served while he was still a barista at a coffee shop:
…
It was a busy day so Roman had to take orders while making them and so he asked for the next one in line's order while his back was turned to them so he could keep up with the coffee orders.
"I'll have one large espresso with extra cream, and please do make it quick, I'm in a hurry but I won't survive this day without my coffee."
Roman chuckled. "Coming right-" the words died in his throat as he finally turned around to face the customer.
My god that man was gorgeous! One eye deep blue like the ocean, the other green like a forest Roman wants to travel in forever. A scar stretched over the left side of his face giving him the look of a tragic hero out of mythology-
"I know, it's hideous. You know, it's not polite to stare." The man raised an eyebrow at him.
"Hideous? N-no it's… you-"
"Name's Janus, just make it quick alright?"
And with that he went to sit and wait for his order, turning Roman's attention back to the endless line behind him.
Roman shook his head and went back to making coffee as fast as he could.
He was about to call Janus' name when he suddenly looked down at the cup and had an idea, he smiled to himself, this was his perfect chance to show off his foam-drawing skills!
"Order for Janus!"
Roman grinned with pride and anticipation as he called for the beautiful man to take his order.
"About time-" Janus stopped as he looked at his cup, a light blush forming on his cheeks as he saw Roman's best drawing of his face inside of a heart on the foam in his coffee.
He cleared his throat, shrugging. "I'm not impressed."
Roman huffed out a laugh. "Really? The color on your face tells me otherwise."
Janus huffed. "Whatever… goodbye then." And he took his cup and walked away.
…
That memory has always been at the back of Roman's mind ever since, holding to the hope he might get to see Janus again.
Roman looked everywhere, Instagram, Tumblr, twitter… the man was a ghost! He couldn't find him anywhere! All Roman could do was hope fate would be on his side.
And, as he walked into his first lecture of the day, it looks like it was.
His heart skipped a beat and his breath caught in his throat as he walked into the classroom and saw Janus already sitting in the back row, back straight but looking as though he's trying to attract as less of attention as he could.
Roman couldn't imagine why, being as pretty as he was-
"Hey! Are you new here?" Someone walked inside after him, smiling at him.
Roman smiled back and nodded. "Yeah! Just started my first year."
The man patted him on the back lightly. "Good luck, if you have any questions I'm right here, name's Erick." He flushed him another smile.
"I will! Thank you." Roman went to sit next to Janus when Erick stopped him suddenly.
"Just… word of advice, don't sit next to the freak, he's bad news." Erick glared at Janus who was either unaware or just didn't care.
Roman found that hard to believe, from the brief interaction he had with the man he seemed like a pretty decent person.
"I… Appreciate the advice but-"
"Come, sit with us at the front, it's easier to pay attention there, trust me." Erick tugged him along and Roman had no choice but to go with him.
Though sitting away from Janus didn't stop Roman from shooting glances at him all throughout the lecture.
When the lesson was over, Roman tried to get away from Erick and his friends so he could talk to Janus in private, but it was no use as Erick insisted he'll give Roman a tour of the university.
It was sweet how Erick wanted to help him get around but… he felt this unexplained urge to be with Janus. Which Roman knew was ridiculous, he only knew the man for less than 5 minutes… so why was he so drawn to him?
"Don't sit next to the freak"
Freak…
It seems like Janus isn't having a great time here.
"I know, it's hideous"
And it might very well have something to do with his scar…
At last, he was able to shake off Erick around lunch time, though by then he had no idea where Janus was.
Roman sighed in defeat and went to the bathroom to refresh a bit before his next lesson.
"Hey! Watch where you're going freak!" He heard someone yell outside of the restroom he was washing his hands at.
Janus…
Roman thought and his heartbeat picked up as he rushed outside to the source of the yelling.
Janus was clutching his notebook tightly in his hands as he glared at the bully who, Roman guessed, pushed him.
He huffed. "I'm the freak, you haven't looked in a mirror recently, have you?"
Roman snorted quietly at the clever retort though the bully didn't seem to appreciate it.
"Condescending prick!" He clenched his fist and sent a punch towards Janus' face.
Roman didn't think before he rushed to push Janus out of the way, sending them both tumbling to the ground in a tangled heap, ending with Roman panting on top of Janus' stunned face.
Roman blushed a deep red as he realized their position before Janus shoved him off so he can get back to his feet.
"Aww what's wrong, freak? Can't face me on your own?" The bully teased.
Roman leaped to his feet, standing between the two. "Stop calling him that!"
The bully huffed. "What's it to you? I suggest you walk away, newbie, this has nothing to do with you-"
"What is the meaning of this?" A professor suddenly showed up in the hallway, gazing sternly as he looked at the three students.
The bully looked away, anger sipping away from him. "Nothing sir… we were just talking."
The professor eyed them suspiciously but nodded. "You better talk on the way to class, in that case, so you won't be late."
They all nodded. "Yes sir."
"I don't know who you are or why you did it, but I don't need your help." Janus hissed at him.
Roman frowned. "Um… you're welcome?"
"Just stay away alright? I've been doing just fine on my own, I don't need your pitty." Janus spat accusingly.
Roman bit his lip. "...I'm sorry… I was just trying to help…" he looked down at his shoes as they walked.
Janus sighed. "It's fine… today was just a lot…" he side eyed Roman. "...No one stood up to me before."
Roman blushed. "It's not fair how they treat you and… well I've dealt with enough bullies in my life. You just looked like you needed someone at your side so I just… jumped in… I'm sorry if I made things worse…"
Janus stopped and sighed again. "No, it's okay… I'm sorry I lashed out at you…" he cleared his throat and reached his hand. "Start over?"
Roman smiled and nodded, shaking his hand. "I'm Janus" he said and as Roman was about to respond, they suddenly locked eyes and all thought was driven away from his mind.
"...gay." was what came out instead. Janus raised an amused eyebrow. "I-I mean Roman, not gay… well, I am gay it's just not my name ah…" Roman blushed furiously and Janus chuckled.
"C'mon, gay, we better hurry before we're late to class." Janus teased and started walking again.
"You're not going to let it go anytime soon, are you?" Roman grumbled, cheeks still flushed.
"Not a chance, pretty boy." Janus smirked at him.
…
"Just ask already, will you?" Janus smiled knowingly at him as he took a bite from his sandwich.
It was a few days since Roman stood up for Janus and they were sitting on a bench outside and eating their lunch.
Roman blushed. "I don't know what you're talking about…"
Janus raised his eyebrow in that infuriatingly charming way of his. "Aha… so you're not wondering about my scar."
Roman bit his lip in hesitation. "Maybe a little? I don't want you to feel obligated to tell me about it though…" he added quickly.
"Well… it's not something I like to talk about… but you might as well ask so we can get it out of the way." Janus said, a bit more hesitant now.
"Okay so… how did you get your scar?" Roman asked gently.
Janus shrugged. "Let's just call it childhood trauma and leave it at that." He said and Roman nodded.
"Now I get to ask you a personal question." Janus smirked.
"Wha- you told me to ask!" Roman protested.
"Ah ah ah." Janus reprimanded him, clearly enjoying this. "Play nice, pretty boy."
Roman sighed defeatedly. "Fine, what do you want to know?"
Janus stretched it out, seeming considerate even though he clearly had a question in mind.
"Would you spill it already?" Roman snapped.
Janus chuckled. "Alright alright, I'm just curious to know about your family, where did all of this come from." He gestured towards Roman when he said 'this'.
Roman shook his head. "No, absolutely not." He said stubbornly.
"My word, Roman, are you really going to break the rules of our game? And after I shared with you my traumatic past?" Janus teased him and Roman hated how that was working on him.
"Okay, okay, you win." Janus grinned as Roman took a deep breath. "I… well not many people know this about me, which is very intentional, but… I have a twin brother."
Janus raised an eyebrow again. "That's your big secret?"
Roman huffed. "Well… to put it lightly… we're very different, like… two-different-galaxies different. For instance he has no tact whatsoever, he's very impulsive, loud and not to mention extremely inappropriate." Roman explained.
"Hmm I don't know, you two sound very similar." Janus smirked.
Roman inhaled a dramatic gasp. "You take that back!"
"No tact? Mister gay?" Janus pointed out. "Impulsive? Like, throwing-yourself-in-front-of-a-bully impulsive?" He continued.
"Well that's-"
"Loud? Mister Singing-In-The-Bathroom?" Janus added.
"We're not similar." Roman said angrily but Janus just chuckled.
"Whatever you say, pretty boy, we better get going anyway."
Ronan huffed in slight annoyance, but he can't stay mad at Janus for long. "Yeah okay."
…
After finally connecting with Janus, Roman was excited for the rest of the year with him and smiled to himself all the way to the university everyday, waiting to see him once again.
After about two weeks, however, Janus wasn't seated in his usual spot, nor did Roman see him at all in the first half of the day. He didn't answer any of his calls or texts either…
Something must have happened.
But Roman didn't know where he is, and the realization that he couldn't help him made him feel more helpless than he ever felt before.
"C'mon man! I really need to go! Open the door!"
Roman looked up to see a student banging on the bathroom door desperately, someone must have locked it from the inside.
"There's, plenty of other bathrooms, just go away!"
Roman stopped dead in his tracks, he would recognize that sarcastic voice anywhere.
Janus.
The student huffed in annoyance and ran to find a different bathroom.
Roman approched the door and leaned his ear on it, he could hear muffled sobs that made his heart ache.
"Janus?" He asked softly, but the sobs continued with no response from the scarred man on the other side.
"I know you're in there… you know you can talk to me, right? I want to help."
Still no response.
Roman sighed. "I've been really worried about you all day… what happened?"
"...You need to stop… wasting time on me…" Janus finally said quietly. "I'm just a self-loathing freak… you know what everyone thinks about me… and they're right." Janus sobbed. "They're right, they're right, they're right." He repeated brokenly.
"Stop it, they're not right! You're smart, clever, sarcastic, charming and unbelievingly beautiful." Roman insisted.
Janus sniffed. "You're just saying it to make me feel better, I know you're my friend just because you feel sorry for me, admit it."
"I'm not! I liked you from the moment I saw you, Janus." Roman confessed
Janus huffed. "Two weeks ago?" He asked bitterly.
Roman took a deep breath. "No… a year and a half ago." He finally said.
Janus was silent for a few moments. "...What?"
Roman hesitated. "I know you don't remember it but… we actually met… a year and a half ago. It was brief and I only served you coffee but well… it stuck with me, you stuck with me." He took another deep breath. "So trust me when I say, I'm not hanging out with you because I pity you… I'm hanging out with you because… you're you."
"...The drawing on my coffee… that was you! Oh fuck I totally forgot about it!" Roman heard the click of the lock and the door swung open. "Why didn't you say anything?"
Roman blushed and looked away. "Well it was a while back and you didn't seem to remember so… I didn't want to come off as pathetic…"
Janus looked down. "Did you really… think of me this whole time?"
Roman smiled, tilting his chin lightly so their eyes would meet. "Janus, believe me when I say: I don't care what they think, to me, you're perfect. You always have been."
Janus' eyes sparkled at those words, making them look even more mesmerizing than before, if that was possible.
Before Roman could say anything else, he felt Janus tug at his collar and pulled him into a desperate kiss.
Roman melted into it, letting Janus kiss him however he wished. How many times since that day in the coffee shop has he imagined kissing him? Wondered how his lips will feel against his? Turns out, pretty fantastic!
They broke apart, gasping for air. Roman hugged Janus close, never wanting to let go.
"You deserve the world, Janus, and I want to give it to you." He whispered softly and earnestly, kissing his scar gently.
Janus blushed and smirked at him. "Well, for now…" he pulled him into another heated kiss. "This shall suffice." He completed when they broke apart again, making them both chuckle.
Roman knew this was just the beginning and they still have a long way ahead, but right now, holding Janus like the precious treasure he was to him, Roman didn't worry about it all that much…
